ii.


He makes good use of some of the abilities that the Conqueror has taught him, enough so to make him land once more in Athlum the same day a few hours before midnight. No doubt the other warden is planning to do the same, for Rush is cognizant that the march has stopped just before fully engaging with Ghor, the first major city that will be attacked.

All in all, Rush is sure that he's more nervous about it than the Conqueror will ever be.

Still, it doesn't stop him from visiting the local pub once again, and the Barkeep is more than happy to see him.

"Give me, like, maybe ten mugs of your strongest drink." Rush says dryly the moment he enters. As expected, it's empty like the night before and so he slides into his favourite stool without fail, purposely banging his forehead upon the wood hard.

Immediately, the other fusses over him. "You're into that 'like' phase again, cutie?" He croons, but gently grasps and lifts Rush's head so as to steady him and he's truly grateful for the action. If not for the other's presence, it's likely he will have kept on banging his head upon the hard surface.

"Something like that." Rush remarks dryly, and accepts the drink poured for him, downing it immediately. He finishes it within three gulps flat. Refilling the mug once more, the other gives him a dubious expression.

"If you drink too much, you'll get sick." He chides even as Rush is going for a second helping already. A grin's already sloppily making it's way across youthful features, and he gestures the barkeep for more.

"Maybe. But then you'd be outta business." A laugh is pulled from the other at this, but Rush has to really try and look at him now for he really is a lightweight, he can't deny that at all. "Say, what's your name?" He strangely cannot recall whether he's asked this before.

"José, cutie." He winks, seemingly undaunted by the question, but there's a worried line pulling across his brow, though the cause is something else completely. "Anything else I can get for you before you drink yourself silly?"

"Not gonna ask me for my name back, huh?" Rush asks, though there's a smirk curving his lips.

José cocks his head. "Only if you're willing—you seemed like the mystery type, but should I be prodding?"

Rush considers. On one hand, he supposes he should be extra cautious with his identity. On the other hand, what's the harm?

… He really shouldn't jinx himself, should he?

"It's Rush." Alright, he hadn't meant to lean in and whisper but he supposes it's his drunkenness that's doing the acting for him. And he may have voluntarily raised a forefinger vertically to his lips and made a hushing sound towards the other, to which José giggles at in pure amusement. He doesn't give out his second name—people who don't have one don't necessarily have families, after all.

He wonders what family José has, but figures he'll ask him at a later date.

One step at a time. He tells himself, though what it is in regards to, he's not entirely sure.


The next two hours are incredibly blurry.

It's only up to the fifth drink he's downed that he can remember up to, but the rest is wholly forgotten. He can recall a lot of laughing and perhaps more than a few inappropriate touching that he would not have done ordinarily. The other guy behind the bar—the assistant maybe? Rush isn't too sure—had gotten involved at one point, and they even went together over to the corner where a noble had fallen asleep on the chair and pulled a prank. Even now, he can't really remember what they'd done to get the noble yelling obscenities at them and running out the pub altogether but it'd been hilarious, he's sure, especially if it involved a marker and a cup of warm water.

Still, the moment it hit around midnight he remembered, almost immediately, that he had an appointment to keep. Saying farewell to the two behind the bar (and emptying the better part of his coin bag, he's sure), he manages to stumble out of the pub, and is immediately buffeted with a wave of cold air. Nausea roils in his stomach then, but he wholly ignores it and stands for a moment upon the stone ground, attempting to ground himself once more. Strangely, the cold completely got rid of the drunkenness that assaulted him before, but it doesn't do the same wonders for the fact that he felt like puking up the entirety of his stomach.

Now, he walks up to the Valeria Heart, and is slightly disappointed to not see those shades of red and blue waiting for him.

"It's a stupid hope anyway." He mutters to himself, for it really is. Did he actually expect the Marquis of Athlum to be waiting for him, a stranger? Even after one tiny little meeting? It's ridiculous how much Rush truly wished for David to show up, and now he feels a little foolish.

