The Tatsumakigan
(The Tornado Eye)
AN: yeah I know it's been a while I'm sorry but I've had school and my grandma is in the hospital so I've been stressed out and everything sorry again. Anyway here is the third chapter I'll try and make it as long as possible
Steve: HA take that you damn cheerleaders. Swolio I used the power of the zits on them MWUAHAHAHAHA
Me: . . . . . -.-' he's gone bat shit crazy again x.x *sigh* I never should have let him near Anko and Voldemort for that long. Well looks like I got to use this *smashes a glass box that says 'In case of Emergency' then pulls out the item inside* Well lets hope this works *Smashes Steve in the face with a 'Louisville Slugger Platinum Addition' and watches as Steve falls to the ground out cold* Well anyway on with the story
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did I would come on this site then make some random rant about the large amounts of naru/sasu yaoi. *gags* I feel extremely sick with myself about looking at just how much was on here… so I'm going to go get laid after this chapter before I shoot myself.
Chapter 3: Gennin Exam
Before Anko even landed she heard a steady thudding sound coming from behind her and turned to see the cute Chunnin instructor banging his head steadily against his desk. Shrugging it off since she'd seen stranger and turned back to the Gennin who were watching her with wide eyes, except for Naruto who was still muttering.
"Alright maggots, which of you lot is Team 8?"
Suddenly everyone was very helpful as everyone pointed fingers at the only Gennin not afraid of her and the two Gennin beside him. Hinata was watching her warily as she approached them.
"Hey gaki!" she asked casually as she poked Naruto with the pointy end of a dango skewer. When he didn't respond but kept mumbling about 'killing an old senile geezer that has it out for him' she shrugged again which garnered some attention from the male population of the class as the mesh armor she favored hugged every curve of her well muscled body. She then sat on his lap cutting his cheek and licking up his blood.
Behind her the banging stopped as Iruka noticed Kurenai enter the room slowly shaking her head at Anko's antics. Wondering why she decided to tag along for this.
Iruka met her penetrating gaze, "She's had dango hasn't she" he accused.
"Eight sticks," Kurenai confirmed, "You know that's not good for you?" she asked conversationally as Iruka returned to banging his head against his desk.
"It hurts less than trying to wrap my head around…Oh fuck!"
"Language Iruka-sensei!" Kurenai reprimanded, though the humor in her voice softened it somewhat.
"You don't understand, someone put Anko and Naruto on the same team," he said as he pulled his Headband off along with a kunai from his weapons pouch. "I can't believe I didn't realize earlier."
"What are you doing?"
"I figure it's not too late to go nuke-nin," he said conversationally. Kurenai was about to collapse in laughter when she realized he wasn't really joking.
"Oh come off it…they can't be that bad…" she trailed off as she saw his incredulous expression.
"You do know Anko don't you?" he waited for Kurenai to nod before stating, "Well Naruto makes her look tame when he gets going." He was quite satisfied as he watched the Jonin go pale.
"Come on Kurenai, I got what we came for!" Both Iruka and Kurenai turned to watch as Anko cut Naruto again this time closer to his lips licking up the blood before giving him a kiss, which also had the effect of Naruto stopping his random mutterings and making one Hyuuga Hinata very pissed.
All the girls in the room were just staring in shock and all the guys were glaring at Naruto in envy, except for one Uchiha Sasuke, who was wondering what it would be like to be in Anko's place.
Then realizing what he was fantasizing about he slammed his head against the wall before staring at a random girl to remind himself that he's straight and doesn't like Naruto what so ever.
Naruto sat there shocked for a second before she finally pulled away. Anko smirked, still in his lap, and said "So you liked that huh gaki well if you want another you'll have to earn it * she smirked *."
"*sigh* No thanks Anko-sensei I can deal."
"Humph whatever." She looks around and notices that something was missing. She thought about it for a second before smirking evilly and jumping to the front of the class. "NARUTO front and center now."
Naruto ran up in front of her, "Yes Anko-sensei," he said with a salute.
"I am giving you your first assignment. Go find Kakashi Hatake and get his lazy ass to this classroom in twenty minutes or less. Get leverage from his apartment if needed."
