"Wes? I need a boat."

…...

Buffy ignored the tiredness overtaking her body and squared her shoulders. Her sunken eyes looked out into the stretch of ocean, not seeing the potential wonder and beauty of it, but instead seeing the prison that was hiding her soul mate.

Wes cleared his throat and checked his watch for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. "Buffy, we might have to give up till tomorrow night, sunrise is about an hour and we can't-"

"Wes we have been looking for three days, we've marked off nearly every area in the grid from what Conner and that Skank have told us, I know we're close" I can feel him. Buffy added the last part silently to herself. She could feel the pain and desperation coming from Angel as if it was her own and the longer it took to find him, the worse she felt. The had pulled up chunks of wood and rubbish but not the tomb that held Angel. It hard been hard, gruelling and a waiting game which hadn't been helped by Justine's unwanted comments or Conner's often sullenness. They had taken to leaving Justine locked in the cupboard in Wes' apartment.

Buffy slid her eyes over to the boy. She couldn't help but feel for him and what he had been through. The last few days he had taken orders and followed through on the search, sometimes even quizzing Buffy on her fights and demons, although he would tense up when Angel happened to be mentioned. He didn't speak to Wes and had completely ignored Justine.

"Buffy?"

"Yeh Conner?" They were both standing at the back of the ship, side by side looking out.

"Do you hate me?" Conner had had this painful feeling in his stomach ever since he had truly listened to Buffy and let her words sink in. As soon as he had started to trust her, and therefore trust what she said, he had been feeling unbalanced which had only worsened to an aching pain in his chest. He couldn't work out why he trusted her but he couldn't fight it either.

"I don't hate you Conner. Why would you think that?" Buffy felt protective over Conner, whether it was an extension from Angel or what he had been through she didn't know but she would help him however and whenever she could.

"Because of what I did to him. I still don't trust him, I don't even know what to believe or what to think anymore".

"Conner you listen to me. None of this is your fault. You were ripped from a father that loved you and raised by another in a hell dimension, fighting for your life on a daily basis. You were bought up hearing stories and lies about Angel by a man you loved, trusted and thought had kept you safe and loved you in return. To then find out differently? To find out that what you thought was the truth, was actually the lie? That's a hard thing for anyone to go through. You've had to reassess everything with no help other than from people trying to use you. I don't hate you, Angel doesn't hate you". Buffy placed her hand briefly over Conner's, once again ignoring the slight warm buzz she constantly got when she happened to touch him. She shook it off as him being Angel's son and hoped to god that he didn't feel anything and start thinking it's something it's not…

"You don't know that, not after this. He gave me chance after chance Buffy. You should have heard what I said to him. Plus I think I pissed him off about Cordelia too"

"Cordelia? Why?" Buffy tried not to be overly eager but it's something she had been wondering about too.

"Because he can't see what's right in front of his face. I see things, I…lurk occasionally" Conner looked sideways at Buffy but just smirked when she rolled her eyes. "I can sense the magic or something from her and her space but I can't work it out. I was bought up sensing evil and danger and I'm always on guard around her. Angel never really used to notice her much, obviously she was his friend but he preferred being alone when he could or on his computer- which by the way, freaks me out to see a vampire using a laptop!"

"Conner…stick to the story" Buffy was tense waiting to hear the rest, although smiled at the image of Angel sitting in the dark, two finger typing on his computer.

"Sorry, yeah so anyway, about a month ago, things start to change, he's looking at her a bit differently, standing a bit closer, eye-locks, you know the whole nine yards. When I was locking him in the box, I tried to tell him at least he was in love with someone evil that matched him, even if it was by magic. He argued that there was no magic and she wasn't evil and that I wouldn't know what love was if it punched me in the face".

"So you think there is a spell going on?" Buffy ignored the ache at the possibility of Angel and Cordelia, she had been doing that since things started to get weird.

"Definitely. Besides, no way would he pick that skank over you Buffy".

"Thanks Conner" But I'm not so sure anymore.

"You don't believe me. I don't blame you, I wouldn't trust me either" Conner was dejected again, he felt torn and confused but it eased when he was talking to Buffy like this, it felt like she actually cared.

