Story title: A Phoenix's Tale
Summary: What started with a drunken and depressed Harry, ends up with Harry returning to the past to prevent the dark future ahead. Though Harry had expected his new identity and many obstacles on the way, Fawkes might not have been very clear on the fact that he would have the Animagus form of a Phoenix as well. Not that Harry was complaining.
Beta: Not yet, I first want to see how this is received (since I already have a few other stories hehe) so sorry for the very bad grammar that you might encounter.
A/N: Finally got some more inspiration for this chapter. Hopefully more will follow and another chapter will be added. Please share your thoughts after having read this. It would be very much appreciated!
Hope you enjoy!
A Phoenix's Tale
Chapter 2: Warming Up
Being in phoenix form was very comfortable – there was this warm core that you seemed to carry around with you – yet it was very taxing at the same time. It was an odd sensation that was difficult to describe. It was like feeling restless, as if body was itching to shift.
One might call it a bit claustrophobic, yet that didn't really match either. It was more like something in the back of your mind nagging you, yet it was barely noticeable that you nearly forgot it was there.
The only word that really seemed to fit was simply…
Odd.
Currently, the small-phoenix-turned-Harry-Potter shifted agitatedly in the small nest that was built from some twigs, old leaves and a lot of ash. There was so much ash that Harry was surprised that he hadn't chocked in it yet. Not to mention that it got everywhere.
He ruffled his feathers in an agitated manner, trying to get it off him, but it only made it worse. Harry mentally sighed in defeat. He wasn't sure if he was ever going to be clean again.
The older Phoenix, resting right next to him, simply watched Harry's attempts to get clean. An emission of amused vibes came from the creature, causing Harry to huff in disapproval. Then, feeling suddenly slightly mischievous Harry turned to the Phoenix – cocking his small head just so as he did- and looked at the elder Phoenix pleadingly with his large eyes.
The dust covering him somewhat pathetically suddenly seemed to work to his advantage.
While said Phoenix knew exactly what Harry was doing, it didn't make the picture less adorable. Fawkes tilted his chin ever so slightly to stare down at the little one with a knowing look and stood firm. The two didn't break eye contact for a while, neither one wanted to be the one that gave in, before Fakwes couldn't help but take pity in him and proceeded to show him how to properly clean himself.
Which was a bit awkward, but Harry got over that soon enough.
The fact that he could turn his neck in such an odd angle was still disturbing to him.
Yet it all felt so natural.
Which was so unnatural by itself.
Once the smaller bird was once again clean – though he had no idea how long that would last - Fakwes informed Harry that he was going outside to stretch his wings and to get them a little snack. Hearing this plan, Harry had been more than willing to come along. The thought excited him, clearly remembering the thrill of his difficult and tiring journey that got him here.
No matter how taxing the flight had been, Harry had loved the sensation.
Unfortunately, Fawkes refused.
'You are not strong enough yet, Little One.' He told him calmly, amused by the 'boy's' restlessness.
'Not strong enough?' Harry thought with some disbelief. Not strong enough? Even though he had flown all the way to this tower from the forest through a chilling snowstorm?
'But…' He protested with a chirp.
He was cut off by the elder Phoenix, who had nudged him in a chiding manner.
'Not yet. Be patient, Child.'
Disgruntled – first of all, he couldn't come along and then second, he had been called a small child of all things - Harry had stayed behind and pointedly ignored the amusement he felt coming from the Headmaster, whom had been silently watching the two birds interact.
At least, that is what Harry suspected that the man had been doing, judged by his reaction. Harry felt – which was also an odd sensation natural-yet-not sensation by itself – something like mental laughter coming from the man, who was definitely pretending to do his paperwork. The shiny teakettle that was conveniently placed on the desk was the perfect mirror to subtly watch the two interact.
Sneaky old man.
Once Fawkes was completely gone, Harry once again caught the man peaking at him. Most likely trying to see his reaction to being left behind and Harry chirped haughtily at Dumbledore to show that he was very much aware of his little tactic.
He was not fooling anyone.