Naruto nodded once and exclaimed, "Yes Anko-sensei, I'll be back in fifteen minutes." He then dashed off with everyone staring at the spot he was at.
****Scene Break****
Naruto quickly got to Kakashi's apartment and just walked in. Kakashi wasn't there so Naruto just went to his bedroom and looked around for leverage. He spotted something and got a thought that was so devious, so maniacal, and so evil that even the Kyuubi wouldn't do it, well maybe but only on a day it was really pissed off on.
Running around he found Kakashi sitting in a bar talking to a random girl. Sighing Naruto walked in and tapped Kakashi on the shoulder. "Ne Kakashi, Anko-sensei said that if you weren't at the academy in *looks at clock* ten minutes then your ultra super rare gold edition of ICHA ICHA tactics vol. 45, that is signed by the author, would be burned as an offering to the snake summons boss."
Kakashi got bug-eyed and ran to his apartment to change. Naruto just hopped off to the academy to wait for him to arrive.
****Scene Break****
Naruto appeared in the classroom right before Kakashi burst into the room. "ANKO give me my book NOW, I promise to start my test today if you just give me my precious."
Anko was confused until Naruto snuck up behind her and slipped a book into her hand and whispered into her ear. Anko smirked deviously and thought, 'Hmm this gaki has some potential for interrogation *evil smirk in head* finally someone for me and Ibiki to pass our legacy onto, because lord knows that Ibiki is never going to have a kid and I'd have to rape someone to get a kid.' "Ok Kakashi take your students and give them the intro and start your test TODAY and I'll give you your book back after the Jonin meeting tomorrow morning, got it?"
"Yes Anko-sama I shall get right on it. TEAM SEVEN GET YOUR SLOW ASSES ONTO THE ROOF NOW" Sakura, Sasuke, and Kiba ran to the roof in fear of their new sensei.
Anko turned back to the room and said, "Ok then Team 8 follow me to training ground 43 and we'll get started."
****Scene Break****
Anko smirked at her little Gennin thinking about all the tort- I mean training that they were going to be doing. She looked at them again and started, "Ok brats introduce yourselves and then we'll get to your test. For example, I am Anko Mitarashi. I like dango, snakes, and red bean soup. I dislike that bastard traitor Orochimaru, bigoted villagers, and the civilian council. My hobbies are torture, planning ways to kill Orochimaru, and training. My dream is to kill that bastard Orochimaru and hang his guts up in the center of town."
The Gennin just stared at her, except for Naruto who had met her before and knew how she was. "Ok then Glasses your up."
Shino just looked at her before saying, "My name is Shino Aburame. I like collecting and identifying new bugs. I dislike people who kill bugs meaninglessly. My hobbies are searching places for new bugs. My dream is to be a good clan head for my clan."
"Alright then." Anko said while thinking, 'Ok so I got a typical Aburame. He should be good with tactics and planning, could also learn some sabotage techniques.' "White Eyes your up."
Hinata blushed a bit before speaking. "My name is Hinata Hyuuga. I like flower pressing. I dislike bigoted people and people who judge others before getting to know them. My hobbies are making medicine. My dream is to show my clan that I am not weak and to …" she trails off at the end glancing at Naruto, which was caught by everyone but they decided not to say anything to save her the embarrassment (though Anko did so reluctantly).
"Hmm ok." 'So I've got a shy and insecure Hyuuga. Never thought I'd see that. And she seems to like gaki *smirks* this could get good.' "Ok Bucket Hat. You're next."
Naruto cleared his throat before saying, "My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like pokey, to train, pokey, learning new things, and pokey. I dislike most of the villagers that don't see me for me. My hobbies are training, and trying out new pokey. My dream is to be one of the greatest ninja ever."
"Alright gaki sounds about right." 'So he seemed to have dropped that mask of his finally. He also seems to have developed an addiction to pokey … great another Itachi *sigh*' "Well then we can get right to your real Gennin exam."
The Gennin just looked at her. She sweat dropped, it wasn't the reaction she was expecting. "Ok gaki's incase you haven't figured it out yet you are a SIA squad. That means sabotage, infiltration/interrogation, and assassination squad. You will be the ones who go in and take out threats in a quick and efficient way that can't be linked to your village. You will also be the ones who will go in and destroy key structures in enemy nations. With me so far?"
