Don't Leave Me This Way Chapter 3
By phaedraphelan
Summary: How does this change in their lives affect them as Sherlock recovers from his relapse?
Disclaimer: Elementary is the artistic property of CBS and no infringement is intended.
Sherlock and Joan were elated at finding out that Joan had conceived. For the first few days they just lay in bed most of the time, talking intimately, trying to come to terms with the impending event in their lines. Joan had not yet visited an OB/GYN but the fact of the pregnancy made itself more and more evident in her body. When Joan's period did not arrive on schedule, that was the final conclusive evidence.
Sherlock wakened Joan on the day her period was due with a gentle kiss and hug.
"So that lovely perfect timekeeper in your ovaries has given its final answer, Joan."
"I am so very pregnant, Sherlock. Even though it is so early, I feel so full."
Sherlock drew Joan over onto his chest and smoothed her hair back from her face as he tenderly kissed her face over and over again.
"I love you so, Joan. I feel that I must tell you again and again. Seeing you and knowing what is going on in your belly simply overwhelms me."
Joan smiled at Sherlock, that secret satisfied smile that Sherlock had seen several times since she found herself pregnant by him.
"What are you thinking when you smile like that, luv," Sherlock asked softly.
"I was wondering why having your baby growing in me makes me feel so powerful as a woman."
"It's because that is your power. You are carrying my seed. I gave it to you, but you took it and you will nurture it inside you and bring it to birth and put it in my arms. That is your woman's power, luv."
Sherlock kissed Joan's breasts very tenderly, aware of their sensitivity in her pregnant state, and then he kissed her belly over and over as Joan ran her hands through his chestnut locks.
"Let's go to the courthouse and get a marriage license so that we can get married, Joan. I want you as my wife. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known and you have completely conquered me and made me a believer in monogamy. Please marry me, woman."
"Sherlock. . . Oh, Sherlock," Joan murmured softly as they lost themselves in each other again.
"Please say yes to me. I know my deficits, that I have many, but I beg you to accept me." Sherlock's eyes were full of tears and they ran down onto Joan's belly as he pleaded with her to marry him.
"Yes . . . Yes, Sherlock, I will. I will marry you."
Sherlock lifted his head from Joan's belly and their lips met in a kiss that began gently and then quickly became passionate as Sherlock's mouth searched Joan's, opened it and possessed it in that unique way that was his alone and they both moaned as the surge of desire captured them and brought them together again in intercourse. The sensation of him stretching her open and sinking into the deepest part of her caused them to both gasp and groan.
"Oh, God, God! Yes, I . . . I love you, Joan . . . so much!" Sherlock cried out. "Woman! Woman! Please believe in me! Please!"
"Sherlock, I do. I do believe in you. Oh, Sherlock!"
They made love in tears, both of them till they came to climax together, their bodies vibrating and trembling as the moment of ecstasy seized them both together.
"Luv! Luv!" Sherlock cried out loud as his release came.
"Sherlock . . . Sherlock," Joan wailed as her body melted in Sherlock's arms as she let go in capitulation, surrendering to Sherlock. "You fill me so! You fill me so . . . so deep inside me! Hold me, Sherlock!"
Joan had an appointment with her doctor that morning and Sherlock insisted on accompanying her. Dr. Janet Winslow had been a classmate of Joan's in medical school and had been happy to accommodate her in spite of her busy practice. As they sat in the waiting room with other women and two other couples in various stages of pregnancy, Sherlock and Joan began to see the reality of where they had come in their relationship.
Sherlock accompanied Joan into the examining room and watched with interest as the doctor put Joan into stirrups and proceeded to make her examination.
"Well, my dear Joan, you are certainly pregnant, just a few weeks, but your uterus is already enlarged. Have you had any morning sickness?"
"Not yet, but I know to expect it."
"Yes, it will last for just a few weeks hopefully, but it goes along with most healthy pregnancies. After it ends, you will feel very good, very healthy, and you will be looking for this fellow here to attend to your heightened needs." Janet looked at Sherlock and smiled slightly.