Still, at the same time, Harry could tell the old man was only curious and that he didn't mean any harm by watching them. Dumbledore simply had a lot of interest in them and was fascinated to see 'their species' interact. It was also somewhat satisfying to feel the affection that the man felt for Fawkes. Hell, Albus already liked Phoenix-Harry quite a lot and he had only been here for a day or two.
Still, now that Harry was alone with the man, he couldn't help but feel somewhat awkward. He turned his head to keep an eye on the Headmaster, who had finally stopped pretending and was now openly studying him with a harmless smile on his face. Even his eyes were twinkling.
Harry had promptly faked sleep after seeing that particular smile.
He had seen is so many times in his own past, it made him remember all those things that had gone wrong.
Damn… he was in the past damn it!
It disturbed Harry more that he wasn't really faced by this disturbing situation than that he felt disturbed by actually being in the situation.
Human-Harry would have been freaking out.
Instead, Phoenix-Harry turned his attention to the man who had meant so much to him in said past.
For all Dumbledore's mistakes, Harry really respected and cared for the man. Yet, he was not comfortable with the man's presence, even though he could practically feel the good intention that the man was filled with.
As to prove it, the Headmaster let out a soft chuckle and flashed him one last smile in reaction to Harry's 'rude' behaviour. Then he stood up and gathered a few things from his desk and left the room quietly to give him some time alone.
It was a nice gesture.
A small part in the back of his brain understood why Fawkes had taken a liking to the man.
It were all these little things – the good intentions, the real affection that he had been shown - that made it difficult to be angry with the man who had been practically manipulating Harry his whole life. It was even more difficult to be angry with him when Harry could actually somewhat understand why he had done it. Sure, Harry wasn't happy with it. Not at all… but he could understand.
Maybe, just maybe, if Harry really wouldn't have had any other choice and had felt very desperate to save the people he cared about and who had believed in him to end it all… he would have done the same as Dumbledore – even though he probably wouldn't have kept anyone in the dark like the man had done to him.
This understanding and acceptance… Harry couldn't help but feel that this bothered him the most about this whole Phoenix thing.
This subtle insight in people – which Fawkes had told him would only grow – was urging him to understand. How could one stay angry with someone when you could understand someone like that?
Still, understanding didn't equal forgiveness, seeing as Harry – the human mind that was still very much present – had been pretty relieved when the man had stood up and left silently to let him rest.
It had been a nice gesture though…
Now that the human-turned-Phoenix was left alone and that the Headmaster was doing whatever he was doing outside his office at the moment, Harry decided that he could still try to stretch his wings in the office itself. It wasn't like Fawkes had told him not to…
Besides, it wasn't like it would hurt him or anything…
Harry wiggled himself out of the piles of ashes that surrounded him with some difficulty. It suddenly felt if the Phoenix had tucked him in - much like as if Harry were a child - of all things. Ruffling his feathers to get that damn dust from between his feathers, Harry stood at the edge.
Looking down, the young Phoenix realised that it looked higher than his human mind had estimated, though maybe that was because he was just a lot smaller…
Luckily he didn't fear heights that much… or rather… at all.
Shifting his body in what he hoped to be a good jumping pose, Harry pushed himself off and flew forward to reach the chair at the desk –
Only to find himself descending to the ground.
Huh…
Flapping his wings rather pathetically, Harry suddenly felt a wave of tiredness and shivers crashing down on him.
The small Phoenix landed awkwardly on the ground and warily looked around. He felt really small and uncomfortable, as everything seemed to tower over him. He tried flapping his wings again in order to get at least off the ground, but he couldn't get enough height to reach something to sit on. He shuffled from side to side as his feet… claws… touched the ground again.
Harry now realised how tiring it had been to actually reach the hole in that prison that Fawkes had teasingly called his "safehouse".
How the hell had he managed to do that?
Thinking back, Harry realised that he hadn't felt this hungry at the time. Fawkes fire had still been burning in him and he had eaten regularly. Now though, Harry felt weak. He really had been getting hungry. Was it because he was young that he was still very dependent on the food? It would be obvious actually. He had stayed in this Phoenix form for quite a while and he hadn't really eaten anything yet since his transformation, except a bit of the ashes that Fawkes told him to eat.
Much to his initial disgust…
Though it hadn't tasted that disgusting at all actually.
