The evil plot begins

Truly sorry for the millions of accidental puns in this one! We didn't mean it! Bad choice of words! WDNOH!

Seras's eyes were shut, her face wincing at her embarrassment. A streak of red dashing along her cheeks as she moved in perfect synchronism with her master, behind her. The room was dark and the music could have easily deafened a human. Lights were streaking across the room and heat was rising from all the bodies tightly compacted together. Seras was sweating profoundly and she opened her eyes in shock. Alucard's hand which hadn't been touching her at all rested itself onto her thigh. She watched as it had crept up from her thigh to her hip and slowly made its way to her ribs and settled itself below her bust. Alucard had her completely against him and she could feel him grind his body harshly into hers.

"Alucard, we have been here for six hours and it's already two in the morning," she mumbled looking to the side in a shy sort of manner. She felt his other hand rub onto her hip and she turned to an almost purple red. He was really into this which scared her. She wasn't used to this kind of dancing; she was used to the unwanted harassment but not the crud dancing. She wasn't even dancing anymore. Alucard was the one controlling the stings like a puppet master and she was the puppet.

"Alucard, come on. Sir Integra's probably asleep and we need to get home," she turned around to come face to face with him. His head was down and he wrenched her wrists about her face which was pointed towards the ceiling, gasping at the sudden harshness and brutality he had placed her in. He began to move himself with the music's beat skimming Seras's body hard enough for her to notice him. She didn't like the position she was in, but at this point, there really wasn't anyway to get out of it. She began to sweat even more; the dance was tormenting her. It was too hot and she had about two glasses of beer before she hit the dance floor with her master.

At last he released her hands and she collapsed onto him looking half stoned, and half weary eyed. The song ended and he dragged her onto the couch where she caught her breath and laid her head onto her master's lap. She closed her eyes, inhaling his familiar scent and rested.

"Police girl, is it not a bit strange that we are at a club in formal clothing and yet we can still get a good workout just by freak dancing?" she opened her eyes lazily. She gave him a weak smile and turned her head, shutting her eyes. He placed his hand below her bust and slid it up her cleavage so that it rested at her collarbone.

"Sure…" her voice trailed off and he felt her body relax. He had worn her out until she was down for the count. He shook her awake and lifted her to her feet. She was absolutely dazed and he snickered at her absolute weak state.

"You know, you wouldn't be this weak if you didn't neglect to drink your blood." He muttered taking off his jacket and leaning his back forward. Seras climbed onto his back and buried her face into his long thick hair. He handed her his jacket and she flung it onto his shoulder. He looked onto the shoulder and came face to face with Seras, who had closed her eyes once again and had fallen asleep.

He made his way to the parking lot, passing the bouncers on the way out and laughed to himself of how tough they looked, they were no match for him or anybody that came from him. He stopped at their car and gently put her onto her side, strapping her seatbelt around her and sweeping her bangs out of her face. He closed the door and went to his side, opening the door, trying not to wake his fledgling next to him. He shut the door and she stirred, she stirred but did not wake up. He sighed with relief and started the car, and drove off back to the Hellsing manor.

Meanwhile…

"I don't think that the UN will do anything that might not benefit their tries for world peace. We are merely ridding the world of the undead. Every country needs undead exterminators." Maxwell looked to his side where Anderson was standing. Anderson was whipping away the last remnants of blood from dealing with their last encounter. They walked up the garden pathway that led to the church.

"That vasn't too bad, vas it?" Heinkel and Yumiko were walking directly behind them and Heinkel was still anxious to spar with Anderson after he had killed two of 'her' ghouls.

"Which reminds me," he paused, father Renaldo had been waiting for Maxwell's return. "I must apologize to my date," and he briskly paced off, father Renaldo at his heels.

The three of them stopped in their tracks.

"Did he say…date?"

Back at Hellsing manor…

Alucard had carried Seras in 'bridal' style and looked back and forth to see if anyone was up for a midnight stroll. He moved from the door and looked around the living room to make sure sir Integra wasn't around. He crept down the four stairs that connected to the living room and swiftly made a move towards the dungeon stairs.

"Oh Alucard… I didn't think you'd be back so soon. Were you kicked out or did they actually let you stay until they closed?" Walter put down his book and peered at Alucard through his monocle. A sweat drop fell of the side of Alucard's head as he turned to face the butler.

"No neither, HOW THE HELL DO YOU MANAGE TO DO THAT TO ME? I CAN'T EVEN SENSE YOU ANYMORE!" he asked watching as Seras stirred and then relaxed again.

"Tell me she's still a virgin, Alucard," the butler closed his eyes.