"Joan, you are forty and in your first pregnancy, so we must watch you very carefully. But you are in great health and should do well."
Sherlock and Joan took their leave from the doctor and later that same day they made their way to downtown Manhattan and obtained a marriage license. Sherlock held Joan's hand or touched her in some way throughout the whole process and it was touching to see them together, so obviously in love and needing to be together. It meant so much more to Joan because she knew that all of this represented a 180 degree change in Sherlock's view of marriage.
They left the courthouse holding hands seeing only the brilliant sunshine and the joy in each other's eyes. Sherlock took Joan up to the diamond district on 47th Street because he wanted to put a ring on her finger.
"I don't need a ring, Sherlock."
"I do. I want everyone to know that you are my woman. . . now and for always."
Sherlock bent and kissed her standing on the street in Manhattan with people passing by on either side of them and then they hailed a taxi to the diamond district where Sherlock took her to a Jewish merchant he had done detective work for in the past. There he picked out a stunning full carat brown diamond engagement ring and placed it on her finger right there in the store and then kissed Joan full on her lips.
"Let's get married quietly, Sherlock. It's only important to you and me right now. We can let our families know later, can't we?"
"Whatever you want, luv. I just want to claim you and what you are carrying as mine. Whatever may happen to me through accident or mere stupidity on my part you and my child will be cared for. This will be my father's heir with every full legal standing. I'm not the ideal marriage prospect, but I love you and I want this taken care of."
Sherlock caught his arm around Joan and kissed her soft cheek and led her back into the street where they took a taxi back to Brooklyn, sitting as close as possible, touching and caressing, trying to maintain some degree of composure because it was still day.
"You know that I do not believe in organized religion so I would like to just go back to City Hall on Monday and get married there. Would that please you?"
Joan nodded in acceptance of his idea and snuggled under his arm, contented.
When Monday rolled around, they got up and dressed and prepared to go to City Hall. Just as they were preparing to leave Tommy Gregson and Marcus Bell came by unexpectedly to see how they were doing in the aftermath of Sherlock's relapse. It had been five weeks since Joan and Marcus had brought him back home from that terrible experience with Oscar.
"Come in, Captain . . . Detective Bell, we were just leaving."
"We just wanted to see how you two were doing. Didn't know whether you are feeling like doing some consulting, Sherlock," Gregson said.
"Yes, I think that we probably are ready to take some cases. Actually we were just going to City Hall to get married. Perhaps you would like to come along."
Gregson and Bell were stunned for a moment and then they clapped Sherlock on his shoulders and hugged Joan in congratulations.
"We had no idea!"
"We weren't going to tell anyone right now, but you are the logical ones to tell. Just keep it under your hat. Come along now!"
So that is how Tommy Gregson and Marcus Bell stood with Sherlock and Joan as they took their marriage vows. Neither of them had ever seen Sherlock so emotional as when he said those vows. And when he lifted Joan's hands to his lips and kissed them and then kissed her lips tenderly to seal their vows, it was clear that what they had suspected all along was true. Sherlock and Joan were deeply in love.
They insisted on taking the newly weds to Peter Luger's afterward for a fabulous steak dinner to celebrate and then they took them back to the brownstone to begin their married life together.
"Well, Cap'n, what do you make of that?" Marcus said as they walked back to their car.
"I think they have been headed to this point for a long time. I wish them the best, but I know it's going to be tough for her living with Sherlock some of the time."
"When he relapsed and she held him the way she did, calling him her baby and all, I knew then that she really loved him. Joan was so devastated . . . when she saw him. He was a broken man, a mess, all exposed and filthy and she just pulled his clothes up on him, covered him up and held him in her arms. Man, I've never seen anything like that. He is always so buttoned up, you know. But seeing a man like Sherlock undone like that . . . practically naked . . . his dignity all blown away, was shocking. And he is quite an unusual male specimen, if you know what I mean . . . all hard muscle and tattoos and hung like an elephant, reduced to such a pitiful state, crying in his woman's arms."
"Well, at least we don't have to wonder if he can take care of her along those lines, Marcus," Gregson said with a chuckle. "Life is a strange thing, isn't it? Sherlock always said he didn't believe in marriage or even monogamy. And now?"
