Author's Note: No, I didn't suddenly switch stories. I know I said this would be Kiliel, but it seems to have become almost as much about Fiili being king and Fili and Kili being brothers as it is about Kili and Tauriel. But hey, the world needs more of that anyway. ;)
Chapter 3
I would be king.
King of Erebor.
King Under the Mountain.
Fili paced from one side of his chamber to the other, unable to calm the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that raced through his mind. It had been three days now—three days since he had received the news of his uncle's death, and the terrible finality of it had yet to settle in his mind. He remembered nearly nothing of the battle or its aftermath—some blurry images of the orcs rushing towards them, he was lying in a tent, had he seen an elf taking care of him? How strange. But the memories faded fast, and the only thing he knew was that they were all alive. All save his uncle. Kili had barely lived, they told him. He was almost glad he had been unconscious all that time. He would have worried about his brother.
He sat down, running his fingers through his mustache and beard, both of which were tangled an unkempt from three days of worry and sleepless nights of indecision. Should he take his rightful place as king or pass the role off to another? He was too young. He didn't know how to govern a kingdom. He didn't want to sit upon the throne Thorin would have sat upon. He didn't want to take his uncle's place. He swallowed back a lump that rose in his throat. What would he do without Thorin there to guide him? More importantly, what would Kili do? Young, reckless, irresponsible Kili. Kili needed Thorin.
Fili needed Thorin.
Fili stood and began to pace again. He had been scolded for spending too much time alone, for not seeking comfort and advice from those who could help him—but he needed to be alone. He had to make this decision alone. The thought of being king overwhelmed him. Dain was here. Dain would be a good king.
Hearing a noise at the doorway, he glanced up. Kili stood there, leaning against the stone doorpost, looking pale, not entirely stable, and very happy to be here. Glad of a distraction, Fili ran forward and threw his arms around his brother, patting him on the back. "Kili! It's good to see you on your feet."
Fili thought he saw just a hint of a smile on his brother's face. "I'm not really supposed to be," Kili said. "But Oin couldn't watch me every minute of the day!"
For the first time in the last three days, Fili found himself smiling—a small smile, and a reluctant one, but a smile nonetheless. He could always count on his brother to bring a smile to his face, even in these dark times. "He'll be terribly worried when he comes back and finds you gone." He couldn't keep the hint of mischief out of his voice.
"Oh, I'm sure he expected it," Kili shot back with a grin. "It's not like he doesn't know me." Then the smile faded slowly from his face and he looked at his brother, earnestness and an almost childlike innocence stamped on his features. "What are we going to do, Fili?" he asked.
Fili felt a pang of regret. Kili trusted him so. Could he be the strong one, for his brother's sake? "I don't know," he finally said. "But we'll get through this. We'll rebuild the kingdom and bring happiness and prosperity back to these halls." He slid an arm around his brother's shoulders and led him to a chair, gently helping him sit down. Kili was still too pale.
"Will you be king, Fili?" Kili asked the question Fili had been dreading. Fili turned away, not wanting his little brother who looked up to him to see the struggle playing across his features. "It's your rightful place," Kili said, trying to make Fili turn around and look at him. His natural enthusiasm began to get the better of him, and a small smile spread across his face. "Just think, Fili, ruler of all this!" He swept his arm around the room in an all-encompassing gesture.
"But that's just it, Kili." Fili shook his head. "I don't want to be ruler of 'all this'. I'm afraid of all this wealth, I don't like it and I don't want it. I'm afraid it will affect me like it…like it affected Thorin." His voice broke and he turned away again. How could he possibly be the leader he needed to be? How could he possibly take Thorin's place? He felt Kili's hand on his arm and turned.
"I'll be there for you." Kili looked earnestly up at his brother. He bit his lip, and stopped for a moment. "I'll always be there for you." He no longer smiled, but his dark eyes were filled with determination. He squeezed his brother's arm. He was the comforter now. Fili closed his eyes for a moment and let the grief he felt for Thorin wash over him.
"We'll get through this." Fili saw that Kili too was blinking back tears. He laid his head on Fili's arm and bit his lip again. "T…together," he managed to say. "It'll all be fine, won't it, Fili?"
