CHAPTER THREE
A month had passed by slowly, and I was still getting sick every morning. Very few people had continued to notice, Ville included. When he asked me why I would dash off every morning, I told him that after a night of sleep, I needed to take a strong piss. He bought it, and questioned me no longer. I was still wondering when it would start to show, and what I would say then.
On the 20th of April, all the boys went off to get stoned. I wasn't particularly fond of the idea, but I stayed back with Kelly and played with the girls. Ava had just turned four, and Scarlett was now two years old, and livelier than ever. Playing with the little girls, I began to imagine how I may be someday with my children.
"Kelly, I really need to tell you something."
She gave me a curious look, "What is it?"
"First, you have to promise not to tell anyone, no matter what. This is difficult to say as it is, and would be more difficult to say to anyone else. Okay?"
She nodded, and replied, "I promise."
"I…I'm pregnant," I blurted out.
"That's wonderful!" she cried, pulling me into a hug. "You and Ville must be so happy!"
I looked down at my feet, "Um…he doesn't know."
"Why not? Are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know if I want to…because it's not his."
"How do you know?"
I sighed, "I am ten weeks along. Ville and I have only been dating for two months. I was already pregnant by then."
"But that means…"
"You cannot tell anyone! Please!"
"He should know, Nat."
I nodded, but said nothing more. The men all returned three hours later, at a time where I was taking another nap. I was only ten weeks along, but very tired, and I was taking daily naps often. Everyone let me sleep, and when it was time for dinner, Ville came and woke me up. When I reached the kitchen, Kelly handed me a plate, and helped me scoop up tons of food. She insisted that I keep it healthy.
It was one of the most full plates I had brought into the dining room during the entire stay, but very few people noticed it. Bam, who always knew I was a stick thin person, glanced over a few times, but I did nothing. For all I knew, I wasn't showing at all yet, and there would be nothing for Bam, or anyone, to yet suspect. Nonetheless, I continued to eat every piece of food that Kelly had given me.
I had known all along how awkward this "camp-out" would be for me, but I never assumed that it would be the same for Bam. Although I was very much involved with Ville, and went many places with him, I knew deep inside that my heart still belonged to Bam. It seemed like his still belonged to me, as well, but I didn't hope on it. After all, he could have felt weird just because he felt bad about everything.
While getting ready for bed that night, I felt two arms snake around my waist from behind. Turning myself around, I looked into the lusting eyes of my boyfriend. I smiled to him, and gave him a small kiss. He leaned down and began to nip at my neck, but I made sure to flip the gesture before he could leave any sort of mark.
"Not tonight," I told him as I stopped biting him, "I'm tired."
We climbed into bed, turned out the light, and I drifted off to sleep within moments. When I opened my eyes, it seemed like it had only been ten minutes. I checked the clock, and it was early, but much more than ten minutes. Soon I felt a rumble in my stomach, and decided it would be best to go down to the kitchen and get myself and the baby a midnight snack before we both went nuts.
Everything was dark, and I had to hold on tight as I climbed down the stairs. It had taken well over five minutes for me to make a one minute walk, but I had been happy to be safe. Entering the kitchen, I noticed that the light was on, and I approached with caution. There was no noise to be heard, but I knew someone was there.
"What are you doing down here?"
I stopped in my tracks to face Bam, "Uh…snack. I'm a little hungry."
"Hungry? After that dinner you had?"
I nodded, and without saying another word, walked toward the fridge.
"Wait."
I stopped, and I could hear him approaching behind me as I asked, "What?"
"I'm sorry, Nat. For everything."
At that moment, I was sure I could burst into tears. My eyes were already watering. I didn't dare turn around, and there was silence for another few moments. Finally, still hungry, I continued toward the fridge, and grabbed myself some cold chicken breast from it. I didn't look away from the food, but I knew Bam was coming closer to me, as his footsteps betrayed his silence.
"You've been filling out a bit."
I made no notice of hearing the comment, as if it were something normal for me. The truth was that my heart was beating entirely too quickly, as it seemed Bam was about to find out my secret. Chicken was still making its way down my throat, and I refused to turn around and face the man who still held my heart.
Soon enough, just as I was finishing my snack, Bam was standing a foot before me. He placed his hand under my chin, and lifted my head so that I was forced to look at him. His face was calm, and it seemed in some way caring. He moved closer, and it appeared he was going to kiss me. Confused, I was ready to accept, but nothing came. Instead, I felt his lips on my neck.
I felt as if I was going to collapse at the feeling, and began leaning backward. Bam noticed this, and held me close to him as he sucked away at my neck. The pleasure was too much, and I had been waiting too long to feel it again, but I knew that in this state, it was not the best idea to go straight for it again.
I pulled away from Bam, and looking at the floor, I told him, "I'm sorry. This…shouldn't be happening."