"Trust is earned, not just freely given Conner and for what it's worth, what you're doing now? This is earning my trust."

"What about his" Conner nodded towards the ocean.

"Your Dad? He's a forgiving person. He'll come around. Don't you forget though, he's been through a lot down there and we don't know what his frame of mind is so you ignore anything he says to you at first until we've had a chance to feed him and make sure he's ok. You hear me? You ignore it".

"Doesn't sound too promising but I'll try".

"Buffy!" They both swung round to look at Wes. It was time to get to work. They headed up towards Wes and looked at the map.

"Ok the scanners have found something here, we're going to drop the net and hopefully catch a fish" Wes looked at Buffy and Conner. They were staring at him with a mixture of disbelief and horror. "Ok we're going to pull up whatever this is and hope it's Angel?"

"Jesus Wes, here I was thinking you had turned all rugged and cool but that inner geek watcher is just begging to come out" Buffy joked to ignore the pounding in her heart. This was it.

...

20 minutes later Buffy was fidgeting as the noisy machinery pulled what she was sure, was the metal box encasing Angel. She could feel him getting closer.

Conner had shut his emotions off and was standing by the controls with his arms defensively crossed over his chest.

"Conner? If this is him I want you to promise me you won't interfere. Whatever happens you stay over there and listen to Wesley. Do you understand? Do you promise me?"

"What's going to happen Buffy?"

"Just promise you'll leave me to do whatever I have to and know that I'll be okay and all I want is for your Dad to be okay. Just promise you'll stay back alright?"

"Fine, fine, I promise". The box broke the surface and Conner shuddered. "That's him"

Buffy didn't need to be told, she could barely stand as Wes bought the lever round. Time seemed to slow as it made it's way to the deck. Wes started the motor and they headed for shore. As soon as it was down Buffy sprung into action trying to pry the lid off.

"It's welded" Conner said quietly, ignoring Buffy's frantic movements, taking over from Wes to guide the boat back.

Buffy wiped the dirt off the glass and gasped in shock as she looked through at Angel's pale cracked face. Suddenly his eyes snapped open and Buffy mentally sighed as she could clearly see his soul. The brief reprieve was ripped away as Angel started struggling, madness and confusion clouding his previously soft eyes.

Buffy took a step back and gripped the lip. "Step back Wes"

Wes peered through the window, Angel had stopped struggling but appeared to be in anguish. "I think he could believe he is dreaming Buffy. Hallucinations are common in starving vampires. Be careful."

"Step. Back. Wes"

Even Conner took a step back at Buffy's tone. And then another as he watched her wrench the lid from the box.

Buffy shut the others out as she ran her eyes over his body, he was frail, cracked and ashen. But alive.

"Angel?"

Angel squeezed his eyes shut tighter. The hallucinations, which had previously been a blessing had turned into torture. He was so close and the it was ripped violently away from him time and time again. He dreamt of his love, of them being together, of the day that wasn't, of reconciliation over and over then it was cruelly taken from him. Why would this time be any different? He would rather be dead.

"Angel? It's Buffy. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner. I'm going to make it better though okay, I need you to listen to me. It's going to be okay" Buffy grabbed one of the bags of blood they had ready and put it to Angel's mouth. He didn't move. Buffy sighed frustratingly and tore a small hole in the edge, wafting the smell under his nose. Suddenly Angel sunk his fangs in the bag, draining it in seconds. Buffy kept up the supply until all the bags were gone.

"It's not enough" She hadn't thought it would be. She knew what he needed but couldn't be bothered with the arguments so had kept it to herself. His cracked skin had lessened but other than whimpers and mumbles of it not being real, he was still unresponsive. "Conner, remember what I said about not interfering? Well this is the time to honour that promise. I know what I'm doing" With that, Buffy ripped her sleeve and stuck her wrist to Angel's mouth, using his own fang to pierce the skin.

