Robert walked past Robin and straight into Anna's room. Watching her lying there in bed was driving him crazy. It always had. It was just fundamentally wrong for Anna to be so still. He'd sat this vigil before, but this time he somehow knew that it was different. He could sense her exhaustion. This one wouldn't be quite as easy as all the others. When the hell had they become old and tired? When had putting up a fight ever been in question? He made it to her bedside and sat down admiring just how beautiful his Anna was, perhaps even more beautiful today than thirty years ago. She'd been no more than a child when they'd met in Sean's office, and now she was a woman. She was the mother of his child, and time and experience had matured her. He remembered telling her that men were like wine, that they got character as they aged, but the truth was it was women that were like wine becoming more exquisite and valuable with each passing year. He watched her struggle to open her eyes, why must everything for her always be a struggle? Those eyes. Those eyes that he could still get lost in. Those eyes that haunted him from the moment he left Italy until the moment he saw her again in the States. Those eyes that gave him solace for the fifteen years they were apart after the Faison debacle. Thirty years, and on any given day Anna Devane still took his breath away. She reached out to caress his cheek and he placed his hand on top of hers hoping she could read his thoughts, knowing she could and begging her without a word to fight the good fight one more time.
"You look like hell old man." The first thing Anna saw was his worried face. Lord help her, Robert Scorpio was scared. She'd caressed his cheek in the hopes he'd understand her message. She certainly was not old, but she was older and she was tired. She by no means wanted to die, but she was at a point in her life where she was not quite sure she wanted to live. There was too much pain. When Leora had died, she'd wanted to go with her girl, but she hadn't. Robin needed her too much and she owed Robin her time and dedication, but now Robin was on her feet with a family of her own. It was time for Anna to rest. The constant fight was exhausting and no longer worth it. What had fighting got her in the past? Robert's hatred. Seven years of not being able to be Robin's mommy. Filomena's death. Losing her baby with Duke. Losing Duke. Losing ten years of Robin's life. Losing Bart. Finding out that in her absence Robin had contracted HIV. Losing Leora. Finding out that Robert was alive and hadn't come for them. Almost losing Robert to cancer and winning that fight just to walk into his hospital room and find that he'd left her once again. She'd come to a realization back then. She'd realized that as deeply as she loved him, the only way they'd ever be able to be together was at the end. The final mission would not come until the curtain call. Loss was the theme of her life and she just felt done. His response was to place his hand on top of hers and she instantly felt the war going on inside of him. He wasn't ready to lose her and he was going to go to hell and back to keep her by his side.
"Not looking too hot yourself, Luv." Robert was not about to let her accept defeat so easily, "Trying to check out on me are you? There's better ways of getting my attention sweetheart, and they're infinitely more fun. I'd imagine Mai-Tai's and hot springs beat hospital beds and IV's any day."
"What can I say? You were always a sucker for a damsel in distress."
"Anna…"
"Robert, every hero has his moment." Her words cut him like a knife. Oh Anna, when did this happen to you? When did it become too much? Why didn't I see it sooner?
"I see, and this is yours? What about Robin? What about Emma? What about me?"
Anna had always found this side of Robert somewhat frustrating. There was black and there was white. There was right and there was wrong. Actually, there was his way and there was wrong, and it would appear that he'd decided that her swan song was wrong. Did he not get it? Or did he not care? The seizures had been coming with frightening frequency and intensity since the first round with Noah and Eli Love leaving her drained when they were over. The headaches were back with nauseating fury. The fevers would knock her off her feet for days leaving her in a daze where she hallucinated. She knew it had hurt Robin that she'd been "working" so much and not visiting nearly enough, but she hadn't wanted to go that to their girl. Robin had been through this too many times, and as her mother she knew just how traumatized Robin had been by all the scares. Fifteen years apart had left Robin convinced that every hang nail was the end and somehow her fault. It was time to end the fear and just let go. Keep Robin safe and then hurt her one last time when she got the call to avoid hurting her over and over again for weeks or months or how ever long this ordeal was going to last. She'd let Patrick convince her to come for Valentine's Day and prayed that she'd have a good spell long enough to enjoy her daughter and granddaughter, but it wasn't meant to be. She'd been so happy to see the joy with which her daughter received her and how easily Emma had latched on to her. Just like Robin had been, the child was simply mesmerizing. She'd fought the wave of oncoming pain and the fog that came with getting dragged into the past, but it hadn't been enough. Just as she'd felt her head was literally going to explode, she'd seen the aura and known what was going to happen. She'd wanted to get away from the cottage. She didn't want to scare Robin or her sweet Emma who she'd fought so hard to keep away from the pain and fear that came from being part of a spy's bloodline. She'd felt Robin's gaze stay on her a bit longer than she was comfortable with and known her cover was blown, but faster than she could move she was on the ground. Oh how she hated it. She wasn't sure when she'd stopped losing consciousness, but it made it all the more horrible. The loss of control was terrifying. She was fully aware when her lungs came slamming to a halt. She was fully aware as the convulsions wracked her body. She was fully aware of Emma's screams. She was fully aware as Patrick rolled her to side and held her so that she didn't slam into anything. She was fully aware of his yelling at Robin to call 911. She was fully aware as Robin stared into her eyes with fear and shock. She was fully aware as a neighbor took Emma to her house. She was fully aware as the paramedic started an IV and loaded her into the ambulance. She was fully aware as Robin and Patrick climbed in behind her. She was fully aware of Robin shaking like a leaf, and Patrick stroking her hair and promising her that he was one of his girls and would be okay that he was going to take care of her for her sake, for Robin's, and for Emma's. She was fully aware when she was rushed into an ER cubicle still convulsing and poked and prodded. She was fully aware of just how bad the duration of this seizure was. She was fully aware that there was nothing she could do, and then the drugs kicked in and she'd been blissfully unaware until the moment she felt him.
Now she looked into his eyes, and wondered if it was still enough? She could see the fight in him, and wondered if she'd be able to tap into his strength and find her own fight again. She wondered if he'd ever understand if she couldn't. If he'd understand that it had nothing to do with love. If love were enough, so many things would have been different in their lives starting with Italy. If love were enough, she would have trusted him with the truth. If love her enough, he'd have known that while she'd betrayed him, it had never been her intention to do so.
"I know you're tired," Robert continued, "but it's not time yet. You have to fight the good fight one more time. This isn't your moment. When the time comes it's coming for both of us. It won't be your moment or mine, it will be ours. We've been screwed by life too many times. Star-crossed was coined just for us my love, and it's time to fix that."
"What if we can't?"
"We have to. If not for us, for our daughter and now our granddaughter. She's our chance to get it right. You were born to be a mother. I remember that day in my penthouse when you came to me for help finding Robin and were reunited with her. The image of your face when you heard that little voice say Luv is burned into my mind along with the image of her jumping into your arms with a look on her face that said that now all was right in her world. I still remember how amazed I was by the transformation of the naïve, impetuous, somewhat immature young girl I'd once known. You were cheated, but so was she. She still needs you and so does Emma. That little girl is more Devane than Scorpio or Drake."
Anna took his words to heart, but was still so unsure. She was just so tired and over the constant fight. She was over her child being caught in the middle. She couldn't help but wonder what they'd done to piss off the universe so badly.
