Heaven and Hell
A humor story.
The main characters who died in the books wake up to find themselves in a large cavern. It has no exit or entrance, but a large lake off to the right, filled with fish. There is an unidentifiable light coming from the top of the cavern. How will our heroes-and anti-heroes-escape from the hellish confines of this cave? They must work together, each person agreeing, to escape.
Our cast is:
Ares, the flier
Bane, the gnawer
Solovet, the killer
Hamnet, the killer
Twitchtip, the gnawer
Henry, the killer
Tick, the crawler
Twirltongue, the gnawer
Thalia, the flier
Frill, the hisser
[Last week on 'Heaven and Hell': Twitchtip took charge, Hamnet totally lost it, and Twirltongue and Solovet showed some unity in their attempt to ward off the newly vicious peace advocate.
[Solovet and Twirltongue finally collapse on top of each other, breathing heavily. Hamnet stands triumphantly in front of them, having run them into exhaustion.
Hamnet: Gonna play nice?
Twirltongue: When I can move….you are so dead.
Solovet: Yeah…what she said…
Hamnet: -dreamy stare- aaawww they're getting along! -rounding on the others- You guys are next!
Ares: -confused- Um…who are you again?
Hamnet: -striking a dramatic pose- I am Hamnet, righter of wrongs, protector of the weak, and advocate of peace between all living creatures!
[Fireworks go off in the background. Frill looks embarrassed, and Ares looks incredibly unimpressed. Bane is just happy watching the lights.
Ares: You might be able to add 'complete nutcase' to that resume
Thalia: Omigosh that was so funny! -collapses in a giggle fit-
Bane: Preeeeetty colorssssss!
Frill: -sheepishly- I thiiiink the cutterssss affected hissssssss miiiiiiiind…
Solovet: Pfft he was crazy to begin with. Just like that…thing over there! -gestures toward Bane-
Bane: -sniffles- that wasn't Niiiiiiice!! -starts crying-
[Everyone starts backing away from the Bane as he warms up for a temper tantrum. Before this happens however, Twirltongue manages to sidle up to him and whisper something in his ear.
Bane: Ya…you're right! -snarls- I am king! -attacks Solovet-
Solovet: O.O AAACK!!! -is pwned-
Ares, Twitchtip, Frill, Tick, and Twirltongue: FINALLY!
[But, just as it seems Solovet is gone for good…her body disappears.
Bane: wtf?
Solovet: I'm Aliiiiive! -randomly appears two feet next to where her body was-
Bane: Oh no you don't! -attacks and kills Solovet again-
Solovet: -magically appears- Nyah nyah!
Bane: RRAAAAAWR!!!!! -pounce-
Twitchtip:…so…how long do you think this will last?
Ares: As long as Thalia can keep laughing….
[The two turn to the small peach bat who is still helplessly laughing.
Twitchtip: Is it possible for anything to last that long?
Ares:…we can find out….
[Ten minutes later….
Solovet: Ok…this is getting boring…-is pwned again-
Bane: Maybe this time…
Solovet: -appears and is kills again-
Bane: this time!
Solovet: -appears- WILL YOU CUT IT OUT!?!?!?! -dies-
Bane: This time! This time! This time!
Hamnet: guys, just get along!
Ares: Pass the popcorn….
Twirltongue: How can we have popcorn?
Twitchtip: I dunno ask the Narrator.
Ares, Frill, and Twirltongue: What?
Twitchtip: Uummmmm….-panics- Nothing….I don't even know what I said…I'm not in contact with the person who put us here. Nope. Nuh-uh. I don't know a thing.
Twirltongue: Bullshit…
Ares: Hey look! I think he's getting tired.
Bane: -scowl- screw it. -personality change- OMG A BLANK WALL!!!!! -runs over to the wall and stares at it-
Solovet: Well finally. What was that about?
Twitchtip: Well, it seems that we can't die, or be harmed here.
Ares: Finally some place that I'm not constantly hurt. -glares accusingly at Solovet-
Solovet: How do you know?!
Twirltongue: Let's test this theory, shall we? -bites Tick's head off-
Tick: -dies and reappears-
Twirltongue: Theory proven.
Tick: What the hell was that for you bitch!
[Everyone, even Bane, who was distracted by the wall, and Thalia, who is still laughing, turns and stares at Tick.
Tick: I, mean ow, I.
Solovet: Things just keep getting weirder and weirder...
Henry: -shouting- EVERYONE LISTEN TO ME!!!!
[What is going on? Why was Tick talking normally? What does Twitchtip know? What's up with people dying over and over again? And I wonder what Henry has to say...find out next week on 'Heaven and Hell'!!!
Tick: Migraine, I have, migraine...
