Author's Note: I should have mentioned at the start of chapter 2 that some dialog had been pinched from the game, but I'm sure it's familiar enough one need not worry. Another nod to Bioware; I have played with some of their dialog here. Enjoy!
Exposed
It took only one more day before anyone approached the topic of the budding romance between Kallian and Zevran. The lovers had spent the night together again and Kallian's mood was far more cheerful than usual. Even when they were set upon by a group of bandits who refused her mercy, and later that same morning by a pack of darkspawn, she was quite upbeat, fighting with a certain…cockiness.
"May I speak with you, Kallian?" Wynne asked when they stopped to eat and rest at midday. Redcliffe was visible on the horizon, another day's travel away.
"Of course."
Wynne motioned her away from the group.
"You look serious. Is everything okay?" Wynne was not exactly alive, after all, and Kallian feared the spirit sustaining her might slip back into the Fade at any moment, leaving Wynne to fall dead.
"You're quite taken with each other, aren't you?"
"Ah, what? Oh, you know about Zevran and me." Well, this is awkward.
"I wish I didn't. Most of us cannot sleep half the night for all the racket you two make." She smiled as Kallian cringed.
"Maker's breath, I am so sorry." And may the Maker take me right now.
This would explain why Alistair was even quieter than usual. He had not spoken a word to anyone for a while. She would have to speak with him, and hope she didn't die of embarrassment or ruin their friendship entirely. Had she acted too impulsively? Wynne's voice brought her out of her reverie.
"Are you in love with him?"
"Wynne, I...what? I do not know. I care about him, yes, but...well, he's fun to be with and we enjoy each other's company." She couldn't think of anything else to say and the words rushed out of her.
"His only concern is pleasure, he takes nothing seriously..."
"Wynne, Zev is a bit more complicated than that." Kallian's gaze drifted toward the rest of her team. Zevran was chatting with Leliana. He spotted her and smiled, winking.
"Love is, by its very nature, a selfish thing. It requires that you devote yourself entirely to one person. As a Grey Warden, you cannot afford to be selfish. You have a responsibility to all the people of Ferelden."
"I can handle my relationships and responsibilities, Wynne." Maker help me, I wish she would stop this. She wasn't sure she sounded convinced. What if Wynne was right and her relationship with Zevran could cloud her judgement?
"And if you have to choose between the two? And what about the others? Do you not think your actions affect them as well?"
Kallian turned to face the mage. "I know they do, Wynne, but you make things sound more dire than they are. I know what I'm doing." She truly hoped she did.
Wynne knew by the look on Kallian's face that the conversation was over, and nodded, standing up. "I have given you my opinion."
"Thank you. I appreciate it, Wynne, I do. I'll be a moment...I see some elfroot and we could use more..." It was a weak excuse, but she needed to pull her thoughts together.
She watched Wynne return to the group and began plucking leaves from the plant she had spotted nearby, trying to sort out what she should do next. Maybe nothing, but that was too easy. She would have to speak to Alistair today. A footstep behind her made her jump and she turned to find Leliana standing beside her.
"Andraste's breath. Leliana, you startled me."
The Orlesian Bard smiled, giggling as she did. "So. You and Zevran." It was a statement, not a question.
"Um...Yes. Yes, that is correct."
"I am surprised, considering he tried to kill you, but he is handsome, personable, quick witted, and I can see you have been lonely. When we were with the Dalish, it was clear you had longed for the company of other elves. You must miss your family and friends a great deal. If you trust Zevran that is all that is important." She was far brighter than she seemed, this pretty bard.
Kallian nodded, grateful to know someone understood. "Thank you, Leliana. I do not know where or how to start with Alistair, but I know I must speak with him. What should I do?"
"Just find him and say what comes to you. You cannot help what your heart wants, just as he cannot help what his wants. Even if you were of a mind to be with him, if he is to be king, that would be the end of it. Surely he knows this. I doubt he would want to cause you pain."
