I am so sorry that this is so late! I've been short on time as the beginning of the school year is always hectic, barely had time to do anything but planning in the evenings and weekend. Anyway here is, finally, chapter 3. Thank you all again for your reviesw, favs and follows! It means a lot especially when I haven't been able to update as often as I would have liked!
Beth looked down in awe at the items Daryl had managed to scavenge on his scout around the reception block. He had brought back quite the successful loot. A couple of bottles of mineral water, a few cans of pop, some medical items but what made Beth's eyes widen in delight was the carrier he threw down onto the mattress before her, overflowing with chocolate and chips. Her stomach gurgled uncontrollably at the sight of what looked like the contents of an entire vending machine.
"Well don't let me stop you." Daryl muttered noticing the way her tongue had already begun to dart across her lips in anticipation. Reaching forward he quickly snatched a chocolate bar from her reach before she had the chance, his eyes instinctively giving her warning glance before smirking and striding over to the window. Leaning against the window sill he began to unwrap the foil whilst keeping one eye on watch through a gap in the faded netted curtains and the other on the blonde who looked to be in seventh heaven.
Paradise, Beth decided, was occurring in the inside of her mouth, as the cube of chocolate melted across her tongue, igniting her taste buds in a sugar filled frenzy. It had been so long since she or any of them had anything to eat more flavorsome than rice and beans and now she was well on her way to inducing a sugar coma. Yet with every bite she found herself haunted by memories. How Maggie would go binge on Reece's Pieces when she was pmsing, how her Daddy was partial to a fine fudge. I don't deserve this, she thought bitterly her body slinking further into the mattress as guilt flooded her. Not after the mess she had gotten them into. Now that she was sat without them, with only Daryl at her side. Looking up sheepishly at her savior stuffing the bar of chocolate into his mouth without a second thought, she wondered why he was being so good to her.
"Should have left me." Beth confessed to herself in a whisper. Daryl's ears prickled at the sound of her hushed voice in the other wise silent room.
"Don't be startin' that." he insisted awkwardly, pushing the chocolate back into his mouth whilst trying to keep it covered. Fumbling with the wrapper he stepped closer to where Beth sat crumpled on the edge of the bed. Taking in the vision of her in the grey light he found it only emphasised the look of the pain and sadness in her sunken eyes. He had heard about how bad she was at the farm, how low she got, depressed. Even tried to kill herself, he'd heard but never asked. There was no point, it wasn't his business. He knew everyone had their own demons and their own ways of dealing. Who was he to question? This world was trying and they had all found it impossible to stay strong all the time.
Popping the last piece of chocolate through his lips, he chewed it over slowly as he watched a single tear slip down her cheek and how quickly she brushed it away with the back of her hand. "We don't leave no one." He found himself insisting. "Not if we don't have to." Beth inhaled slowly and tiredly, her dirt covered hair falling in front of her blood shot eyes shielding herself from view. Rubbing the back of his neck uneasily he re-iterated "We're family. Take care of each other." Sniffing back her emotions so fought to keep herself from scoffing. All he had said to her had sounded right, almost somewhat perfect, but sitting there she knew that behind his words Daryl was secretly cursing her. He was, after all, now stuck with her, a useless aim and inexperienced. What good was she? Just a little girl and a huge hindrance. The only thing she could ensure was that she would be the death of both of them.
"You should use that." she heard Daryl stutter and lifted her gaze shaking herself from her thoughts to where he pointed at the water behind her. "Go fill the sink. Freshen up, ain't that what you ladies call it?" Seeing him reach across and hand her two bottles she forced a small grateful smile across her cracking lips. Under full instruction she headed slowly to the bathroom, watching the water become waves inside the bottle as her hands failed to cease trembling.
"What bout you?" She questioned halting in the doorway, taking stock of the water that was left. It was kind enough for him to even suggest that she could use such a valuable resource to tidy herself up. Originally she had half expected him to not even show her his finds, keep them hauled up and only ration them out when needed but she had been proven wrong.
Looking down at himself Daryl's brow knitted.
"You saying I'm stinkin'?" Immediately she could feel the small amount of colour in her cheeks drain, panic spreading across her face at his narrowed eyes.
"Oh erm, no, I just," she stammered her chest tightening. Daryl's face flickered from one emotion swiftly to the next.
