Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Summary:
Orochimaru walks the path towards his own demise, pulling everything around him along. This path only has one ending, but along the way, unfamiliar emotions arise and Orochimaru, Kabuto and Sasuke discover more than they had hoped for. This is my story of the three of them, as the Pupil takes over the Serpent. No pairings.
I did not know who I had to choose in the character category. It evolves around all three, the focus changes along the story.
I am a health worker myself, I try to focus on Kabuto's perception throughout my own experiences, feelings, etc. I try to be as accurate as possible, but still understandable for general population, when involving pathology.

For some reason, I seem to fail at editing my documents in the Document Manager section. It never turns out well, which annoys me to no end, so my apologies for wrongly underlined/bold/italic text.

Feedback is highly appreciated! I constantly try to improve my writing skills.
Quite some people added this story to their Story Alert list, don't be shy to leave a review!

Immortal Beloved

Thanatophobia

"Frightful tendencies of the mind
Are the sole possession of this vile mortal state.
The sacrificial gift was the pain.
And yet still more pain regurgitated from the dark pits
That hold the province of the mind.
My fate has been tried in the tainted tribunal.
And I have been sentenced to death.
And so I fade into the darkness.
Never knowing who I am or who I shall be.
Merely existing.
From one death to another.
"
- Rusty

Things had not changed for the better since the last couple of days. Kabuto was now positively worried about his master.

Being a medic, he was familiar with the systemic approach of illness. Diagnosis, cause, symptoms, possible complications, treatment, evaluation and if not successful, adjustment of treating factors. But when dealing with Orochimaru things were different and nothing ever fit in the 'perfect' system. Diagnosis: 'general deterioration of the body', cause: 'Fushi Tensei'. Kabuto scoffed at the mere thought. There was no information on this in books or scrolls, partially because Orochimaru was very secretive about his jutsu. Kabuto could downright despise himself for lacking information and for thus being incompetent. Useless.

What he did know was that the deterioration caused by Fushi Tensei could not be compared to deterioration of the body due to old age. The symptoms did not fit. It seemed like after a period of three years the body would finally 'realize' it being actually dead and thus shutting down progressively. Kabuto believed that the strength of the inhabiting soul – Orochimaru – could prolong this process for a short while by sheer will.

It was possible to heal complications, to ease pain and gain comfort, but in the end there was no medic in the world who could stop the process. Kabuto found this extremely unpleasant, since he took great satisfaction in successfully performing complicated medical techniques, regular or jutsu related, especially when it involved healing his master.

Yeah, one thing about Orochimaru was that he was able to activate a person's pleasing factor. Not intentionally, but since he was so difficult to satisfy, Kabuto had seen many people going to the extreme to get his approval. Kimimaro had been the most persistent person in this. He himself was no different though. It was always a fulfilling feeling when Orochimaru would for once agree with something one said or did, when he wouldn't threaten to kill or maim the person.

Although Kabuto saw it as his important duty to function as his master's common sense from time to time. Power has the ability to blind a person. And he was the only one who could speak against his master without being punished severely. He didn't know why.

Since there was no way the young medic could heal his master, Kabuto had often expected one of his legendary outbursts. Orochimaru didn't like failed attempts at anything, he demanded perfection from himself and he expected the same from his subordinates. Orochimaru had never accused Kabuto of being incompetent though. Being weak or sick could make his master throw a fit, yes, but Kabuto had never gotten a punch in the face for not being able to heal his master. Other medics had.

Kabuto was currently in his lab, carefully mixing powders to make higher dosages of medication and worrying.

Two days ago he had randomly walked into Orochimaru's room, not expecting anything out of the ordinary. When he'd seen his master sitting in his chair though, face down and clutching his stomach as if in great pain, he'd instantly dropped everything to rush over to his side. Orochimaru had been in pain indeed, and he'd allowed Kabuto to perform a quick chakra examination. His medic had smoothly probed the tissue and had come to a conclusion that he had already been expecting. Some of the cells were dying.

Now, he knew as any other that a person never remained in the same body from birth till death, because every cell would die some time, and it would be replaced with new ones. When involving Fushi Tensei, there were no new cells to replace the deceased ones. Depending on where the cell destruction would advance, there were a whole lot of symptoms that could follow. Bleeding, organ failure, brain damage, sudden death. The list was endless, and disturbing.

Kabuto had insisted on Orochimaru taking Sasuke's body in the near future, but his master had told him that the right time had not yet come, that he couldn't switch bodies just yet. Then, he had abruptly shoved Kabuto out of the way and had gone to the bathroom to throw up. Wisely, Kabuto had decided not to go after him since his imagination had already come up with some plausible consequences. Orochimaru hadn't returned, but had gone to lie down on his bed. Quietly, he had requested Kabuto to leave him.