"Yeah she is, but she's one hell of a dancer though," Alucard looked down at her again, her head was relaxed onto his chest and she was grasping the collar of his shirt.

"… Is sir Integra still awake?" Alucard asked motioning his head to face the aged caretaker as the phone rang.

"I'LL GET IT!" sir Integra yelled at the top of her lungs.

"I guess that answered my question," and Alucard left with Seras, taking them both down to the dungeons.

Inside sir Integra's office…

"Maxwell…" her voice trailed off. She knew that he was going to call soon or later, and she wasn't a happy clam either.

"A thousand pardons my lady, it was an emergency. I'm sure you understand emergencies. It was an agreement, a confidential agreement. Lady Integra…"

"Lady? That's sir Integra to you. You could have at least told me you were going…I would have understood, but the way you left, it was like you stood me up," her temper was rising.

"I did not stand you up… you need to be forgiving! Where is god's compassion in you PROTESTANT!" he knew she couldn't be reasoned with and he had enough. He knew that he had crossed the line with the last insult and he waited to see how she would react.

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DITCHED ME AND NOW YOU INSULT ME?" She paused. "I knew it. Men never do change do they?" and she hung up the phone leaving Maxwell on the other end staring at the receiver.

He had an 'excuse me' look on his face and looked at the phone as it if were the devil himself. He slammed the phone back onto the receiver and made a cross over it. He plowed his head onto his hand, his elbow resting on the table. His lower lip had protruded over the top, his face in a pout. Alexander Anderson had stepped into the office, bewildered by the bishop's face.

"Would ye lak tew go down stairs for dinner? 'Nd possibly prayer for e few blasphemous thawghts…" Anderson assumption couldn't have been anymore correct. Maxwell had been cursing in his mind ever since Integra hung up on him. Maxwell glared at him which sent the paladin reeling back.

"God be with ye…" Anderson dashed out of the office not wanting to upset the bishop anymore than he did. He had never seen Maxwell like this. He passed father Renaldo who looked like he was about to skip. Anderson turned to watch Renaldo enter Maxwell's office and he raised his right eyebrow. Anderson had the gift of god… in a manner of speaking. He could tell if something was not right. Maxwell was upset and Renaldo couldn't have looked happier even if he was made pope. He walked down the stairs where he was greeted by Heinkel in a tank top.

"Laddie's first!" and he pointed his hand to the courtyard. She turned around and began to walk towards the courtyard.

"In the name of the father, son and holy ghost, amen," he made the cross over his torso… he too had a blasphemous thought… Heinkel looked especially good in a tank top and the silver rosary that hung around her neck hid right in her bust. He shook his head and followed her into the courtyard.

Back in Maxwell's office…

"Maxwell…I have wonderful news."

In the parking lot…

Walter was walking away to the black BMW parked in the vacant parking lot. He smiled at the brilliant but evil plan a Roman Catholic father and a protestant butler could come up with. The smirk on his face was dim as his monocle reflected the moon light. God would surly weigh this as an evil deed but it was so worth it.

"Good luck my new friend," Walter muttered into the cold crisp air. Clouds began to cover the moon and Walter stopped next to the car and opened the door. He turned to get one last look at the beautiful roman embassy where Maxwell was staying. He closed the door behind him and drove off hoping that all would go well.

Little did he know that their plans would go a bit too well…

"Father Renaldo, you seem to be more blessed than any of us tonight. What has the good lord gifted you with tonight?" Maxwell was going to make sure be forgiven tonight, sarcasm was a major sin to him but tonight just wasn't his night. Father Renaldo pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and smiled.

"Enrico Maxwell, you are going on vacation." Maxwell stared at him, none of it fazing him at all. He sat there with a blank expression on his face, father Renaldo's smile began to fade.

"You work too hard, so I thought you might need it," Maxwell blinked and leaned back onto the chair.

"I've got too much to do, and besides, we are returning to Rome tomorrow. I have no time to even think about vacation." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It calmed his nerves and he put on his glasses to read the follow up the Yumiko had typed.

"Correction, they are leaving tomorrow, we are leaving for Rome in two weeks. I am going to see you to your destination and then leave after I drop you off." Renaldo's smile was huge and Maxwell lifted his eyebrows and shook his head. Maxwell sighed.

"Where is it?"

"Glad you asked!"

Anderson, Heinkel and Yumi were huddled behind the door. Heinkel was interested in Anderson's intuition and Anderson wanted to find out the cause of father Renaldo's weirdness. Yumi was just curious as to why they were behind the door in the first place. Heinkel was leaning against Anderson's back and he was blushing hard.

