I got up and walked through the dark house. I had to concentrate to remember where I was going. Finally I came to the door I was looking for and slowly opened it. I stepped in and shut the door behind me I walked up to the bed.

"Logan?"

"Rory, what are you doing here? Wait scratch that what are you doing in here in my room?" Logan asked groggily

"I… I uh... Look we need to talk!" I said trying to sound serious but it because it was very hard knowing this was the room I gave Logan my first BJ ever. He taught me.

"Rory it's the middle of the night" he said still groggily but I could tell he was starting to wake up sense it was more of a whiny voice.

"So..." I said like it was no big deal

"So? What do you mean so?" he said starting to sit up while I sat on the bed.

"Well were you sleeping?" I asked seriously on my knees in his bed while he was sitting up. With out his shirt on. I am sure he was only wearing his boxers like he usually did.

"Not completely, but I was almost sleeping thank you very much.

"Logan… please just hear me out?" I said now almost begging

"Fine, I am officially up now, what do you want to talk about?" he said with a mix of anger and curiosity.

"Us" I said seriously

His face scrunched up "what about us?" he said like I said a really lame joke

"Everything Logan we need to talk we haven't talked, like really talked sense… that day" I said strong until the end I knew I was in dangerous territory bringing that day up. I knew this already but he reminded me because as soon as I said it he face fell from unhappy to be woken up to pure ice and hatred.

"There isn't an us anymore" he said icily and got off the bed as if being near me was like being exposed to a lethal disease.

I had to scramble or he would push me out forever. "Logan," I said moving closer to him trying to calm him down "This is you and me, there will always be an us" I said very seriously. Trying to get me to understand

I could tell he was getting mad "No! There would have always been an us but you" he said with venom "ended any chance of that ever happening"

I could feel all my feelings coming up. I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes.

"Logan..."

"No! You quite on us! You said No!" he said now getting mad

Now I started to get upset with him. He couldn't blame this all on me.

"You walked away! I told you I loved you and I wanted us to be together but I wasn't ready yet. I just wasn't ready for marriage like you were at that point. But don't you dare blame this all on me! Because Logan you walked away, you said No to me too. You said no just as much as I did!"

"What was I supposed to do? Sit around and be miserable? I asked you to marry me and you said no Rory… I loved you so much but you couldn't love me as much as I loved you!" he said now starting to calm down.

"Logan, I loved you so much... I don't think you understand how much it killed me when you walked away from me!

"Yeah, well this past year hasn't been a picnic for me either!"He said honestly

"Logan… I love you so much, I want us again, I… I want to be with you! I love you, don't you see that?" I said become more venerable than I ever have been before

This was so not me. I don't go crawling back to guys but … Logan, he was worth fighting for. It was excruciating waiting for Logan to answer me.

"I want that too" he said after a while

"Really?" I said with my tears now freely falling as I felt his arms come around me

He pulled back after a few minutes and I looked up at him. He put his arms at his sides in his pockets

"But I want marriage, I want to marry you, and I don't think I can just date you anymore" and that's when I felt like my stomach was in my throat. I felt like I couldn't breathe "I can't believe I am the one asking for commitment here but I am"

"I am not ready for marriage Logan," I said watching the disappointment in his face "but if marrying you is what you want and the only way we can be together I will marry you! I will!" I said trying to convince him as I saw sadness spread across his face.

"Wow… that's what every guy wants to hear" he said as he started to walk out onto his balcony. With me close behind him "I don't want to marry you but I will" he was not even mad anymore now he was disappointed. Anger I could take but I couldn't take it when he was disappointed in me. He was the one person I loved most in this world and I couldn't take him being disappointed in me. With this knowledge I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"No, Logan …. I love you! I just want to be with you whatever that takes and if that means marriage I will do it for you because I love you! I love you!"I needed him to understand this in my crying rant.

"I love you too! But Rory you can't do this to please me! I want someone who wants to marry me as much I want to marry them." He said with finality in his voice.

He didn't say 'I want you to want to marry me as much as I want to marry you' no he said 'someone'; like he has made the decision up that he doesn't want to marry me. I had to get out of here.

"Fine …uh I guess I will just leave then" I sad through my tears. I could see the struggle in his eyes. he wanted to comfort me, but he knew he shouldn't. If I was thinking rationally I really should be taking ny of this stuff personally because he was still upset about the proposal. So he was taking it out on me.

"You don't have to leave" he said as if it was the only form of comfort he could give me.

"Logan, I don't think I can spend another week with you" I said not meaning it to be mean but because of him turning me down and he understood that.

"I don't want you to go, but I kind of feel like telling you that this is how I have felt sense you came back" and that's when I got it. This is how he has felt for over a month. I couldn't imagine! I mean this was bad enough for the past ten minutes. Yes, I felt horrible all the time too but this felling I felt now was completely different. I felt so vulnerable and then I was stomped on. I felt like I just gave him my heart and he took it and sawed it into a million pieces but didn't even give me one single one back. Because even after all thins he still held my heart and as hard as it was for him to have it I didn't want him to give it back. I did want to be whit other guys. But most of all I felt as if I wasn't good enough for him. And I knew this is what he has been feeling for a very long time now.

I needed to reassure him. He had to know this stuff I was feeling wasn't true!

"Are we just going to stare at each other all night?" he asked trying to lighten the mood. It was then I had realized that I had zoned out that whole time. And I had zoned out staring at him.

"You were enough for me, I promise it wasn't you I it really was me! I promise, I know it is really stupid to say that but It really was me not you!" I ranted but I don't think he was understanding what I was saying or why I was saying it.

I couldn't let him think all those awful things. So I did the only thing I could think of. I walked right over to him putt my arms around his neck and before he could protest I kissed him.

At first he didn't respond and he only stiffened so I pulled back. But I just smiled at the confused look on his face and leaned in to kiss him again this time he returned the kiss with so much force I thought I was going to fall over. But he caught me like he always did. Oh I have missed him. His arms quickly found my waist and tightened. He pulled up a little and I knew he was silently telling me to jump up, which I did. I wrapped my legs around his waist.

I felt my back hit the stone cold wall of the old house. I felt like I was burning up, but not for long as I felt my shirt being pulled off me. And thrown over the balcony railing. I made a small moan of protest, but he ignored me. He just continued to kiss don my neck. I started to unbutton his shirt as I felt his hands go up my very short, cotton, pajama shorts. I felt my pants begin slide down my legs and I had to unwrap my legs from him briefly as he slide my shorts and thong off. But at this point I wanted to be in a room, and in a bed. I think he got that idea as well as I felt my back leave the stone cold wall.

I couldn't get enough of him. We had been glued together for a total of five minutes and he was turning us around back into his room. Shutting the door behind us.

I started to turn over in my still mostly unconsciousness. But I felt something on my waist. It was an arm, but it wasn't my arm. It was Logan's. I quickly moved out of the way. I felt him shuffle in his sleep and slowly open his eyes. The look on his face was about as shocked as mine was.

What did I do?

AN:

So what did you think?