A Tale of Ice and Fire
Disclaimer: All rights belong to George R.R. Martin
03. Becoming Someone Else
"You and Robert seem to be taking to each other well," Lord Rickard said.
It was early in the morning and the sun was just beginning to shine through the windows of the Lord of Winterfell's study. He had decided to take his breakfast there this morning and had insisted his only daughter join him.
Lyanna glanced up from her breakfast as her father spoke. It was more of a statement rather than a question and Lyanna wasn't sure how she should respond. She took a bite of sausage and took her time chewing as she contemplated what type of answer her father was looking for.
Rickard saved her from answering by speaking again. "Lyanna, you are my daughter and I want you to be happy. You may speak your mind."
Lyanna delicately set down her fork, offering her father a small smile. "Things are going well."
Rickard smiled, seeming pleased with his daughter's answer. "He's quite taken with you, I can tell. He has been for some time."
"So I've been told."
Rickard tilted his head, frowning in confusion. "Does it not seem that way to you?"
Lyanna couldn't bring herself to tell her father what she had confided in Ned. That Robert seemed to be more infatuated with her appearance. That he had bedded other women and she was unsure that he would stay only in her bed once they were married. But she knew her father wouldn't understand. And Robert had been lovely enough to her during his stay thus far. Aside from her concerns, she really had no complaints that would warrant her dread of being married to Robert. Maybe he would change, as Ned had suggested, and Lyanna felt she should give Robert the chance to prove it. Not that she had much say in the matter anyway.
So Lyanna gently shook her head and gave her father a practiced smile. "Oh it's probably just jitters. We're going riding today."
"Just the two of you?"
"Yes, Father, but don't worry; my honor will stay intact."
Lord Rickard's face flushed with embarrassment. There were some things fathers didn't want to speak about to their daughters. Although Lyanna's mother had passed not long ago, Rickard couldn't fill the roles that a mother should. Quickly, he switched the subject and Lyanna was all too happy to indulge him. The rest of their meal was pleasant and Robert free.
Robert and Lyanna met in the courtyard just before midday. The cool morning air had change to a gentle northern breeze and Lyanna felt almost warm under the cloak she was wearing. Although, she knew the wind would push harder upon her during riding and then she would be glad she brought a cloak. Lyanna had been riding horses for as long as she could remember and she knew all the tricks to make riding as enjoyable as possible. Although riding was always enjoyable and was probably Lyanna's favorite activity.
Robert greeted Lyanna with a gentle kiss upon her cheek and Lyanna rewarded him with a smile. Lyanna was pleased with the gentlemanly manner he was treating her with. It helped ease her worries over Robert's promiscuous ways.
"It's a lovely day for riding, don't you think?" Lyanna said to start conversation.
"A bit nippy," Robert replied.
"The north isn't that much colder than Storm's End," Lyanna smiled.
"Just cooler enough," Robert replied.
Lyanna moved to mount her horse, and was confused as Robert followed her. He stood behind her, grabbing her waist.
Lyanna jumped involuntarily at the touch and pivoted to look at Robert. "What are you doing?"
"Helping you up," Robert replied, looking confused at her reaction.
Lyanna's eyebrows knitted together. She was an excellent rider, better than most men, and Lyanna couldn't believe Robert didn't know that about her. Most everyone in the entire north knew about her talents. Familiar unease dropped into her stomach. Her concerns that Robert was just infatuated with her looks returned. Did he even know about her? She would have thought he had gathered enough information through all the years they'd known each other. Or at the very least she would have thought Ned would have brought her up in conversation throughout all the years he and Robert had been friends.
But in the ladylike fashion Lyanna had been taught her entire life, Lyanna smiled and gave Robert her softest voice. "Thank you, Robert, but I know my way on a horse very well."
To prove her point, Lyanna swung up on her horse with ease, which seemed to surprise Robert slightly. But then he grinned, moving to his own horse. Robert's reaction helped ease Lyanna slightly. At least he seemed pleased that Lyanna knew how to do what many ladies could not. That seemed like a good sign.