The Gennin nodded their heads for her to continue, but each was figuring out which part of that they fell in place at.
"Ok so first Bucket Hat. You are in the Infiltration/Interrogation and Sabotage part of the team. You will get into places you shouldn't be able to *glares remembering the ANBU itch powder fiasco* and will interrogate any captured hostiles. Also you will help destroy stuff."
"Glasses. You will be part of the Sabotage part. You will also be our tactician. You will set it up so the stuff that go's boom will do so as quickly and devastatingly as possible."
"White eyes. You will be Infiltration. With your eyes it will be easy. You just get us into the place and hold off the hostiles while we do the job. That is unless Naruto decides to fight then you will be doing the job."
"ALL of you will be assassins. No if, ands, or buts about it. You will learn how to effectively kill off a target without drawing attention to yourself or having it linked to your village. I am a master assassin so you will be proficient in it in no time."
They all looked at her with a mix of anticipation, anxiety, fear, and respect. She smirked at them. "Ok now as for your test. You are to FIRST sabotage Kakashi Hatake's bell test. Then while he is out cold you are to infiltrate his apartment and replace all his Icha Icha with this fake yaoi stuff. This will test all aspects of your new team."
"Ano… Anko-sensei I don't see how this test our abilities as assassins," Hinata spoke up in a small voice.
"It tests your abilities as assassins because you have to take out Kakashi's Gennin after you knock him out. You are to take them out without being seen by them. They CANNOT know it was you that did it. So y'all got all that maggots?"
"HAI Anko-sensei." They spoke in unison.
"Good if y'all finish your mission bring proof of books to the Hokage's office by five o'clock." Anko said as she vanished.
They all looked at each other and there was a silence before, "She's completely bat shit crazy isn't she." "Agreed."
****Scene Break****
Anko poofed into existence next to the aged Hokage. "What'd you think?"
"It was interesting to say the least. You think they will be able to pull this off?"
"They should be. Naruto is pretty smart and that Shino kid is good to. They will do fine."
"Well shall we watch?"
"Ooh yes please I can't wait to see Kakashi's face pounded into the ground." The Sandaime just sweat dropped and focused his crystal ball on Training Grounds Seven.
****Scene Break****
There in the middle of the training ground near some logs was none other then team seven. They were being talked to by Kakashi. Team eight, after Naruto taught them a rudimentary way to partially conceal their presence, hid in the bushes nearby watching them and waiting for their chance to strike.
As soon as the three Gennin on team seven leapt for cover to start Kakashi's test, team eight sprang into action. Naruto hopped out first creating seven clones to help him. They charge silently across the grounds at Kakashi.
In the trees the other Gennin watched wide eyed as Naruto's clones started fighting Kakashi in taijutsu. Sasuke was wondering what the hell the 'losers' were thinking. Sakura was watching with a 'what the fuck' expression on her face. Kiba was mad that the 'dope' had ruined his plan to bum rush the Jonin in a few seconds.
Kakashi was shocked that Naruto was attacking him. He was also shocked that he couldn't land a damn hit on the surprisingly flexible Gennin. Getting frustrated quickly Kakashi sped up and hit the Naruto in front of him only for it to pop up in a poof of smoke. "Wha" was his intelligent remark right before he felt a presence behind him and heard it shout out, "Konohagakure Hidden Taijutsu Ōgi: Sennen Goroshi."
Everyone stared wide eyed at the scene, even the Sandaime and Anko. They couldn't believe that Naruto used a jutsu like that. All over the village every male shinobi cringed in sympathy at the pathetic girlish scream that was associated with the technique.
Kakashi was mad now. Not only had Naruto interrupted his test, he had also used that horrible, horrible move on him. He quickly got up and started out a full on assault on Naruto. The Gennin, still trying to keep up with the speed, was doing surprisingly well against the Jonin. HE was able to dodge most, if not all, of Kakashi's attacks. But considering the speed he did not have time to even think about counter attacking.
In the trees Sasuke was fuming at how the dope could go toe to toe with a Jonin. Sakura, who had by some miracle wound up at the Uchiha's side, saw his irritation and immediately went from a shocked expression to a angry one aimed at Naruto. Kiba, who was still on his own, was shocked silly that the 'dead last' could hold his own with a pissed off Jonin.
