So a lot of you didn't approve of Jesse's actions. Well here's your explanation...
Enjoy!
"Oh Jesse. You're so good at that."
I ignored Cassie, but kept going. Although she wasn't my first choice, or any of my choices, I couldn't stop. No seventeen year old boy should have to go this long without any kind of release. It's gotten so bad I wake up feeling sick to my stomach.
"God," I moaned as she moved her hips against mine. "Oh god...Ellie."
Cassie laughed airily. "It's Cassie, hun."
Her laughter caused her to wiggle slightly. "Oh my god," I moaned, burying my face in her neck. "You're so amazing, Ellie."
Cassie stopped. "It's Cassie," she said a little more forcefully. I growled, annoyed that she'd stopped what we were doing. I already felt like shit for doing this, I didn't need a long enough gap for my conscious to tear me a new one.
"I know what I said," I growled, leaning back in. She pushed me back, glaring at me as she struggled out of my arms and got back on her feet.
"You'd rather be with the monster over me!" she shrieked accusingly, pointing at me. I grabbed her wrist and bent it.
"Ellie is more human than anyone," I hissed before shoving her away and storming off.
My head pounded as I made my way back to the house. I felt sick, sicker than usual. Normally it was just an upset stomach and a headache. Now I felt like I could empty my guts all over the road. Ellie and I weren't even together and yet I felt like I've cheated on her. I guess my heart and my stomach was more in sync then I thought cause the next thing I knew, my lunch was painting the road.
I have to tell her. I have to tell her what I did with Cassie and how I can't keep going like this. Either I have to be with Ellie, or die trying.
By the time I reached the house I was sweating bullets. "Nothing you haven't dealt with before," I grumbled to myself as I reached to open the door. Black spots coated my vision and suddenly I was seeing double. "That's new."
I pushed open the door and entered the house and called out. "Ellie?" I didn't get a reply but I heard the upstairs floorboards creak. I moved towards the stairs.
"I wouldn't."
I stopped at the voice. Joel was standing in the kitchen, doing the dishes. I could see him through the open shutters. He had his usual stony face on and I couldn't tell if he was glaring or not.
"Why?" I demanded, leaning on the banister.
"She's upset. Came back cryin'."
"Who made her cry?" I asked hotly.
"I dunno." He put down the plate he was drying and locked our eyes. "But it was after she went out lookin' for you."
"I would never make Ellie cry," I managed to get out.
"I'm not sayin' you did. I'm just warnin' you." I had a feeling Joel's words had a double meaning. Without another word I climbed the stairs and took the few wobbly steps to Ellie's room.
I knocked. "Ellie?"
"Go away!" her voice cracked and I could hear her sobbing.
"Ellie what's wrong?" I asked through the door.
"I said go away Jesse! I don't want to talk to you!"
"I don't care. Now tell me before I come in there and make you," I warned. I didn't get an answer so I opened the door. The room was dark, except for the orange rays peaking in from the window behind Ellie's bed. They illuminated a curled up figure on the bed.
"Get out," she whimpered.
"Not until you tell me what's wrong," I said, softer this time as I approached the bed.
Her head lifted. "You want to know what's wrong?" Her voice was cold.
"Yeah. That's why I'm here," I answered back.
In a flash she was on her feet, pushing me against the wall. "Go ask Cassie!" she spat.
I felt like ice was slowly starting to form in my stomach. "W-What?"
"Actually I saw more than enough," she continued, coming closer. "Did it feel good? Getting to kiss Cassie like that. Would you have gone further? Don't let me stop you," she spat, turning to go back to her bed.
I grabbed her wrist. "Ellie it's not what you think." I tried to explain
"And what do I think Jesse? Do I think that maybe you were full of it when you said I was the only girl you'll ever kiss?"
"Ellie you have to hear me out," I said, one hand clutching my head. All the yelling wasn't helping, but I wasn't going to keep the full story from Ellie.
"No I don't!" she snapped and tried to pull away. My head was pounding, my stomach was flipping but I wasn't letting her get away.
"You know what?" I said, my voice raising. "You stopped any chance we had. You were the one who shot me down before we'd even tried. I told you that I was in love with you, and you said no."
"Because I can't be the one who kills you," she cried, tears spilling over. "You think this is all easy on me? I have to live with the reason. You can still have a life. I can't."
"I can have a life?" I repeated, the pain stopping for a split second. "You think I can still have a life? Ellie I haven't had a life for two years."
"Sorry I'm such a pain for you," she spat.
"You are worse than a pain Ellie," I hissed back, unthinking. "You're a fuckin' poison. You've dominated my every thought since we met. I can't eat, sleep. I could throw up right now just cause of you."
"You said it was impossible not to love me. I guess that was all bull too huh?" She was panting with how much we had been screaming at each other and I was surprised Joel hadn't come upstairs by now.
"I meant every word I said about you. I loved you then and I'm still in love with you now, which is why I was with Cassie!"
Her eyes narrowed. "You really must think I'm an idiot."
"No but you're comin' close right now!" I yelled in reply before I grabbed her and pulled her to me. I kissed her without thought, thrusting my tongue into her mouth and taking all she had kept from me for two years. She tasted far better than Cassie and I moaned deeply. She clutched me tightly, reciprocating my every move, until she seemed to come to her senses and pushed me back.
Her hand cracked against my cheek so hard that I stumbled back. My head hit the door, doubling the amount of black spots while a warm sensation flared to life on my cheek before trickling to my neck. Ellie looked a little surprised herself, but quickly pulled her glare back on.
I touched the blood that was running from the cut. I felt woozy and reached for something to support myself on. My hand slipped over the door knob and I stumbled.
"Jesse?"
"Can I just...can I si-" I took a step and Ellie moved back. I tried to take another and my knee buckled.
"Jesse?" Ellie cried as I failed to stop myself falling. I couldn't stop myself falling and I hit the hardwood floor. "Oh my god, Joel!"
I heard footsteps pound the stairs before the door burst open. "What hap-"
"Jesse collapsed! We were fighting and he just dropped!"
I felt soft hands turn me over. Ellie's face was blurry. Joel's face appeared behind hers. "Oh he doesn't look so good. Come on."
It was as he was lifting me up that I lost consciousness.
Dun Dun Duuuuuhhhh! What's wrong with Jesse?! Feel free to put your guesses in your reviews *Cough* *Cough*
Review!
