Times of Darkness
Chapter Three: Of Dangerous Acquaintances
"You are progressing well in your training, Anakin."
"Thank you, Chancellor."
"Though I sense your control is still not complete?"
Anakin nodded within in the shelter of his hood, "There are times when my shields still slip, but Master Jinn rarely notices."
Palpatine's face creased into a grim smile and he bought his fingers together as they walked, "He didn't say anything?"
Anakin's steps became more forceful as the latest annoyance at the Temple came flooding back to him, along with the emotions that Obi-Wan had taken everything away from him! His home, his mom, his friends, even the prophecy! He was not having that too!
"You may not the Jedi's prophesised saviour," the Chancellor said venomously, "but you are one of the most powerful and insightful Jedi I have met for many years, Anakin. You deserve more respect than the Council credit you with."
Anakin preened at the praise and a smile brightened his shadowed features, "Thank you, Chancellor."
"Where does your esteemed Master think you are now, Anakin?"
It was with carefully honed practice that Anakin's steps didn't falter. He didn't like lying to his Master, but his Master, by the same token, didn't like him leaving the Temple in obscene hours of the evening. So tonight he'd just left without word, in the hopes that he wouldn't feel so bad afterwards. Still, something else was urging him to another tactic with the talkative Chancellor.
"I told him I was researching a project for my studies."
Palpatine nodded in pleased agreement, though Anakin couldn't fathom why, and the continued walking in silence for sometime. It was only when they stopped by an observation balcony that the conversation resumed.
"Has there been any further rumour of who your blessed Chosen One is?" he enquired lightly. A little too lightly, for Anakin's tastes. They'd been over this before, why did he constantly come back to it?
"No, Chancellor." He snapped irritably, and continued with open annoyance, "The Council still hold the same official position as before. There still is no Chosen One to the best of the knowledge, and Temple rumour has nothing new. Every once in a while an Initiate will do something and there will be a rush of stories, and then somebody will sneak a look at the Jedi in questions' medical record finding what they always find: nothing abnormal."
"I merely ask because someone of such great power could be a danger to us, Anakin." Palpatine said in calming tones, "So much power… not every Jedi has as much insight as you, my child. They would act blindly, taking all at face value. As such, if this Chosen One were found," he spoke in distaste, "I would rather know as soon as possible, to alert the Senate to the new threat."
Anakin nodded. It sounded very reasonable –most Jedi did do only what the Council told them to do, never questioning their will or the reasons behind it. Life as a slave had taught Anakin to always question ones orders; even if one did not do so aloud. "I will tell you of any rumours I overhear Chancellor, for the good of the Republic."
"Thank you, Anakin that would be much appreciated." The Chancellor smiled warmly, his teeth glinting in the electric-filled night and then glanced at the expensive chrono on his wrist. "My! Look at the time! You should return to the Temple Anakin, I'm sure Master Qui-Gon wouldn't want you studying at such a late hour!"
Anakin jumped himself when he saw the time, and verified it quickly with the Force. "Yes Chancellor. Good night."
Anakin watched the Chancellor leave, his cloak concealing him in the darkness and stood there for some time again after he vanished from sight. The lies he told seemed to weight down the air around him like re-enforced Uralium lead. He lied to the Chancellor, who only seemed to have faith in him and wanted him to do well. He lied to the Council, which would further upset his Master… and that was the worst. He lied to Qui-Gon nearly daily. Each one weaved itself into the complicated web that was his life these days. Anakin longed for his simpler life on Tattoine, though he didn't miss the enslavement one bit. He longed for his mother, and for Padme. Beautiful Padme. Yet he couldn't tell his Master of these feelings because they went against what it meant to be a Jedi. So he lied. He bent the truth. He kept the feelings locked away in the special box in his mind he'd had since realising they were wrong. It got harder and harder to keep it closed during the day, but he did and then relished the chances he could take out the memories and the feelings and marvel in the brilliance of them. But there always came a time when he had to put them away again, tuck them away at the back of his mind again, emerge from his web of lies again, look at his Master and lie again, live with the sick feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach again.
So Anakin didn't hurry back to the Temple. He chose, instead, to wander aimlessly. He visited mechanics stores, piloting devices stores, bits-and-pieces stores… he didn't buy anything though. Jedi didn't have much money, and Padawan's had even less. It was a point of contention for Anakin, who thought that once he was free from slavery he would be able to make lots of money and free his mother.
