Want Three
"Alice, have you seen anything?" Emmett stood with his arms crossed, worried about what his sister might say.
"No, nothing," Alice said pointedly, her hands on her hips. "I've told you, I can't see Edward. His decision is what matters here. All we're ever going to know in advance is that Carlisle wants to mate with Edward. But seeing as Edward's future remains blank, I imagine he has no intentions to indulge Carlisle."
Realizing he would have to be satisfied with that, Emmett dropped his arms to his sides. "Can we do anything to make Carlisle see reason? Esme is slipping away from us."
It was true. Esme had been slowly becoming more distant, first with Carlisle, then with Edward. Now, she was distant with everybody, and they were worried - so worried - that Carlisle hadn't even seemed to notice.
Alice shook her head solemnly. "I haven't seen any of us getting involved. Esme is planning to go to Denali for a while. I'm not sure when she'll do it. She keeps changing her mind."
Emmett nodded, and left to find Rose. He needed the distraction of her body to make him forget this sense of foreboding.
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Esme did decide to take a trip to Denali. Silently, she had packed her bags and brought them downstairs. She readied the key to the BMW in her hand and waited for Carlisle to come home from work. As she stood there, contemplating leaving, she felt a tightening in her chest, as though a hand was squeezing her heart in a vise. As much as it pained her, she knew this was the best thing for her. Carlisle was never going to be the same as he used to be. Something had switched in him, like a light being turned on - or off. Esme was not part of that change, and she knew it.
That was why she had to leave. She loved her family dearly, but had not told them she was leaving. She couldn't bear to say goodbye. They had all gone on a hunt earlier in the evening. They had invited her along, but she explained she wanted to wait for Carlisle to come home, and that the two of them would meet up with the rest later. At the time, she believed that. But after they'd left, and she was alone with her thoughts, she began to consider what her life had become.
Carlisle ignored her now. She would speak and it would be like he didn't know she was there, It was destroying her inside. The worst part was that Carlisle was so consumed, he didn't even realize what he was doing to Esme. His wife figured he didn't care. She doubted he would truly listen to what she had to say to him tonight.
The hum of the motor could be heard now - Carlisle was close. She stood-stock still by the front door, the key fob firmly in her grip. Esme listened to the car pull into the garage, then the motor cut off, followed by the approaching footsteps of her husband. Carlisle entered the house, setting his briefcase down and hanging up his keys by the door, with barely a glance and a nod for Esme.
She cleared her throat. "Carlisle?"
He did not look at her, only fiddled with his sweater vest. "Hmmm?"
Esme walked up to him and grasped his shoulders, shaking them a little to encourage him to look at her. He complied, but there was a distance in his eyes.
"Car, I'm going to Denali. I miss Tanya and Kate and Carmen."
"Okay."
"I won't be long. Maybe a few months."
"Take as much time as you need."
Carlisle shrugged out of her grasp and walked down the hallway, not pausing to look back. Esme watched as he left her standing there, suitcases at her feet, her hopes dashed. Life as she knew it was over. Only now did she truly begin to grasp the true implications of eternity.
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He recognized that his recent behavior was pushing them away, but Carlisle was grateful for his family, even if his sole purpose for creating them had been to distract himself from his impure desires for his young ward. He looked at the bright side - had he given in to his desires sooner, he would never have found and changed any of those precious souls. In fact, they had all been changed because of Edward. Esme was changed to be Carlisle's mate in order to deny to himself his feelings for Edward. Rosalie was changed because Carlisle felt guilty for being mated while Edward was not. Emmett was changed because Rosalie wanted a mate, and Edward wasn't interested in her. So Emmett was also changed as an indirect result of Edward. Alice and Jasper came on their own, but they initially stayed not because of Carlisle's leadership, but because Edward understood what is was like to have a life-changing ability, and that made them feel comfortable. Carlisle suddenly realized that every single thing he did since that fateful night in 1918 had been for Edward. The revelation should have surprised him, but it didn't. It only proved to him how right this was. He was done denying himself. He could no longer resist what was meant to be.
"Do you want me to help?"
Carlisle glanced over at Jasper, who was sitting in an armchair nearby. He hadn't noticed the empath sitting there. Carlisle couldn't help but smile. How could he have won Jasper's allegiance - a vampire that he hadn't sired - so completely? He was proud and awed to be able to call Jasper son.