"He was so caught up in her when they were taking those vows. It was obviously a serious moment for both of them." Marcus paused. "Do you think she's pregnant? She kind of had that glow pregnant women have."
"Well, if that is the case, we will know sooner rather than later," Gregson said sagely as they drove back to the precinct.
Back at the brownstone, for the first time Sherlock picked Joan up and carried her over the threshold into the house and straight into their bedroom where he carefully undressed her and then undressed himself, lay down beside her and took her into his arms.
"I want you to know, Joan, that although I am unwavering in my belief in the hypocrisy of religion, our relationship has made me seriously doubt my atheism. And the knowledge that you are carrying our child has only made me incredibly thankful to whomever is responsible for our present state. You are m-my beautiful wife. I-I have married you because I love you more than anyone else in the world, and I am just incredibly grateful that you accepted me. I never want to forget this first time we make love as a married couple."
"I will always love you, Sherlock. You are my husband and we belong to each other now."
"For the first time in our lives we are going to have coitus and it will not be fornication. Please let's just accept me, luv, and know that I take nothing for granted. I am so in love with you. I need you so much that I can hardly wait from one opportunity to the next to be with you, Joan."
Sherlock began to search Joan's mouth with kiss after kiss. And then he began to weep as the kiss deepened into the passionate kisses that they knew so well.
"I need you, wife. I need you so completely that I can hardly breathe, Joan. Will you give me yourself as my wife tonight?"
"Yes, Sherlock, I will take you into my body . . . into the Jade Gate. I want to always pleasure you, give you whatever you need to care for your passions. Sherlock . . . baby," Joan's voice broke as she began to cry as well when Sherlock began to kiss her neck, then to tenderly suckle at her swollen breasts as his sensitive fingers roved all over her body.
Sherlock crouched over her as Joan opened her legs and arms to him welcoming him into her body as her husband for the first time. When their parts joined, they both cried out in ecstasy and began to rock rhythmically together as they wept for joy. They were so excited as they began to quiver and vibrate and Sherlock began to thrust so powerfully that Joan wailed his name as she received each thrust.
"Ooh, Sherlock . . . my husband! Sherlock, yes! Yes! I belong to you!"
"Take it easy, luv. We are going to make love all night long. Take it easy."
"Sherlock, I can't help it. I can't hold anything back. You know how I am! Ooh, yes! Yes!"
Joan bit Sherlock on his clavicle in the throes of ecstasy. She was lost in the moment, her eyes rolling back into her head, her whole body beginning to jerk in spasm after spasm. When Sherlock felt her bite him, his brain exploded in brilliant blue lights as he began to ejaculate and deliver his semen. And then they both shared that incredible moment when Joan surrendered, capitulated to him.
"Sherlock . . . I'm yours . . . completely."
"Joan . . . Joan . . . woman, I am yours and yours only. I love you so. Oh, God, Joan!" Sherlock kissed Joan all over her face as she lay conquered in his arms and then he groaned in his desire to take her again."Oh, Joan . . . Joan."
Sherlock and Joan went on a brief wedding trip to a property of his father up near Lake Placid. They stayed, or better said, hibernated in a cabin near the lake for a week. The trip consisted of long walks each day enjoying the lake and the rest of the time they spent in bed, unable to get enough of each other.
A couple days after their return to New York Joan began experiencing debilitating morning sickness. Sherlock was properly penitent as he followed her back and forth to the bathroom as she seemed to vomit nonstop for days, wiping her face with a cool wet cloth to calm her after each episode, lying beside her in bed holding her as wave after wave of nausea engulfed her, making her gag helplessly.
"I'm so sick, Sherlock. Just go and leave me to my misery."
"It's ours, luv . . . our misery. Did you leave me when I was suffering withdrawal? Don't you know that I'm here for the long haul?"
When Joan was too sick to wash her own body, he picked her up and took her to the bathroom, placed her in a tub of warm water, and gently bathed her and washed her hair. Then he tenderly dried her body and braided her hair for her.