"Maybe I'm just…" A sigh escapes him, and he shakes his head. Lonely? Desperate? He hasn't seen Roeas in ages and he has no doubt that she's locked in mortal combat somewhere down south as per the Conqueror's orders along with Castanea. The Conqueror himself… well, Rush only saw him just a few hours ago, and even that meeting hadn't gone well, in his own opinion. Before that, he hadn't seen the guy for the better part of a year. Apparently, the sentiment of missing him hadn't been returned at all.

José is perhaps one of the few friends Rush really has, along with a chick called Nora, whom he's seen wandering around the town and has met with—or rather bumped into—a few times, and each time Rush found the need to drag her into a conversation. Mostly because… well, it certainly mustn't be easy living with a Remnant inside of her.

… And that's it, really. Rush's face twists into a grimace. He hadn't really realized how much he's been lacking in company—he's really taken it for granted, especially when growing up in Veyriel. Now there—there he's had the pleasure of being with a lot of people, enjoying their company because in a backwater village like that, they have to stick together. Since the Conqueror's kicked him out to 'gain some experience', he has no idea what to do on the whole companionship front.

Without noticing it, he'd circled around to get closer to the Valeria Heart once more, seeking some kind of comfort. He doesn't necessarily want to climb over the short stone wall surrounding it again, just in case he gets caught somehow, like last time. Still, that doesn't deter the larger Remnant's presence. Already he can feel it's effect, wrapping around him like a soothing balm and there are soft croons of peace, of safety and security that Rush needs and he willingly moves into it, sighing as he sits on the ground.

"What do you think?" He asks the Valeria Heart aloud. "I mean, I know that I'm not… I'm not entirely Mitra but I thought I'd be able to make a lotta connections 'round here, whether or not they're Remnants. But… do I want friendship that much? Am I really that desperate for… a family?" A loud exhale escapes him, and he lies back onto the cold stone, resting his arms behind his head as a cushion. It's cold, but he finds that temperature tends not to affect him. "Maybe I… really should abandon Mitran concepts. Like what old Conky said. It'd save me a fair bit of heartache, I reckon." He gives a dry laugh, but starts at the prod that the Valeria Heart gives to him, a reprimand of sorts, as if disagreeing with what he's saying—no, he's sure that's what it's saying to him.

Sitting up again, he looks to the Valeria Heart, stretching up far above him and has to give a bemused expression towards it.

You're not trying hard enough. Or, at least, that's what it sounds like it's saying. There's disdain and encouragement rolled into one, and that's the only thing he can really think of.

"You think so?" He asks aloud, deciding to cement his interpretation, but settles back to lie down once more, contemplating it's words. Maybe the Valeria Heart is right—he really isn't trying hard enough. Should he put himself more out there? But then, that'd really go against what the Conqueror is warning him about. If he ever got caught and/or detained, then he's sure the guy wouldn't even bother trying to bust him out.

Still… is it worth the risk?

There's a mischievous feeling from the Valeria Heart, and he has to laugh aloud.

"Well, whatever you say. Or feel." A pause, before he gets up yet again and decides to jump over the stone wall once more, pressing his palm flat against the smooth stone surface and feeling the pulsating warmth there. "Thank you." He murmurs, and bows his head.

"You really are fond of the Valeria Heart, aren't you?" Soft footsteps and Rush recognizes that voice immediately, even the possessiveness that comes with the Remnant. Grinning to himself, he has to restrain from whooping at the other's appearance despite the more palpable, sour presence that came with it. He feels the Heart's encouragement nonetheless (and even feels it batting back Kellendros, which Rush is grateful for), and he clambers back over the stone wall once more, not relenting in his smile as he looks to David.

"It's helped me a lot already." He confesses, and cannot refrain from examining the other's features closely. Is it just him, or does David look more exhausted than last time? "What's up with you, though?" He cannot keep the worry out of his voice.

The other seems a little taken aback at such a question before he composes himself once more. "Meetings upon meetings." He replies dryly. "I apologize if I am late at all—the last one took an hour more than it was supposed to."

"Woah, I didn't think you'd be that busy. At least, not 'till this time of night." Rush leans forward slightly. "You ever heard of a thing called a 'vacation'?"

A laugh ensues from the Marquis, and the smile remains even as he shakes his head. "No, I'm afraid I haven't. Not for at least a year."

