The figures formed from the particles of his disintegrating wings.

They rose from the ashes like a phoenix, and he – though he should be dead, angels didn't get an afterlife – rose with them, free from a physical form, free from grace, and somehow still in existence. It felt like he was floating – was he even feeling at all? – and when he looked around – was he even seeing? – he found himself still in the conference room of the Elysian Fields Motel.

His broken body was lying before him, outlines of his wings scorched into the ground.

The Valkyries shifted and formed a circle, and Gabriel took a step back.

"Why am I here?" he asked, because this couldn't be a good thing, this couldn't be right. He shouldn't exist anymore.

"You're given a choice," they answered him, and now there was no difference between them; they spoke with one voice and moved as one.

"A choice?" Gabriel replied confused. He was trying not to look at the tiny particles of ash that were forming the shadowy figures of the Valkyries, which was hard considering that he also tried not to look at the body on the ground.

He noticed that Lucifer was gone. When he tried to find anger about his brother's betrayal, he couldn't find it in himself. Maybe it was because he had been ready to do the same thing, but some part of him knew it was because…

"You wanted this," the Valkyries finished his thought for him and he flinched, because it summed up the truth more than anything. "You wanted to die so you wouldn't have to choose. But you chose nevertheless."

"Fine, can I go now?" He could feel his composure crumbling, falling away, all the masks he had put on over the years turning to dust. To ash. Was that really what had been waiting for him all that time? A death in a crappy motel, surrounded by the dead bodies of pagans he had once called his family in a desperate attempt to escape from a family that had always haunted him? A death so inglorious for the messenger of God?

"You can, if you wish," the Valkyries answered, "Or you can come with us. You are still a Trickster. You are still Loki. And you were brave in the end. It would be an honour to welcome you back at Odin's court."

"Odin's dead," Gabriel spit out, "My brother killed him, if you hadn't noticed."

The Valkyries actually laughed. "You angels and your funny little concept of nonexistence. Have you never thought about making yourself more than just a pretty thing to be worshipped by mortals?"

"What do you mean?" Gabriel asked.

"You thought about it," the Valkyries answered, voices half-amused but faces unreadable in the dim light of the conference room. "You became a concept so ancient that Christianity couldn't erase it from people's minds." A sigh went through the room. "You can't kill thunder and lightning, you can't kill the sun or the moon or time. That's how the pagans survived when the tables turned. And that's why you're still here."

"I never asked for this," Gabriel replied darkly. Without his grace, it felt like he was just a step away from becoming the empty monster he'd seen when his brother had tried to defend his ideas. By God, he still loved Lucifer, but there was nothing left of the angel he had so admired. Everything he had seen when he had stood face to face with his brother for the first time in millennia had been a grotesque, distorted picture of Lucifer as he'd once been.

"But you never protested, either." The Valkyries simultaneously took a step forward. "So… will you come with us?"

Gabriel thought. He didn't want to say yes, he was afraid and disgusted and torn – angel, trickster, he couldn't tell them apart anymore and it felt like he was losing himself.

"It will pass," one of them said shyly, but he couldn't make out which one. Maybe she had tried to console him, but the fact that she could apparently hear his thoughts freaked him out even more.

He could be Loki again. It would be all too easy, wouldn't it? Continue, acquire a new face, hide some more and let them figure out the apocalypse on their own. It would be so damn easy that he actually couldn't believe it.

And then he remembered.

"Can I see him?" he asked, breathless, and before he could stop himself. The Valkyries smiled as if they'd know it all along.

"Do you wish to?"

Gabriel's mouth was dry – he didn't even have a mouth anymore – but he nodded and croaked out a "Yes".

The scene shifted. They were standing in front of a motel. It was snowing again.

"Is he…?" Gabriel couldn't finish the sentence, but it didn't matter anymore. There was nothing to hide behind now, not even words. He had never felt more vulnerable.

"He is currently sleeping in the second room on the left." The Valkyries pointed to a window that overlooked the parking lot. The Impala was parked directly in front of it. "You can go, if you want to. But do not linger too long; your magic is wearing thin."

As she spoke, Gabriel felt a searing hot pain in his stomach and looked down, even though his physical form was gone. He didn't need to see it, though, he knew that the blade Lucifer had tried to kill him with was still affecting him, and he only had so much time before he would be sucked into the void of nonexistence that was the last stop for every angel.

Unless he chose to go pagan.

"Just give me a moment," he said and turned to the motel. With one thought, he was inside and standing next to the sleeping form of Sam. He could feel the heat radiating from the boy's body and asked himself if he looked like the Valkyries now, cold and made of ice.

So this was what he'd been fighting for.

"I know you can't hear me, Sammy." It was weird talking without a voice. "But I need to say it anyway because…"

He didn't know why it had been so important to him to see Sam again. He should let go, he should let, he should let go. That was what he told himself, but he couldn't.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I suck at goodbyes."

Sam shifted in his sleep, buried his head deeper in the pillow and snored lightly.

"I know what you'd say." Gabriel laughed. At least it felt like laughing –the weightless sensation in his chest that made the vast emptiness of having no family disappear for a few seconds.

"You'd tell me to let go, not to join the pagans. You'd throw my own words right back at me, because you're just as good as giving as you are at taking."

He shivered. He was really cold, and Sam's warmth didn't help. "But you know what? I'm not as brave as I wanted you to think I am. I am a fucking coward."

The snow outside picked up on intensity and he could see the Valkyries clearly now, their bodies almost solid against the dark night sky. The warm motel room seemed further and further away.

"I should go now. There's a train to pagan-land I have to catch." He tried to laugh again, but it got stuck in his throat. Sam's face looked peaceful, the light from outside illuminating his face. In his sleep, he looked so much younger.

For the first time since this whole thing had started, Gabriel could actually see the Valkyries' faces. They weren't shifting anymore, they were terrifying and beautiful and solid. Pain flared in his stomach again, the knife somehow still there, still twisting.

His legs gave in and he sacked to the ground next to Sam's bed. The hunter's face was turned towards him.

This was what he'd been fighting for.

He couldn't believe he was doing this.

"I'll stay," he whispered quietly into the night. "I won't go with them, I promise. I can't let you down Sammy, I don't want to. I'll try to be brave now…"

He was babbling and sobbing and almost reaching out for Sam's hand, before he remembered that he didn't have a physical form anymore. Then he just froze, stopped, and stared at Sam.

With every human heartbeat, Sam seemed further away.

The room was growing darker around Gabriel.

This was it. This was the end for him.

"It's true Sammy, I did it for you. I hope you don't think I'm a coward anymore. And I'm sorry for what I did to you. I just didn't want to see you suffer."

He kept talking, but he could feel his thoughts slipping away as he was speaking, falling into a darkness he had already accepted as a part of himself. The darkness was filling the hole in his stomach, the emptiness in his heart.

He was the darkness.

He caught a last look at Sam.

Then – just darkness.


Author's Note: Hey, look at that, I made myself sad! Anyway, thanks for reading, leave a review to let me know how I did and have a nice day!

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own Supernatural.