"My thoughts exactly, but I dread this. Ugh. Do you know where he is?"
Leliana shook her head. "He cannot be far. I can take those for you," she said, pointing to Kallian's collection of elfroot leaves.
Kallian found Alistair sitting on a log a short distance into the woods near the clearing where they rested. He had been polishing his father's sword and was now twisting and untwisting the cloth, staring deeper into the woods.
Wasting no time, she addressed him formally as befitted who he was, bastard or no. "My lord, I would speak with you, please."
He didn't move or look at her. "Now is not a good time and would you please stop calling me that."
"If not now, when, Alistair? We cannot continue this way; it has become awkward for everyone else."
"How could you? How could you toy with my affections and then take up with that...that assassin?" His tone was bitter and filled with anger.
Tears swelled in Kallian's eyes. "Have you no care for me, or is your desire paramount in your mind?" She demanded. "How dare you not consider what would happen to me if we were lovers and you became king."
"I will not be king," he hissed.
"You heard Eamon and Teagan. If we cannot put you on the throne, Loghain wins. We do not know where Anora's allegiance lies. She could very well call for our execution!" She moved to stand in front of him.
"What you desire would eventually break my heart, Alistair. You must know this. You could not possibly marry an elf if you were king, and I will not be someone's mistress. Besides, if I am to marry, I wish to marry an elf; if there is a chance I can have children, I want them to be elven. Zevran and I may not last long, but you and I can never be."
Kallian fell to her knees. "I am sorry, Alistair, that I have done this to you. I never intended to do you harm. You mean a great deal to me and I deeply regret that I have hurt you."
He was quiet for several minutes and she thought she might die waiting for him to say something, but she stayed silent. Alistair's eyes were brimming with tears when he finally lifted his head to look at her.
"I saw you together," he finally whispered, his voice breaking with emotion. "Yesterday morning, at the river."
Kallian buried her face in her hands, thoroughly ashamed. If she had known he was there, or heard him...but it was too late, the damage was done and her heart was breaking for him. If their places were reversed, she knew she would have been devastated.
"I do not know what to say," she cried. Alistair's reply, however, surprised her.
"I've never seen anything so beautiful and…perfect as the two of you were together at that moment. You practically glowed." Tears were flowing down his face now, prone as he was to emotion. "I know what you say is true and I hate how I have behaved. I am jealous, I do love you, but I cannot deny you happiness. It is I who owes you the apology...Sister. I am sorry."
Grey Wardens often called each other Brother and Sister. This was the first time he had ever referred to her as such, and while it pained her to see him so upset, she knew now he would be able to move past this and they would be okay eventually.
"I know there is nothing to do but accept it. Please just be patient with me. And don't expect me to like that…jackass…any time soon."
A sobbing laugh escaped Kallian's lips and she took his hands in hers. "Aye. For you, Brother, I shall have all the patience in the world."
Zevran had been watching from a distance, from the moment she had approached Alistair. She fell to her knees and tension knotted in Zevran's chest; she cried and the tension was replaced with a yearning to hold her; she took Alistair's hands and the tension returned and Zevran's mood darkened. He shook his head. This was madness. When he looked up to see her striding toward him, a smile on her face, he felt lighter. I am going mad, truly.
Kallian surprised him by embracing him, pressing her body into his. "I had to confront him," she explained, looking up into Zevran's amber eyes as she pushed away. "He needs time, but I think he will be fine. And we," she poked him in the ribs, her cheeks turning pink "apparently make a lot of noise."
He couldn't help but smirk. "Perhaps I should gag you?"
"It was all me, is it? I seem to recall differently, Zev, now that I think back on it. But now that you have mentioned gagging me in that context, do you have an extra strip of cloth?" Kallian asked with a twinkle in her eye.
Laughing, she began to run, shouting back to him. "Let's get back on the road to Redcliffe. I have an appointment with a dwarf!"