Then Kakashi landed a hit right in Naruto's gut. Expecting him to go flying back Kakashi was surprised when Naruto latched onto his hand and said, "Got you."
Then out of nowhere Shino and Hinata show up. Shino covered Kakashi with bugs, and Hinata chopped him in the neck knocking him out. Naruto let go of Kakashi's arm and coughed a bit. "Good job guys mission complete *he reached over and grabbed the bells from Kakashi's belt* and we got our objective come on lets go." And with that the three disappeared into the trees.
A few moments of silence then Team seven finally came out of the trees to stand beside their downed sensei. "Well what the fuck was that?" was Kiba's inevitable question to the events that just took place. "I-I'm not sure … I think our sensei was just tricked by the 'losers'…" said Sakura in a small voice.
"No. He wasn't tricked. That was strategy. They used Naruto to distract him and make him mad. Then when Naruto had the chance, he grabbed a hold of Kakashi-sensei to prevent escape. That, along with his shock, aloud Shino and Hinata to quickly dash in and disable him. It should have been impossible for a team of losers like that …. They just got lucky." Was what Sasuke said.
"And how the hell do you explain Naruto being fast enough to dodge a JONIN'S attacks? Huh?" Kiba questioned.
"HEY don't talk to Sasuke-kun like that dog boy." The ever faithful fan-girl banshee said, smashing her fist on Kiba's head.
"Yeah whatever I was just won-" He never finished as suddenly they were all pulled into the ground with only their heads not buried and knocked out before they even knew what happened. "Hn he lacks concentration." Naruto said as he popped a thing of pokey into his mouth, it was strawberry flavor.
"Agreed," stated Shino in his usual monotone.
They had doubled back after they left and watched as team seven argued. Naruto had made the plan on taking out the three Gennin. He had quickly used the only earth jutsu he knew, in combination with his clones, and gotten underneath the unsuspecting Gennin. Then when Shino gave him the signal he pulled them all underground with only their heads sticking up. And before they could get their bearings Hinata and Shino quickly chopped them all in the neck effectively knocking them out.
Smiling at each other they headed towards the second stage of their test.
****Scene Break****
"Did that really happen?"
Smirking she replied, "Yes, yes it did and I couldn't be happier. That taijutsu was remnant of my own snake style. But it has faster counter attacks and focuses more on avoiding and outlasting, mine aims to disable or kill quickly."
"Yes, it's the Kage Unagi style. Somehow he found it but I have no idea how and I checked the library where he said he got it and it was nowhere in there. *sigh* I swear that kid loves giving me a headache and paperwork."
"Ha-ha Hokage-sama. But the brats did do pretty well. I really liked that plan. And I can't wait to see Kakashi's reaction at the Jonin meeting."
"Yes it will be quite interesting."
Just then there was a poof and the three Gennin appeared in the room. "Anko-sensei we have completed our objectives. Here are Kakashi-sans … books," said Shino pausing slightly before calling them books because he had flicked through one quickly to determine that they were indeed the target books.
"Ah nice, very nice. Good job gaki's you pass. Now meet me in Training Ground Forty Three the day after tomorrow I have a meeting tomorrow and I don't want to miss it. Now which one of you knows a Katon jutsu?"
"I do Anko-sensei," spoke up Naruto.
"Good then use it on the books."
"Hai" He then does a one handed seal and shoots a small stream of fire at the books setting them ablaze.
"Good now get out of here runts."
"Hai Anko-sensei," they said as they walked out of the office happy to be Gennin. Outside they stopped. "So guys y'all want to go get some Ichiraku's?"
"I am sorry Naruto-san but I cannot for I have to go to a clan meeting and then some training with my father."
"Ano … I can go Naruto-kun."
"Hn sounds good Hinata-chan come on lets go. Later Shino good luck with your clan."
He disappeared around the corner dragging Hinata before Shino could answer. 'He still acts like a child sometimes. Makes you wonder which is really a mask, or if anyone has ever seen his true face. Oh well I guess that's part of the enigma that is Naruto.'