"Yes. It'll be fine." Fili didn't trust himself to say more for a moment, only put an arm around his brother's shoulders. "We'll get through this," he finally said. "Together."
"He was gone, I tell you! Just gone. The lad'll be the death of himself, he will." Oin shook his head dolefully. "I tell him he's still too sick to get up, and what does he do? He leaves the minute I take my eyes off him. Reckless, foolhardy boy." Oin leaned back and looked at the cieling, his expression that of a long suffering, seldom obeyed parent. "This is what a doctor has to go through in life, lads," he said.
A couple of chuckles rippled around the table, and then there were silence again.
"Well lads," Gloin spoke up after a moment, "any more news about this business of kingship?"
"Has he made his decision, then?" Ori cried, stepping into the room just in time to catch the last of the older dwarf's words.
"Not that I know of," Balin said with a shake of his head. "I would be the last to force him. We all know Dain would be a fine king."
There was silence in the room once again. A few of the dwarves looked away, clearly remembering their fallen leader. There was a sound of footsteps in the hallway and every head turned as Fili entered the room, his face serious and a purpose in his step. There was an air of regality about him, and the other dwarves found themselves rising to their feet in honor of their prince.
"I have made my decision," Fili said. "I will take my rightful place as king."
The ceremony was a simple one, made somber by the recent events. Fili stood before the throne, looking out at the crowd of dwarves before him. There were so many of them—and more to come. His kingdom would be large. Dwarves would come from all corners of Middle-Earth to rebuild the kingdom of Erebor. And over all this, he would be king. Dressed in the robes of royalty, he felt odd and not at all like himself. No longer was he the carefree prince-to-be—he was king. It was a strange feeling, and one he wasn't sure he liked.
As the oldest and wisest of the company and unofficial minister, Balin held the crown. The many dwarves stood in silence, paying honor and respect to their new king. Fili spoke the ancient words of promise, vowing in the dwarven tongue to protect and to always do what was best for his kingdom, to serve his people, and to be faithful to his position to the end. Balin placed the crown on his head, and he ascended to the throne.
"Long live the king!" The echoes of the shout lingered long about the hall. Fili stood by the throne, somehow unwilling to take his seat. "Long live King Fili, King under the mountain!" the people shouted again, and Fili saw Kili standing near the front, his dark eyes filled with earnestness, obviously trying as hard as he could to smile for his brother. Fili couldn't help smiling back. Somehow his little brother's presence always seemed to bring a smile to his face, even in times like these.
Another cheer rippled through the people, and then somber silence seemed to reign. Fili bowed his head.
"My people," he finally said, forming the words carefully in his mind. "I have very few words to say on this occasion." He paused. "I can only say that I will try my best to fill the place of one whose crown I am barely worthy to bear. My uncle, my friend, my king." His voice broke, and he looked away. "I will try my best to bring life and happiness back to these dead halls. I will try to be the king my Uncle Thorin would have been." He tried to smile. "Now let us have a feast, and let us raise a glass in honor of our fallen leader. And let us celebrate the future of Erebor!" A cheer went up from the people, and Fili finally found himself ascending and sitting on the throne. As he looked out over the sea of faces in front of him, he found himself vowing silently to do just what he had said—to bring life and happiness back to these halls in spite of all.
"So you're king now." The people had filtered out of the hall and only Fili and Kili were left how, Kili standing by the throne.
"Yes. I'm king now." Fili found that he didn't know quite what else to say.
"You're king now." Kili didn't smile as much this time, and he looked up at his brother with something like awe on his face. "I can hardly believe it."
"Oh, don't! Please don't." Fili stepped down from the throne and put his arm around Kili's shoulders, practically shaking him. "You're my little brother, do you understand? You're not my subject, and you never will be. You'll always be my little brother."
"And you'll always be my big brother." Kili smiled slightly, and this time it was a real smile, not a forced one. "And I'll always look up to you, whether you're king or not."
Taking hold of his crown, Fili lifted it from his head and set it on the throne. With a gentle smile, he squeezed Kili's shoulders, pulling him closer. "We'll always be brothers."
Whoa there. I literally almost cried reading over this again. I guess if the author can make herself cry, I've been successful, hmm?
