Love, Aerith

Chapter 3: Fireworks

Dear Aerith,

First of all I'm really sorry I haven't been able to reply to you sooner but things have been quite hectic lately. We have moved from Wutai and are headed to Nibelheim, a small town in the mountains. We have some things we need to investigate there, boring stuff.

How long has it been? Six months since I left…I still don't know when I'll be able to come back to Midgar but as soon as I find out the first thing I'll do is let you know. Or who knows, maybe someday sooner than you think I'll pop out of nowhere and tap on your window to surprise you. Until then, please wait for me, I promise I'll come back for you.

I miss you.

Yours truly,

Zack

Aerith neatly folded the letter in her hands and put it back inside the envelope. She cleaned the tears out of her eyes and tried to smile as she breathed in the scent of the paper she was holding as if trying to find a trace of his smell in it, the faintest as it could be. But of course it was no use. There was nothing in there that smelled like Zack.

That had been the last letter she got from him.


"At first… It bothered me how you two looked exactly alike." Aerith sat on the bench from the Midgar sand park. She hadn't been there for a long time and it felt strange to her, sitting there without him next to her. It felt even stranger to be sitting there, on their bench, next to Cloud. "Everything in you reminded me of him… The way you talk, gestures, even how you walk. Every time I looked at you, I saw him."

Cloud remained silent, just listening to her speaking and he didn't look at her as she spoke, he just kept staring forward avoiding her gaze.

"But then… I realized just how different you were." Aerith looked up at the night sky with a tiny smile on her face remembering the good times she had spent with him on that same park. "Things are different now. Because, now when I look at you, I don't see him anymore." She turned to face him, her eyes were filled with tears as he noticed them glittering by the faint light illuminating the park, but the smile was still on her lips.

"You're much more than what I see in the surface and I'm searching for you Cloud. Things are much different than what I thought in the beginning. I didn't want to be around you because I was afraid I couldn't let go of him. I know it was very unfair for you. But I couldn't help feeling this way. I really truly loved him." Aerith sobbed and cleaned her eyes letting out a soft laughter. "I was so silly. I was so chained to him that I didn't see what was in front of my eyes. You, not him. But I see you now, Cloud. And I want to meet you. I want to forget about everything and start over. I'm sorry for what I've done."

"You don't have to apologize for anything." Cloud said smoothly, his voice was soft, understanding. "Maybe I was going too fast. I should apologize to you and not otherwise."

"You had no idea what was going on inside me." Aerith shook her head. "But I couldn't imagine that you..." Had feelings for me...She thought to herself.

"To tell you the truth… I don't know what got into me as well." Cloud spoke not turning to look at her. "I never felt this way for a girl before. Ever." He paused for one moment just thinking and Aerith looked down biting her lower lip apprehensively. So this is what was bothering her. Such a beautiful smile hiding a troubled soul. He thought silently.

"What happened to him?" Cloud was curious to know.

"He left to go on a mission. He was a SOLDIER first class just like you." More tears came pouring down her green eyes. "When he stopped writing to me I imagined the most surreal things had happened. He had found someone else better than me, he just lost interest, I don't know, but it was killing me little by little inside. He had been gone for two years when I finally heard he had been killed. He was my first love. It was really hard to accept that he was gone. Almost two years later here I am again. Miserable. I didn't want to believe it was true, that he had… died."

"I see…" Cloud wanted to wipe away the tears from her cheeks. It hurt him seeing her eyes sore, puffy and red from her fingers brushing against the bottom of her eyes to clean the tears. But what could he do? He had never been in a situation close to that. But he understood her pain, he had lost someone dear to him as well not so long ago. "What was his name? It's ok if you don't want to tell me." He didn't want to hurt her anymore.

"Zack. Zack Fair." She said and she realized in surprise it was the first time in almost four years she had spoken his name out loud.

"What?" Cloud whispered in shock, his face turned pale as bone. His eyes widened as he looked petrified at Aerith. His blood seemed to freeze inside him and his head was feeling a little dizzy. His whole body stiffened and in an impulse he got up from his seat, away from her.

"What's wrong?" Aerith asked confused.

"It can't be…" Cloud gasped.

"I have someone waiting for me back home." Cloud could still hear Zack's words in his head and when he spoke about that person it was as if his face brightened up with happiness in a huge grin.

"It was you." Cloud's voice came out shakily and he looked blankly at the floor seeing his friend's face in his mind. "I knew Zack. He was in my squad. No… Aerith we were friends… I can't." He looked at her and their eyes met, both becoming aware of what was going to happen.

"Cloud…" Aerith's voice was pleading. Everything was running fast through her head. Cloud had known Zack.

"He was my friend. We had been through so much together. He helped me so many times and he used to talk a lot about you." Cloud shook his head and exhaled looking down at the floor. "I didn't know who you were… I just listened to him talking about his girlfriend. You."

Aerith got up from her seat to stand in front of him.

"I can't… be with you." And those words that he had just pronounced burned through his throat stinging his tongue and mouth. He didn't want to stay away from her but knowing how Zack had loved her and having heard her say how much she had loved him back, even if it had been a long time ago… "I'm not Zack… I can't even compare to him… and I could never do this to him." Zack was everything Cloud had hoped he could be and more than being his friend Cloud looked up to him. I could never compete with Zack… If I stay with you, I'll just be disappointing. He didn't say out loud.

"Cloud." She touched his arm with her hand and he felt her skin brushing softly against his.

"I'm sorry Aerith…" He whispered looking away. "But I don't think we should keep meeting." Slowly he turned around noticing her hand sliding away from his arm. What are you doing?