****Scene Break****
The next morning Anko was waiting with the Hokage, along with all the other Jonin, for the chronically late Kakashi. Suddenly they heard a loud, agonizing, pain filled scream. Kakashi burst into the room not a second later with a look of horror upon his face. He pointed a shaking finger at Anko. "YOU! What did you do with them? TELL ME GOD DAMNIT WHERE IS MY PRECIUOS?"
Smirking Anko replied, "I have no idea what the hell your talking bout Kakashi. Did you misplace something?"
"NO! You did something. You had those devils you call your Gennin replace my precious Icha-Icha with, with YAOI!"
Every male in the room grew wide eyed and gagged while the women smirked and smiled. After taking a few minutes for everyone to calm down, Sarutobi decided to get the meeting underway. "Well since Kakashi seems to be a bit preoccupied wondering where his books are Anko why don't you start."
"Yes Hokage-sama. I have Gennin Shino Aburame, Hinata Hyuuga, and Naruto Uzumaki. They are a SIA squad, the first one in 30 years. Their test was to: A. disable Kakashi Hatake and retrieve the bells he was using for his bell test. B. Take out Gennin Sasuke Uchiha, Kiba Inuzuka, and Sakura Haruno without being seen doing the act. C. Infiltrate Kakashi Hatake's apartment and steal all his Icha-Icha books and replace them with the yaoi series. And finally D. *she started smirking* bring all of the books to me and burn them with a Katon jutsu. The burn mark is on the floor *she points at it*."
"NOO!" was heard all over the village. Kakashi was now kneeling at the burn mark mourning his 'precious'. Everyone sweat dropped at the scene. "But I still have that special gold edition I said id give back to him."
Suddenly Kakashi was kneeling before her with pleading eyes. Anko, smirking, held up the book like a person would hold up a treat for their dog. "You want it?"
"Yes."
"Hmm fine but I could have burned it and next time I will."
Kakashi shuddered again. "Anyway they started their test by making a plan based on what they knew already." She goes on to explain what happened when they got to the training grounds and how they enacted their plan. "And after taking out the Gennin they sprinted over to Kakashi's apartment and, surprisingly easily, stole his books and replaced them. Then they arrived here a few seconds later."
"Good, good ok then so they pass?"
"With full marks."
"Ok then on to the next one."
And the meeting went on from there with teams 7 and 10 passing and the rest failing. The Jonin left all shocked at Team 8, and that Kakashi actually passed a team for once. Anko, however, was smirking her ass off. She had humiliated Kakashi, gotten a great Gennin team, had shocked all the Jonin in the village, and was now able to tort- … I mean train three cute little Gennin in the art of sabotage, infiltration/interrogation, and assassination. Oh yes Anko was a very happy person.
AN: ok there was the chapter hoped you enjoyed. Next chapter will be out sometime by next Wednesday, promise. It will be the start of training *insert evil smirk here*. Anyway hope you enjoyed.
Steve: BRING THE POPCORN GUNS! SET UP THE ELECTRIC BARRIER! AND FOR GOD'S SAKE PUT ON SOME EAR-PLUGS! NOW FIGHT WHILE I MAKE A TACTIC RETREAT!
Me: AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T DIE YET! YOU WILL SERVE AS CANNON FODDER LATER!
Steve: HERE COME THE FLAMING CONFETTI BOMBS. DUCK AND COVER.
Me: Ok that's getting annoying *grabs some morphine* come here Steve I got some super steroids so you can kill the cheerleaders faster.
Steve: YOSH! I SHALL TAKES THESE AND BE FILLED WITH THE SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH TO DEFEAT THE UNYOUTHFUL CHEERLEADERS!
*Out of nowhere Guy and Lee appear*
Guy: YOSH! ANOTHER YOUTH FOLLOWER! REJOICE IN THE SPRING OF YOUTH!
Lee: YOSH SENSEI! THIS ONE IS TRULLY YOUTHFUL! MAN HUG OF YOUTH GO!
*Guy, Lee, and Steve hug each other and the dreaded sunset genjutsu appears behind them*
Me: OH GOD NO MAKE IT STOP! *stabs needles filled with morphine into all three of them*
*They all fall to the ground out cold*
Me: Thank god for that. I was scared for a moment *sigh*. Anyway thanks for reading the chapter and dealing with this foolishness. Have a good weekend JA NE.