"I'm jokin'." he insisted, holding his hands up in protest, hoping to God the girl didn't have some serious anxiety issues. "I'm good." Feeling her lips and cheeks shake as she let out a nervous laughter she quickly excused herself and closed to door sharply behind her. It seemed she didn't really know Daryl much at all.
Leaning against the door, she let her head hit hard against the wooden panel hoping it would knock in some sense. God, she felt so stupid. Of course he was joking. It seemed like everything she did today was wrong. She was foolish. Just a stupid girl with big ideas. Big stupid ideas. Sighing she opened her tired eyes and caught sight of her reflection in the broken bathroom mirror, Maggie's words 'Don't be a hero' echoing loudly in her head. She wasn't even trying to be a hero, she was just trying to be helpful. To give her family and friends a fighting chance. Grimacing, her fingers traced along the edges of her face, smearing the dirt and blood further into her pores. She was a mess. Inside and out. Not that she could remember a day when she looked at least half good but now, covered in flesh that didn't belong to her and dirt mixed in with blood she barely recognised herself.
Filling the chipped porcelain sink with a bottle her hands shook, looking almost alien to her. She could still feel the small pistol and the way it pressed against her palms. They were used to this, she thought sadly. The others had all been out there, getting their hands dirty dealing with all the death around them, hell even Carl had seen more than she had and he was a good few years younger than her. She hadn't a clue and she cursed herself for silently pleading with her father to let her stay behind, for thinking that she could handle things.
Gripping the edge of the sink, she leaned in closer to the mirror her eyes pinpointing various pieces of walker flesh and streaks of blood that hard been sprayed onto her, so dark that it almost looked like ink. She was covered in it from head to toe and the smell in the cramped windowless bathroom was now overwhelming. Feeling her stomach twist she quickly clasped her hand over her mouth before throwing herself onto the floor by the toilet bowl and ejecting the contents.
Peering through the gap in the curtain with one hand, the other lazily adding chips into his mouth Daryl squeezed his eyes shut with a shudder at the sound coming from the bathroom. Beth had been vomiting for a good few minutes and he was surprised that the tiny thing had anything else left to bring up. He pondered whether he should go and see her but decided against it remembering how his mother would get when she was sick. God she hated it if she thought people would see her at her worst and weakest, he figured it would be much the same for any other female. Besides, he had decided, Beth needed some time to herself. To clean herself up and gather her thoughts. She'd stop eventually. He hoped.
Emptying the last of the chips into his mouth he mulled over where they had gone wrong. Somewhere along the road they should have met up with the others. There wasn't that much of a delay between them and he had followed the roads straight and steady towards the coast. There had been no signs of any accidents, or even an ambush. They should have been there. Something wasn't right and it didn't sit well with him.
At least, he thought, with a small amount of relief, it seemed they would be good for the night, though he wasn't entirely sure of his chances of any longer with the farm girl tagging along at his side. She'd proven herself to be impulsive and inexperienced but most and worst of all a liability. Huffing gruffly he cursed Hershel and the others for not getting the girl to yield weapons like the rest of them, for wrapping her up in cotton wool and treating her like some baby. They weren't doing her any favours, treating her like a young girl when quite clearly she wasn't anymore. No one could hold onto a childhood, not in this world. You had to grow up fast. The girl had already lost her mother, even her sweetheart. You didn't get over those things. Ever. You just had to build walls, harden yourself so that the pain wouldn't cripple you. Hell even go a little bit cold. You just had to find a way to deal with it. He knew that. You needed to survive.
The girl's emotions hadn't killed her yet but he was certain that if she was left so naive and innocent to the ways of living in this world she would fail to see the winter. She needed some basic defense skills to start, he decided, nothing fancy for she was too small for anything too strenuous. She had no stamina, just a half pint with not an ounce of muscle on her. Truth be told it frightened him. Hearing the sound of her heaves once more he decided he'd teach her himself starting tomorrow.
Beth opened the door uneasily awaiting some awful remark from Daryl as she re-entered the dark and slightly damp smelling room. There was no chance that he hadn't heard her vomiting, not when they were in such a close proximity. Feeling embarrassed she thoroughly towel dried her head trying to shield herself from his gaze as she quickly sat on the bed, her back to him as he sat perched upon the window sill dressed by the shadows like a black cat.
"Better?" he questioned his voice softer than before.