Instantaneously Angel tasted the strength and power of Buffy's blood, it surged through him and he drew deeply on the source. His clouded mind was sending him mixed signals, half telling him that he should carry on, it was a dream and wouldn't hurt anyone. The other half was rapidly noticing something different this time. That he shouldn't be doing this. After a few more seconds coherence won out and he yanked his arm from the restraint and pulled Buffy's arm away from him. Tugging himself free of the other restraints he caught Buffy's unconscious form just as it began to fall. Sensing a threat he turned and growled at the two approaching humans. He was in full vamp face with blood trickling down his chin but he didn't care. "Back off".

"Angel we want to help" Wes put his hands up to show no threat but stopped advancing.

"What did you do to her? Did you kill her?" Conner was angry and was moving towards Angel. Wes gripped his shoulder telling him to stop.

"She's alive. I don't want to see either of you. Don't follow me boy!" With that Angel jumped over the side of the boat, onto the beach where they had landed, taking off into the night.

He ran through the alleys until he reached his destination. The original Angel Investigations offices. He had re-built the downstairs, needed somewhere to go as well as not wanting to lose the memories he and Buffy had created there, even if he was the only one to remember. The constant thump of her heartbeat kept him going until he finally collapsed on the bed, wrapping himself around her form protectively and reassuringly and dropping into a restless sleep himself.

...

A while later Buffy's stirring wakes Angel from his sleep.

"Buffy?" He goes to move away but she grips him tight, his weakened mind and body can't find the will to move so he settles back into her warmth.

"Angel are you okay? God what must that have been like?" Buffy gripped him almost painfully. "Conner told me what happened. Angel I'm so sorry I couldn't find you. I could feel you calling out for me, in pain". Buffy dipped her head in embarrassment, Angel had tried to pull away and she had help onto him like she had some right. She tried to pull away but he didn't move. She was too tired to worry about it now so decided to just go with it.

"It's not your fault Buffy, I can't believe I drank from you. I swore I would never do that again. I thought I was dreaming when I heard your voice but you were there, you found me. I'm so sorry my love. About everything. I don't know what was going on before but I felt like I had no control over myself…with Cordelia. It wasn't till I was losing my mind that I felt like myself again. The minute I tasted your blood it all fell back into place. I'm still so sorry, I wish you hadn't done it."

"Angel, I would do it again in a heart beat to save you. Besides I didn't exactly give you a choice". Buffy glanced away, looking down, suddenly finding the bed sheet extremely interesting. "So you and Cordelia?"

"Buffy there is no me and Cordelia, I don't know what happened. After a hundred years in hell it was still you. A few years in LA isn't going to change things. I love you Buffy".

Buffy wiped the tear from her face and let out a mental sigh of relief. "It's always been you Angel, I love you too".

Angel squeezed her to him, placing a kiss on her forehead. He was still weak and had a lot to sort out in his head but for now, he held his reason for existence close and drifted off to sleep with her.


Two hours later he was strolling through the Hyperion doors. He badly needed a shower and new clothes. He had hated leaving Buffy but he figured she needed her sleep after what he had done to her. Returning to his room felt strange, it was almost exactly as he left it but his mouth quirked up at the corner as he sensed Buffy lightly throughout the room. He took a quick shower and was just doing up the last button of his shirt when he turned around.

"Did you kill her?" Conner's angry voice rang out.

"After what you did, do you really think you're in the position to ask me questions? If I had killed her, part of that blame would fall on your shoulders kiddo. For the record, of course I didn't kill her, I love her. What do you care".

Conner took a deep breath, he knew Angel was mad and that he had every right to be. He was trying to listen to Buffy though and give him the benefit of the doubt. "Buffy is amazing. She really laid things on the line for me and actually took the time to listen".

"Hey, I tried to listen. I tried to be there for you but you wouldn't let me. Then you decided to make me a human…well, vampire submarine so guess what? Ding ding ding you're out of chances. Now get out of my house".

"What?"

"Leave. Go. I'm tired of forcing you to listen to me, of forcing you to be here. So I'm giving you what you want. Leave and I won't follow you and I won't try and 'get to know you' anymore" Angel grabbed some of his stuff and put them in a bag. He had been far too long away from Buffy now and he didn't want her waking up alone. He heard the door click and looked up to an empty room. With a decisive nod he swung his jacket on and followed his son out the door.

