A big thanks to my two beta readers HollyRose31523 and almcvay1.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Blacklist


"From this moment, from this moment you will never be alone.

We're bound together, now and forever. The loneliness is gone."

Muse – 'Aftermath'


"You are my sin eater."

"Tried to be. But I failed… I never wanted you to be… "

"What?"

"Like me."

As the door closed and the van started moving, something happened that didn't happen very often. Raymond Reddington had a moment of uncertainty and he wasn't sure what to do next.

How had it come to this? Why hadn't he seen that coming? What had made her pull the trigger? And most important of all, where were they supposed to go from here?

He didn't even have the slightest idea she might do something like this again. To kill a person, to look him in the eyes and kill him. There had to be a viable threat - something that had compelled her to do it. A threat to her? To Cooper? Red's thoughts circled around these questions and he allowed his mind to consider that she actually had done it to protect Red himself.

And if killing the US Attorney General hadn't been enough, putting that bullet into Tom Connolly's chest had also been the trigger which had allowed her memory to finally return. Red had never wanted her to remember what she had done that night. He had wanted that memory to be buried forever. All these years he had done everything he could do to protect her from the greatest threat - her own memory.

He knew her. He knew how she would take it. Lizzie had a heart that was pure and caring - that could love without a doubt. But she also had a mind that was stubborn and linear. All of which she had gotten from her mom. She had known at a very young age how to tell right from wrong. And that would've been the problem. She would've never considered the fact that killing her own dad hadn't been wrong in that moment. She did it because she felt that she had to protect her mother. But she would never look at it that way. He was sure of that. He knew she would've beaten herself up for it. She could've never forgiven herself and her whole life would've faded in the shadow of this single moment. That is what Red had tried to prevent. And he had been able to do so – until today.

"War is all around, I'm growing tired to fighting. I've been drained, and I can't hide it."

Today he had failed. He had failed to protect her. All the fighting had been for nothing after all. One moment had made everything fall apart. The exhaustion that he had felt, when Lizzie had told him that she remembered what had happened that night, was beyond anything he had ever experienced. And unfortunately he hadn't been able to hide it. He had let his guard down and allowed himself to be vulnerable. Something he usually didn't do in front of anyone. He had reached out to her, had taken her hand. Not to soothe her, but to calm the storm that was raging inside of him. A storm that had drained all of his strength.

"But I have strength for you. You're all that's real anymore."

But Red couldn't think about that now. Of all times this was definitely not the time to be tired and broken. He had to put his tiredness aside, as he had done so many times before and be even stronger than he had been until now. He still wasn't ready to give up. He had to protect her now more than ever. Protect her from the Cabal, the FBI and from herself.

He heard Lizzie breathe out and suddenly he felt her head on his shoulder, resting. He longed to take her hand again, just like before, to take her in his arms and hold her tight so she couldn't fall apart. But he was too afraid to move. He didn't want to break this moment for anything. He enjoyed feeling the weight of her body leaning into him, searching for comfort. That was all that mattered now – It was all that was real.

"But my heart is strong because I know now where I belong.

It's you and I against the world, and we are free."

So here they were. Sitting in this van - on the run. Red was accustomed to this kind of situation, but for her it was definitely a first. He sighed. He didn't want this kind of life for her. He had always wanted her to be happy and free from the sorrows that regularly plagued him. But there wasn't much that he could do right now. He could stand with her, fighting a war against various enemies that he presumed to be much more influential than he knew by now. He had to make a plan. But first of all, he had to take her off the radar.

Question was - where should they go? Right now, they were heading to a small private airport, where a jet and a pilot were on standby to fly them anywhere they wanted. They definitely had to leave the country and he was sure that they had to split up eventually, just like he had done with Dembe. They could be found a lot easier when they stayed together, but he didn't want to leave her just now. To himself, he confessed that he needed her comfort as much as she needed his right now. He needed her. She was the person that he truly loved and who he would fight for, for the rest of his life. As long as they stayed together, Red knew he would always find the strength for it. Even if they had to hide, being with Lizzie had always given him the feeling of being free and he was sure that this would never change. He hoped she would feel the same after some time. A sudden image of Bonnie and Clyde crossed his mind and he couldn't help but picture himself and Lizzie as the infamous criminal couple. He had to grin imagining it.

When the car stopped Lizzie did not wake up by herself. Red was heartbroken that he had to interrupt this little peaceful moment she had. He turned his head and put a soft kiss on her head.

"Lizzie," he whispered. "We're here."

She sighed as she slowly opened her eyes.

"Where is here?" she asked exhausted as she lifted her head.

"Airport," he replied.

"Where are we going, Red?"

He hesitated in answering her, but hearing her question suddenly made him realize where he would take her.

"I was thinking about Sardinia," Red suggested." I believe we could both use a little time off. There is this cozy little house with access to a little pebble stone beach. We could calm down, enjoy the ocean and the sun." He looked at her expectantly. "Unfortunately we can't stay long," he added."Dembe will lead the FBI on a false trail to Mexico. That will buy us some time. What do you think?"

"Sounds beautiful," Lizzie agreed. "Too good to be true, and much better than I deserve right now."

"You don't have the slightest idea of what you deserve, dear," Red replied. "I know that you feel more lost than ever and that you don't believe me right now. But I'll make sure that you will."

Lizzie didn't answer him and that was worse than if she had. It would be a long run, not in the physical way but psychologically. Mending her soul would be much harder than anything else. But he would find a way to turn things around. They were bound together, and he would never leave her alone. He would make her happy somehow. He would stand by her – even if it was the two of them against the world.

"We've gone against the tide, all we have is each other now.

I need your comfort."


If you are interested in a sequel, feel free read my story "New York - Stintino". :)