"I'm sorry, Sherlock . . . sorry, I'm so out of it."
"Don't apologize, luv. I did this to you."
"But I wanted you to do it. I wanted your baby."
Sherlock grinned for the first time since the morning sickness began.
"I did too. I started wanting to impregnate you the first day we met. I kept telling myself that it was impossible . . . that I couldn't possibly want to impregnate anyone. But the longer that I continued around you, the more intense those feelings became. Now it appears that we have come full circle. I do love you so much, Joan."
"Oh, Sherlock, I'm too sick right now. Don't tell me this now, " Joan said, gagging.
The morning sickness was evidently over one night about three weeks later when Joan wakened Sherlock in the middle of the night, kissing him and touching him insistently.
"I need you Sherlock, baby . . . Please wake up and take care of me."
"Joan, luv . . . luv . . . umm. You're not sick?"
"I think it's over, I woke up and I'm not nauseous."
Sherlock caught Joan up in his arms and suddenly he was kissing her hungrily, feeling her body all over.
"I'm not nauseous anymore, Sherlock," Joan said again in disbelief.
"So now we can make love without you throwing up?"
"I'm sure of it. I've been missing it so much."
"Woman, you have no idea," Sherlock said wryly, as he kissed her tenderly in that favorite place of his behind her ear and then let his hands roam all over her body.
"You're not angry with me, luv, for inflicting such misery upon you?"
"I can't be angry with the man who has filled my womb. After my life went the way it did, I always thought that I would never have children. Then I met you and I began to fall in love with you that very first day. I think that is when I began to feel differently, but I knew that you did not believe in marriage and I would never want to bring a child into the world without the security and protection of its father."
Sherlock kissed Joan.
"I was a fool on that score. I know that now. Woman . . . You know that you have conquered me. You save my life every day that you motivate me to fight my addiction. You help me have hope in myself and in everything that is good. You waken in me every manly urge that exists and give me the opportunity to see myself as a part of the universe who has a part to play. You have taught me that love is of no human construct, that it originates somewhere above and beyond us."
Joan put Sherlock's hand on her belly with one hand as she ruffled Sherlock's chestnut hair with the other.
"I know that I love you so much that I want to put a beautiful child in your arms, Sherlock. I want you to have every reason to keep clean from your addiction. If having ten children would do it, I would sign up for that right now."
Sherlock positioned himself between Joan's legs and pushed inside her as Joan moaned softly, welcoming him once again.
"I'm here, luv. I promise that I will always try to be the father and husband you want me to be."
Joan's eyes were full of tears as she moaned helplessly in his arms as he made love to her, rotating, swiveling inside her, giving her what she craved more than anything, then pushing and thrusting powerfully, and with each thrust touching and pressing upon the deepest part of her. The sensation of her cervix swelling and drawing him in even deeper, possessing him this way, sent Joan completely around the bend. She began to cry out and shake helplessly, her whole pelvis seized with spasms that rocked her to the foundations of her very soul and caused halos of blue and white light to explode in her brain.
"Ooh, Sherlock, Sherlock! Help me, baby! Help . . . me!"
Joan shook and quivered in his arms, scratching long red welts on his shoulders, as the spasms surged again and again deep in her belly and Sherlock was flushed deep red as he lost control, gasping in ecstasy, blinded by the rapture of his release, his whole body going rigid in that moment when he felt as if his testicles would explode.
"Joan! Dear God! Aghrr! Aghrr!"
"Sherlock . . . Yes . . . Yes! You're so deep inside me . . . so deep!"
Joan felt the sensation of the bottom dropping out from under her as she capitulated, surrendering herself completely to him, as she wailed plaintively in his arms.
They could not stop as the climax held them captive, caught up in all the powerful emotions of their love, leaving both of them gasping in their lovers' embrace.
"I'm so in love with you . . . so in love. How did it take us so long to find this?" Sherlock whispered as he held Joan upon his chest smoothing her long hair as the sound of his heartbeat throbbed in her ears.
"Umm, I don't know . . . know only that I love you . . . will always love you, that I have loved you from the first day we met, that I can't help myself."
