Chapter 3

"Is it some kind of ploy?" JJ whispered as Emily led her out of the dining room. In the hall the band was striking up once again. "They feed you until you feel like bursting and then disorient you by making you dance. Look at them all twirling like that… I'd be sick." She stopped babbling, feeling somewhat self-conscious as a thought hit her. "Can you dance like that?"

Andrew had disappeared into the crowd on the tail of a young woman he didn't know (but wished to), and now it was just JJ and Emily standing at the edge of the room, briefly alone—at least, as alone as a couple could be amongst so many people.

"We don't have to dance if you're not comfortable with it," Emily assured her. "But if you are, I can teach you. I can lead." Seeing that JJ was undecided, she leaned in closer until her lips brushed the younger woman's ear. "If we dance, we won't have to talk to anyone else for a while…"

It was certainly tempting.

"Aren't you going to be embarrassed when I keep stepping on your toes in front of all these fashionable people?" JJ teased, but she'd already been won over. She rested a hand on Emily's waist and ran her thumb along the smooth fabric of her gown experimentally.

"The whole point of this evening is to prove to my mother and everyone that I will not be embarrassed by whomever I choose to date," Emily answered. "And I could certainly never be embarrassed by you, JJ."

It felt good, for a moment, to hear someone call her by her nickname. Although the first few times her full name had slipped from Emily's lips, JJ had liked it, the name Jennifer now possessed an unshakeable ring of falseness. She wasn't a three-syllable kind of girl, she thought. She was an abbreviation, and happily so—something short and sweet and fun. She could be serious when she needed to be, but it wasn't her natural state.

"Well then," JJ finally replied, "I would love to dance with you," and she allowed her date to lead her out onto the floor.

Emily led simply and gracefully but without much verbal instruction. She relied upon JJ following her movements and sensing the rhythm of the music, which she did well. When she had the moves understood closely enough to let her concentration slip, Emily surprised her with a delicate outwards spin before curling her back into her chest. JJ chuckled at the cheeky smile the older woman gave her. They moved more easily after that.

"Do you mind if I cut in?" came a familiar voice from behind them, and Emily turned to find an old friend of her mother's—very wealthy and very influential. The ambassador would never forgive her if she refused the dance.

Thankfully, Andrew swept back in at that moment and requested JJ's hand, relaxing Emily's qualms about abandoning her play-girlfriend for a few minutes.

Her mother's friend danced well and spoke politely, but Emily was glad when she had JJ back in her arms. They had perfected a way of moving together and there was something intimate about it, although they followed the same patterns as the other dancers. Emily met JJ's eyes and found her staring back with a look something like wonder.

"You are so beautiful…" The words surprised Emily even as she spoke them. "I mean— Well, you are. …Sorry."

JJ laughed softly. "Why are you apologising?" she asked, tossing her hair over her shoulder with a gentle shake of her head. "Thank you for the compliment."

The curls JJ had formed earlier with an iron had loosened as the night wore on, and now Emily resisted the urge to run her hands through the fine blonde hair and test the spring of the soft waves. Instead, she settled for gently brushing JJ's collarbone with her thumb, her right hand resting on the blonde's shoulder as they danced, more slowly now. She was numbly aware of more than one pair of eyes settling on she and her date.

Let them look, Emily thought. I have the most gorgeous woman in the world right here in my arms. Of course they're jealous.

"Do you think your mother would have a coronary if I kissed you?" JJ murmured. Then she followed the question up with a joke, just in case it was poorly received. "I promise not to eat you out on her dining room table."

Their dance had mellowed to the point that they were barely moving and now Emily stilled them completely and moved her hand from JJ's shoulder up her neck to rest at her jaw.

"That's a very considerate question," she replied, her tone affectionately teasing. "Do you usually ask parental permission before you kiss someone? If so, would verbal consent be adequate or do you require it in writing?"

"I'm not asking the ambassador's permission," JJ rebutted. "I'm asking whether my desire to kiss her daughter in public would threaten her life or only her delicate sensitivities."

"Jayj, if she went into cardiac arrest right this second I would probably still kiss you," Emily admitted and it was true her lips were very close now.

"In front of all these people?" JJ breathed.

Emily smiled calmly and tilted JJ's chin toward her. "In front of all these people," she confirmed and then she kissed her.

The taste of Emily's mouth was all expensive wine and richness and JJ wanted to drink it in. She slid her hands from Emily's waist up to her ribs and pulled her as close as she could, enjoying the sensuous smoothness of the fabric beneath her hands and the taut body beneath it. A sigh left JJ's lips as the hand on her chin gently tugged her jaw down and opened her mouth to Emily's tongue.

"Beautiful…" Emily repeated, whispering the word before JJ had even registered her withdrawal, and the eyes that met hers were peaceful and loving.

A satisfied languidness overtook the couple's movements as they resumed their dance, and they didn't stop until finally duty called for Emily to farewell the other guests.

"It is wonderful to be seeing you again, Emily," one old man greeted her. His accent was eastern European, although JJ couldn't quite place it. He pronounced Emily's name as Emilih and clapped a hand on her back as though he knew, or had once known, her well. The gesture seemed genuine. "And I am glad to meet you too, young lady," he directed to JJ. "Although I am surprised. This one, she never had her shortage of boyfriends… But none of them, I think, she cared for as much as you. Good evening to you both."

