Again, I'm amazed at how much attention this fic has gotten. I mean, it really is fun writing this story, what with the amount of dialogue and just with how the characters are written. I think of it as a semi-challenge because I'm trying to put such full, exuberant characters into their shy, introvert teenage selves and it's all just really fun. Plus I'm glad to see you guys like it, what I'm doing here. It's really a confidence boost.
Thank you all,
T.
"Maybe we should actually send letters during class," I whispered into the receiver. It was dark in the expansive house and I was alone, save for Bass. All in all, it was just a normal Wednesday night.
"We do, Maur," Jane responded, just as quiet, with a slight chuckle to her voice. I loved her voice… it always sounded like she was smiling or laughing. At what, I still don't know.
"I really doubt mindless doodles constitutes as letters, Jane." I fiddled with the patterns on Bass' shell as he munched on spinach leaves and kale. The inconsistent clicking of his mouth on the linoleum floor of the kitchen was the only other sound in the house.
"They're not mindless," she refuted avidly. "I put a lot of effort into those for you." She sounded so modest and vulnerable that I had to take back my words.
I sighed. "You're right. They're actually kind of adorable." Jane chuckled and Bass groaned deep in his throat.
"What the hell was that?" Jane exclaimed into my ear. I pulled the phone away from my ear and could still hear her clearly as she said, "I could hear that over the cell!"
"I must have a good receiver," I offered, bringing the cell closer to my ear.
"A damn good one," she concurred, quieter this time. A moment or two passed before she spoke again. "So really, what was that noise?"
"Oh, it was just Bass." I leaned over and rubbed his shell until his head poked out of its cavern and turned to me. "Hey little guy," I mumbled under my breath as I rubbed the top of his head and wrinkly neck. "How's my baby boy?" He groaned out again before continuing to eat.
"He's a very vocal 'baby boy'," Jane muttered, mainly to uphold conversation.
"That's how he tells me he loves me, Jane," I explained, perhaps with a little sass in my tone.
"It'd be cooler if he actually said the words. Lemme see if I can," she cleared her throat and took on a posh tone, "imitate his low, gravelly tone."
Please don't, your voice already makes me swoon. I blushed at the thought and picked at my fingernails as Jane's voice came rumbling out of the speaker.
"I love you, Maura." Her voice was much lower than I've ever heard before, even just after she woke up.
My body shuddered before I burst out laughing, sending Bass back into his shell. "Oh my—"howling laughs escaped my throat, blocking my sentence. "I can't believe you just—"
Jane was laughing along with me, just as loud as far as I could tell, through the phone.
It took about 15 minutes for us to sober up and continue talking.
Suddenly, a rather important thought came to mind.
"Were you really serious about coming over during the summer?" I asked, my tone completely serious.
"Well… I mean… if it's," she sighed and I heard a soft smacking sound. "I dunno. Would it be too weird?" A half moment passed before she blurted out, "I'm not a middle aged man, I promise."
A sharp laugh shot out of my mouth. "Oh, so you're a middle aged woman?" I joked.
"No! I promise!" she exclaimed and I went into another fit of laughter, albeit this one a lot less raucous. "Jeez, Maura," she groaned before continuing. "I mean, if it would be too awkward, no. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Well, there's not much to do here," I muttered, still hesitant about the situation. It wasn't that I didn't trust her, because I did, it was just… perhaps she was right. What if she bought a plane ticket to come down here and it turns out that our relationship is better off long distance? What if all we did was sit in a room awkwardly and watch television? There were so many 'What if's' about it all that terrified me. I didn't want Jane to think I was boring in real life.
"You could never be boring, Maur Maur," Jane whispered into the phone. I hadn't meant to say that aloud. "You're probably the most interesting person I know." A moment passed. "No, you're definitely the most interesting person I know. That's mainly because you're not a blue-collar Italian."
"Aren't you a 'blue-collar Italian'?" I asked as I handfed Bass a strawberry for desert.
"Yes, but I'm interesting," she explained.
"Or so you hope," I teased, scratching Bass' scaly head.
"Oh, I know I'm interesting." Her voice took on a pompous tone and I smiled at her antics.
"I suppose you're okay," I whispered, the smile still large on my face.
"Oh please, I'm the highlight of your day."
I didn't reply, mainly because it was one hundred percent true.
-0-
"Okay, say you do buy a plane ticket to Virginia," I muttered as I stared out the window at the passing scenery. Trees, brush and the occasional property-lining fence whizzed by the tinted windows of the black Audi. Katherine, my personal driver, was nice enough not to make her eavesdropping too apparent.
"You do but a plane ticket to Virginia," Jane repeated, trying to make this morning a lot more humorous than it was. Staying up late—yet again—was definitely going to take a toll on my health one day, but having it all go to Jane was absolutely worth it. She really was the highlight of my day, just like she had said.
I chuckled slightly before taking the phone from my ear and leaning into the space between the two front seats. "Katherine, do you think we have time to stop for coffee?" Katherine smiled—she was a rather quiet person by nature, only adding her two cents when absolutely necessary—before taking a right, instead of the left that would lead to the school campus, and navigating to town. I smiled in silent thanks and returned my attention to my phone call.