Rush whistles. "You need to take a break, man. I know you love your city but you must be super tired." There's a small wave of his arms so as to emphasis his concerns.

If anything, David seems to be more amused by Rush's antics than taking the idea into consideration. "Perhaps. But I doubt I will have the opportunity to do so any time soon." The smile fades, and his eyes becoming a little more fixated upon Rush. "Have you heard of the Sykes daughter's kidnapping? And the Conqueror?"

Crap.

Rush isn't a good liar. He knows this fully but he cannot entirely run from this conversation. This is what he gets for trying to befriend the Marquis of Athlum, he guesses.

From the side, he feels another wave of mischief from the Valeria Heart, and he has to restrain from casting a glare at it.

"Sorta." He settles for a less dangerous option, a more open-ended one. A hand rises to the back of his head, and he rubs it awkwardly, feeling his eyes avert from such an intense gaze already despite the fact he hasn't even started lying yet. "What about it?"

To his relief, David starts to pace which breaks whatever remaining eye contact there was between them (however one-sided it was). He decides to lift his vision once more, if only to watch how he moves. "The Conqueror's army and Ghor's own troops are locked in a stalemate. Currently, there are heavy debates on whether or not Nagapur should send reinforcements."

Rush tries his best to follow. "Why are they even debating? Isn't the Conqueror a threat to them too?"

A thin smile spreads across David's lips now, and he finally stops. Thankfully, he directs his gaze to the Valeria Heart as he answers him. "Unfortunately, Duke Hermeien is rather stubborn. He believes that if Ghor delays the Conqueror enough, he'll be able to build sufficient defences to withstand any attack the Conqueror makes. If he decides to aid the Duke of Ghor, he will have to send the majority of his troops to make a lasting dent in the enemy's army. However, on the off-chance that things go wrong and Ghor falls, then Nagapur will be next, most likely, and since the troops that have been sent to defend Ghor are gone in that initial assault, Nagapur will be left mostly defenceless and they are liable to being taken if the Conqueror so chooses that to be his next move."

I, Rush thinks with a staggeringly large amount of relief, am so glad I'm not the Conqueror. It sounds like far too much work, and to be responsible for that amount of people… Rush doesn't think he's entirely ready for that yet. How does David even manage?

"What… what about Celapaleis? Or even you? Can't you guys send troops?" He asks, and really hopes he's not sounding ignorant.

Thankfully, David doesn't look irritated at his words. "Celapaleis is too far to send troops. The time they would take to get to Ghor would be long enough for the Conqueror to find out and launch his assault early. " He lifts a hand and runs it through golden tresses, shaking the stress out. "As for myself… I would go, but I have been personally asked a favour by someone in high-standing. I would be a fool to decline. Yet, neither will I risk Athlum to the mercy of the Conqueror in my absence, so I would leave all my troops here."

"A… personal favour?" Rush asks, oblivious to how forward the request to know may be but David does not seem to mind too much. He has a feeling, but…

"Indeed." David answers shortly, and pauses for a full moment, long enough for Rush to awkwardly wonder whether he'll actually tell him what this favour is. As he's debating whether or not to excuse himself for the night, the Marquis finally continues, looking to Rush once more, and the Mitran Remnant finds he cannot avert his eyes this time. "Marina Sykes happens to be a good friend of one of my Generals, Emma Honeywell." Rush's throat tightens up inexplicably, and he can already tell where this is going. He almost wishes he can disappear into the ground right about now.

David continues, oblivious to his inward distress. "She has personally asked for us to find her daughter Irina. It is a… rather large responsibility, I must admit, for if I fail, then it means I fail Athlum."

Of course.

Rush is incredibly grateful when David turns away from him, for he really cannot help the sudden burst of light that flares from his eyes, cognizant of this because of the sudden power that flares up in response to his anger. Fists clench excruciatingly hard and he has to force himself to breathe deeply and calmly so as to not lash out. It isn't entirely David's fault, but he is right there for Rush to yell obscenities at. However, Rush will not let himself reduce to that, and so he painfully forces himself to keep a peaceful façade, no matter how much he wishes to rage at the fact that Irina, once more, is taking the things he enjoys from his life. As if their parents weren't enough, but now David? A possible friend when Irina probably had hundreds of them?