He had had a lot of time to think locked in that box. Too much time to think. He had to let Conner go and leave it up to him. It was hard but necessary. He had been through enough and was sick of being the pawn in everyone's game. Reaching the stairs to the lobby he paused to watch and listen to Gunn, Fred and Cordelia grill Wes.

"So you're saying you saw Angel, he's fine, he took off and you don't know where he is?" Gunn asked heatedly.

"Look, I've told you, he's alive he's safe, I think, and he'll come back when he's ready I'm sure"

"You think Wes?" Cordy screeched at him. " You think? We have been looking for him for months, going crazy wondering what has been going on and you just stroll in here after everything and say he's ok. You really expect us to believe that he picks you to go to and not me? Please!"

"I'm not lying Cordelia. Although I have been wondering something for a while. Angel is one of the powers that be best fighters now? One of their champions. Makes me wonder why they never sent you a vision of him. A little clue as to where he was? Nothing?"

"What are you talking about Wes? I haven't had any visions of Angel. I think I'm emotionally traumatised by his disappearance or something".

"Then it would benefit you for him to be back. If it were me I would have done anything in my power to find him, even if it meant leaving everything behind. At least if you cared for him how you say you do. I know someone else who would give up everything for him". Wes spoke calmly inspecting his hands, and waited for the explosion.

"Oh, really Wes, you're going to bring up that blonde skank now? When are you going to get it through to your thick head, Buffy is a loser and she and Angel are over. It's her job to save people but even if I had bothered to tell her Angel was missing, she wouldn't have left her precious new life to look for him. Not that she would have found him when we couldn't so I did Angel a favour. When he comes home we don't have to say that she was here and I don't have to wait months for him to get over his brood to get what I want".

Gunn and Fred looked at Cordy with their mouth open in shock, even Wes was a little taken aback by her response.

"Cordy, you didn't call Sunnydale and tell them about Angel? You said you had. What if they knew something?" Fred's voice shook but she was starting to see Cordelia in a whole new light.

"Well obviously they wouldn't have done because he was locked in a box in the bottom of the ocean!"

"I never told you that Cordelia" Wes spoke quietly as they all turned to look at her.

"What? Yes you did Wes".

"No I told you that I had seen Angel, spoke to him and I think he's ok. I never said where I saw him".

"He's right Cor, he just said he had spoken to Angel" Gunn tightened his grip on the Axe he had been cleaning. Disbelief crossing his features. "What's going on Cordelia?"

"How did you know that" Fred asked, stepping towards Gunn.

"I didn't, I guessed. I mean, I was just making it up for dramatic effect. You know me"

"Funny Cordy, because that's exactly where we found him"

"We? So you did find him. See you did tell us. So you have a new crew Wes? Leaving us behind and have a band of merry followers hanging on your every word like brainless idiots?" Cordy sneered at him, forcing herself not to wipe her sweaty hands and show her nervousness.

"I would say it was more the other way around. Besides, I doubt Buffy would appreciate being called a brainless idiot"

"BUFFY! Buffy? What is she doing here? How did she know? She can't be here, she can't be near him. Oh and now they're off alone together, that's gonna go down well Wes, lets all prepare to throw Angelus a big welcome home party shall we? THIS IS NOT HOW THE PLAN WAS SUPPOSED TO GO!"

Everyone took a step back as Cordy's eyes turned black and her body began to shake slightly.

Angel hopped over the banister to land between them. "So how was it supposed to go?"

"YOU! Why can't you just let that blonde bitch go?"

"Because I love her" Angel motioned for the other three to move back and then looked at Cordy- well at Cordelia's body. All the weird conflicting feelings he had felt last time he saw her had gone now though so the hold she had over him was gone. "So what do I call you 'coz I know for damn sure you're not Cordelia".

"AARRGGHH this vessel is useless now. Listening to you lot whine on and on about your pathetci lives and existance has been a chore let me tell you, I nearly offed myself just to get away from it. With all your pathetic drama and you feelings. God. Mortals are infuriating. Mind you bloodsucker, could you be more pathetic? Still, I'll be going now, it's a shame you would have to kill her to kill me isn't it?"