And so the pair exited through the gates onto the dirt path that led to Winterfell. As they rode, Robert began to regal her with stories of sparring matches he had won and the weapons he was proficient in handling. Lyanna nodded along, smiling when appropriate. It wasn't unpleasant conversation, although Lyanna couldn't help but feel put off by the way he was gloating. She thought a real warrior should be humble, although maybe this was what men did to try and impress a woman. But then again, Lyanna would have been more impressed if Robert had actually asked Lyanna any questions or let her speak. She had barely said a word as the sun began to rise higher in the sky, signaling that they had been out for near an hour.
Finally, when there was a slight lull in Robert's conversation, Lyanna took her opportunity to speak. Although a proper lady knows to ask about the man first, for whatever silly reason. "So, how are you liking being the lord of Storm's End?"
"I'm already bored with it," Robert replied. "There's a lot of meetings to attend and a lot of people to talk to. The especially dull conversations happen with the common folk, asking for this or that. Explaining their woes of a bad harvest or livestock that had been raided by this animal or another. But then I remember, I'm the lord, and I leave the counselors to deal with the boring aspects and I go out hunting."
As Robert began to ramble about all the beasts he had slain on his hunting trips, Lyanna frowned. In her experience, lords didn't act in that manner. They had duties to fulfill, which was the price of being blessed with the amenities that most people lacked. To her, Robert's actions just seemed childish and irresponsible, even more so that he seemed to be gloating about it. Was this the kind of man Robert really was? And if so, did Ned or her father know about this? She was always being told that how you treated others is what really showed the kind of person you were.
"So Lyanna," Robert suddenly said, breaking Lyanna from her thoughts. "How does life fair for you? Sewing and gossiping is what you ladies do best, right? You'll get plenty of that in Storm's End. That is, if I ever let you leave the marriage bed!"
Robert laughed, his loud booming laugh. But Lyanna knew he wasn't joking. This was the man she was to be married to. Who spoke to her with disrespect that Robert thought was normal behavior. That all she was to him was a vessel for his pleasures and future heirs and a pretty trophy he could sit in a room with boring women with their boring gossip for the rest of her life.
And just like that, Lyanna felt trapped. Maybe this is how all ladies felt. Growing up, Lyanna was told stories of knights in shimmering armor. Tales of true love and happy endings. But it was a fairy tale. And deep down, Lyanna had always known that. But suddenly, it was reality. That marriage wasn't for love. It was for alliances. For the eyes of the world to see.
And Lyanna didn't speak a word for the remainder of their ride. She didn't speak about herself. She didn't bother to tell her intended that, while efficient at the task, Lyanna didn't even like sewing. If she was going to be pricked by metal, she would prefer it to be in a sparring match with swords, or daggers or anything. She didn't tell him her love of the smell of mud, whether it be from the ground kicked up by her horse, or in the training yard after dark where she could shoot an arrow at a target without being reprimanded.
An hour later, the two were back in the courtyard, dismounting their steeds. At least Robert didn't try to help her down from her horse.
"Well I promised Ned I'd give him a thrashing in the training yard. And I'm sure you have tea to attend to. Until dinner," Robert kissed Lyanna's hand in parting, and presumable went in search of her brother.
Lyanna continued to stand beside her horse. Her hand on its neck. Would she even be able to ride when she got married? Would she be able to speak? Would she even being able to remotely resemble who she was? Did it matter to think about it? Her fate was already sealed and she would simply have to do her best to accept who she must become. Not fierce Lyanna Stark of the north, but Lady Baratheon of Storm's End.
Much to Lyanna's annoyance, Robert had been right. She did have tea to attend to. Well, actually lunch. But it wasn't for petty gossip, and not with a bunch of simpering ladies. She was having lunch with her closest friend, and really the only girl she could make a connection to. Alys, Winterfell's blacksmith's daughter, had been Lyannas companion for as long as she could remember. They were close in age, only about a year apart, and because her father made the weapons and the finest jewelry for Winterfell, Alys was a welcome visitor to the castle when she got to take time away from the forge.
