For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.-T. S. Eliot
Damon POV
Witchy finally arrived but with not much information. She found something and she was going to need Jeremy and the rest of the witched to try a spell. Problem with trying is it cost time and we don't have much time. She and Jeremy left tot that creepy witch house. Rage was boiling up and down through my body, it was just because of years and years experience and training that I could control myself. And the fact that Elena was here. When I just thought of her my dead undead heart made all kind of strange moves and it hurt when I thought of how things went terribly wrong. In an amount of just a few hours everything turned upside down and I knew I shouldn't have left her. I just made the stupid mistake to think that maybe, maybe my dumbass baby bro would be able to at least take care of his girl for a few hours. But no that moron was too busy respecting her "whishes". I clenched my jaw and tried to keep myself under control.
'We have a whole day before she has to feed and today to exhaust every possible way out of it', said Stefan. I snapped.
'There is no way out of it'. I looked at Elena', Feed or you'll die'. Damn this! I know I was being harsh, I saw the tears welling up in her eyes. I looked away. This was getting insane. I was getting insane here. I needed to feed but there were no blood bags here and I couldn't leave yet. So I needed another drink of alcohol. I grabbed the bottle and emptied it in a glass.
'I need some air'. And with that I walked out of the door with the glass in my hand. I clutched the railing of the porch with so much power I almost broke it and my knuckles turned white. I tried not to think because each thought hurt but I have to think, I needed to think of a solution to get out of this mess. It wasn't just about Elena, there was also that problem with the council members aware of us since evil Alaric alerted them. They were this evening at the hospital, I guess they patrol there now and as far as I know they don't know about Elena yet and I wanted to keep it that way and there was something with Bonnie, I could sense it in the way she avoid looking in the eyes and I needed more information about the lines of the Originals, who sired us? Who can we kill, cause one thing was sure as hell, we needed to get rid of them! I felt heavy, it was like I had to carry the world around my shoulders. I wish I could just stop this feeling, just turn it off again but really who am I kidding? I don't think I'm able to do so, even if I want to.
'Damon?'. Her voice made me shiver. I knew that when I would turn around I'd see her brown doe eyes which will mess with my mind and I couldn't have that now. She'd pled me with her eyes to comfort her, to calm her, to behave and I needed every power I have to resist her.
'Yes, Elena?' I didn't turn and I could hear her coming closer. I closed my eyes for a second before turning, I didn't want her to come closer and I could only stop her by turning. And she did. She froze.
'What is….Are you ok?'. She asked. I almost had to laugh, she was in transitioning, she died and she was the one who was suffering the most and she was asking me if I was ok.
'Yes, Elena, I'm fine. Go back inside ok'. My world just crushed down when you died, when we failed you, when I failed you, I wasn't there to save you from becoming the one thing you didn't want but God I was so damn thankful to Meredith for saving you even if it meant you'd become a vampire. All this I couldn't tell her.
'Damon, please. Don't..'. I interrupted her.
'Elena, please…..not now ok', I closed my eyes for a moment before looking at her. I saw the tears in her eyes, the confusion and the hurt. And then I saw anger and she frowned her forehead, she was about to fight, which was fine, it was better than crying. I've always loved her spunk. I just had to smile which made her confused again.
'Elena, I'm not fine, everything is just a mess and I need to fix it, so please just….just go'. She sighed, I could see her swallow, she looked away staring at the sky, looked back at me and then nodded. This time I saw sadness in her eyes, understanding and compassion.
'Ok', she gave me one more look and walked away. But before entering the house she turned and caught me staring at her. Frowning my eyebrows I kept looking at her intensely. If she'd say anything or do something now I'd probably break down. I'd grab her, run away as far as I could go and I'd never let her go. She kept looking back at me, her pupil was growing bigger and her eyes were almost black. I could see her swallow and I could almost feel the electricity in the air. It reminded me of that night in Denver. I took one step closer when I heard Stefan. I froze.
'Elena, are you ok?' was what he asked her. She blinked with her eyes like she was coming out of a trance. She frowned her forehead, shake it a little and then answered with a hoarse voice.
'Yes…I'm….i'm fine'. She gave me one last glance and left me standing there. Damn you, idiot, I was cursing myself. I had almost lost it. I emptied my glass and sighed. Some days, well actually , most of the days I long to the days that I could actually get drunk and black out. Since I'm a vampire I can drink as much as I want and it has almost no effect at all. The only thing that seems to help to take the urge off and to take my mind of shit is blood. But well..that's another pain in the ass, I seem to have forgotten how to feed on people these days. My thoughts were interrupted by my ringing phone.
'Liz, what's wrong?'.
'Damon, we have a problem. Can you come asap?'. She sounded urgent.
'I'm on my way'. I hang up and went inside to grab my coat. Before I left I turned to Stefan.
'I need to go to Liz, can I trust you to keep an eye on…everyone for a few hours?'. Like I had I choice. I had to do everything here on my own and somehow I didn't trust him with this task but I had to. He nodded. I hesitated.
'I'll be back as soon as I can'. I glanced at Elena but this time it was her who avoided eye contact.
I'm going with you'. I forgot Blondie was still here. I wasn't in the mood to discus and she could actually take care of herself unlike some people. I made a gesture with my head which meant: Let's go. We left but before we entered my car her phone buzzed. When she looked at her phone she turned pale.
'Hey, Blondie, what's wrong?'. I frowned my forehead.
'It's impossible'. She mumbled. I grabbed her schoulders.
'What is Caroline?'. She looked at me, confused, scared but also with hope.
'It's Tyler', she whispered.
