Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, the series would lose all its fans because of my crappy art.

A/N: Introducing the sand sibs! More Academic Teamers! More teachers! Akatsuki! Profanity! An actual plot! Wowee-kazowee!

…Ignore that last part. Please.

This takes place about a day or two after the first two chapters. Why are they having a long weekend? BECAUSE I SAID SO. It's probably an inservice day on Friday or something, where the teachers have to work but the kids don't have to go to school.

Chapter 3: Socializing

Temari had her head quite literally buried in a calculus book, her cell phone to her ear. God, but she wanted it to be quiet. Kankurou was out of the apartment for once, and she should have been taking advantage of the odd silence to study.

"Baki, please, you know I never go out on Thursdays." Voice neutral, unthreatening. Wait until he gets angry to start cussing him out.

"Dammit, Temari, we don't have school tomorrow. What the hell do you want to study all the time for?"

Myself. College. Getting out of this hellhole. "Nothing, really. Just don't want to fail any classes this semester."

"You're too damn smart to fail any classes. Stop lying to me." His voice was getting dangerous. "You're avoiding me. I want to go to this party, and I want to go with you. And there're going to be some of those Konoha bastards there and I want to hit something."

I want to hit something. That sounded scarily like both Gaara and Baki, and Temari found herself gripping her pencil harder. "All right, I'll go. Pick me up at eight?"

"Yeah," said Baki, sounding calmer. "See ya at eight. I love you." He hung up with Temari still lying face-first in her book.

"I…love you," she muttered into the phone for all the good it would do.

Why did she have to be such an idiot around guys? Spineless, she thought, was the word for it. Dammit, she needed Kankurou here right about now. She could yell at him without him taking any offence or thinking she was doing something besides venting. You couldn't do that with Gaara unless you had a death wish.

Temari hurled her pencil at the wall and then went to find something to wear.

.oOo.

The members of the Konoha High Academic Team slowly trickled into Mr. Orochimaru's classroom. He taught physics, Naruto knew, but he had never actually met the reclusive teacher. There were several upperclassmen he hadn't talked to in the room, as well as the bushy-eyebrowed Lee.

"Yo, freshie, what's your name?" said a rough female voice. Naruto assumed she was talking to him, since he appeared to be the only 'freshie' present.

"Don't call me freshie! I'm Naruto Uzumaki!"

"You are a freshie, dumbass," the girl replied. Her hair was pink, like Sakura's, but it was a darker and more violent shade, and Naruto found her a bit scary-looking.

"Girls shouldn't talk like that, Tayuya," said a heavyset boy sitting next to her.

"Shut the hell up, you misogynistic fatass," said Tayuya, now ignoring Naruto and glaring daggers at the other boy, whose bright orange mohawk trembled visibly.

Sasuke walked in and sat at the back of the room, followed by Sakura and Ino, who took seats on either side of him and alternately gazed longingly at Sasuke and angrily at each other. Sasuke paid no attention to either of them and stared at the snakeskin that was stretched out across the top of the blackboard. Naruto tried to swallow his jealousy and waved halfheartedly at Hinata, who was just entering with Kiba at her side.

When all nine freshmen and twelve upperclassmen were in the room, Ms. Yuuhi, Asuma, Mr. Maito, and a sinister-looking man Naruto didn't know stood up. Mr. Hatake appeared to be absent.

"Welcome to the sixth year of our Academic Team," said Mr. Sinister. "For those of you who do not know me, I am Mr. Orochimaru, physics teacher here at Konoha High School and coordinator of this team. This meeting of the team is for our freshmen and upperclassmen to introduce themselves, and to have the upperclassmen explain the process of the competition to our newcomers." He smiled. Naruto noticed that the smile didn't reach his eyes, and found that a bit creepy.

"I'm Kabuto Yakushi, for those of you who don't know me," said a boy with silvery blonde hair and glasses. "I'm a senior, and—"

He had been cut off by Mr. Hatake, who was standing in the door. "Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?"

"Nothing much," said a girl with dark hair up in two buns.

"We were just saying we're going to take these freshmen to a party so they can loosen up with us," announced a pale boy who was wearing, for some reason unbeknownst to Naruto, lipstick.

"I didn't say anything about a party," protested Kabuto, looking to Mr. Orochimaru for guidance.

"Well, Sakon did," said Tayuya, "so we're going to a goddamn party. There's a good one over in Suna."

"Ah," said Mr. Hatake, and began to read his orange book.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," said Ms. Yuuhi. What she did not say was I know how high school parties tend to go, but Naruto could see she wanted to.

"Ah, Kurenai, let them go if they want to," said Asuma. "As long as none of you have massive hangovers in class tomorrow, I see no problem with having a little fun."

"Asuma, you are the coolest teacher in this school, excepting Mr. Orochimaru, of course," said Sakon, grinning a lipsticky smile.

"No, excepting Mr. Maito!" said Lee.

"Lee! Your youthful loyalty to your coach brings me to tears!" Several students, including Naruto, rolled their eyes. It didn't take a genius to predict what was coming next.

"MR. MAITO!"

"LEE!"

"MR. MAITO!"

"LEE!"

"MR. MAITO!"

"LEE!"

While this was going on, Bun-girl snuck up to the chalkboard and drew a large sunset behind Lee and Mr. Maito. Most of the students laughed, and Naruto slapped her a high-five as she walked back to her seat.

"Those of you who are not enthralled by visions of youthful splendor may leave now," said Mr. Hatake, looking up from his book for about a second.

"Yeah! Party!" yelled Naruto, scrambling out the door.

.oOo.