He can imagine, then, the lack of effort the Sykes went through to try and find him when he went missing. But when Irina goes missing, oh, they have to call the leader of a city to do it for them. They decide to use their status and resources to do it and did they even do that for Rush?

Some part of Rush is ashamed that he still even bears this grudge. Despite everything, he still loves his parents with his very being, and to an extent, he may even love Irina. But right now… there's this seething mass of hatred for them, stronger than whatever love lingers, and it's hard to even look past that to the reason that may lie beyond.

"Why are you telling me this?" Rush wonders aloud through numb lips, and he winces inwardly at how dead his tone currently sounds.

Apparently, David doesn't notice, his gaze fixated upon the vast streak of stone extending to the clouds. He doesn't say anything for a full moment, and Rush is starting to get used to these periods of silence. However, what the Marquis does decide to say completely floors him.

"I want you to come with me."

It takes all of Rush's willpower not to gape as David turns back to him once more, but even that willpower isn't enough to stop his jaw from dropping from sheer shock at the unexpected offer. "W-what?!"

David looks vaguely amused at Rush's reaction, but it quickly fades as seriousness takes his tongue once more. "You did not hear me incorrectly. I want you to join me."

Already, Rush has several ideas on the flaws of that very notion. "But-But we've hardly even known each other for more than a day!" His tone is beyond incredulous. "Maybe like less than an hour, actually."

At this, David laughs. "On the contrary, we've now known each other for an hour and fifteen minutes."

Rush has to gawk. Again. "That's still less than a day."

The other tilts his head slightly. "Are you not a mercenary?" At Rush's prolonged, confused stare he has to chuckle. "I am the Marquis of Athlum. I know who comes in and out of my city, and I know every resident from the most elderly to the newborns. The newcomers are almost always mercenaries, looking to be hired at the Union." He frowns then, reconsidering Rush now. "Unless… you travel here occasionally because you merely feel like it?"

Rush feels strangely defensive all of a sudden. It's not like that's… bad, right? "So what if I do?" He asks, slightly miffed.

It's David's turn to look surprised. "But… there's an increase in monster activity—not many people travel because they feel the need to."

Ah, crap. There goes the credibility in saying he can't actually fight as an excuse not to join him. "I… just like to wander?" He says lamely, rising a hand to the nape of his neck to rub at it awkwardly. It's not exactly a lie.

"No matter." David says, and he holds out his hand, a warm smile upon his features now. "Will you join me? I still do not know your name but… you have the experience, I can tell. I am willing to offer any amount of gold, if you'll take it."

Rush hesitates.

On one hand, it'll be good to make connections, to not be alone. Companionship is something he's been looking for, after all, and he can feel the Valeria Heart nudging him in approval of this train of thought. On the other hand, however…

There are far too many risks to be had. Firstly, he'll be going against the Conqueror, someone he should be helping. Secondly, he's told Rush to stand down, to keep it on the down low so as to not be discovered and while it kills Rush to do that, he can see the sense in it. And thirdly… thirdly

No. He'll not be helping Irina. He'll be damned before he ever does that.

The Valeria Heart wails it's dismay in his mind, and the contentment is broken in both it and him for a moment. It seems to have affected David as well, for his smile begins to fade. As much as Rush wishes to bring it back, every sense he possesses screams at him to leave now because he cannot afford get any deeper in this than he already has.

"Sorry." He mutters, averting his gaze down as he steps back. "I just… can't." Maybe in another life, he would have taken that offer, if it ever came down to it. Now, however, there's far too much at stake, for himself and especially the Conqueror. He curses himself as David nods, lowering his hand. He's a good guy. Unfortunately, they'll probably have to fight each other somewhere down the road, because if David's getting involved with Irina, then it's likely that Rush will have to step in at some point.

"I understand." David says with measured grace, and the smile upon his lips seems thinner now, less warm. "I apologize for springing that onto you so suddenly. I will take my leave now, if there's nothing more to discuss."