What Lyanna liked so much about Alys is she wasn't a simpering lady whose only 'proper' entertainment was to sew. Alys worked along side her father in the forge. She didn't actually craft anything; one had to be strong and muscular to be able to work with a hammer and an anvil and Alys was small and slender. But Alys helped with the orders and readying the materials and helped design jewelry that Lyanna knew first hand was beautiful. She always wore the necklace that Alys made for her that was a simple silver change with a pendant in the shape of the direwolf head that was printed on the Stark banners that hanged just above her breasts. As the direwolf was a profile,there was only one eye on the pendant, but it was a small sapphire that reminded Lyanna of the winter roses she loved so much.
Alys was like Lyanna in so many ways. She didn't have to be a proper, highborn lady like Lyanna, but she would have hated to be. She found the heat of the forge intoxicating, even with the smell of soot and melted steel. She loved being invited to ride with Lyanna. And most of all, she was interested in what Lyanna had to say. Not about who was courting who or what the latest fashion trends were in the south, but of what kind of sword Lyanna had always wanted to wield or the fascinating adventures that Lyanna read about in books. Not the silly adventures of a knight saving a damsel in distress. But the tragedies and the stories of hardships of well seasoned warriors.
So, Lyanna was all too happy to take a break from Robert and have lunch with her friend. Alys sat across from her at the small table in Lyanna's chambers. She wore a simple dress the color of crèam, her dirty blonde hair braided and wrapped around her head. But her pretty green eyes were gazing at Lyanna intently, which didn't bode well for Lyanna.
"Well?" she prompted.
"Well what?" Lyanna raised an eyebrow, taking a sip from her goblet.
Alys rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Well, spill about Robert Baratheon! You're betrothed and have been spending an awful lot of time together."
Lyanna sighed, setting down her goblet in exaggerated slowness, thinking of what she should say. She knew she could speak to Alys about anything, but talking about it made her fears even more real and honestly, Lyanna just wanted to accept what had been chosen for her. She was finding it difficult, however, as she was even described by her father as a fierce wolf. Fierce wolves didn't accept, they fought, tooth and nail. What was the point in being a wolf if you were just going to be chained to a tree?
"He's quite dreamy, isn't he?" Alys said when Lyanna had yet to respond.
"He is handsome," Lyanna nodded in agreement.
"But...?"
"But what?"
Alys scoffed, clearly exasperated with Lyanna's evasiveness. "Well you're certainly not swooning. You're not glowing. In fact, when I said his name you had a pained look on your face."
"Is it that obvious?" Lyanna asked with a frown.
"Kind of," Alys shrugged, "But I'm good at reading people. So what troubles you?"
"Everything about him except his looks."
"You're going to have to be more specific," Alys said, her tone of voice one she would probably use to speak to a child.
Lyanna wasn't fond of the tone, but she supposed she should probably speak up. At least someone was willing to listen. "He's just...I don't know quite how to describe it. He's completely disrespectful."
"In what way?"
"In every way!" Lyanna finally exclaimed as her frustration finally broke free. "From the sound of it, he's completely irresponsible with his duties as a lord and all he does is brag about how he bests every opponent and slaughters animals. And for someone who is so in love with me, he doesn't know anything about me! He didn't even know I could ride a horse..."
Alys grimaced at that. "That is pretty bad..."
"He doesn't love me," Lyanna said in dismay. "He just loves the idea of me."
"Well...with all due respect, Lyanna, that's probably what all highborn ladies deal with. Arranged marriages rarely end in love for their partner."
"I know...I just had hoped we'd connect on some level. He doesn't seem the least bit interested in who I am. Not to mention, I highly doubt our marriage will be anything but a way for him to produce heirs. Even though he's already done that."
"I thought I had heard he had fathered a bastard...I wasn't sure if it was true," Alys frowned.
"It's true. Ned claims it will be different once we're wed, but marriage doesn't change a man. He's supposedly been in love with me for years and yet he's been bedding other women? That doesn't sound like love to me."
"You're right," Alys nodded. "I've seen the way he looks at you. But it's hard to tell if it's because of lust or love."
"You really are observant, aren't you?" Lyanna raised an eyebrow. "How have you even seen the way he looks at me anyway?"