It was disturbing, being his master's medic, that Kabuto was often sent away at times when he was most needed. Well, when it was fitting for him to be there, being a medical ninja. But Orochimaru had always been like this. He didn't like being around people when weak or wounded. He'd be like a hurt animal, threatened and more dangerous than ever. Kabuto understood this, in a way, he wouldn't like to be surrounded by strangers either at his weakest point. But it was him… The thought of being unwelcome overwhelmed him with a tiny spurt of sadness.

Just minutes ago, he had left Orochimaru's room. He'd been fine, but very tired.


Sasuke knew something was up. Being naturally observant and prone to sensing oddities he felt that Kabuto was tense about something. He had heard the young ninja rush through the corridors multiple times each day and when he would accidently meet him in the kitchen or in the halls, he wouldn't have time for a word. And knowing Kabuto, he wouldn't get worked up about things except when it were about something that he cared for.

It was irritating, since Sasuke wanted to continue gathering vital information about how to get rid of his superior. And now, of all times in three years, there seemed to be no time for him. What had happened to being Orochimaru's most favored vessel? He used to be the center of all attention. Not that he particularly enjoyed Orochimaru's attention, but he had to admit that it made him feel special. Powerful.

"Kabuto."

Next to being able to see through people quite easily, the Uchiha was also naturally bold. He wished to speak to Kabuto, and had seen no other option than go to his lab in the hopes to find him there. Which he did.

"Hm?" Kabuto didn't look up and continued doing whatever he was doing.

"Has something happened?"

Sasuke leaned against the door opening. The laboratory was rather small compared to the ones in other hideouts. But the smell was always the same. Metal and disinfectant.
There were a series of small cabinets, containing all sorts of drugs and potions. Sasuke wasn't sure if he wanted to know about their purpose. The different drawers contained other medical equipment, from gauze to bandages and scalpels.

"What do you mean, Sasuke?" Kabuto said with a sigh, fatigue and irritation obvious in his tone.

"You have been running around all day. I have the right to know if something is happening."

"And what makes you think that?"

Sasuke glared angrily at the medic. "Orochimaru and I have a deal. If something has changed I believe I have the right to know. He is going to use my body for the next couple of ye—"

"Well, maybe it's time for you to give your part of the deal. I believe he has the right to demand that from you."

Sasuke had seen Kabuto angry before, but not like this. He seemed generally upset.

"Fine," Sasuke said. Kabuto looked up, surprise evident on his face. "I'll go see him then, if he needs to demand things from me."

And with that, Sasuke turned on his heel and walked back to the hallway.

Kabuto sighed deeply. Goddamnit.

"Sasuke," he said loudly. When he didn't hear the young boy coming back, he dropped his things and went after him.

"Sasuke! Where do you think you're going?" he shouted, catching up with the Uchiha.

Sasuke scoffed. "I already told you. I'm going to see Orochimaru."

"I'll have to ask him."

"I can do that myself. If he's so busy with things and has no time, I'll come back later."

"Fine," Kabuto mumbled. He was clearly pissed.

For a moment he wasn't sure if he made the right decision to take the whiny Uchiha along. To Orochimaru's bedroom for crying out loud. But one could never be sure with his master. It was possible that he'd have an outburst at Sasuke for storming into his room, but it was equally possible that he would be positively surprised by the boy's boldness. And Kabuto didn't want to end up looking like a fool because he had tried to stop the kid in the first place.

The medic found it funny to see how Sasuke seemed like he would burst into Orochimaru's room, but slowed down when he arrived at the door. He knocked and Kabuto heard his master's voice permitting to come in. That was a good sign, at least, since in most cases Orochimaru knew who was at the door before having seen them. He had such astonishing sensory capabilities.

"Orochimaru," Sasuke said calmly when he entered.

"Sasuke-kun," a hoarse voice came from behind the open bedroom door.

Kabuto closely followed the Uchiha, already sorry for letting him go here. This was no place where everyone could choose to venture in. Kabuto could of course, and he took pride in being the only one to be able to come there with no particular reason. He felt slightly offended. Odd.

Sasuke stood at the end of the bed. And he had to secretly admit, that he didn't know what to do or say for a moment. Orochimaru was lying in bed under a single white sheet, reading a book. He wore a vibrant purple yukata with black lining. It was beautiful on his pale complexion. He was obviously feeling rather well since he was glaring satisfied at Sasuke.

The Uchiha was perplexed. He had only ever seen Orochimaru as his powerful self, ordering others around and while fighting during training sessions.

"Sasuke-kun. What are you doing here?" he asked.

Sasuke didn't move an inch. He looked his superior directly in the eyes. "I want to know what is going on here."

Orochimaru cast a glance at Kabuto and raised a fine eyebrow. "I am not sure. Kabuto," he stated, beckoning the medic to come closer. "Is something going on?"

Kabuto was feeling very pleased. "I'm not sure either."

Orochimaru's glance moved back to Sasuke.

"Why have you not trained me anymore?" Sasuke asked. He was obviously pissed off. He hated how Kabuto acted like he didn't know what he was talking about. Stupid rat.