The window of the spare bedroom of the Yamanaka house was open, and Ino groaned. It was a long weekend at Akatsuki, wasn't it? That meant Deidara was here. Ino was supposed to be prepping for a party, and she didn't want to deal with her cousin right now.

In the foyer of the house, she was accosted by the artist himself. "Ino! It's great to see you, yeah." Deidara wrapped his arms, still in an Akatsuki College Prep uniform, around his cousin's neck in a very tight hug.

"You're getting clay on my clothes," said Ino, trying to shove past him and get up the stairs to the shower. "I have a party to go to" slipped out before she could think of who she was talking to.

Deidara released Ino from his stranglehold. "A party? You mean that one over in Suna, yeah? That's going to be awesome, yeah. The cops over there have bigger things to worry about than a bunch of teenagers and some spiked punch, yeah. It'll be all explosions and art. Let's carpool, Ino, yeah!" Ino groaned. She definitely didn't want to deal with her cousin right now.

"Sure, Deidara, whatever. I have to take a shower." But he had already scampered up the stairs and locked himself in the spare bedroom, humming loudly.

.oOo.

Shikamaru had no intention of going to the party. Socializing was too troublesome to be bothered with, and finding suitable clothes even more so. What he really wanted to do was lie on his back and look at the clouds through his skylight. When his mother made him do his homework, he'd do it (because arguing was too troublesome,) and eventually he'd fall asleep. It was what he did every night.

But at eight-o-clock, someone knocked impatiently on the door. "Get that, Shikamaru!" his mother screeched, and he reluctantly dragged himself down the stairs and opened the door, if only to stop the incessant pounding.

He was met with a bouncing figure in bright orange. "Get in Sakon's car!" it yelled, then grabbed his arm and dragged him down the lawn. Shikamaru considered saying something about kidnapping, but it would be far too troublesome. He settled for a dull "What?" as he was shoved through the door of an ancient hippie van.

"Team socializing, remember?" said the person in the driver's seat. "It's mandatory." Judging by the lipstick, this was Sakon. "He's the last one, right, Kidoumaru?"

"Yep." Kidoumaru, the guy in the passenger seat, nodded. "Welcome to our parlor."

"…said the spider to the fly," Shikamaru muttered.

.oOo.

"You look like a goddamn punk," said Baki. Temari said nothing. "Go up and change. Can't you even dress right?"

"You're talking to my sister," said Gaara calmly. Temari hadn't seen or heard him arrive, but he was standing behind her and she was grateful for it.

It was amazing, Temari thought, how Baki's personality did a one-eighty when her little brother showed up. "Oh, hey, Gaara. How's it going, dude?" Gaara simply nodded rather than jumping for the older boy's throat. At least Gaara seemed to like Baki, which was more than could be said for any of Temari's previous boyfriends.

The outfit was not commented on any more as Baki walked Temari out to his car. "Do you think it's okay for us to leave Gaara alone? Kankurou's not home," he said.

"Yeah, he'll be fine," said Temari. "He's fourteen now, and he's a tough kid."

.oOo.

Ino was more than ready for the party. With enough pleading on her part ("Please, Daddy, I'm done with my homework. C'mon, Daddy, I won't get in trouble.") and vows of responsibility on Deidara's ("I'll take care of your daughter, Uncle Inoichi, yeah."), her father had caved and allowed her to go. Now all she needed was a ride. Deidara had a license, but Ino wouldn't trust him anywhere near the wheel. She called her friends, but none of them picked up.

She was on the verge of caving and letting Deidara take her parents' car when a hippie van pulled up, driven by Tayuya. Unlike Sakon, she hadn't bothered to try and scrape the paint off, so the thing was one giant lime-green exaltation of peace, love, and recreational drug usage.

"Get in the car, freshie," yelled the driver, her pink hair clashing violently with the vehicle. Ino clambered in, noticing Sasuke and Sakura, along with Lee and a few more upperclassmen she didn't know yet.

She looked out the window and saw Deidara, trying very hard to look like a sad abandoned puppy on the lawn. Making me feel guilty? She sighed. "Do we have room for one more?"

"No way in hell," said Tayuya. "It's gonna be cramped as it is." Deidara, having sensed an opportunity, was now making his puppy face over by the window.

"Dude, she's hot. Can we take her?" asked one of the upperclassmen, a guy with spiky brown hair and a shirt that said 'death' on it in kanji. (Despite her blonde hair and blue contacts, Ino was proud of her Japanese heritage and was learning the language.)

"He's a guy," she informed the boy.

"Well, he's hot," said the upperclassman, shrugging. "Please, Tayuya?"

"What the hell. Fine. Someone gets a lap dance. Let's just go."

Sakura made it to Sasuke's lap before Ino did, and smirked the entire rest of the trip.

.oOo.

Both vans made it to an abandoned storefront in Suna at last, unloading the entire Academic Team of Konoha High onto the pavement. They were parked far away, but Naruto could hear the music from here.

"All right. There are a few ground rules for this team field trip," said Sakon.

"Rules? I thought this was a party!" said Naruto, outraged. What kind of a party had rules?

"Shut the hell up and let the faggot talk," said Tayuya.

Sakon grinned wickedly. "They are: stay conscious, always knock on closets, don't get in fights with any of the Suna kids, and party your mind out."

"Oh yeah, and Sakon is legal as of yesterday, so you can call statutory on him if you want," added Kidoumaru. Catching a lipsticked glare, he added, "But he likes older men, so you're probably safe. Just be careful around those closets."

There was a brief awkward silence in which the group (especially the guys) contemplated this and Sakon fumed. Naruto hated awkward silences. "Party!" he yelled, running toward the source of the music.

"Yeah!" added Deidara.

"Troublesome," said Shikamaru. It was going to be a long night.