Ch. 3: It's Gonna Be Me

A/N: School started and I'm kinda busy sorry for the delay! Well I'm sick so that's a plus and the reason why this chapter exists. The song is comin from Nick point of view and I reveal why Sara was crying!

Disclaimer: I still promise that I do not own Nsync or CSI unfortunately cuz if I did…Snickers for everyone!

Nick sat across from Sara as they ordered their food, Sara fidgeted nervously, it was now or never. Nick waited patiently, they weren't going anywhere and she would talk when she was ready. One thing he learned was to never push Sara; she will do what she wants when she is good and ready. He could tell that she was struggling to figure out exactly how to say what she needed to say. He knew it took a lot of patience to break down the walls Sara built around herself but he knew she was worth every minute spent trying to do exactly that. He knew that it took a lot for her to trust anyone especially someone of the opposite sex, first the whole Grissom deal happened, and he was crazy enough to turn down something Nick would kill for the opportunity to have, the love of Sara Sidle. After that the disastrous Hank incident in which he pretty much used her then tossed her out like last week's garbage. He could tell that even before he knew her something happened but little did he know what Sara was going to reveal to him now.

You might been hurt, babe
That ain't no lie
You've seen them all come and go, oh
I remember you told me
That it made you believe in
No man, no cry
Maybe that's why
Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally
Get to love somebody
Guess what
It's gonna be me

Sara searched her intelligent mind for the right words to explain the horrific events in her past, but couldn't, no matter how she tried to explain it, it sounded bad. So she figured honesty is the best policy and that it would be easier just to tell him everything straight out. Quick and painless like a Band-Aid, except long and emotionally exhausting, she thought to herself. She had to tell him now or she was never going to do it.

"Nick you know how I always get too emotionally involved with domestic violence cases?" She asked taking in a deep breath, here goes nothing. He nodded as he piled bacon and eggs into his mouth.

"There is a very good reason, I never told anyone this except Grissom because he forced me to and even then I didn't tell him everything." She babbled on putting off the things she really needed to be saying. Nick was patient and listened to her babbling waiting for the real reason she was telling him all of this.

You've got no choice, babe
But to move on, and you know
There ain't no time to waste
So just do right, do see
But in the end, yanno it's gonna be me
You can't deny
So just tell me why

"Well when I was younger my dad used to beat my mom senseless…" Sara held back tears that she knew were coming, while Grissom just watched as she fell apart, Nick placed his hand on hers, now completely ignoring his food, comforting her and encouraging her to go on.

Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally
Get to love somebody
Guess what
It's gonna be me
There comes a day
When I'll be the one, you'll see
"After awhile he started hitting us too," Sara saw his confused look and elaborated, "Me and my brother, Ray. He sexually, verbally, and physically abused me" Sara started rattling off the details emotionally detached from her story but then she seemed to talk as if were yesterday. "I guess my mom was sick of being abused so one night they were fighting, I hide under my bed hoping that my father wouldn't look for me. Then I heard them arguing and I could tell that he was hitting her and she was fighting back. I heard him come into my room and I just froze under my bed praying that he didn't find me. Then I heard my mom come in too. I saw the whole thing, my mom stabbed him, she stabbed my father right in front of me. His screams were the worst thing I ever listened to. But once he was dead, she didn't stop, something snapped inside of her. She was taking out years of frustration and putting up with his abuse and she just snapped. The fact that she was abused for that long was probably one of the reasons she didn't get the death penalty." Sara finished her horrific story. Tears flowed freely down her face as Nick tried to comfort her the best he could.

All that I do is not enough for you
Don't wanna lose it
But I'm not like that
When finally
You get to love
Guess what?
It's gonna be me

"Sar, how come you never told anyone?" Nick asked hurt that she would keep something like this to herself for that long. But he knew he had to tell her his secret from his past now, he couldn't let her believe that while she was growing up in hell he was having this perfect childhood.

"I was afraid that every time someone looked at me they would just see my past, I was scared that maybe you wouldn't want to be friends or something anymore and I couldn't risk our friendship, you have no idea what you mean to me Nicky," Sara confessed as Nick prepared to tell her about his past.

"Sara, I would never stop talking to you because of your past, you mean the world to me. I know that you think that I had this perfect cookie cutter childhood but I can't let you believe that you are the only person with abuse in your past. I never told anyone except Catherine this and I only told her because of a case." Nick took a deep breath and started to talk, it was his turn. "She was a last minute babysitter, my parents had gone out and I was lying in my bed, she molested me. I felt dirty, I was too ashamed to tell anyone and if I had my way I probably never would have told anyone." Tears fell from both of their eyes as they comforted each other.

Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally
Get to love somebody
Guess what
It's gonna be me

"Nicky I had no idea" Sara had moved over next to Nick as she pulled him into a hug she figured she should tell him the reason she was crying in the locker room earlier. "She's getting out" The statement caught Nick by surprise.

"Your mom? What are you going to do?"

"She wrote me a letter, she wants to see me, but I don't know if I can. She killed my father so he wouldn't hurt me anymore. I think I owe it to her to see her at least once. You know I haven't seen her since I testified at her trial. I don't know if I can do alone though."

"I'll go with you if that's what you want."

"You will? Are you sure Nick I don't want to put you out or anything."

"Sara I'm positive, besides you would do the same for me right?" Sara broke into her one of a kind smile and pulled him into a hug. She barely suppressed the urge to kiss him as he pulled her against his hard body. "Now are you gonna eat those pancakes or do I have to help you?" Nick smiled back at her wishing he could kiss that smirk right off her face.

"Don't even think about it cowboy you might get a finger bitten off" The pair laughed and flirted back to their regular routine.

Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally
Get to love somebody
Guess what
It's gonna be me

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