Discuss. Apparently, David thought this was some kinda business deal and that they actually agreed to meet here so as to sort out something between them, not just as friends. Or maybe Rush has lured him into thinking that way. Or maybe David's way too hurt to admit that…?

Rush forcibly shakes himself inwardly. Now he's just getting carried away. Who is he to assume anything about the Marquis?

Still, David's walking away. David's walking away and there's nothing present upon Rush's tongue to ask him to come back so maybe they can just talk or chat but he's sure the other has some pressing matters to attend to, like sleeping for instance because Rush is sure he'll be heading out once more in a few hours to pursue Irina and…

The Valeria Heart pushes him.

Stumbling slightly, Rush manages to speak through trembling lips, actually surprised he's able to speak at all. "Hey, uh, Dave!" There's relief blossoming in him when the other pauses and half-turns to listen. "Can… can we meet up here again later? I mean, when you're done with your favour and all. I'd like to… talk with you some more, if that's okay." He says awkwardly, and his heart is beating so damn fast that he has to hold his breath, hoping it isn't loud in the silence of the town square. When David doesn't answer in a while, he starts to panic. Already he's lost a potential friend. It's a sign that maybe he shouldn't pursue any companionship after this; maybe he should become a hermit and just live on his own until he awakens or something-!

"I would like that." David says finally, and Rush almost collapses in relief. "Perhaps within three days? I imagine I'll be finished with my task by then."

"Yeah!" Rush says, and feels embarrassed when he hears that his voice is just a little higher than usual from the flood of emotion. Clearing his throat hurriedly, he nods his head despite the fact that David cannot see it. "Yeah, I'll be here." And maybe an incentive? A smirk curves his lips as he mentions it. "And if you're here as well, then I'll definitely tell you my name."

He can almost feel the smile upon David's face, and he wants to just die from how much tension he's wracked by from this. "Agreed." The Marquis answers simply, and starts to walk off once more, a hand waving idly back. "I will see you in a few days' time then."

When David finally disappears, Rush casually just collapses in a heap to the ground. Peeking up at the Valeria Heart, he both wants to thank and curse it.

As if in response, the Remnant merely tingles with glee.


For the next few days, Rush does absolutely nothing towards the twilight hours of the day.

The first two nights are spent drinking himself senseless in the pub until the early hours of the morning. Not so ace, considering he's now being a complete bum. He can't exactly recall the last time he's had a bath, and he must smell really bad if José actually couldn't bear speaking to him on the second night. He decides to leave the pub early and maybe rent a room at the local inn so as to get a proper cleaning.

What he doesn't expect to see—or rather, who—is…

"Roeas?!" He's halfway through pulling his top off before he even realises the woman is there, standing beside the doorway like some creeper and he has half a mind to tell her that before she raises a finger to her lips. Quieting down, he moves to lock the door before reluctantly putting his shirt back on and flopping on the bed.

"I hope you do not treat every woman who enters your room this way." She begins dryly, and moves over to sit next to him, crossing her legs and Rush is incredibly aware of how much skin she's currently revealing with her clothing. While he's gotten used to it, he's still not entirely comfortable sitting near her or being anywhere near her while she's in that outfit. Looking down her nose at him-which is wrinkling rather violently now-she continues with rising disgust. "Then again, I imagine no one will want to enter considering how atrocious you smell."

"Yeah, yeah." Rush waves her off with a hand before getting up once more, noting in amusement when she leans back so as to escape whatever stench he's putting off. "Lemme get washed first, alright? Then we can talk 'bout why the heck you're even here."

Roeas snorts at this, but allows him to do as he wants, deciding to settle on the bed with ease as he quickly shuts himself in the adjacent bathroom. Not wanting to take too long, he quickly strips and bathes, finally emerging from the room to find Roeas has completely disappeared. For a moment, he stands in complete confusion because she can't have possibly decided to ditch him right after seeing him? He'll admit that he's really missed her, despite her unexpected presence and there's a sinking feeling in his gut at the thought that maybe she's left once more.