He shook his head in a human-like manner at the memory, before he realised what he was doing. A grumpy croon escaped him as he stopped the useless movement. It was so disorientating to have this Phoenix-instinct and Human-perception at the same time.
A loud noise that left the ground trembling softly startled the small Phoenix.
He instinctively tried to fly away again but didn't get far and scurried towards the desk to hide in the shadows.
Halfway, Harry realised that it was probably the moving of the stairs and the gargoyle that made such a noise. Someone was simply entering the office and though it made Harry feel somewhat wary – even though he didn't feel any negative energy coming from the presence on the stairs – he realised that he had overreacted.
Those instincts were powerful.
He was such a veteran.
"Albus?" A familiar voice called out.
Harry couldn't help but push himself further into the shadows as the woman entered the study.
Memories were calling out to him. Horrible memories that he wanted to forget. The cold feelings that-
Harry's thought was broken by a wave of emotions that washed over him.
This Minerva McGonagall was not his Minerva McGonagall.
The effects of Harry's War did not exist here.
With a relaxed sigh, Harry enjoyed the feelings that he was able to pick up from the old lady, whom was inspecting the office a few feet away from him, papers in hand. She felt so alive. Sure, there was some irritation there, some tiredness and wariness from a long day of work and such. But it was so much different from the Minerva that Harry had known in the future.
His Minerva had been exhausted and broken. Broken in a way that everyone in the war had been broken. Empty eyes and saddened eyes. A woman who clamped herself to a school that she had always lived for. She fulfilled her duties with everything she had…
It had been her escape. The only thing that held her together had been a personal promise she had made to Albus.
To protect Hogwarts.
The future witch hadn't dared to show it to anyone, but Harry had seen it in her eyes once, during a discussion about Dumbledore and Snape and well… everything.
She had probably seen the exact look in his eyes as well – if not worse.
But that was now gone… Harry reminded himself vigorously. That horrible future was gone.
Harry felt so happy at that moment that he couldn't help but croon merrily as he basked in this healthier and happier version of McGonagall.
Of course, said croon alerted her of his presence and the woman blinked as she stared at him in surprise.
"Fawkes?" Minvera addressed him with a confused tone. Her assumption that he was Fawkes didn't surprise Harry at all.
"Hello Fawkes." She greeted more properly this time. "Albus didn't mention that you had gone through your 'burning' already." She told him, surprised to see him there. "Why are you hiding there? Were you trying to climb back up?"
Harry ruffled his feathers in embarrassment at having been caught in his problematic position and chirped gruffly.
She chuckled at his behaviour and slowly took a step forward to approach him. Her movement was graceful, like her posture had always been. However, said movement suddenly reminded Harry that this woman was also an animagus – which had to be a cat...
Harry couldn't feel completely comfortable after that realisation – even though he knew that Minerva would never hurt him - and shuffled back slightly.
Luckily, the witch seemed to notice his discomfort and stopped her approach.
"Really Fawkes…" She sighed. "You know that even felines would never dare to hurt a big and magical bird like you…"
He cocked his head in reply.
Interesting.
'At least I'm not the only one that feels uncomfortable…' Harry realised with some relief as he watched her crouch down.
Somehow the woman managed to crouch down in a non-threatening way. He watched as she calmly stuck out her hand just above the ground, palm upwards. Harry stared at the offered 'plateau' and gathering all his Gryffindor courage to squash that stupid irrational birdy instinct and scampered forwards. He paused slightly as he was close enough to touch the hand and looked up at the witch.
She was huge…
Correction… Harry was so tiny!
With an awkward 'hop' Harry managed to climb on the hand and shifted uneasily as she moved him towards the little nest. He was about to jump off but McGonagall had already gently placed him on the surface. Harry chirped awkwardly to portray his thanks and shivered when she fondly rubbed his head.
That felt quite good actually.
"I'm actually surprised that you allowed me so close to you this time. I feel humbled. You tend to be more distant to me." McGonagall confessed.
Harry realised that she really did somewhat feel humbled.
Just because she was meeting him, while he was actually simply a Phoenix-animagus…
This situation was so incredibly odd.
