Author's Note: I posted the fic this morning and got so many hits, like omfg. I've totally by passed my writers block. YAY!!! Now down to the reviews, someone PLEASE REVIEW!!! I shall finish Breaking the Habit after this fic so please review me, even if it's a flame. Bad criticism is better than none at all.
The days faded from one to another. Everything a boring blur.
'Giving out to first years, homework, class work, studying, eating (barely), sleeping. Oh what a life.'
He could've gone to the top of the tallest tower. He could've gotten in the bath and never got out. He could've done so many things to end it all but he didn't.
He was clinging to the hope that maybe, just maybe, he would be loved. By someone. Just even the tiniest glimmer of affection would do.
But it was a long time coming. 'Please, someone, please. Just listen to me. For me to hold. Be with me.'
One day, the week after the incident with Lily, while trudging through his room, a note fluttered out of a fold in his robe.
He noticed the delicate loops peeking out of the folds. 'Her.' He snorted. 'Perhaps I should just burn it.' He blinked at it.
Something nagged him, a voice he rarely heard, to read it. To forgive.
Picking up the note he opened it. Slowly reading the words. Savoring the scent of the perfume that lingered on the paper. Begging the gods to bring the person that wears it to come to him.
Severus,
Please, I must meet with you. I am. . . No.
I will be in the same place at the same time.
If you will come. I understand if not.
J.
'I won't. No. I will not suffer again .She deserves not even a nod.'
Still he found himself dragging himself into his robe, and heading to the spot. While walking through the garden, a hand pulled him into the bushes.
"I find this highly inappro-" he began.
Cut short by lips that were warm and wet pressing into his. She pulled away.
"Lily I can't imagine why you wanted me here. Why You just. . . Did that."
She smirked, "You didn't enjoy it?" she looked so innocent.
"Please girl."
"I'll just leave then. There's no point."
"Look, Lily, just tell me. What? What do you want? If you were trying to hurt me, it's done."
"No. Severus. NO!" she grabbed his arm. "No. That's not it."
"Explain." he demanded. His stance softening. He couldn't stay annoyed. He just wanted to taste those blood red lips again.
"It's over."
"Over? What's 'over'?" he questioned.
"Me and James. We're over. I finally told him. There's someone else."
"Someone else? Huh? What am I? The in-between?"
"No Severus, no. Please." she pleaded with him again. "It's you. You're the one. The other person."
She leaned in and kissed him again. This time her lips were salty. He placed both his hands on either side of her face and wiped away the tears.
"Lily, I'm so sorry. I never meant to be so. . ."
She kissed him again. "It was my fault. Would you like to. . .go out with me." She looked up in his eyes intently. Searching. Waiting.
"I don't know. Lily, I'm not sure."
"We'll keep this between us for a while. Gradually make it more. . . Public."
"Alright. We may try at least I suppose. Lily, I must ask you, please, be truthful. Did they put you up to this. If they did. Just walk away, I will forget this and we'll leave anything that may have happened."
"Never. I could never, ever, do that to anyone. I promise you, that I am being truthful, with all my heart."
"Come with me. Walk with me." Severus requested.
"I must return to the dorm, but I shall owl you after. I promise." she squeezed his hand gently.
"Lily," she turned back toward him, "kiss me." please he begged silently. Even if this was a joke it would mean everything for one last intimate gesture.
She smiled a sweet sweet smile and kissed him. Her beautiful soft tongue pushing against his lips, begging him to open his mouth, snaking into his when he granted entry. Her fingers running into his hair. Pulling him yet closer again.
He could feel the shape of her body leaning against his. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her into him harder.
She pulled away, "Severus, I will owl you with a new meeting place."
"Please Lily, meet me in the Great Hall at breakfast."
"No, I can't. Not yet. It's too soon. I promise, I will let you know."
He nodded content in the knowledge that it had finally happened. Someone had done it finally. In seventeen years, someone finally showed him affection.
He was walking on air going back to his dorm. 'Wow.' It's all that would come to mind.
He flopped onto the bed, falling asleep as the owl quietly dropped the sealed envelope on the floor and left.
Awaking the next morning he found the note gracing the carpet. Picking it up he broke the seal.
Severus,
Breakfast sounds great. But how about lunch instead? A picnic in the grounds? You bring the blanket,
I will bring the food.
Lily.
He smiled to himself as he jumped in the shower. 'A date, someone not only kissed me, but she wants me to meet her again.'
As he wondered through the day in a daydream-ing world a thought kept niggling at him in the back of his mind,
'She will do it again. She will stand you up. You will go no where.'
He shook his head as soon as the thought entered it. 'No. Please no.'
He arrived in Potions, the class just before lunch, and sat, charming his wand to take notes. He could hear some sniggering behind him.
Turning just in time to see an ink well float over his head and fall all over the notes. Black and Lupin sniggered while nudging Potter. 'Potter, it seems, is depressed.' Severus smirked, knowing what his lunch time plans were.
Lily joined in the laughter. Severus jerked at the sound of her gentle giggle. His face fell. 'She's joined them again.'
After class he still headed to the meeting place with the blanket as planned. She showed up with a basket, albeit a few minutes late.
"What do you think you were doing?" he snarled, throwing the blanket at her.
"Severus, I'm sorry-"
"No Lily, I'm sorry. I can't stick with this, I am NOT a toy!" he growled deeply. "If none of ye noticed, I have feelings too. I get hurt!"
"Severus, I know. I do too. Severus. I can't stick with James, or any of them any more."
"I don't care. You're on your own. Lily, I can't take this shit anymore. I don't think I can withstand any more pain than I have."
"Sev-"
"Save it Lily, I just can't deal with anymore. No more pain. No more heart-brake. No more taunting. Just no more."
Tears slipped down her pale skin as Severus turned his back on her. Walking toward his dorm. No more.
Everything I've done,
I've done for you.
Author's Note: Again, I own no characters, nor do I own anyone, not even me. Damn devil. Sold my soul. All I wanted was some orange sherrrrberrrrt. ;-)