"Afraid, boy?" Almost immediately, Rush stumbles in shock as she appears right before him, smirking with a hand on her hip. Losing his balance from the sheer surprise garnered from her trick, he falls back on his rear, a yelp accompanying his fall. As he regains his senses, it takes a moment for him to realise she is laughing at him—albeit in that imperious way she's adopted—and another moment to realise that she's offering out her hand for him to take.

Slowly starting to grin, he clasps her hand and she hauls him up with more strength than he expects and he's almost sent careening down to the ground again before she steadies him with a hard hand to his chest. There's a moment's pause before Rush decides to just go for the desire twinkling in the back of his head—Roeas can murder him later.

Wrapping his arms fully around the woman, he buries his face into her shoulder and smells sweat and the acrid burn of Mystic Arts, the telltale signs of battle but he doesn't care. He really has missed her and he's not ashamed to show that. To his surprise, Roeas doesn't throw him off straight away, but instead he feels the pressure of her hand on his head and he's sorely content at that, glad he finally has contact with a childhood friend, of sorts.

Just when he thinks she'll actually let them stay like this, she moves away, straightening her one bang in feigned contempt. "Do not mention that to anyone, boy." She says in disdain, and Rush has to snicker in response.

"Aw, c'mon, I can't be the only one to miss everyone! Even old Conky was all… stiff and I haven't seen him way longer than you and Castanea—" At the reminder, he looks around before realising that the big guy probably wouldn't be able to fit in this small room. "Where is he, anyway? Aren't you guys joined at the hip?" Almost literally maybe, because he always sees them together and he's teased Castanea on the side about liking Roeas to which he mostly grunts back in response, obviously not amused at the prospect. Still, Rush can't really think of anyone else who'd be perfect for Roeas.

Or maybe, he's just entertaining these types of notions too much.

You would do well to cast aside those Mitran concepts

Shucks.

"He is marching to Elysion, posing as the Conqueror." She responds, seemingly expecting such a question; Rush himself has no idea of that part of the plan—this is ultimately news to him, but he can see why Castanea can masquerade as the Conqueror. Still, weren't they about to assault Ghor? Or is that another plan Rush isn't allowed to know about? He decides not to even say anything, certain he'll just get no answers anyway. Roeas returns to her post by the bed, sitting down once more and crossing her legs. Similarly, Rush decides to just plop down on the chair by the entrance, guessing that there's gonna be some kind of talk coming now.

"Rush." Roeas starts slow, and he feels like he's in some sorta therapy session. "The Conqueror told me to speak to you."

Here it comes. He cannot help a sour expression.

"He's aware of your… daily visits to Athlum, and he certainly doesn't care whether you drink your face off each night." She says this with such a brisk tone, and Rush has a feeling as to where this is going. "However, it's come to his attention that you've begun… fraternizing with the Marquis."

Bingo.

"Rush." She leans forward in her makeshift seat, eyes intent upon his own and he squirms uncomfortably. "What are you intending to do with such a relationship?"

And that isn't something he expects. "W-what?" What exactly are they thinking?

"I mean," A drawl enters her tone now. "Are you intending to use your relations with the Marquis to your advantage? Are you intending to find out certain information to use against them in the future?" A cock of her head, but at Rush's prolonged, shocked silence, her lips thin, seraphic features now hardening. "Surely you aren't trying to make friends." There's a dry twitch to her mouth now. "You know that is not your duty."

"So what if I am?" He says defensively, crossing his arms. Is it really that bad? "So what if every little thing I do isn't actually related to my duty-!"

Suddenly, there is keen steel at his throat.

Roeas is in front of him now, standing to the side of him and he's unsure whether or not she actually teleported to get there. The fact remains, however, that she's actually holding a knife to his throat and he has honestly no idea how to react. On one hand, he's certain she won't actually kill him but on the other…

Well, anything for the Conqueror.

His teeth clench together, but he makes no move to defend himself. He absolutely refuses to hurt her, even if she wants to hurt him or even kill him. Maybe it's a little foolish of him, but perhaps they'll never understand how much he actually considers them all as a family.