Eight years later and I'm still no closer. He thought darkly. What little money he did get he often ended up spending within days of receiving it; like it burnt a hole in his robes. It went on little bits –toy ships when he was younger, working models these days, an occasional music disc. Sometimes he bought things for his Master, like last year, Anakin bought Qui-Gon a crystal –it was oddly heavy and a deep, shiny, black. Anakin couldn't leave the shop without buying it even though it cost him all he had.
His Master said he really liked it though, which made up the difference –
Something Palpatine said pushed it's way to the forefront of his thoughts and Anakin shook his head to push it back to where it came from. He needed to meditate, loathsome as it was for him to admit it. He felt… jumbled. Unsettled and all mixed-up. This was nothing new –he often felt this way after his meetings with the Chancellor, with all the lying and sneaking it took to get there at all! And then there was the conversations themselves. His mind always felt…strained, afterwards. He supposed it was because Palpatine always made him think: about the Jedi, about power, about the Senate, about his position within the Order… about so many things he thought he had a handle on, thought he understood, were getting pretty much turned upside-down and inside-out.
Yes. As much as he hated to admit it –and he never would if asked- Anakin wanted to meditate.
With a deliberate slowness to his step Anakin ascended the large stone stairway up to the Temple entrance, pausing at the top to turn and watch the city below. Even at night it was a hive of activity: a city that never slept. It wasn't even that dark really.
Well, not compared to a desert at night anyway.
The hundreds of thousands of lights (millions?) illuminated the sky above them to an amazing degree. Certainly there was no doubt that it was night, but to Anakin's eyes it would always be on the verge of morning.
You can take the boy out of the desert but you can't take the desert out of the boy. Anakin snorted and turned back to the Temple. He was late after all. Carefully he crept back the Master-Padawan floors and snuck into the rooms he shared with Master Qui-Gon.
Home free.
"Anakin?"
Or not. The lights came on causing the Padawan to blink in the sudden brightness. "Yes, Master?"
Qui-Gon was seated on the overstuffed two-seater sofa and had obviously been dosing, waiting for Anakin to return. "Where have you been, Padawan?"
Numerous explicit phrases ran through Anakin's mind as he slammed down better, thicker shielding and thirty dozen excuses raced by. He couldn't lie. He shouldn't lie. But–
"I went to a parts specialist on the other side of Corusant and lost track of time. I'm sorry Master."
-He did anyway. The words came out like unwanted spots.
He couldn't go back now.
Why did they come out?
"It's nearly one in the morning, Anakin!"
"I know, Master, I'm really sorry. Once I realised the time I came right back –but it takes four hours."
Is my brain not connected to my mouth? Stop!
Qui-Gon rolled his head around his neck; that meant he was frustrated, a fact that Anakin knew all to well due to their many dealings with the Jedi Council.
"Did you not think to comm. me, Ani? Let me know you were going to be late? That you were safe?"
The last was said in desperation and it only served to make Anakin feel worse.
He bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Master, I really am. I didn't think –I just wanted to get home fast."
Qui-Gon nodded, seeming to accept his apologies and excuses. He waved a hand toward Anakin's bedroom, dismissing the Padawan for the night. Anakin gave no argument and heard his Master enter his own room not long after.
Despite getting away with it, Anakin couldn't sleep. Nor would a meditative trance come to him. He'd lost his centre at some point much earlier this evening and had yet to calm his thoughts enough to regain it.
Palpatine said he was one of the most powerful Jedi ever. With the best insight ever.
Anakin smiled. And then he remembered Qui-Gon's face not minutes earlier and the smile faded, guilt lodging back into its familiar place at the pit of his stomach. Sometimes it felt like he was being torn in two directions at once –between what Palpatine told him, promised him could be his, and what Qui-Gon and the Jedi believed. It was like being stretched further than was comfortable. And at other times, when his head felt clearer, he thought he would have to choose. Choose power and promises, or Jedi power and peace.
He really needed to meditate.
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A/N: A special thank you to the lurkers that came out of hiding ;) Reviews are very much appreciated and all are replied too (I apologise for the slowness it took this time!)