Sherlock drew the covers up over them as they began to drift off into the afterglow. He was constantly surprised at her capacity to endure his need to be on her daily and even multiple times some days, welcoming him without hesitation every single time. Her body had quickly become so attuned to his passionate needs that she stayed in some degree of tumescence most of the time, needing little or no wooing or foreplay to be ready for him. Now there were times she took the initiative and came looking for him as the hormones of pregnancy sent such urges through her that she would have to come and take Sherlock by the hand and lead him off to bed much to his delight.
When the morning came, Sherlock wakened with Joan snoring softly on his chest. He smoothed her hair, stroking her, thankful to have her sharing his bed. He was still just beginning to fathom the treasure of her sensuality. When Joan gave herself to him, it erased the memory of every other woman he had been with in his life. And she was so generous in giving herself to him that it frequently brought him to tears when they were engaged sexually as now he had discovered that her libido was as strong as his and as adventurous as well. As a result of their constant lovemaking Sherlock was sleeping the best in years and the tics and other erratic movements that were a part of him had given way to a calm of sorts as they settled into their passionate married life awaiting the birth of their first child.
When the three month mark from his relapse came, Sherlock's father contacted Joan to check on his progress. When Joan assured him that Sherlock had not relapsed, that he was going to his sobriety meetings and working regularly on cases again, he was quite gratified.
"I am quite happy to hear that things are going well, my dear. I believe that congratulations are in order in that I hear that you and my son have married."
"Yes, sir. We married shortly after you went back to London. It was somewhat sudden decision. We got married quietly."
"I understand that Sherlock would not share such news with me, but I am happy nonetheless. I was notified by my estate barrister that such had taken place. I have made adjustments in my will to reflect this change of his marital status. Are you well, my dear Joan?"
"Yes, I am quite well, sir," Joan said smiling at Sherlock as she spoke, sensing the veiled inquiry behind the elder Holmes' words.
"Since things have settled down, I will not come now due to pressing business matters on this side of the ocean, but I plan to visit within the next two or three months to make my own inspection."
When Joan put her phone aside, she looked at her now very grumpy husband.
"So did I pass inspection with the old man?"
"Yes, you did actually. And he heard through his sources that we had gotten married. He seemed happy about that fact, ergo the possibility of an heir."
Sherlock's eyes twinkled as he looked at how Joan's figure had changed three months into pregnancy. They had not announced her pregnancy to their workmates as yet and Joan had been able camouflage her figure changes with loose layered clothing, but Sherlock was aware of every subtle change-the swollen breasts and soft roundness to her normally flat belly and he found it altogether lovely.
Joan had arranged a luncheon date with her mother so that she could break the news of her marriage and impending motherhood. She regretted that she had taken so long to let her know what was going on in her life, but she knew how perceptive her mother was, how she would be unable to hide anything from her and when Mary Watson saw her daughter walk into the restaurant, she immediately discerned that she was pregnant.
"Why haven't you told me that you're pregnant, Joan?"
"Mother, I wanted to tell you but . . ."
"You look radiant, Joan. But you know my viewpoint on your being an unwed mother."
"I'm not unwed. I am a married woman. I have been married to Sherlock for three months."
Mary Watson's mouth fell open in astonishment.
"What? Why?"
"One of these days I will tell you all the reasons things happened this way, but for now I want you to be happy for me, because I am happier than I have ever been in my life."
"I guess I should not be surprised that you and Sherlock are finally really together. He is the only man to really capture your fancy."
"Let's have lunch, mother. Sherlock will be along to plead for your forgiveness in a half hour. Now my baby is making me very hungry."
When Sherlock came along, Mary Watson let herself thoroughly charmed by her now son-in-law and all fences were mended as they put Joan's mother in a taxi to send her home.
The next week when Joan and Sherlock went to meet Gregson and Marcus on a case, Joan deliberately wore a knitted close-fitting shift that made her swelling belly and full breasts more than obvious.
"I love that look," Sherlock said with a wink, pulling her up close to his hard muscled body and squeezing her hips.
"Well, if they don't notice that I'm pregnant today, I'm going to have to revoke their licenses as detectives."