Harry promptly pushed the feeling aside and focused on the fact that the woman that he had respected and cared about stood before him.
Healthier. Happier.
And alive.
Minerva continued to stroke Harry – who wasn't complaining seeing as if felt pretty good - while she continued her one-sided conversation, unaware of his musings.
"Really… Albus must be busier than I had thought when he doesn't keep an eye on you after your burning. He should at least have mentioned something. Do you know where he is?" She questioned him.
'Kitchen most likely.' Harry thought and crooned encouragingly.
"I will have to guess that you are thinking about the Kitchen as well." The old witch chuckled. " Well at least he stopped fooling people with that story of his. Really, two Phoenixes? A new one visiting you? For a moment I believed him, because he actually seemed sincere but the idea alone… it is so ridiculous. He had to be joking after all. It is already rare for you to grace his presence…"
Harry couldn't help but feel very amused as he crooned again.
"Well… At least now I know that he really was joking. I don't know very much about your kind but I know that there are so few of you that it is already a humbling experience to meet one of you. Let alone tw-"
A croon echoed through the study.
Harry hadn't made that sound though and turned towards the open window.
Minerva froze and her hand stopped stroking him as well. She took a deep breath before she slowly turned towards the widow and saw Fakwes – another one? - come down towards the nest she was standing near. Slowly, she took a few steps back until she finally reached Albus his chair and sank down into it.
"Merlin." She breathed.
Harry ignored her – though her emotions were kind of difficult to ignore – and let out a content trill as Fawkes hopped down into the nest and settled down next to him. He had a twig of berries in his beak and offered it to him. Harry was glad, as he had been getting quite hungry.
He was about to take a bite when Fawkes burned it.
Figures.
Harry stared at it in confusion – was he supposed to eat it while it was still burning – before Fawkes pushed it towards him.
'Eat little one.'
'Fine… more ashes, just what I need.'
Fawkes mentally laughed at him and nudged him in encouragement. 'It will strengthen you. In a few hours you will be able to travel again and return to you human form.'
Harry startled. He didn't quite want to go back to his human form. He was very much aware that his emotions were easier to deal with in Phoenix form. A nib from Fawkes let him know that the elder Phoenix wouldn't take no for an answer.
'You need to take care of your human body as well… It is the source of your strength.'
At least the Phoenix had a valid reason, Harry admitted reluctantly as he swallowed one of the berries and froze…
'They are delicious…' Harry thought, confused as he quickly took another one and pointedly ignored the smugness that was oozing from the Phoenix right next to him.
'You are welcome, little One.'
Both birds were aware of the fact that the witch had yet to move from her place on the chair. She seemed to have gone into shock and was only startled out of it when another person entered the office.
"Ah Minerva, my dear. I was wondering when you would come check up on me." He greeted her warmly before he took in her shocked expression. "Ah, I see you have met our guest. Don't worry my dear, I was quite surprised myself."
"Ah… yes." She lamely stated, obviously not able to think quite clearly yet.
The interaction between the two was endearing, but Harry realised that he had reached his limit.
Harry watched the two interact from his spot, swallowing another berry as he did, and thrilled softly to Fawkes. 'I'm gonna leave as soon as I feel better.'
Fawkes didn't react but Harry knew that the Phoenix understood. 'I will guide you to a safe place.' He agreed mentally.
Harry nudged him thankfully and quickly ate another berry as he watched the witch and the wizard discuss his arrival with much interest.
'They will be disappointed to see you go, Little One.' Fawkes commented.
Harry didn't reply and stubbornly ignored the painful twinge in his chest.
If he had noticed it – Harry didn't have a clue how well Fawkes could actually read him - then Fawkes decided not to comment on it.
Harry was grateful.
He needed to get away from these familiar - yet they were not his – people that he cared about. He needed some space. He needed to check up on the people that he had let down. He needed to make sure that they were well.
That those who had been killed, were still alive and well…
Like Hermione, Ron, Remus, Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Gi-
Wait… What year was it again?
Shit.
Sirius was still in Azkaban.
~End Chapter ~
Le gasp! In Azkaban? Sirius-ly? (sorry couldn't resist!)
Hope to hear from you guys soon and until next chapter!