He stood there motionless imagining her face; he couldn't stand to look at her. If he did he wouldn't be able to control himself to how much he wanted to hold her in his arms. But they couldn't be together. As he had his back to her he wished he had never met this flower girl because if he hadn't he wouldn't have hurt her that way. He wished he had been killed instead of Zack. He had this girl so devotedly waiting for him to return and instead, she only got more pain. It wasn't fair to her, to Zack and to him because… it was already too late. He had fallen in love with her.

"Don't go…" Her voice made his heart crash into pieces inside of his chest. He didn't want to go but what choice did he have? "You… have become the reason for me to let go of the past… and keep living."

What she didn't know was that she had helped him find a will to live too. His head was spinning. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her feelings again. He had been able to make her talk about what was troubling her, he had practically confessed his feelings for her, he had tried to kiss her and now he was backing away. But it mattered. Being Zack Fair her first love mattered. He had helped Cloud so many times during his missions, they had grown a strong friendship in the battlefield and out that he couldn't just ignore the fact that Aerith had been the girl he so many times talked about when they had time to rest. It wouldn't sound right to be with her.

He had been present when Zack was killed. Their last mission and the reason Cloud decided to leave SOLDIER. The image of him being shot several times in the chest was still so vivid in his mind he had to firmly shut his eyes to try to erase it.

"Talk to me…" Her voice pleaded again faintly. "Let me in." She said trying to reach him through his silence.

"Things would have been better if it had been me… the day Zack—"

"Don't say that!" Aerith interrupted him. He heard her sob and the sound of her crying pierced through his heart again.

"I'm sorry Aerith…" He whispered before walking away from her into the night. He hated himself more with each step he took. Aerith dropped to her knees and bent down her head looking at her hands pressing the ground beneath her.

Not again…


Everything is so confusing at the moment.

"Aren't you going to the fair?" Elmyra asked her daughter when they sat down at the kitchen table to have dinner that night. Aerith had forgotten it was already time for the winter fair.

"I don't see the point on going by myself …" Aerith answered. She didn't have anyone to go with and she couldn't stand going to the middle of a crowd of people alone. She would feel even lonelier.

"What about that new boy you used to go out with? I haven't seen him around anymore." Elmyra asked.

"We just… we drifted apart." Aerith stopped eating to stare blankly at her soup plate. It had been almost one month since that night Cloud and she talked about Zack. "I'm going to the church for a while ok?" She rose from her chair and picked up her plate to place it in the sink.

"To the church? But it's night time! Aren't you going to finish eating?" Her mother insisted.

"I'm not hungry… And I might watch the fireworks from there."

"You're not climbing roofs again are you?" Aerith heard her mother's voice call to her as she reached the entrance door.

Mothers… She rolled her eyes. "Don't worry! I'll be careful!" She raised her voice to reply and closed the door behind her as she left.

She walked into the church, the silence didn't scare her anymore, she had gotten used to being alone there. Reaching the altar past her flower bed she noticed the candle she had burning in Zack's memory was still lit on a shelf nailed to the wall. She looked at the small flame burning and the orange color dancing hypnotized her eyes. The more she stared into the tiny fire the more she wanted to be lost inside of it. She wanted that tiny flame to engulf her and take her away.

Suddenly she was interrupted by the sound of blasting fireworks coming from the sky. The cracks on the wooden roof of the church allowed her to see the colourful sparkles erupting.

There was a door to the left of where she was standing that led to the stairs up to the upper floor of the church. She climbed them and slid through a hole between the cracks of the roof. She stood up on the quivering wooden boards of the rooftop and closed her eyes feeling the soft breeze brushing her skin and waving her hair. Another blast in the sky and thousands of sparkling lights showered down through the dark sky.

She smiled. The fireworks were beautiful and from where she was standing she could see the lights reflected in the many roofs of the houses of Midgar. She sat down on the boards watching the show.

"Hey…" A voice she so well knew interrupted her from her dazzled stare at the sky. "You almost gave me a heart-attack."

"Why?" She turned her head to meet a pair of blazing blue eyes shimmering by the lights exploding.

"I saw you standing here." Cloud came out from the hole on the roof, the same one he had fallen into a few months ago and sat next to her resting his arms on his bended knees. "You made my blood freeze and I think I stopped breathing for a minute when I was climbing the stairs."

"You thought I was going to fall down the roof?" She giggled.

"Well… yeah."

"I've been coming here my whole life." Aerith turned her eyes to the sky.

"You scared me." Cloud followed her gaze.

"Cloud… What are you doing here?" She asked.

There was a moment of silence between them.

"I came here to find you." He answered at last. "I thought at lot about everything and… Aerith… I want to be with you. Even if it means we'll be just friends. That is, if you let me. If you can forgive me."

"What's there to forgive?"

"I left."

"You came back." Aerith turned to look at him and smiled. "You're here now."

"But I don't want to disappoint you…" Cloud looked down. "I'm not… Zack."

"That's right, you're not." Aerith lifted his chin up with her hand. "Every time I'll remember Zack will be with care. He is just a happy memory now that I'll treasure in my heart. You're here Cloud. And you were able to bring me back to the surface from the darkness I was drowning myself into. You made me happy again. You'll never be a disappointment and I'm glad you're different from him…"

They both stared silently at the flashing sky to look at the final fireworks blasting noisily in the night. They both knew Zack wasn't going to be forgotten, he would remain inside their hearts as the person they both had met and loved once. But it had come the time they had to let go and move on with their lives. They knew Zack would have liked that; Zack would have wanted them to be happy.

Before leaving the church that night, Aerith went back to the place where the little candle was still softly burning. She looked at it wave for a couple of seconds and then she blew it gently until the flame had vanished.

Goodnight Zack.


Note: Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you liked this chapter!!