Noelle had little time to think of the consequences of her actions. Her anxiety over Sirius going home occupied every available thought. Having Nicolette there also kept her distracted. Noelle was a very private person, and deeply valued her alone time. She never gave much thought to sharing a room with Lily, but something about having one of her oldest friends there forced her to be more honest with herself. Old friends can make that happen. Since they have known you for so long, they have seen you change and mature, and they rarely allow you to live in a fantasy world. Noelle pondered this on one of her usual early morning rides.

After one of these rides, as Noelle was finishing storing Orage's tack, Nicolette came to the stables to meet her.

"Bon matin." Noelle called over her shoulder.

"Good morning to you too." Nicolette replied as she leaned against the stall door.

"Today is the day, n'est-ce pas?"

Slowly Noelle turned to face her friend.

"Oui. He leaves today." She said heavily.

"Noelle, every thing will be fine. He is a big boy, you know."

"I know. But he is so unlike anyone in his family, and I can't bear to think of them annoying him. He's more sensitive than he ever shows."

"You must really care for him then."

Noelle looked slightly surprised.

"Of course I do."

Nicolette took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she was about to say.

"Then why is Olivier still writing to you?"

Noelle's breath caught in her throat as she clutched the strap of Orage's bridle. How could Nicolette have known that she was in contact with Olivier? Was nothing personal in her life? She slowly pivoted to face her friend. Nicolette was holding an envelope in her hand.

"What is that?" Noelle asked, desperately trying to keep her composure.

"It's a letter from Olivier. Etoile just dropped it off in the bedroom, so I picked it up to bring to you. I'd recognize his handwriting anywhere." She held out the envelope. Noelle reached for it and shoved it deep into her pocket.

"Relax Noelle. I'm not going to tell Sirius about it, but I thought you might need to talk to someone."

"There is nothing to talk about."

"Noelle, he was a jerk to you! How could you risk losing all that you have with Sirius?"

Noelle's navy eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I'm not risking anything, and I resent you implying that I am. There is no harm is keeping in contact with an old friend."

"He's more than an old friend, Noelle."

"So what? So what if I'm writing to him?" Noelle exploded. "I'm sick and tired of everyone sticking their faces in my personal business. Don't I have a right to some privacy?"

Nicolette was taken aback at the force of Noelle's anger. She had never seen her friend get so upset over such a simple conversation. Noelle pushed forward.

"Noelle, wait!" Nicolette reached for her friend's arm. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, or who you can talk to, but I don't want to see you get hurt again. Olivier is not the one for you, and you know it. He'll never care for you the way Sirius does."

Noelle ducked her head briefly and covered her eyes. She took a few deep breaths and slowly turned to face her friend.

"I appreciate your concern, Nicolette, but please let me handle this." She said in an even voice.

Leaving Nicolette speechless behind her, she strode towards the main house, her hand over the pocket which contained Olivier's letter.

Once she was settled in the observation tower, she pulled the letter out of her pocket and slid her finger under the flap. With her hands trembling, she carefully unfolded it and began to read. Olivier's relief seemed to drip from his handwriting.

My dear Noelle,

When I received your letter, my heart began to beat out of control. Without even knowing what may be written inside, I rushed outside until I was at our spot. Do you remember how much time we spent at that bend in the river, where the water tumbles over the rocks in a small waterfall? My favorite memory of you and me at that spot was the day we had lunch there, right before you told me about your illness. You were staring at the waterfall, and you looked so serious. When I asked you what was wrong, you looked at me with so much pain in your eyes that I felt a physical ache as well. You told me that you wished you could be that water, and just run over the rocks all day and never have to stop. Never have to answer to anyone about your whereabouts, or worry about anything at all. I took you in my arms and you cried against my shoulder for what seemed like hours. Somehow, I felt closer to you then I had ever felt to anyone.

When I read your letter, I could feel your confusion. I understand the conflict you must feel right now. Noelle, I want nothing but the best for you, but I need you to understand that without you, I am less than whole. Nothing is good anymore. The only comfort I have is your memory, and until I see you again, that will have to do. I love you Noelle.