Emily's eyes followed the man fondly as he walked away and JJ realised that although this world of politicians was not one she often chose to dwell in, it was the life she had been born into. All of the faces she knew from her childhood belonged to such people. Some of them were kind and loving but others, whom JJ had also met and tried her best to ignore, were conniving and grasping. No one had been outright rude to her this evening, but she had seen the stares and heard the silences that followed her around. Conversations ended as she approached. But that much had been expected.

Only one man acted deliberately rudely, dismissing Emily with a callous wave as she thanked him for coming. His wife looked embarrassed but kept her head down and the pair left quickly, although not without a quiet and probably snide word to Elizabeth Prentiss, who stood by the door with her face impassive.

"We have to talk to your mother before we go, don't we?" JJ asked. She tried to fight the dread settling in her stomach. She'd been happy to do this for Emily—wanted Emily, as an adult, to feel like she had the freedom to see whomever she pleased, regardless of their sex. But that didn't lessen the ambassador's intimidating nature and JJ knew that Emily was dreading the conversation too.

Still, Emily steeled herself and, much like a politician, showed no fear. "We won't stay long," she replied. "But we can't run away without saying goodbye, no."

Andrew waved from across the room but didn't speak to them again. He left with the same woman he had gone to dance with earlier and gave Emily a wink before turning away. Finally, only the ambassador and a few staff remained, along with Emily and JJ, and the staff quickly dissipated once the door had closed. Even they knew what was coming.

"You still throw a grand party, mother," Emily commented. Her voice was casual, unafraid, and JJ marvelled at it. "Everyone enjoyed themselves immensely."

"Did they?" the ambassador's voice was terse. "I was preoccupied." It was clear from her tone that her daughter's choice of partner had been the subject of her preoccupation. "And when did you ever come to one of my parties except to stir trouble? Do you think this is a joke?"

"It's not a joke, mother. This is my life," Emily answered. "I'm going to date women occasionally, I hope I'll be married someday, and I may even want children. I'm saving you the scandal later."

"I'm sure she told you you weren't welcome," the ambassador lashed out at JJ without answering her daughter. But before JJ could reply, she had turned back to Emily. "You're trying to make a fool of me. You must be. Parading her around like that. You hardly left her side all night, you kissed her in front of everyone—!"

Emily was trying to be reasonable but it was difficult. "Mother, that's going to happen sometimes," she said plainly. "One of your friends will recognise me in the street or at a restaurant with a woman and it may or may not filter back to you. I can't help that. I can't always be afraid of being caught out like a stupid teenager with a secret boyfriend—"

"Your boyfriends were never secret," Elizabeth hissed. "You've always been an embarrassment to me. You do it on purpose. And I've done so much for you. I've given you the best of everything. Why do you insist on hurting me?"

"I'm sorry if I embarrass you, mother," Emily sighed. She sounded honest and that was upsetting to JJ. If Emily wanted to apologise for not forewarning her mother that she was bringing a woman, that was one thing, but JJ sensed it was more than that she was apologising for now. It was something she didn't owe anyone an apology for. "When I was a kid, I meant to upset you. I admit it. I wanted your attention. And, besides that, I was so afraid of embarrassing you by accident that I thought if I did it on purpose at least I'd have no reason to expect you to act like you loved me… Now I'm tired of playing games with you. I just want to live my life without always looking over my shoulder, thinking of who my see me, how I might embarrass you next just by being me."

"You're a clever woman, Miss Jareau. What are you doing here?" Elizabeth asked. Her tone had softened, ever so slightly, but she refused to acknowledge her daughter. "Any one of the people in this room could have—and still might—send word of your relationship with my daughter back to your unit chief. Why would you risk tarnishing your reputation at the bureau for her?"

JJ stared at the ambassador and desperately tried to understand her. If anyone could understand the sacrifices people made for those they loved, it should be a mother; it should be Emily's mother. Yet the ambassador was lost. It was fear that motivated her actions. The same fear that schoolchildren feel: What if I do something different and the others don't like me anymore? It was pitiful, but it was also forgivable.

"You're a clever woman yourself, ambassador," JJ answered, slipping an arm pointedly around Emily's waist. "I'm sure you understand. And I'm sure you want your daughter to be happy as much as I do, even if you wish she could be happy in a more conventional way." She flashed Emily an apologetic look as if unsure whether or not that was an offensive thing to say. "I'm here because I never want Emily to feel embarrassed or ashamed about loving a woman, and because tonight—even if only for tonight—I was honoured to be that woman."

With only a slight hesitation, JJ turned her face into Emily's cheek and laid a soft kiss there, in spite of her mother, and Emily caught her eye with a loving smile as she pulled away.

"Mother, I'm not expecting you to be okay right away," she admitted. "The truth is, I should have done this a long time ago. If I had, maybe things would be better by now. Still, I hope you'll try. I'll try to be more considerate as well but I can't do it by hiding who I am. I'm sorry."

"You picked a good woman for the job," the ambassador finally conceded, as if this were the best compliment she could muster. "There was talk, but much of it was good. Jennifer certainly made an impression… Well, she's a good, wholesome girl. Fit, educated, well mannered. I suppose if you had to bring a woman…" Elizabeth let out a brief sigh and then pressed her hands together as if that were all she'd meant to say. "Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight, mother," Emily replied, and although the two women didn't so much as shake hands as they parted, the air was clearer between them now, and JJ could feel the tension that had been coiling within her all night begin to unwind.

Still, she was glad when the tall oak doors were closed behind them and she could be herself again.