"I appreciate the offer, but I don't need it."
Jasper grinned wide and winked at him before turning back to his book.
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Edward was in Carlisle's study, running his fingertips over the spines of the doctor's book collection. It would seem to the outside observer that he was absently looking for something to read. In fact, Edward was not searching the shelves at all - he was thinking of Carlisle.
You see, there was a reason that Edward had remained alone for over a century. It wasn't because he was turned to young, as Esme used to muse. It wasn't because he was asexual, as Emmett liked to joke. If only they knew how he pined for Carlisle. The two men hadn't had enough time together before Esme came along. They never got the chance to explore their relationship to the next level and Edward was stuck - forever wondering what might have been. Now, the opportunity thoroughly missed, he was relegated to the role of son, as he had been for many decades. He accepted this because it made Carlisle happy. And Edward longed to please his sire. But a piece of him always ached with hope for the possibility that Carlisle would one day choose him.
Edward was pulled from his musings when he felt the tenor of his maker's mind approaching. Carlisle's thoughts were eerily blank - devoid even of the usual recitation of scripture he used to block Edward's gift. Edward picked up the first book he saw and turned purposefully, as though he were already planning on leaving. The older vampire entered his study with a slight swagger and a strange twinkle in his eye.
What did you choose? Edward startled, and gulped, "Huh?"
Carlisle suppressed a smirk. The book.
"Uh...oh! Um..." Edward stammered, glancing down at the book's cover. He took in the title - at first, aghast by what he saw, and then resignation set in. He answered, shrugging, "Paradise Lost."
You hate Paradise Lost. Edward stood, speechless. He did hate Paradise Lost. He was caught. He grew nervous, unsure of what to do. He didn't get time to figure it out.
Carlisle was by his side in an instant, his hand raised to grasp Edward's shoulder in an attempt to turn the boy to face him. Edward did turn, but he flinched away - recoiling from the shock of Carlisle's sudden touch. Edward's eyes were wide with surprise as he heard Carlisle's thoughts darkening with lust, and he started to back away. Each backwards step only brought Carlisle closer - as though he was compelled to follow, drawn to the boy like a moth to a flame. Too soon for his liking, the backs of Edward's knees brushed against Carlisle's desk, and he had nowhere to go. Carlisle hadn't stopped his advance, and now he stood chest to chest with Edward. The young man was only slightly smaller than Carlisle was, but his boyish appearance made him seem more vulnerable. Carlisle liked that.
The elder vampire tapped his disciple's chest with enough force to make him sit on the edge of the desk. The boy's eyes slid closed, and he tilted his head up and away as form of avoidance, but his efforts to resist were quickly deflated. In a continuous movement, Carlisle ran his fingertips down the boy's chest, across a nipple, down his abdomen, until he reached his lap, squeezing the hardness he found there. Edward had no control over the low, sensual moan that escaped him.
Edward opened his eyes, though they remained heavy-lidded, and looked directly at his sire. He struggled to employ his final defense. "E-Esme..." he managed to breathe.
"Shhhh..."
Carlisle pressed the tip of his index finger to Edward's pretty pink lips to silence him. Edward swallowed hard at the lump forming in his throat. He watched Carlisle 's eyes as the man watched his finger trace its way along Edward's jaw, down his neck, and over his silvery scar. Carlisle's lips quirked as he traced over the scar he'd left, the mark corrupting Edward's otherwise perfect skin for eternity.
So many ways I'll corrupt him... His progeny shivered when he heard Carlisle's thoughts.
Carlisle's lips were almost brushing Edward's, and the tension in the air was thick.
You came first. "You should always have been first."
Carlisle ran one hand through the hair at the back of the boy's head and drew him that millimeter closer. When finally their lips met, Edward quickly folded. His body leaned against Carlisle for support as he melted into the kiss he had longed for since the night of his rebirth.
Breaking the connection, Carlisle pulled away slightly to look Edward in the eye. He cupped the boy's face, and Edward stared back at him, his eyes pitch black.
I should have done this a long time ago. "I've always wanted you, Edward."
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A/N: I know, I'm terrible for leaving it this way. Want to see more?
P.S. - Paradise Lost is a reference to a great fic by "Edward A. Mason" called My Lost Youth. Go read it, it's great!