Always yours,

Olivier

Noelle folded the letter and drew her knees to her chest. Of course she remembered that day. That bend in the river could be her favorite spot in the planet. That day was one of the worst of her life. She recalled thinking how ironic it all was. She had stared at the river, falling carelessly over the sharp boulders, wishing desperately that she was the water, so she would travel through the twists and bends, with nothing to ever stop her or harm her. She had stared so long and hard that Olivier had gotten nervous. She was quick to reassure him that there was nothing amiss, but it had been a lie. She remembered his arms around her and how he had tried to comfort her, but she found no comfort that day.

The memories of that day were washing over her and she couldn't hold them back. It was if by opening his letter, her past was coming back to her as if it were the present. She tried to regain control over herself. Sirius needed her today. She couldn't afford to be selfish while he was pretending to be strong. She needed to be strong for both of them.

Slowly she pushed herself to her feet and slid the letter into the waistband of her riding breeches. Pulling her jacket over the top of her breeches, she checked to be sure the letter was well hidden. She slowly descended the stairs back to her room. Cold water on her face helped calm her flushed cheeks and a few drops of Visine did away with her red eyes. She smoothed back her dark blonde hair and smiled at herself in the mirror. Her lips quivered at the corners once and then the smile held firm. Satisfied that no one would be able to read her true thoughts, she hurried out of the room.

The boys were in the cavernous foyer of James' house. They were playfully shoving each other and joking around loudly, but Noelle knew it was mostly for show. Nicolette was standing off to the side, watching them with a curious smile on her face. Noelle, who was quite accustomed to their antics, pasted a bright smile on and strode across the marble floor.

"May I have a moment with Sirius before he goes?" she asked flirtatiously.

Sirius bowed dramatically. "Of course you may, milady."

James and Remus started laughing hysterically as Sirius led Noelle to a small parlor off of the entryway.

"Cheering Charms?" Noelle asked knowingly.

Sirius smiled bashfully.

"Yeah, a couple. It was a great idea that Moony had. I feel great; I'm not nervous at all."

Noelle stood on her tiptoes and pecked him gently on the lips.

"Be careful. I will miss you so much." She whispered softly. "And you know if you need me, or James, or any of us, we'll come get you."

"Noelle, I'll be fine, I promise." He leaned down and kissed her sweetly. "But I am going to miss you more than words can even describe." His grey eyes darkened. "Are you going to be alright without me?"

"Of course. Nicolette is here, and Lily will be here soon. And you know that I get along wonderfully with James and Remus. I will be fine. I swear."

"If you need me, owl me. I'll move heaven and earth to get to your side."

"I love you Sirius."

"I love you Noelle."

They embraced tightly amidst catcalls and whistles from the foyer.

"Alright, alright. Enough, we get the point." Sirius said irritably.

Noelle walked over to where Nicolette was standing.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier." She whispered.

"Forget it, I already did." The tall brunette smiled down at her, but there was something in her eyes that made Noelle a little nervous. The door chimes sounded and silence fell over the hall.

"That'll be my dad." Sirius said, trying to sound light. He pulled the door open to reveal a tall stately man wearing deep green robes that were almost black. Noelle's practiced eye could tell that they were of an extremely expensive cut and material. Once she raised her gaze from his clothing she focused on his face.

He had blue eyes that were so bright they looked almost false. His dark hair was the same color and texture of his son's and they shared many of the same facial features. He was an exceedingly handsome man, not unlike his son, and somehow this took Noelle by surprise. She had been expecting someone more rough and brutish, since Sirius and James' descriptions were usually less than flattering. He stepped into the foyer and shot his cuffs.

"Well, son, are you ready to go?" he asked smoothly.

"Father, this is Noelle Lemieux. My girlfriend that I have told you about." Sirius said with a certain affectation that Noelle had never heard him use.

Noelle stepped forward and extended her hand gracefully as she had been taught to do when she was a very small girl.

Alistair Black's eyes ran up and down Noelle's slim figure very much the same way that his youngest son's had done and Noelle felt slightly dirty.

"Congratulations son, she is quite beautiful." He said, taking Noelle's hand in his own and bending to kiss her fingers. Resisting the urge to pull her hand away, Noelle smiled charmingly, thanking her years of etiquette training.

Mr. Black stood to his full height and nodded to James and Remus.

"James, Remus. It is a pleasure to see you again."

Both boys only nodded in response, knowing full well the torture that this man had inflicted on their best friend for years.