"Mhm hmm." she mumbled trying to erase the horrifying image of herself in the mirror. Glancing briefly over her shoulder she found relief in the fact that he had barely looked in her direction. Taking a deep breath she dried her damp neck and hairline trying not to notice the pink tinges to the cream coloured towel.
"You should get some sleep." Daryl's eyes were upon her now and she felt herself sinking under his command. There was something about him that made her simply comply with his every demand. It unnerved her slightly, confused her, this hold that he had, so confident and strong, authoritative. She didn't know whether she should fight against it, put her foot down a little yet when she looked into the heavy lidded eyes she found no sense of malice or wish to dominate her. There was something in them but what she was unsure.
Noticing the lines around his eyes Beth pressed her lips together lightly for a moment as she took note of his exhausted frame. She hadn't even thought about what he may have seen when they split back in the prison, what he might have done. She had been too wrapped up in the mistakes she had made to even acknowledge what he had been through. He was Daryl Dixon but he wasn't super human either and she couldn't ask him to stay up on watch all night and then have to drive all day or however long it would take for them to eventually catch up with the others.
"What about you?"
"What about me?" he snapped almost instantaneously and her skin prickled, his nature far from joking this time around. Picking at a loose bit of skin around her nail she felt her mouth go dry. With a slight crack to her words she added
"You need sleep too."
Scoffing at Beth's words Daryl rolled his eyes at her which only brought out a further furious red to her milk white cheeks. A pang of guilt struck him. She was only trying to be nice and he had shot her down for what? Being caring. He simply wasn't used to having someone ask after him. Scratching his forehead he gritted his teeth uneasy with apologies. If he was honest he felt uneasy around her in general. He'd barely spoken to the Greene girl. She was shy and quiet, kept to herself much like him.
Only recently had he heard her contribute a bit more to discussions though normally he found she just seemed to agree with whatever he father said. She was good with Judith though, he'd noticed that. The way she would be able to settle her at night when everyone else was unable to. How the soft sound of her voice singing lullabies would calm and entrance her. How being so gentle and loving just came naturally.
Clearing his throat he let his fingers slip from the parted gap in the curtain. He hadn't seen any sign of anyone or anything since they had arrived a good few hours ago. Maybe she was right, he thought to himself, pushing back a strand of bloodied hair form his vision. Maybe he could just grab an hours shut eye.
"Leave any of that water, Kid?" He questioned sliding from the sill and heading to the bathroom. The little blonde nodded and he nodded back. "Should have been honest when I asked ya if I stank." he muttered just loud enough for her to hear whilst offering a small smile. Sniffing sharply before wiping the tip of his nose with the back of his hand he found himself feeling a bit more settled inside when her lips turned upwards at the corners.
He had decided on the floor and he was regretting it for on closer inspection the carpet was filthier and harder than he had originally inspected. Lying straight on his back he had already found himself catching fleas between his fingertips whilst Beth tossed and turned splayed out on the large double bed like a star fish. Sure he'd had worse but he hadn't had a perfectly good bed inches away to tempt and tease him. Just the thought of a mattress and pillows was enough to drive him crazy. Huffing Darryl rolled onto his side, tucking his arm beneath his head to try and get comfy, listening to the soft sound of Beth's breathing.
She had been out like a light when he had returned from cleaning himself up. Her golden hair sprawled out upon a pillow; her lips slightly parted taking soft short breaths. She looked like one of those princesses from the fairytales, all milky white and innocent. Most of all she looked peaceful and he envied her for that.
Rolling over once more he spied his cross bow. Edging his fingers towards it, he pulled it back into his reach, letting it lay down the side of his body feeling more content with it at his side. Closing his eyes he tried to picture rivers and camping trips, things that once made him smile; anything to replace the horror that the walls he had built up kept locked away but failed to keep constrained when sleep overpowered him.
Jolting up right, her breath caught in her chest, Beth rubbed her eyes frantically trying to get her baring's in the almost pitch black room whilst hearing distressed mutterings coming from the bottom of the bed. Her eyes fought to adjust to the lack of light and her heart pounded uneasily at the thought of what laid just inches away from her. Crawling slowly over the sheets that tangled against her limbs, she peered down to see that it was only Daryl thrashing against the floor, soaked in a sheen of sweat. Reaching down to shake him by the shoulder she caught sight of the cross bow in his hand and froze. He'd shoot her in an instant she was certain. Chewing her bottom lip she laid herself down flat upon the bed, shuffling closer to the edge nearer his ear.