Joan wore her loose trench coat when she walked into the precinct with Sherlock on that day. They were to meet with and interview the suspect on the case they were working on. When they walked into the interview room, Joan slipped out of her coat and walked around the table facing Gregson and Marcus.
"Whoa! Hey, Joan, uh . . . Joan . . . Sherlock?"
Marcus looked at Gregson who was truly speechless for a moment before he finally spoke.
"Damned if you are not pregnant, Joan!" he said, grabbing Joan and hugging her and then Marcus did the same.
"You old dog, Sherlock, you old married dog! I'm happy for you, man," Marcus said, slapping Sherlock on his back.
"We wondered how long it would take you two to see it . . . what happened to us." Sherlock flushed as he stared at Joan, his eyes full of his love for her, looking more vulnerable than either Gregson or Marcus could ever remember. "We are . . .grateful . . . very grateful."
Soon all their colleagues at the precinct became aware of the news and even Sherlock's harshest critics had to smile and offer their best wishes to the happy couple. Sherlock and Joan excused themselves early and went home to the brownstone with the blessing of their coworkers. As they walked into their house, Joan suddenly caught her belly.
"Joan, luv, what is happening?"
"I felt our baby move. Oh, Sherlock, I feel it."
Sherlock picked Joan up and carried her to their bed and pulled up her dress so that her rounding belly was completely exposed and Sherlock kissed her all over her belly as Joan thrilled at the sensation of the life moving inside her.
"God, you are so beautiful like this. No one can imagine how beautiful you are."
Joan began to cry for joy as she took Sherlock's hand to the spot where she felt their baby moving. Sherlock kissed her over and over and their passions escalated till they were coming together in intercourse, confirming their love again.
The next two months saw Joan's pregnancy rapidly advance before Sherlock's fascinated eyes. The movements and flutters she had begun to feel in her fifth month intensified and by the beginning of her sixth month her baby bump was obvious to anyone who saw her. They went together to have her ultrasound and Dr. Winslow was pleased to see them both. She was happy for Joan and she really liked Sherlock, especially because he was interested in every aspect of his wife's pregnancy.
When Joan lay back on the table for the ultrasound, Sherlock was fascinated as the tiny fetus came into view.
"There is your baby, Joan. Sherlock, do you see it? You want to know the sex of course?"
"Yes, we do," Sherlock said.
"Well, there is no question on this one. His penis is quite evident. Do you see it here?"
"Yes, we do, doctor. I see my son. Oh, God!" Sherlock's eyes were full.
Sherlock kissed Joan on her cheek and her hand and then he broke down and wept uncontrollably as he embraced Joan's belly. Dr. Winslow left the room to give them the privacy that they needed at this special moment.
Sherlock and Joan were elated after seeing their little one on ultrasound. They left Dr. Winslow's office and headed home in a taxi looking forward to the last trimester of her pregnancy.
"What do you want to name your son, Sherlock? Since we are having a son, I think you should decide."
"What would you name him, luv?"
"I would name him Ryland Watson Holmes."
"I like that. So be it. Ryland is part of my father's name. You know I love you, Joan. At any rate my father will love you."
"I think we need to try to mend things between you and your father. I think it will help you in every way."
"You mean with my sobriety?"
"Yes, knowing that your father is proud of you will be good for you."
"I don't care what my father thinks of me. You know that! Stop trying to force me to reconcile with him," Sherlock said petulantly.
"Sherlock, I love you. I am carrying your son in my belly. I only want what is good for you. I will not let you hurt yourself with this kind of negativity."
They were home and Joan got out of the cab and marched up the steps to the house with Sherlock following close behind. He was immediately penitent as he saw her struggling to open the front door and get into the house.
He took the key from her and opened the door and let her go into the house ahead of him. He had not seen her this angry in a very long time.
"I'm sorry, Joan. You just don't understand the history between us. He fathered me with one of his employees, Mycroft's governess, no less! He forced her to give me up as an infant, paid her off, and sent her packing!"