"Sirius, we really must be going. Your mother is anxious to see you."

Sirius nodded and flicked his wand at his trunk. It instantly shrunk into a pocket sized case, and he slipped it into his robes. He turned to James and Remus and shook each of their hands firmly, their eyes saying what their voices couldn't. He embraced Nicolette lightly and kissed her cheek. When he turned to face Noelle, his bottom lip was shaking slightly, but he stiffened it when he felt his father's eyes on him. He took her hands into his and squeezed them tightly.

"I love you so much." He mouthed to her.

"I love you too." She mouthed back.

He hugged her tightly, fiercely, as if he might never see her again. She gripped him just as tight until Mr. Black cleared his throat disapprovingly. Sirius stepped away and stood at his father's side. With his eyes locked on Noelle, he Disapparated with a sharp crack. Noelle groaned deeply at the thought of being without him for so long, and before Nicolette could catch her, she had slid to the marble floor.

She came to with her head in Nicolette's lap and James slapping her face gently. She brushed his hands away and tried to sit up. The blood rushed to her head and she fell back slightly. Her eyes blinked slowly in an attempt to clear her vision.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked.

She nodded, not trusting her voice.

"I just want to be alone for a moment." She struggled to her feet and wobbled toward the stairs.

"Leave her be. She'll be alright." She heard Nicolette say softly behind her.

She made her way to her bedroom and collapsed on her bed in a torrent of sobs. It was only for two weeks, she could do this. She rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Nicolette had been right. What was she doing, writing to Olivier? He had brought her nothing but heartache recently. He used to be the only thing that mattered to you, a little voice said in her head. But that was before he had betrayed her. He doesn't love you. If he did, he never would have told Colin all that was sacred between you and him. She shook her head violently to stop the voices. Turning so she was lying on her side, she reached for a pillow. She could barely make out the scent of Sirius' cologne on the case. She breathed it in deeply and closed her eyes.

Instead of Sirius, visions of Olivier clogged her mind. The night that he had been helping her with her Defense Against the Dark Arts in an unused classroom at Beauxbatons and she had finally managed to conjure a Patronus. She had been so excited and once it had faded, she spun to face him, giddily happy with herself. Pride had been spread across his face. He was proud of her and she flung herself into his arms in happiness. He had hugged her tightly and spun her around in circles until they were both dizzy. When they had stopped, she tilted her head up to smile at him, and he had kissed her soundly right on the lips. She had been so shocked that she couldn't even kiss him back. He had pulled away slightly, worrying that he had done something that she hadn't wanted. His fears had been erased when she had tugged his head back down and kissed him back.

Noelle swallowed as this memory faded. She didn't love Olivier, she loved Sirius. Why had he written to her? Why couldn't he just let what they had had die, as she had tried to let it do?

Downstairs, James, Remus and Nicolette were eating lunch on the back patio. There wasn't much talking between the three, seeing as how each was pre-occupied with the events of the morning.

"Do you think Noelle's going to be okay?" James asked Nicolette.

"Oui, she'll be fine. Once she calms down and realizes that it is only for two weeks."

"But they really haven't been apart for this long before. Not since they became serious about each other."

"Then this will be good for them. Absence makes the heart grow fonder." She answered sensibly with a sly gaze over at Remus, who blushed deeply.

"I worry about her sometimes. Some days, she's perfectly normal, but then others…" James' voice trailed off.

"She's barely with it." Remus finished.

Nicolette thought hard, choosing her words carefully before she spoke.

"Noelle is a complicated person. She's stronger than she knows, but everyone has always treated her as if she were very fragile. But she always manages to pull through. This will be no different. She'll be fine."

"Well, for both their sakes, I hope you're right. Anyway, Lily will be here this afternoon. She's the only one that can talk sense into Noelle anyhow." James said.

Nicolette's brown eyes darkened slightly.

"I've been Noelle's best friend since we were both very small. I think I know her a little better than any of you do." She said, sounding put out.

"Oh, I know. But Lily's better at talking to Noelle than any of us are, meaning Remus, Sirius and I." James quickly said, realizing that he had hurt Nicolette's feelings.

"Well, boys will never be better at understanding girls than other girls are. That's just a given." Nicolette said with a smile.