"Two things caught my attention: Katherine and coffee." Something akin to jealousy tainted her tone, causing my eyebrows to furrow. My fingers fumbled with the upholstery on the inside of the door as she continued. "Who's Katherine?"
Feeling mischievous, I immediately began to tease her. "Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" She huffed and I imagined her hands on her hips as she retorted.
"I am not jealous. I'm just curious is all." Her voice got quieter as her sentence dragged on and I felt kind of bad for teasing her.
"She's my driver." I felt awkward for saying it, knowing that Jane came from a different demographic than myself or my family. How many teenage girls had a personal chauffeur? Actually, only a few other girls others, excluding myself, had a chauffeur, and they were usually shared by the girls' parents.
"Like, a chauffeur? Like… Driving Miss Daisy and all that jazz?" Her voice wasn't demeaning or picking fun, but was honestly curious.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Maura," Katherine called my attention from the front seat as she looked at me through the rear-view mirror. "We're here. Would you like your regular?"
"Yes please, Katherine, thank you," I took out my wallet from my purse and handed her the money for the drink. She waved it off and I smiled. Katherine was the older sister I never had and always secretly wanted.
"Oh, so you're taking Spanish, right?"
"No, French," I put the wallet back in my purse and crossed my legs as Katherine ordered our coffees. "And Latin," I added after a moment.
"Oh," she whispered, sounding slightly disappointed. "I was gonna ask for your help but—"
"What is it? Susie takes Spanish and it's possible I could've picked up on something." The feeling through the phone changed immediately. I always found it weird that I could feel Jane's… aura through the phone, especially since we had never met. After a while, though, I guess I just got used to it.
"Ser and Estar. I'm having trouble with them." Jane was always inexplicably vague.
"What kind of trouble?" I mouthed Katherine yet another 'Thank you' as she handed me my iced caramel macchiato.
"Like, what's the difference?"
"Um," I set my hand to my forehead and rubbed gently, trying my hardest to conjure up something knowledgeable of the Spanish language. "Let's see… the infinitive verbs 'Ser' and 'Estar' are both... to be, I believe."
"Yeah," Jane offered, sounding preoccupied.
"'Ser' is, I think—don't hold me to any of this—for the date, characteristics, time, origin of something, relation of someone to someone else and… Man, what is it? I'm missing something…"
"Occupation, Maura," Katherine suggested.
I snapped my fingers in recognition and thanked her. "That's it, occupation. 'Estar' is used for temporary things; condition, location of something, what someone's doing and how someone's feeling."
"Thank God for your brain, Maur Maur," Jane whispered before a rustling of papers was heard.
A few moments of silence passed as I processed what had just occurred. "Did you just use me for your homework, Jane?" I asked, cocking my head, pursing my lips and tapping my fingers as if she were right next to me.
A second of silence before Jane mutters something.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"
"Kind of, I guess…" she whispered and I heard a honking in the background. "Hey, look Maura, mom's ready to go so I gotta go. Okay? Okay, love you, bye." She disconnected so fast I couldn't possibly argue. I sipped on my beverage as I slowly processed Jane's last words.
A solid minute of sipping and gazing lazily out of the window passed before her words dug their way through the early morning haze of my brain.
I almost spit the coffee out of my and onto the leather upholstery of Katherine's car.
"Oh, my—Maura, are you okay?" Katherine asked worriedly as I swallowed the coffee and sputtered about.
"Um, yeah, I think so." I thought of an excuse. A lie would not help this situation. "I just, uh, swallowed wrong, that's all."
She gave me worried looks until I got out of the car at the school campus.
-0-
Holy shit, that did not just happen. I did not just tell Maura I loved her. That was not reality. That was a fantasy, a mere conjuring of my hormonal, teenage brain. After that, according to the fantasy, one of us would immediately buy a plane ticket to the other's home state and had hot, desperate sex until we couldn't breathe or stand. After we regained our breath and strength, we would go at it again. Then we would run away like two star-crossed lovers and live our lives as Janet and Maurice.
…Or not. That's totally cool too.
I leaned back in the front passenger seat as Tommy and Frankie slid into the back two seats of Ma's sedan.
"Was that the infamous Maura you were talking to, Janie?" Ma asked, backing out of the driveway and speeding towards my school. Mine was closer, so I got dropped of sooner, which also meant less morning conversation.
"Yeah," I responded, not really wanting to divulge anything more.
"I heard her say she loves her before hanging up!" Tommy, ever the dense blabbermouth, squealed. Frankie turned and punched him solidly on the upper arm as I swiveled around in my seat to glower at him. I didn't bother with looking at my Ma; she and I had a long conversation a long time ago about my sexuality and although I knew she didn't particularly like it when I came home with a potential girlfriend, she didn't kick me out and she didn't murder anybody (yet) so we kind of reached a stable block in our relationship about it. The block didn't bend back and forth, threatening to tip us both over and cause a ruckus, but gave us an unwavering space to prance around in.
