Mondays were slow nights at Stallionz and it was the lowest paying nights. Luckily that meant that he could talk to Justin about earning more money. Justin walked off the stage with a smile on his face.

"Man, I really do love the ladies."

Sam turned in his chair to see the buff man grab a towel and wipe down his abs. "Hey Justin… you mentioned a while back an extra gig you got going on…"

Justin smiled. "Ha ha. I knew you'd get interested. Alright man. You got one last dance in 5 minutes right? After that, shower up and meet me out by the back door."


Sam had a sinking feeling in his stomach as he opened the door to the back alleyway. His mind hadn't been on his dancing at all that night. He knew what Justin did and Sam knew what he was getting into, at least he thought he did.

He saw Justin talking to a small red headed woman who looked about 40, and smoking a cigarette by the dumpster. He slowly walked over, keeping his confidence masking his discomfort with his decision.

Justin spotted Sam and smiled. He held up his index finger to show the redhead to wait a moment while he talked to Sam. He put his arm around Sam's shoulder and took a few steps away from the woman.

"Cool, cool. You're no virgin right man? I mean I've seen your moves on stage, no way you've kept it in your pants."

Sam gave a nervous laugh. "Uh, yeah I've done it a couple times."

"Good... Perfect. So I'm giving you this redhead tonight. She's good money, but you gotta know, usually it's men who are interested in our services. I figured you wouldn't be ready for that."

An alarm went off in Sam's head. There was no way that he wanted to have sex with a man. He could barely stomach what he was about to do with this woman. He nodded and turned to look at the woman.

Justin could see that Sam's confidence was wavering. "Look, she knows how to do this. She'll give the money up front." He placed a condom in Sam's hand and turned him around, walking towards the redhead.

"Gina, this is Sam. I trust you saw his show tonight."

Gina smiled and took Sam's hand. "Oh I saw it. And I have special plans for him."

Sam gave a shy smile and put the condom in his pocket.

"Awe, he's a shy one." Gina laughed playfully and pulled Sam away from Justin and nearer to her.

Sam followed behind her as they walked to the parking lot. He peeked back at Justin and watched him walk towards a tall tan man with curly black hair. Sam turned back around and followed Gina towards the motel that was a block away from the strip club.

As he walked, he continued to get more and more nervous. He found himself digging his fingernails into his palm as he balled his hand into a fist. It calmed him slightly and he tried to just forget that he was being paid for tonight. He even thought up a back story about meeting Gina at the park or something and that she was just a woman who was interested in a normal one night stand.

Gina unlocked the door to her motel room and pulled Sam in. She pushed him against the door as soon as they were in the room. Sam lost himself in the soft, smoky, kiss that Gina demanded from him. She tasted like smoke and vanilla and it was nice enough for Sam to forget about things for a moment. It wasn't until she broke the kiss and walked towards the bed that he remembered what he was actually doing.

She reached down towards her purse near the bed and pulled out a wad of bills.

"I believe $200 is the going rate for the night. Hopefully you can last as long as my normal boys." She smiled and placed the money in his pocket, letting it take the place of the condom as she pulled it out.

Sam took a deep breath as Gina walked back to the bed and sat on the edge. He hadn't lied when he said he'd had sex before. But really, he was only with two girls… He lost his virginity 2 years ago to his girlfriend at the time, and the other girl was Mercedes over the summer.

"Alrighty boy, I want a private show."

Sam took a couple steps closer towards the bed and began his normal routine. He figured that was an easy start. Gina nearly salivated as Sam's body rolled and his muscles flexed.

Once Sam's clothes were off and he was down to his boxers, Gina crooked her finger, motioning for Sam to come close to her. She grabbed his waist and gently outlined his groin. Then, in one swift motion, she pulled his boxers down and watched as his cock slowly started getting hard. Sam's breath hitched as he was suddenly extremely aware that there was a woman handling his cock. He looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes as she opened the condom wrapper. He shuttered slightly as he was surprised when Gina had put the condom on the tip of his penis and unrolled it down his shaft with her mouth.

Once she had made him completely hard, she removed her shirt and bra. He stared at her chest and completely forgot about that $200 that was back in his jeans. Sam knew he had to stop being so tentative. Like it or not, he was doing this. He grabbed Gina by the waist and moved her to the middle of the bed. She lay down as he stepped out of his boxers and then pulled her skirt down. Her lack of panties was not entirely a surprise.