James laughed and tossed his napkin on the table.

"I need to go talk to the house elves about dinner tonight. I want them to make something special for Lily, and I think that Noelle might need some comfort food as well." He rose and went into the house, leaving Remus and Nicolette alone on the patio.

"James didn't mean to offend you, Nicky." Remus said, taking her hand.

"Oh, I know. But I know Noelle, and she'll cry and pout for a little while, and then she'll be fine."

"Do you think she really should be alone right now?"

"I wouldn't want anyone around right now." She rubbed his fingers gently. "Besides, I would like a little alone time with you now."

"Anything you want."

He leaned over and kissed her softly. She reached up and twirled her fingers in his light brown hair.

"Let's go for a walk."

He stood and held his hand out.

"I know just the place."

Noelle was still lying prostrate on her bed, too weak from crying to go find her friends, and far too emotional to try to pretend that all was well. She gazed out the window at the blue sky. The sun had slowly made its way over the house and was now headed behind the trees. Soon, the stars would be out, and she would be able to sneak away to the observation tower to stargaze and think about Sirius. She hoped desperately that things were going well for him at home, knowing that even if they weren't, he would lie to them and say they were. Feeling something poking her in the back, she reached into the waistband of her breeches and removed Olivier's letter.

She held it in her hands, part of her saying to tear it up and throw it away, and another part of her wanting to hide it with her most treasured possessions. What she should do is write to him and tell him to stop writing to her. She should tell him that she didn't want him anymore, that she didn't dream of him at night, and that she had forgotten all of the tender moments that they had shared. Closing her eyes to keep a fresh supply of tears in, she knew she could never do that. He was as much a part of her as Sirius was, even though she tried to deny it. She pulled her wand out and summoned parchment and a quill to her on the bed. As quietly as she could, she scratched off a reply.

Lily tugged at her trunk until it popped out from under her seat on the train. She smoothed her long red hair away from her face and bounced down the stairs onto the platform. She wished that she could just Apparate to James' house, but she wouldn't be seventeen until September. Once she was outside, she quickly hailed a cab to take her through downtown Manchester to the outskirts where James' lived. Seated in the back, she felt herself growing more and more excited as the cab drew her closer. Something about the month she had spent without her friends had made her admit something to herself. Okay, the month that she had spent away from James Potter. Not that she didn't miss Noelle, and Remus, and even Sirius, but she had missed James so much that she had talked her parents into letting her come a week early. The cab drew to a halt in the wide circular driveway that curved in front of James' house. She slowly exited the cab and climbed the marble stairs. Taking a deep breath, she rang the chimes.

James pulled the door open with a huge grin on his handsome face. Without saying a word, he pulled Lily into his arms and kissed her soundly on the mouth. Taken by surprise, she stood with her mouth hanging open as James reached behind her to pay the driver and take her trunk. He closed the door and dropped her trunk at the foot of the stairs, where a pair of house elves hefted it to their shoulders to bring upstairs.

"Nice to see you too, Lil." James said with a smirk.

"That was quite a welcoming." She managed to say.

He leaned over and kissed her smooth cheek. "I missed you, Lily."

"Oh, James, I missed you more than I ever thought I would." She said without thinking. When she realized what she had just admitted, she blushed a deep crimson.

James smiled deeper and took her hand as they followed the elves up the stairs. He squeezed it gently and gazed into her deep green eyes.

"How's everyone?" Lily asked, trying to cover her nervousness.

"Sirius left this morning, Remus and Nicolette are off somewhere, probably making out in the garden."

"And Noelle? How is she?"

"She's not doing too well since Sirius left. I think she's sleeping."

"Oh Lord. She must be a mess."

"Kinda." James said with a small smile. "I'll let you go in and talk to her." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and opened the bedroom door for her.

Noelle was curled on her side, still clutching the pillow that smelled like Sirius. Her shoulders were shaking slightly every so often with silent sobs. Lily looked back at James and he nodded at her. She smiled and he closed the door. Lily approached her best friend and laid a hand on her thin shoulder.

Noelle felt a hand touch her shoulder and followed it up to Lily's concerned face. Relief washed over her when she saw Lily standing next to the bed and she sat up. Without saying a word, Lily opened her arms and Noelle fell into them, clutching her tightly and starting to cry all over again.