Here's where things get a little…interesting. J
Oh, and please excuse any typos in the last chapter. It was two in the morning. What can I say?
Please read and review!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I own jerk off Edward.
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"You smell disgusting."
Well, thank you jackass.
I gave him a once over, from the disgusted look on his face to the designer scarf around his neck.
The sad thing about this is I knew what was going to happen. Here's this guy, first thing he says to me is blunt and rude, he's very attractive, he's dressed like an Abercrombie model and I already hate him.
I'm sorry, I tend to judge a book by it's cover. Perhaps its because I'm an avid reader.
"Yeah, well I'm sorry if my smell doesn't quite reach your standards, pretty boy."
He smiled a cocky sort of half grin that made him look somewhat deformed. I'm sure he thought it was charming.
"You think I'm pretty?"
"Let me rephrase that. I'm sorry if my smell doesn't reach your standards, dick head."
I really don't know why, but this kid was pissing me off. Violently. He just had that face you want to hit. And he was so god damn cocky. I could tell.
The smile melted off his face and a cold look replaced the cocky one in his eyes. Once again, I'm sure it was supposed to be menacing and mysterious. Hmmm… not quite.
"Can we get my shit loaded up? Its really cold."
"Oh, hello, I'm Edward. Of course I'll help you! No need to thank me!"
Shit, this kid needed to stop with the sarcasm That was my game.
"Yeah, okay Edward. I'll play along. Lets just get this over with."
I wasn't normally this rude to perfect strangers, but there was just something…
I didn't have much with me. About four duffle bags and two boxes. And my purse.
But this guy was looking at my baggage like I had the fucking cirque de so lei in my backseat.
Ah. Probably wondering how my luggage would fit in his pretentious prick pod of a car. A Volvo. And a silver one at that. Why doesn't he just wear a sign that says: I heart penis?
It would match with his clothing.
He actually started loading my things after the incredulous look melted off of his face. I couldn't even criticize his looks however. He was… somewhat on the sexy side.
I've always had a thing for the hair. And this kid was sporting some crazy ass sex hair. It had some kind of reddish penny thing going on. And his eyes were pretty when he wasn't trying to make them brooding and mysterious. They were a nice shade of green.
He had muscle. He was tall. Why didn't I like him?
But I already knew the answer. Cocky men pissed me off, because they reminded me of Jacob.
"Bella? I put your 'shit in the car'. Can we go?"
Impatient mother fucker.
I climbed into his gay mobile and decided I was just going to sit in silence the rest of this ride. What else could I do?
But the ass decided to pry.
"What brings you to L.A?"
"I'm planning on becoming a stripper to support my coke addiction."
He turned to look at me with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open. The jerk off believed me. Did he not know sarcasm? He certainly attempted to use it.
"Oh, wipe the disbelieving look of your face. I'm opening an art studio."
"To support your coke habit?" He smirked.
Touche, ass hole.
"No. I'm starting fresh. Leaving all that stuff behind in Phoenix." I don't even care if he thinks I do coke. Maybe he'll think I'm crazy and be afraid of me.
"But you smoke?"
I nodded, looking at him from my peripheral vision. He was looking straight ahead at the road, his brow furrowed.
Something about this kid just rubbed me the wrong way. He hadn't even done anything yet and I was on the defensive.
"Yes." Better to not go into detail about the fact that I had just started about thirty minutes ago.
He turned to look at me, and I noticed with scorn that he didn't even have to look at the road to drive perfectly. I wonder how long he had to practice so he could impress people with that particular talent?
"You know, smoking is a terrible habit. It can cause many health problems, such as cancer of the lung and mouth…."
I blocked him out after the first sentence. I wonder what room Alice was going to give me?
I would be moving in with Rose and Alice, in their five bedroom, five and a half bathroom mansion.
It was only fifteen minutes drive from my studio that I still had to set up.
Was he still talking? My god, he was still talking.
"Are you listening?" He looked slightly annoyed, and I'm sure it was because he was used to females hanging on his every word.
"No."
"Hmph."
"Listen, Surgeon General, I'm a big girl. I know what I'm getting myself into."
"It's disgusting and unladylike. You smell like a chimney."
Unladylike? Who was he to differentiate what ladylike was?
"Unladylike? Please, Please tell me you haven't adopted the ideals from god knows what century where a man smokes, drinks and gambles and he's a big macho fuckoff but if a girl shows her ankles she's a prostitute."
He looked straight at me. His eyes said, 'Yes.'
"Well, could you please, please," The fucker was mocking me! "tell me you haven't adopted the ideals of a carpet munching, hippie, feminist."
Ah there it is. Little Edward has a foul mouth.
And it pissed me off.
"I've known you for no more than fifteen minutes-"
"Thank God, I don't know if I could take much more." The ass hole had the nerve to interrupt me?
"You haven't seen the worst of it." I was glaring holes in the side of his stupid face.
"I don't intend to. I wouldn't want to listen to the ranting of a bra burner."
"How dare you call me a feminist. It's men like you," and I actually poked his arm, "That turn women into bra burners as you put it so intelligently!"
"Men like me?" He looked genuinely surprised, his eyes wide.
"Yes, men like you! Ass holes who think they're so hot and everyone wants them. Cocky bastards who walk around like they're the dirty shit! You don't know everything! Stop acting like you do!"
"Did you, or did you not just say that you've known me for all of fifteen minutes? And now you're informing me of all my faults?"
"They're so evident I spotted them in the first fifteen seconds I knew you."
"I honestly think you're being a bit harsh."
"Oh, don't make me vomit all over your personalized pea coat you homo."
He looked at me in shock. Oh yeah, douche bag. I was knocking the clothes.
"Listen here, woman-" he said it with such scorn I laughed.
"You hate women, you dress like the poster boy for Abercrombie, and you drive this homobile. Are you really going to tell me you're not gay?"
"Okay, bitch. That's enough."
It was my turn to look at him in shock.
"Did you. Did you just call me- a bitch?"
"This is a car. We're driving on a road. You are a bitch. These are all facts."
Oh, that was it.
"Pull over. Pull over right now!"
"And what? Leave you on the side of the road? No matter how tempting, Alice would kill me in my sleep."
"That's what I'm betting on."
He rolled his eyes and kept driving.
"I'm fucking serious, Eddy. Pull the damn car over, or ill jump out while you're moving."
I heard the faint click of the child lock.
"Did you seriously just pull the damn child lock?"
"Well, you're acting like a child. It seemed fitting."
God, I hate this prick.
"God, you're such a prick."
"Yeah, but I'm a hot prick."
My jaw literally dropped.
He turned to look at me and he smiled that deformed crooked smile, obviously thinking he was so intelligent.
"What? You already think I'm an arrogant, cocky, sonuvabitch. Might as well give up pretenses."
And the douche actually winked at me.
Well, shit. He knew how to push my buttons. Maybe I could actually have intelligent arguments with him.
"Not that it matters if I'm hot to the lesbian, right?"
Or not.