Alys rolled her eyes again. Lyanna was starting to get a little tired of that. "I was at the feast, Lyanna."
Lyanna sighed. "Well, it doesn't matter. I'm betrothed now. And if it's not Robert, it will just be some other lord who probably won't be much better."
"Well, brooding over it won't help," Alys said wisely. "It's best to try and think positively."
"I'm trying," Lyanna sighed. "No one except for you has noticed my reservations."
"That's probably for the best," Alys mused thoughtfully. "Besides, Ned likes him, so he can't be all bad. Given time, maybe you'll see another side of him."
It was Lyanna's turn to roll her eyes. "So just because Ned says something, it's the absolute truth?"
"Well..."
"Oh Alys, please don't tell me you're still lusting after my brother."
Alys' pale cheeks flushed. "It's not like that! It's just...well, Ned has a good character. You know what they say; you're defined by the company you keep."
Lyanna couldn't help the smirk that slipped onto her face. "If you say so, Alys."
Alys retaliated by throwing a chunk of bread at Lyanna's face.
On the day of Robert's departure, the Starks were gathered in the courtyard the same as they were upon his arrival. As Robert's company readied and mounted their horses, Robert gave his brotherly farewell to Ned.
"Now you keep Lyanna safe from all those other suitors," Robert told Ned, beaming with pride that made Lyanna inwardly flinch.
Ned, too, seemed uncomfortable with the request, whether or not it was a jest (which no one could discern). "Have a safe journey. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon."
"I'm counting on it," Robert said before turning to Lyanna. "It was a pleasure to spend time in your company, Lady Lyanna. I look forward to our next meeting."
"As do I," Lyanna smiled. She was still having trouble sorting out her feelings about her intended.
With a kiss planted on Lyanna's right hand, Robert waved to the Starks before mounting his steed and bellowing out to his bannermen that they were departing. The Starks watched them leave until the last horse had exited through the wooden gates
"I have a meeting to attend to," Lord Rickard then announced. "Brandon, I want you to join me."
"Yes, Father," Brandon nodded and the two made their way to the castle.
"So..." Ned turned to Lyanna, which also peaked Benjen's interest.
"Why is everyone starting their sentences with that these days?" Lyanna crossed her arms.
Ned held his hands up in surrender. "I apologize. I'm sure you're sick of everyone asking if you've fallen for our dear Robert yet."
Lyanna frowned, but she tried to hide any real emotions from her face. She didn't want to speak to Ned about her reservations of her intended. After all, Robert was like a brother to Ned. Lyanna hadn't been able to discern Ned's true feelings of their betrothal; he was better at concealing his emotions than Lyanna. Although, his brooding nature was a common trait among the Starks. Lyanna hadn't inherited said trait. She wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing.
"Well, sister, I have something I must attend to, but Benjen here has been slacking on his training and I think he needs a good kick in the ass," Ned smirked.
Benjen looked dismayed as Lyanna's eyes lit up. "A real fight, or do we have to use those silly wooden swords?"
"Let's use the wooden ones for now," Ned smiled, patting his sister's arm. "Otherwise you might hack Benjen's arm off."
Benjen protested that his sister would not best him in a spar, but no one was listening. Ned was headed off to whatever was so pressing and Lyanna was almost skipping to the training yard. Benjen sighed and followed after her.
Author's Notes
Well look at that, another chapter! I'm on a roll (that I'm sure will end). As I mentioned, I will be moving so don't get too excited about my fairly close postings. Also, I do apologize for the rather boringness of this chapter. But like I said, we've got to set up some back story. But next chapter will be more exciting, I hope! I'll give you a hint: it involves Harrenhal *gasp*
Oh, a note about winter roses since I mentioned them in this chapter. We all know that winter roses were Lyanna's favorite flower. Now, for some reason, in my mind, I think of winter roses as being blue. I don't know if I actually read that in the books or if that's just the image my brain conjured. So for the purposes of my story, winter roses are blue! (Sorry if that's not cannon)
As always, thanks for reading! The reviews have been much appreciated and are helping push me to get writing! Lots of love!