"Jane, you shouldn't rush into things head first." I swung back around and faced the front. "You haven't met her yet."
"I know, Ma, it was on accident." It was true. I really hadn't meant to say it to her, not ever, it just kind of slipped out and spilled onto the ears of the angel on the other end of the line. Not my fault, I think. "I meant to say it to Jo." Okay, that was more of a lie, but it was excusable.
"Just remember, not everyone is like you." The whisper was innocent enough, but it still struck a very tight, very high-pitched chord inside my heart. It reassured me that I was still an outsider, still different, still not normal, no matter how much I tried.
The rest of the car ride was silent until I opened the door and snatched my backpack off of the floorboard before slamming the car door closed and dashing into the school, not responding to my Ma's attempts at goodbye.
Maybe our block wasn't so stable after all…
-0-
"Hey, Jane, what's up?" Riley Cooper, my closest friend in the school sidled up to me, falling perfectly into step beside me.
"Oh, nothing much," I began with a mocking tone to my voice. "Just accidentally told my damn pen pal I loved her before hanging up, only to have it pointed out in the car by my shit of a little brother." Riley scowled before breaking out into a grin.
"You told her you loved her?" Giggles escaped her mouth before I could correct her. "Damn, Jane, I knew you were trigger-happy, but don't you think that's goin' a little too far too fast?"
"It was on accident, you ass," I grouched, pushing her in the shoulder. We headed towards the locker room, where we'd drop off our sports bags and probably stay until the bell rung.
"Accident or not, you still said it." The smile didn't fall from her face until a few moments later, halfway to the locker room. "What did your mom say about it?"
Riley knew about my situation at home, with the whole sexuality business. She was the only other person I had entrusted other than my family.
I smiled self-depreciatingly and watch my feet as we slowly walked. "She said I should keep in mind that not everyone is like me." I raised my gaze and tightened my jaw, ready for Riley's reaction.
A few moments passed before she said anything. "You wanna crash at mine tonight?"
I would've said yes had it not been for a nagging voice in my head telling me that is wasn't Riley I wanted to vent to.
-0-
The school day passed by slowly without my usual texts from Maura. That's wrong. It passed by slowly without my usual responses. She had texted me multiple times throughout the day, but I hadn't replied to any of them. I was too afraid I'd say something stupid again.
Stupid like 'I love you'.
It was a constant thought in my head, whether at the forefront of it or the back, through the whole damn day. I mean, who the hell tells their pen pal turned friend—I guess that's what we are—that they love them? Yes, if it was their best friend, I could understand, but we barely know each other. No, that's not right… we just haven't met each other. We know a lot about each other—enough to know that I really, really wanted to go to her house this summer. And before you just assume that I had romantic ulterior motives, I didn't. I really just wanted to keep her company while her mom was gone. She seemed like a pretty lonely girl. You know, except for Bass the Turtle/Tortoise, but something tells me that he isn't much of a conversationalist.
I tugged my phone out of my pocket and opened the multitude of texts from Maura as I made my way to the girls' locker room. I smiled softly at her contact picture, the only one she's ever sent me, and touched it with my thumb. She really was exquisite and she really did take my breath away, but hell if I was ever going to tell her that. Most of my friends had stopped all contact after I told them about me being… um, yeah. Riley was the one that was really cool with it. She invited me over, sat with me at lunch, all that friendly stuff. Truth be told, I was pretty sure she was… on my team, but I definitely didn't have a knack for knowing those things about people. Other than her, though, I didn't have many friends. In fact, she was my only friend besides Maura, and Maura would probably ditch me too if I told her. I was surprised she was talking to me now after what I had said.
Finally gathering the gall, I pressed the little phone symbol next to Maura's name and photo. I pressed the phone to my ear and waited for her to pick up.
One dial tone.
Two dial tones.
Three dial tones.
Four.
Five dial tones and I was losing hope fast. Pick up, please, Maur Maur, please pick up.
"Hello?" Her smooth voice broke through the speaker and I let out a breath of relief.
"Maur Maur," I whispered with a smile on my lips. If she hadn't wanted to speak to me, she wouldn't have picked up. She must not hate me. "I'm sorry I didn't answer your texts today. I—"
"You worried me," she interrupted, her voice slightly stern, but more offended than anything. "I thought I said something wrong this morning and you didn't want to talk to me anymore."
"What?" I exclaimed. How could anything wrong come out of Maura 'Perfect Angel from God's Own Hand' Isles' mouth? "That's insane." I wasn't focusing on where I was going and almost ran right into Stephanie, the volleyball team's captain.
"Watch it, Gayzzoli!" she barked out, just quiet enough so it wouldn't be investigated by any passing teachers.
"Buff my shit, you dick lick." To my defense, Stephanie wasn't the nicest person.
Stephanie flipped me off before walking away, probably to sneak in a quickie before practice started.
"Pardon, but what was that?" Maura asked, still sounding offended.
"Nothing, Maur," I mumbled as I retraced our conversational steps. "Maura, I thought I was the one who said something wrong this morning."
A laugh came from her end. "Jane, there's nothing wrong with love."