"My Lord Conqueror instructed me to kill you should you ever say anything along those lines." She murmurs into his ear, and he has to shudder at the promise within them, not at all a mere threat. She intends to go through with such a command, and he tenses, waiting for some impact before blood begins spilling across the floor and really, he knows he should have expected this, knows that the Conqueror would have eventually gotten sick of him but to do so in this kinda matter, it isn't exactly nice, really—!

Roeas slips her knife away once more.

She steps back, and there is a haughty smirk upon her lips as Rush lets out a loud, harsh gasp, a hand automatically reaching up to his throat to feel for any wound. Shaking her head, there's disdain clear within her tone. "Wrong move, boy. You're to fight for your life, not give up at a moment's notice."

"But… but I—" Ah, crap, he already feels a slight sheen prickling at his eyes and he blinks rapidly so as to calm himself. No wonder he hasn't been put on the field yet, despite how much he actually wants to be.

"Disregard any of our concepts of love. Disregard any and all thoughts and desires for family, for a place to belong." Roeas tells him coldly now, and she turns away from him. "You are not a Mitra, you are a Remnant. You have to awaken."

Suddenly, there's a flare of anger at those words and he gets up, arms furiously gesturing as if to emphasize his points. "But that's not me! I haven't awakened yet, I feel—I want a family. I want people to lean on, I'm just like a Mitra, whether you guys like it or not! I can't get rid of it—I don't know how to!" The frustration is steadily taking over his mind and as much as he wants to live up to their standards of being some kind of ultimate warden he really can't. "All my life—all the years spent with you guys are the best I've ever had. I didn't want war; I didn't want to grow into my duty—whatever that was! I was happy. Why did that have to change?!" Maybe it's a tantrum he's kept within for so long but it felt good to let it out, even if it isn't at the right person but at least she'll be able to understand, right?!

For a moment, he expects Roeas to slap him. Actually, he expects her to punch him then just stab him like originally intended. What she does instead, however, surprises him.

She stares at him for a long while, enough to make him fidget for he cannot even begin to place her expression. Lips part, and she looks as if she's about to say something but she pauses again and he has to wonder what to do now, unwilling to interrupt whatever train of thought she's on.

When she finally moves, she takes his hand, holding it in both of her own. Kneeling before Rush, there's now a pensive frown upon her features, and she looks down at his palm, studying it with the intensity of a soldier before a war plan. "You do not remember, then, truly." She says plainly. Rush is half-relieved that she speaks at all but it's ever so vague that he almost snaps at her.

"What-?" He begins, exasperated, but she quiets him with a piercing look.

"You're scared." She's as vague as ever but there's a strange chord struck inside him, one that resonates despite being so weak and—it fades not a moment later. Confusion blossoms within him, but she doesn't give him an answer. Standing, she lets go of his hand before moving away once more.

"I will tell the Conqueror that you are not well." She says smoothly, and reaches for the helmet set previous unnoticed upon the bedside table. It hasn't really registered with him at all but she had her helmet off the whole time. Maybe he's just way too used to seeing her without one at all. "When he appears again, do not be empty-handed."

"What do you mea-?" He breaks off mid-sentence, already half-reaching out for her but she's gone within an instant, her teleportation rather handy in this case. Groaning to himself, he flops onto the bed, rolling to stuff his face into the pillow.

-And he screams.

Ultimately, it's muffled but he repeatedly punches the mattress on either side of his head with his fists, even going so far as to awkwardly kick at the bed as well. He can't help it—he doesn't know what to do or even say in this kinda situation. The one person he'll ever want to vent to just teleported right out of his room and if he chose to go to anyone else, any other friend, it'll only be incredibly risky. No, the only real option is to try and just… deal with it. He's not sure how he'll be able to, considering the need to blurt all his troubles out, to seek comfort and guidance somehow but—

But…

In the end, he just lies there. He doesn't even have the energy to scream anymore.

Just what the hell am I supposed to do?!


A/N: I know there's a lot of dialogue but... okay ther'es no real reason for it other than interactions but! the plot of this will thicken in a few chapters or so so please bear with me! Lemme know what y'all think in reviews if you enjoyed it! Either way, the next chapter should come out soon since I've already written it and such lkajsf. Have a lovely day/night!