"Oh Sammy! I didn't think you'd take such control." Gina smiled and pulled him down on top of her. He kissed her soft lips again before beginning to move down her body. He spent several minutes at her collarbone before slowly moving down towards her breasts. If she wanted him to last long, he could go on and on with the foreplay. He let his hands follow the curves of her body until she reached down and took his face in her hands.

"Just fuck me already."

He was hesitant as he repositioned himself but she didn't notice. For 45 minutes Sam tried to focus on her. Lasting as long as she wanted wasn't a problem for Sam tonight. He was so caught up in his own head that he couldn't enjoy sex the way he normally would have. He wanted to enjoy this. The woman was really good looking for her age. Her red hair contrasted her soft pale skin and her curves left nothing to be desired. He just didn't know her. He had no connection to her except this physical need that his body picked up. She didn't even know him; she just liked how his abs were hard and his body young and willing. His thoughts were only interrupted by her moans of pleasure. Apparently he was doing something right. As he could feel her tighten beneath him, he got out of his head for a moment to make sure he could finish off for her. He came directly after her orgasm rippled through her body.

He rolled off of her and lay on his back beside her. "That's… why I love doing it with strippers." Gina finally breathed out.

Sam stayed emotionless and was startled as he felt her get up from the bed a moment later.

"Alright. Well. That was lovely. The room is booked for another hour, so you can clean up or do whatever. I gotta get home to my husband." She stated bluntly and began to redress herself.

Sam opened his eyes but didn't move. He didn't say anything as she straightened herself up in the mirror and left the motel room. Once the door was shut, he slowly sat up. He stared around the room and could see the evidence of the night. His clothes were strewn around the room and the condom wrapper was on the floor by the bed. He stared at his jeans and remembered what was in the pocket. He suddenly couldn't breathe. The room seemed too small and he felt he was coming out of his own skin. He got out of the bed quickly and walked to the bathroom.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror and wondered when he had given up on himself. He went so far for his family and there was no going back now. He was disgusting and he didn't want to ever see himself again. Before he could understand what he was doing, his hand had formed into a fist and the mirror was smashed. He watched the cheap motel mirror shatter and blood start to come to the surface of his knuckles. Sam dropped to his knees at the toilet and vomited everything in his stomach, which was only a protein shake and a couple glasses of water.

After a couple of dry heaves, he sat on the edge of the bathtub and began to cry. He hated everything that had led him to making this decision. He noticed he was still wearing the condom and he finally took it off and threw it into the toilet. He stood up and flushed the toilet before staring at the shattered glass littering the sink and counter. He picked up the biggest piece and couldn't stop the tears from falling. He walked back to the bed and sat down. The actions he takes next are ones he would never be able to explain.

He closed his hand around the piece of glass and slowly brought it to his inner thigh. He stared at himself as he seemed to watch his hand instinctively create 7 straight cuts high enough that they wouldn't interfere with his job. As he watched the blood bubble out of the cuts and drip down his thigh, he began to feel more like himself. He dropped the bloody shard of mirror onto the floor and sighed. He didn't realize the intensity of what he'd just done; instead he smiled and lay back down on the bed. He glanced over at the clock and noticed he only had 15 minutes until the room was no longer paid for. He also had to get home. It was nearly 2 AM and while he knew he could play it off as being with friends, he really did hate lying to his family.

He sat for about another 7 minutes. The shallow cuts he had made had stopped bleeding, but there was no hiding the pooled blood on the blanket. He didn't care though. He just knew he needed to go. He quickly threw on his clothes and walked back into the bathroom. He couldn't go home looking like…well, looking like a two dollar hooker, even if that's how he felt.

He splashed water on his face and washed the blood off of his hands. When he looked up, he realized he'd shattered the mirror and he couldn't even see how he looked. But in the end, he really didn't care. He made sure he still had his keys and wallet before leaving the motel room that he vowed he'd never return to.

Walking home felt good. The cool breeze was just what he needed. He quietly unlocked the door and kept the lights off as he walked towards his shared bedroom. He reached for the doorknob when he realized he couldn't go in there and share a bed with his baby brother after what he'd just done. He turned around and walked back towards the couch. He needed a shower. He wished he'd taken one at the motel, but now he'd have to wait. He curled up on the couch and fell asleep, hoping that he wouldn't wake up.

A/N: So there is a lot more coming, but please let me know what you think so far. I didn't really feel like writing a sex scene so I hope it came across okay. The semantics of sex don't really fit in with the story because the actions aren't as important as how Sam was feeling during it. Just let me know. I've only written one other story before, so I'm open to anything you guys have to say. Thanks.