Rin's office phone rang; jarring her from her wandering mind. She picked up the phone and answered, thinking it was another task she had to add to her plate. "Hello?"

"Rin? I need you to come to my office. It is very important." Inutashio spoke urgently, and she knew something was off.

She immediately stood. "Absolutely. I'll be there soon."

8

When she arrived at his office, his facial expression was serious. "I called you here because I wanted to know if you would be willing to take on a mission. It is a Class X mission, Rin. We've lost twelve members of the security team in the past three months. I didn't want to ask, but you have high skills and training needed for this mission. I need your help."

A long silence fell between the two.

After awhile, she nodded. "I accept, although I have a request."

Golden orbs widened. "Anything."

"I request that no one is told of this agreement, and that in the event of my death, do not disclose how or why. I also will not be at Sesshomaru's wedding. I request to be sent on business trip or errands."

Inutaisho sighed. "Request...granted."

She smiled gently at him. "I will do whatever I can to protect this family. I owe you that. You and Izayoi have done so much for me. This is the least I can do for you."

Shocked golden eyes locked with hers. "You do not owe us anything, Rin. You are a part of this family. One of us. Maybe you shouldn't-"

Rin shook her head. "Please let me do this. I want to fight, and I want to be useful. I have people I want to protect. I can't do that hiding in an office."

Inutaisho nodded solemnly; he knew that he couldn't stop her otherwise.

8

A Few Months Later-Rin POV

A thousand unspoken words flowed through my veins as I held the wedding invitation in my hands.

This was cruel.

Why hadn't anyone told them was not going to be present? Why have them send me an invitation? I haven't seen him in days anyways.

I could tell he was happy-just from the way he had talked about her at a family dinner a few weeks back. His usual serious and reserved face had softened into an expression of love and warmth that I wish I had had the opportunity to see more of. There was one key factor to this statement: she had been the one to warm his heart. She had "been the missing piece of himself that he had been looking for", and that they "saw eye to eye on so many things". I won't deny that I envy her, or that shards of pain etch my heart; but I am happy for him that he has found the person he was looking for, and that everyone I hold dear to my heart has found the same happiness.

For myself, I feel that my life has slowed to a crawl, and that I am stuck in a corner watching my life and the world pass me by without batting an eyelash. Feelings of emptiness has plagued me for so long that it is now a part of me, and I have missed crucial parts of life: love, accomplishments, and growth. No one knows this. I tell no one of my thoughts, because no one wants to hear such dark things. I tell myself that it is wrong to feel this way, and are not valuable. To function, I ignore how I feel and that I do not need anyone. I commandeer my own ship that can only sail if it is of my own volition.

The mission has given me a purpose, and I intend to fulfill it to the best of my ability.

8

A few days before the rehearsal for the wedding, Rin heard a soft knock on her apartment door.

Kagome.

She quietly opened the door and greeted her friend. Kagome's face was etched with worry. "Hey, Rin! How are you?"

Rin carefully maneuvered herself in the doorway to hide the growing stacks of boxes and bags. "Hey, Kags. What's up? Is everything okay?" She put on a poker face to disguise her emotion.

Her friend sighed. "I looked at the security deployment log and your name was on it! You aren't even going to be here for the wedding? What's going on? No one has told me anything!"

Rin leaned her tired head against the door frame. "I have a mission to do. It's part of the job. I'm not going to refuse a mission that will help to protect the company, Kagome. You and everyone knows this."

Tears leaked from her eyes. "I understand, but...have you told him how you felt at least?"

Old wounds reopened from the simple sentence. Rin's chest felt the heavy burden settle in her chest again. "What do you want me to do, Kagome? He's happy. That's all that matters. "She spoke with a soft, anguished tone. "I'm not getting in the way of something wonderful like that. It's not my place. Even if I felt…that way, I would never do that. I value our friendship more than that. Please, understand me."

Kagome put her hands on Rin's shoulders and gave her friend a fierce, yet emotional look. "Why are you so hell bent on leaving all of a sudden? Where are you going? Why won't you be here for the wedding? Please tell me. I don't understand you, Rin...I don't understand…"

Rin smiled gently at her friend. "I want to help out the company, Kagome. I want to make a difference. I don't want to be there. I think you understand that better than anyone else. Let me go, Kagome. I want to go on the business trip. I can't tell you because it's classified."

Kagome took a step back. "O-okay, Rin. Call me when you land or get to wherever you're going."

Rin hugged her friend. "Thank you. I appreciate everything you have done for me. I just wanted you to know that."

Kagome's eye brows furrowed in confusion. "Why are you acting like this, Rin? What is really going on?"

"Rin, what is wrong?" Kagome demanded as she watched her friend's poker face crack.

Rin shook her head. "Nothing. I'm fine. Excuse me..."

Rin walked out of her apartment and quickly ran to her car.

"Rin! Please..." Kagome's anguished voice halted the poor girl in her tracks. "Why? Why are you leaving? Why won't you be here?"

Tears ran down Rin's face as she turned to her friend. "I'm never the one. I'm never the girl that a person wants to hang out with. I'm ignored. Forgotten. No one wants anything to do with me unless they are bored, or want something from me. I'm never the one that a guy chooses to love. I've come to realize that I will never be enough. For anyone. And that I will always be forgotten. Kagome," she paused as the emotion griped her throat

"There are weeks when people don't even ask me a simple question like how I am doing. They say hello if they see me walking by, and that's the end of conversation. I won't be there at the wedding because I'm choosing to be the one to leave. I'm going to leave him alone and let him be happy. I won't interfere with that. I want him to be happy and be with the one he loves."

She gripped her car for support as her shoulders shook. "I'm...not coming back, Kagome. I'm going on the X Mission, and I won't stop until I have tried to do as much as I can to protect the people I love. So please...if you love me at all, let me go do what I have to. And for my safety, please don't tell anyone, especially him. Please."

Kagome broke down and pulled the broken girl into her arms. "You are always enough for me, Rin. Always. I won't tell anyone, but promise me something."

Rin looked into Kagome's crying eyes. "Anything."

"Promise me you are going to tell him how you feel before you leave."

Her breath caught in her throat. "...I will…"

Kagome gave the crying woman a hug; and watched her get into the car and drive away. Worry filled her heart for Rin.