"Anderson, move your big head," she mumbled. She wanted to hear them more clearly and Anderson was blocking it.

"Then get yer chest off mi' back," and he moved over. She tugged on his ear making it turn red as he scrunched his face up in pain.

"What in Jesus' manger is going on?" Yumi whined.

"You are going to a location about two hours from here, to a cabin in the mountains. Maxwell, try to enjoy yourself and forget the past. When was the last time you were on vacation?" the other side of the door, father Renaldo could have been heard.

"About six hours ago." Came Maxwell's reply.

"Well you are going to enjoy yourself this time."

Meanwhile… at the Hellsing mansion…

"Walter is this some kind of ruse to get me out of the house, is it?" Integra wasn't in a very good mood. Alucard had returned as late as he could and she was pretty sure she saw Seras in his arms as well.

Alucard was listening from the floor; Seras was sitting on her mattress (her dungeon is under the office).

"Alucard, tell me what's going on," she was yanking on his leg. Her oversized shirt see-through but it was her pajamas. Pip walked into the room and got an eye load for himself. He didn't actually say anything for a while cause first of all, Alucard was there, second she was in her pajamas (he was jumping to all sorts of conclusions), and thirdly, he was afraid of Seras's right hook.

Back to sir Integra…

"Since you have been constantly working till the morning, I thought you could use a break." She looked at him with her dim blue eyes; a cigar was sticking out of the corner of her mouth. Smoke was streaming from it and Walter fixed his tie.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked, the cigar bounced up and down as she spoke. Walter closed his eyes and hung his head.

"I mean, you are going to the mountains to spend a week at a cabin. In a week I shall see you there and you shall spend all of hallows eve there."

Alucard almost popped out from the floor. It was too good to be true. He had been scheming of ways to get Integra out of the house for about three years after incognito's death. It was the rarity of a full moon on Halloween and it was his favorite holiday. He brought his head down from the ceiling and Seras was clinging to his legs. She pulled on him harshly and he fell right next to her.

"Master, what's going on, what did he said?" she asked. Her face was light with a smile that spread from ear to ear and Alucard glomped her (so out of character I know).

"My undead life just got a whole lot better. Sir Integra is going away on Halloween. She is going to the mountains and we get to stay here by ourselves." He looked over to pip who had not moved from his position.

"I don't like how you said that!" she looked up at him and he pounced on her. He leered at her and brought his face an inch away from hers. He exhaled his breath onto her lips and she closed her eyes. Pip walked over to the bed but stood next to it.

"There are many things I will say that you won't like," he turned to face pip. Pip's face grew serious and he turned to face the ceiling.

"And much more zat you will not unzerstand," Alucard moved his legs so pip could sit down. Pip settled himself next to the great vampire and brought an unlit cigarette to his lips.

"So… will you zpere us ze details?" and brought the lighter up to met the cigarette's end.

Back to sir Integra…

"Walter, there's no way that I could go, even if I wanted to," she inhaled, closing her lips around the cigar. Walter smiled and watched for her to relax.

"It will only be for about a week, and the cabin comes with a view and lovely curtains imported from Spain. What do you say?" he looked hopefully to her.

"Walter, if I were concerned about the curtains, I would not have left up the curtains that Alucard decorated with ghoul blood!" she turned to see if he was anywhere near by. She turned back to face Walter and he took a deep sigh.

Down below…

"Hey, those curtains were a nasty puke color," Alucard pulled up from leaning on Seras's bed. Seras who had momentarily fallen asleep from listening to the conversation with her master peaked her eye open. Alucard placed a hand over her forehead.

"Go to sleep my little kitten, this is not something important," Pip, who had been leaning against the bed post, moved his head and looked at Alucard who put Seras into a trance like state. Her head fell onto her pillow and Pip motioned to Alucard.

"For Halloween, I want you work the security systems, and make sure that Integra doesn't pop by early. Can you do that for me?" Alucard closed his eyes.

"The hell I can… hey, what's in it for me?" Pip always mooched off of sir Integra when he wanted a beer.

"Your life," Pip nervously smiled, his cigarette dropped from the side of his mouth and he stared at Alucard. Alucard grinned at him and Pip left the room in a hurry, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

"Get's him every time!" and Alucard got up, taking his coat with him and he phased next door to his dungeon.

Up stairs…

"I say, what the hell, why not?" And she signed the paper in front of her. She reached over for another and Walter did a small cheer.

"I promise that you will enjoy it," he looked to her then to the paper.

"Great Walter… I can't wait…" she smiled sarcastically to the butler who began to leave the room and grinned to himself. She shut the door and walked down the hallway, satisfied that his and Renaldo's plan was going to actually work.