"Tell me something that I do not know. Your father admitted that same thing when I met him here six months ago. He said that he regretted the way things happened, but that he was trying to protect you, to give you a solid start in life. He gave you his name and status as his son, Sherlock. It may not have been the ideal way to handle matters, but it was a bad situation. Give him credit for some feelings, Sherlock. Are you going to go through your whole life blaming him for this?"
"He did not let me be with my mother, Joan. When I was old enough to look for her myself, I was told that she was dead. I can't forgive that."
"Sherlock . . Please! Stop this! Would you want him to have left her with an illegitimate child to raise? He gave you his name, educated you, gave you equality with Mycroft in every way. He did all that he knew. He told me that he loved your mother."
"Joan, please do not take his side in this matter."
"I am not taking his side. You have to forgive him, Sherlock, so that you can move on."
"How would you feel if that baby in your belly would be taken from you at birth and you never saw him again?"
"Please don't let this be about our baby, Sherlock," Joan said, clasping her round belly with her hands, her eyes filling with tears.
Sherlock saw Joan's tears and his heart broke open and he took Joan into his arms and tenderly kissed her.
"I don't want to make you unhappy, Joan. I'm sorry that things with my father are such a mess."
"My own father is crazy and doesn't know who he really is most of the time, but you know that I love him. I love him, Sherlock, and I love you. Being pregnant brings all these positive emotions to the fore in me. I would hope that you would share these feelings with me."
Sherlock drew her even tighter into his embrace and held her close, rubbing her pregnant belly all over.
"I'm trying to get past what happened. I will try harder . . . because you want me to. I will try harder. I cannot bear your being angry with me because I need you too badly, woman. Please don't deny me what I need at this moment."
"Sherlock, I will never deny you my love. I can't help loving you. Don't you know that by now?"
Joan took Sherlock by his hands and kissed both his palms, inhaling the scent of him and wanting him, wanting him to hold her in his arms.
"Do you need me, Joan?"
"Yes, I want to get in our bed with you and have you talk to me . . . and make love to me the way you do, and hold my belly and talk to me about your son that I am carrying. I am so happy today, Sherlock, and I just want you to hold me and kiss me the way you did when we saw that ultrasound today."
Sherlock's eyes filled and he nearly broke down in his wife's arms as he picked her up and carried her into their bedroom and laid her down on their bed, took her shoes off, and then kicked his own shoes off and lay down beside her and opened her sweater up so that he could kiss her swollen breasts and embrace her round belly. Then he pulled her slacks down and off so that she was completely exposed before him and laid his head against her belly.
"I'm sorry, Joan. I was lacking in sensitivity earlier. I can be a complete arse sometimes. Please, luv, forgive me."
"Please undress for me, Sherlock. I want to be with you now. I need my husband to make love to me."
Sherlock stood up and shed his clothes and lay back down close to Joan, tenderly touching her all over her body and soon they were lost in each other, tenderly kissing, as they sought to find comfort in one another.
"I'm so sorry to have upset you, luv. I will try to be better with my father . . . for your sake, because of you."
"You are his son, Sherlock, and you look like he just spat you out. In spite of everything he loves you, and I want you to be able to put this baby in his arms. I want you to present him with his grandson. You can give him that, Sherlock. Will you try?"
"Yes, I will try very hard. You make me better in so many ways, Joan."
"Did you see our baby on the ultrasound, Sherlock? We made him and he is growing inside me and getting bigger every day. As a doctor, I understand all about human gestation, but there is nothing that could have prepared me for the sensation of your baby moving inside me. I am so stoked. And I hope he looks just like you, Sherlock," Joan said as she rubbed her swelling belly.
"Well, he has one obvious similarity," Sherlock said with a smile, remembering how easy it was to determine the sex of their baby."
"Sherlock . . . Please just make love to me this afternoon."
"Yes, ma'am," Sherlock said with the endearing shyness he sometimes manifested as he smoothed Joan's hair back from her face so that he could claim her lips in a kiss that began gentle and tender and then intensified and became so passionate that Joan moaned softly in his arms.
Sherlock wrapped his arms around Joan and they were soon lost in their own mysteries in their marriage bed.
