Chapter 3

Snape sat on the floor starring at Sprout, she was still asleep. Snape liked the way she snored. While Snape waited for her to wake up, he decided to play some tic tac tow against himself.

After six games of losing, Prof. Spout woke up. She had a dazed look on her face.

"Good Morning" Snape smiled.

"Ow my head" Prof. Sprout rubbed her head, then she looked at Snape, "Oh, hello sexy!"

Snape took her hand, "Prof. Sprout, are you ready for are sex filled date?"

"Please, call me Pomona" She smiled, "You are so sexy"

"Then lets go" Snape helped her up and they left the great hall together.

Snape was about to put his sprout into Prof. Sprout, but a small first year stopped him.

"Prof. Snape, I have a message for you" the boy looked scared.

Snape snarled, "What the fuck are you doing, I'm trying to rape this bitch!"

"I'm sorry but..." the boy looked at his feet, "but Prof. Dumbledor wants to see you in his office" the boy then screamed and ran away.

Snape then pushed Sprout over, "We'll finish this later Pollo, I have to go"

As Snape ran Pomona fell on her knees, "Come back sexy man!"

Snape really wanted to bang that bitch, but he had to see what Dumbledor wanted, bros are more important than hos.

When Snape got to Dumbledor's office, Albus wasn't there, so Snape took a piss in the pensive. After the four hour pee was over, Snape pulled up his skirt and started to leave, but before he could go, Dumbledor came in.

"I'm sorry I was late Severus" Dumbledor sat befind his desk, "I was caught in traffic"

"This better be important" Snape snaped, "I was about to get some much needed sexy"

Albus bowed his head, "I really am sorry Severus, but I have very important things to talk with you about" he paused, "Do you remeber what we talked about over the summer?"

Snape looked confused, he didn't remeber seeing Dumbledor over the summer, he didn't remeber his summer period.

"SERVERUS!" Dumbledor scowled, "We talked about very important things!"

"I don't remeber my summer" Snape shouted, "I only remeber very little"

Dumbledor looked curious, "what do you remeber?"

Snape held his head, "Well I remeber going to Nocturn Alley, and I went shopping at a new store called, Alecia's Weed Emporium. The shop owner gave me a sample of some acid, then every thing went dark" Snape paused, "And that's everything I can remeber"

"Oh" Dumbledor frowned, "then i'll give you a recap"

"Thankyou beautiful" Snape smiled.

"Well I told you some new jokes I learned, and I told you that you have to kill me" Dumbledor looked serious.

Snape's eyes widened, "But but... I can't kill you, were in a bromance."

Dumbledor touched Snape's shoulder, "You must Severus, It's the only you can gain Voldemort's trust, also you made the unbrakeable vow with Bellatrix's mistress."

"I better not have made a vow about sex!" Snape yelled, "I don't want to have sex with any fugly whores, my body is a fugly free zone!"

"No, its nothing like that" Dumbledor smiled, "You just vowed to kill me"

Snape scowled, "But I don't want to kill you, if I kill you, my social life at Hogwarts will go down the fucking drain" Snape shouted, "Filtch will be cooler than me if I kill you!"

Dumbledor stood up,"We are done talking about this" Albus started to leave, "I'm getting my nails done at Gays are US"

For the first time in three days, Snape lowered his head and cried. The only thought he had was, how a day that started so good, could go so bad.