As I stared, I started to fully recognize the things around me. It was a dark room, with the only light source streaming through a barely cracked door.

What lay beyond that door...?

Though it was hard to see, there were glints of metal and the dull color of wood scattered around our room, large, square things stacked sometimes as high as the ceiling; some open, some closed. Smaller items lay scattered around the room, some in puddles of dark liquid, staining what appeared to previously be white a sickening red.

Oh god.

I quickly turn my eyes away, and immediately they fall upon Ichigo, crouched in front of me, a wild look in his eyes as he stared intensely at me.

What did he...

Oh.

Right.

But what do I say?

... I don't know.

My throat stings and itches and crawls anyway, so it doesn't matter. I nod my head once, to let him know I heard him, but the sound that comes from the top of my spine echoes in the deathly still room like the crack of a whip.

Now I'm dizzy.

I hear another whisper from Ichigo as the wild look changes to determination.

Then he's in my face, swirling along with everything else.

"I'm sorry, just hold out a little longer for me..."

There are no words for the agony I feel as my stomach and back explode, and the dark room lights with thousands of fireflies.

Fireflies...

Dancing all around me.


I reach out my hand and one lands on my finger, its wings flickering madly as it glows off and on before taking flight once more. I can hear the soft cadence of chirping barely over the quiet babbling of water brushing against the stone and mud.

I feel... lost.

"Look out!"

The cry startles me, and I whip around to see where it came from when something slams into my head and suddenly I'm lying on a bed of grass. There's a strange voice over me, but when the world finally rights itself there is only Ichigo struggling silently beside me, flailing at his neck as his face turns purple.

I'm afraid.

My vision twists and darkens, and all I can think is I don't want to remember.

I don't want to remember.

Ichigo stops moving and I'm scrambling to my feet but something takes hold of my right arm in a vice grip.

I don't want to remember.

I'm shouting and twisting as something snaps from my wrist.

I don't want to remember.

I open my eyes.

When did I close them?

The room is light now.

But it's getting darker.

Things are moving by too fast for me to make sense of, and a constant rough panting marks every bouncing wave of white-hot pain that radiates from my spine and hips.

Actually, from everywhere in my body.

It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts.

Now it's dark again.

Where are we going?

Where are we?

BANG.

My head spins as I jolt, the room going dangerously black as glass shatters and scatters around us. Wood splinters with every boom that sends tremors through my body, and Ichigo hisses as my stomach somersaults into my throat and we're moving again, much faster this time. Every bounce expands the fire building in my organs and I feel like I'm about to explode.

It hurts.

How Ichigo knows where he's going, I have no idea, but suddenly there's light again. I look up and I can kind of make out Ichigo's face past all the blurs of grey and yellow.

He looks... terrified.

Then I hear it.

Footsteps behind us.

Closing in quickly.

My throat closes and I can't breathe.

He's coming.

How many times will he come for me? Desperation and frustration fill my eyes again and I want to cry out, to release some of this overwhelming emotion, but I can't.

That's against the rules of the game.

So I just stand there, trembling uncontrollably as I listen to the slow, steady footsteps close the distance between us. I twist my head, trying to make anything out past the black velvet that shrouds my sight, but I know it's useless anyway.

I can't see him.

But he can see me.

I bite my lips as the first line is drawn, forcing down the gasp of sudden pain.

I can do this.

It feels like fire in my veins, bubbling and dissolving my wrist as it draws itself downward.

Don't make a sound.

I have to play it right.

It hurts.

I can't...

I can smell my skin burning and I jerk away from the pain, blood slipping down my chin as rough hands tighten on my throbbing shoulder and pull me back toward the sizzling. My stomach twists into a painful knot as the fire burns hotter, pushing through to melt my bones, and I hear the whimper escape my lips before I can fight it off.

I freeze.

He pauses too and now I'm sweating, begging-

Pleading-

Please don't!

I didn't do it!

Don't do it!

I can hear the chains clanking and I'm yanked forward onto unsteady toes, my burning wrist and shoulders crying out with me.

I'm screaming.

Crying.

Begging.

Because I know what comes next. I don't even know what I'm saying, but I'm shouting between every sob and gasp and then the footsteps are leaving and I'm tearing my throat out but he won't listen.

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry...

...It hurts...