Wes stepped forward holding a book. "Not necessarily" He began chanting and hoped for the best.

Cordelia's body shook harder and let out a demonic screech as it rose into the air. Her arms were outstretched and her hair turned shock white. With a sudden bang and a flash of light everyone fell to the floor. Angel was up first and over to the body. Cordelia was lying their peacefully, looking like she was sleeping and Angel felt the pang of heartache for his friend.

"Wes, what was that?"

"Extraction. It was the only thing I could think of short notice. Depending on how long that thing was in their, depends on how much of Cordy is left. I would say she's in a coma but I don't know if she'll wake up Angel, I'm sorry"

Angel nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose. A trip to the powers was the last thing he wanted to do right now. Quickly scrawling a list of medical supplies he spoke to the others. "Gunn, Fred? Get her moved up to one of the rooms, not her own, then go to Lorne and get him to get the stuff on this list to us and tell him what's been going on".

"Erm, Angel man? We don't even know what's been going on. Good to have you back though" Gunn slapped him on the shoulder and Fred stepped in for a quick hug.

Ten minutes later Angel and Wes had given a quick run down of what had happened from each of their perspectives. Angel felt another burst of love for Buffy at what she had done to find him and hoped she hadn't woken up yet. He had left a note but would rather he was there. He was done being without her.

"This Buffy chick sounds pretty awesome"

"She is. Now Wes I need you to come with me. I'm going to see the powers to find out what's been going on with Cordy".

"What do we do if Connor shows up Angel?" Fred asked quietly.

"Depends what he's here for. He's not dangerous, you can talk to him if you want to, tell him what happened. Tell him I'll be a couple of hours so he can be gone before I get back". With that, he grabbed something from the cupboard and took off out the door leaving Wes near on jogging to keep up with him.

"Where are we going?"

"To get the mail"


Buffy tossed and turned in her sleep as she was hit by images in her head. They seemed so real. Angel in the sunlight. Angel eating ice-cream, eating ice-cream off of Angel, making love, his heartbeat. Giving it all back.

"I'll never forget!" Buffy shouted as she shot awake, sitting up quickly. She looked around her in confusion as the last few days came back to her. "What?" She recognised the apartment but felt a strange sense of deja-vu waking up alone here. She pulled Angel's sweater on over her head and slid out of bed. As she looked round the apartment she was hit again and again by the images from her dream. "Was it a dream?"

"No Buffy, it wasn't a dream. The selfless oaf really gave it all up"

Buffy swung round and dropped into a defensive position as she saw Cordelia sitting on the sofa filing her nails. Her hair was back to the long wavy mahogany style and she was dressed impeccably.

"Relax Buff, I'm not actually here so I can't hurt you or vice versa. I'm all spiritual and stuff"

"You're dead?"

"Nah, in a coma. There's been some weird stuff going on. A while back I had to make the choice about staying to help Angel and becoming part demon or getting the life of a celebrity, only the deal didn't come from who we thought it did and it seemed it was all a plan to get to Angel and I got shoved out of my own body. Nice right?"

"Jesus Cordy, I'm sorry"

Cordy shrugged. "Not your fault. I'm happy now, I have Doyle here with me too and I get to come deliver kick-ass messages like this"

"What message?"

"Duh! I already told you. It. Wasn't. A. Dream. Thought slayers were supposed to be smart?"

"You may be all spiritual but I bet I'm smart enough to still find a way to kick your ass"

"Just for that, I'm not going to tell you the rest. I'll let you figure it out for yourself. If you have a look in that book just by you, you'll find an address and some instructions. I'll let you find out the rest on your own. Oh and a little heads up, take one of Angel's little knick knacks as a gift. Trust me" With that Cordy waved and disappeared.

Buffy flicked through the book until she found a scrap of paper inside. Picking it up she quickly read it.

"The post office?"


A/N OK ok not my best I know but you guys have been waiting aaagggeeesss so I though I better crack on and get this story done. Only now I've gone and added another damn chapter lol…..ooops. Sorry. Anyway, drop a review and let me know if you want me to finish and what you think might happen and what's going on? Thanks, Vix xxx