"Daryl." she whispered sharply watching as he continued to moan. Shaking she swallowed nervously clearing her throat. The second time she found her voice waking him in an instant he leapt to his feet, gasping for air, spinning the bow aimed directly for her. Closing her eyes she awaited the feel an arrow head pierce her skull but instead heard the sound of a southern drawl cursing.
"God damn it girl! Could have near fuckin' killed yer." Opening one eye gingerly Beth found he had discarded the bow and was standing with his back to her, his hands in his hair, clasping at his head. Pulling herself up from the bed she gently stepped towards him, padding softly in bare feet.
"You were callin' out, in your sleep." reaching forward to take his arm she let her fingers brush the bare skin above his elbow. The lightest touch seemed to send him spinning sharply in her direction and Beth felt her breath get lost as his eyes burned wild like a fire into her soul. With their eyes locked in an intense gaze she could hear him pant, her own heart thrashing wildly in fear. Standing opposite each other in the dark Beth studied the unfamiliar look upon his face, he too in the half light looked somewhat terrified but of what she wasn't sure.
Edging back she retracted her hand, hiding it behind her back as if she had been burnt. "Sorry." She muttered as she climbed back beneath the sheets clutching them around her finger tips for comfort, drawing her knees up close to her chest. Watching Daryl grip the window sill, his back pulsating with uneasy breaths she fought to try and shake the look in Daryl's eyes when she had touched him. She'd never seen him look like that before. She didn't think anything could ever possibly frighten him. He was so confident, even cocky about it. He made her feel the safest of all but just then, when he looked at her his eyes ablaze and feral, she wasn't so sure.
Laying herself down upon her side she frowned, letting her eyes shut. Feeling the weight of the bottom of the bed shift she realised that he had decided to sit down with her. Hearing him sigh she kept her eyes closed but opened her mouth to speak.
"You get 'em a lot?" a long pause fell after her words and Beth thought that perhaps she had well and truly over stepped the line by even bringing it up but as she lay there alone, with him just out of reach she decided she had to know more about this man. "The night terrors?" she pressed peering through one eye she looked anxiously for his presence at the bottom of the bed only to find him sat frozen. "Daryl?"
"Mhm." he grunted back roughly.
"Bad dreams, you get 'em?" she clarified unsure if he had heard her the first time around but he had heard and he knew exactly what she meant. What he didn't know was how to respond.
Pleased that he didn't have to look at her innocent and expectant little face Daryl gritted his eyes shut tight.
"Just a dream." he threw back with what he hoped was enough conviction to make both she and himself believe it. Pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and fingers he fought to keep his cool. Normally it didn't matter, in his cell or out and about, he was always by himself. No one ever saw, no one ever knew. He could handle things that way. He'd just cool down by having a smoke or going out and killing some walkers lurking beyond the fence for a bit. He couldn't do that here, not with Beth and all her questioning. He just had to keep control.
"Sometimes I see my Ma." her angelic voice continued with a deep and sorrowing sadness that stopped him from telling her to call it quits for the night. "It's the same thing every time." Beth continued grimly. "We're out in the field, picking corn for Daddy. We're singing, laughing just like before. She comes up to me and I lean in and hold her. Sometimes it so real I can almost smell her perfume, all sweet and heady, but when I pull away -" her voice trailed off and Daryl didn't need her to continue for her knew what she was going to say. Feeling her legs shift beside him he felt sorry for her. "Is that how it is for you? With Merle?"
Even with one eye open Beth could see Daryl stiffen just at the sound of his name. It had only been a few days since he had come back to them after the loss of his brother. No one really said too much, they were all worried about what he would do, what he could have been capable of yet it seemed all Daryl did was keep to himself a bit more, withdrawing perhaps a little more than he used to. She had heard Carol try to talk to him once and all she got back was a mouthful of abuse. Beth wondered why she even mentioned Merle to him now. Daryl had a lot of demons she was certain but she had probably struck the biggest.
"Just a dream, kid." he repeated solemnly.
"Daryl,"
"Just-" he began turning his head sharply as his voice rose and eyes angled sharply. "Sleep."
Tucking herself down further into the sheets she found herself unable to clear her questions from her mind. Something about his reluctance to open up and be honest saddened her and she couldn't help but wonder what it was that made him so guarded. Even more confusingly she wondered why it mattered.