Rough callouses are covering my aching, pulsing lips, muffling my voice but I can't stop.

Please, no!

Your Fault.

It hurts...

...

The numb has never been so inviting.

I'm gone.


I'm floating.

It's quiet.

"I'll find a way to get us out of this."

I'm startled by the disembodied voice. Where is it coming from?

I can hear chains again, but this time, I'm not moving. My body aches and my heart pounds in my chest.

"Do your worst."

I'm afraid.

I open my eyes.

"I planned on it."

I don't want to remember.

Ichigo stands on his toes, arms raised high, chained by his wrists to the ceiling. His head turns, watching something with narrow eyes.

I don't want to remember.

Slow, red lines appear down Ichigo's chest and his face scrunches up. He spits on the floor in front of him as blood trickles down his torso.

I don't want to remember.


... It's so bright.

My eyes recoil at the blinding sigh before them, my bones cracking and grinding with every bounce. After a few moments of nothingness, the brightness finally becomes a color, along with a feel.

Blue and scratchy.

Everywhere.

Past the rustling and friction in my ears, voices drift on the wind in patterns of unrecognizable sounds and syllables. The closest voice is a quiet, steady hum that never wavers.

I think... I know that voice.

I start to lift my head, but the bouncing makes the task too difficult. My eyes drift lazily around, but all that meets them is that same, woven blue. Then I can hear Ichigo speaking softly, but he's further away.

Why is he so far away?

There's another voice now, frustratingly familiar like everything else, and my lips curl just slightly.

What's happening to me?

I don't like this new game.

I just want to go home.

... Wherever home is.

I'm so tired.

The next time my eyes open, a piercing orange glow has taken over the blue and slices through my brain. Even more voices surround me, indistinct but pounding in my ears. There's not much I can make out past the glow around me, but somehow the voices, loud and angry, still comfort me.

I'm so tired.

Finally, without warning, the orange light becomes a dimmer, yellowish light above me that doesn't hurt my eyes as much. For a long while I stare at this light, facinated beyond words for no reason at all. I feel like I'm floating on air, my entire body numb to whatever new pain it's supposed to feel. White surrounds the yellow and for a moment, I let go. Darkness twitches at the edges of my vision, but then I hear rustling beside me and I snap my head to the side without thinking.

I wince immediately, adrenaline surging through my body as I tremble, but no pain follows. Blinking my eyes open, breathing heavily, unsure what to think, I see Ichigo climbing up the side of the bed I'm laying in. The room around us is lit only by the light above us, the only door to the room closed, and pure blackness outside the only window. There's bookshelves and a desk and things that make my head spin.

This room... I know this room.

The bed sinks as Ichigo sits down on the side and my body rolls lifelessly toward the dip.

But there was no pain.

Tenderly I stretch, testing my muscles and flesh and bones, waiting for the return of the onslaught, but

There was no Pain.

Suddenly Ichigo's face was the only thing I could see, brown eyes pinched at the edges and brows furrowed in worry. Was something wrong? I watch the panic slowly recede, replaced by such a strong sorrow that I want to cry the tears he would never release. My throat closes up and I hear myself choke over a sob.

Oh.

I'm already crying.

I don't understand what's happening.

"It's okay, Uryuu."

... It is?

... What is?

"Hey. Look at me."

His voice was barely a whisper, but my gaze returned to his without my realizing it had ever left, only to see he had pulled back a little and had a closed hand stretched out toward me, offering me something. It takes my brain a couple minutes to finally send the message to my arm to move, but he waits for me.

He's being patient.

I think this is strange behavior.

Maybe.

There's still no pain when I move, though I move delicately anyway. When my hand is finally under his, I feel the caress of smooth metal slip past my fingers as it pools in the palm of my hand. I stare at this strange piece, admiring its sleek design and glinting silver even as I feel some kind of strong attachment to it.

Have I seen this before...?

"Dad found that while we were looking for you. I thought it might make you feel a little better."

... Found it?

I lost this?

... I own this?

...

Where did I go?

I'm so confused...

Memories... disjointed, out of order, out of place memories, flitting by one right after the other steal the room away from me, but move too fast to make any sense of.

My head is in my hands now, the metal thing long dropped. Ichigo is holding me now, but my sobs rock us both as I try to catch my breath and still my shaking body.

I remember why I don't want to remember.

... It hurts...