"You don't need me to train. You're perfectly fine by yourself, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke had given up on being annoyed every time he heard that suffix. If he would have let it get to him each time Orochimaru spoke to him, God, he would've died of spontaneous combustion long ago.

"I am tired," Orochimaru continued. "I don't think I'll be training you anymore."

And with that, he made a waving gesture towards the door, and continued reading. He did not seem angry though. It was just Orochimaru who had made up his mind and expected his subordinates to obey without questions.

Both ninja's moved to go outside.

"Kabuto. Stay here," Orochimaru said, his eyes not leaving the pages of his book.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto obeyed, making a small bow.

Sasuke gazed angrily before him and made sure to slam the door shut with more noise than necessary.

"Sasuke seems very unaware of things. Perhaps you should... 'enlighten' him and remind him that the three years are almost over. I don't feel good."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."


Sasuke was downright furious. With big steps, he went to his room and slammed his own door shut as well.

Don't think you can defy me. I am more powerful than you.

But at the same time, things had become clear for him. It seemed like Orochimaru's body was beginning to fail him. Perfect. Sasuke didn't know much about the deterioration, and neither did he know what to expect, but perhaps it was wise to just wait. If he were fortunate, Orochimaru might become weak enough.

He would strike when the time was right.

Like a snake, hunting its prey.

And knowing where Orochimaru would be – in his bedroom – in the near future was quite welcome information.


All was quiet. Kabuto sat outside on a log. It had been a while since he'd been able to inhale the fresh air of the forest. It was refreshing.

The air was soft, not too warm, not too cold, and smelled of earth. The sun had almost fully set, leaving the sky with a soft moonlit color.

He just sat there, doing nothing in particular, just gazing around and enjoying the scent of the outside world. He had to admit that the underground lair could be quite depressing, especially since Orochimaru didn't go out anymore. He always used to go along on his master's missions, which had shown him a lot of places in the world. It had always been nice to travel.

Kabuto had tried to have a chat with Sasuke this night. Finally, Orochimaru had admitted that maybe the boy needed some persuasion. However, he had not found Sasuke anywhere in the hideout.

The sound of sandals on dry leaves caught his attention instantly. With one swift move he switched his position on the log to be faced towards the intruder, hand on his pouch to grab a kunai. He received a dark chuckle and a smile.

"Orochimaru-sama..." he said, surprised to see his master here.

The purple yukata was beautiful in the dim light. His master's skin seemed to lighten up under the moon.

"Relax, Kabuto," the snake sannin said calmly, smirk still on his face. He approached Kabuto and much to the medic's surprise he sat down on the log too.

"It is peaceful here."

"Yes, it is nice to be outside. However, I didn't expect you to come here. It is dangerous to venture outside alone. Akatsuki are still after you."

Orochimaru looked at his right hand man. "I am not alone, am I?" Kabuto felt a tinge of pride. He smirked. "And besides, Akatsuki are after the Jinchuuriki. That is their priority. I do not expect them to find me."

For a moment, they were both silent.

"Have you spoken to Sasuke-kun?"

"I couldn't find him. He's not in the lair."

Orochimaru didn't look surprised. "Find him tomorrow."

"I will, Orochimaru-sama. My apologies..." Kabuto said quietly.

Orochimaru was taken over by a coughing fit. His medic instantly threw him a worried look.

"Orochimaru-sama, are you alright?"

When he had regained his breath, he smiled at Kabuto, a smile that only Orochimaru could smile.

"I am fine, Kabuto."

"We should go back inside; it's too cold out here for you. You-"

"It's not cold. I told you, I am fine."

You may be fine now, but you don't want to end up getting sick along the process of deterioration. Adding fuel to the fire has never turned out well.

"Are you afraid of dying, Kabuto?"

Kabuto was taken aback for a moment. He didn't know what to think or say. Was Orochimaru testing him? It wouldn't have been the first time that his master would spontaneously throw philosophical questions at him, just to see if they were still on the same line.

"I am not sure." The medic looked down and started to poke his foot in the sand.

Of course he was. He was human. It was in his nature to be afraid of death. No matter how brave, no matter how strong, there was no human being that would cherish the moment of breathing his last breath. And even then, if people decided to choose for death, it were their bodies that would fight it until the bitter end. Kabuto had often seen people squirm into their final sunset. Even if the mind were strong enough, there was no body in the world that would accept its fate and undergo it. He knew that, and was not bothered by admitting it to himself.

With Orochimaru, being honest about something like that was slightly different though. Kabuto had learned that it was often best to give vague answers to vague questions. And if someone had mastered being vague as an art, it was definitely his master.

"I am not, Kabuto. This is an unpleasant condition, but that is all. In some time, I will be reborn and my body will be even more powerful than before."

If I can find Sasuke, that is, Kabuto thought. He reminded himself to go look for the Uchiha first thing in the morning.

"This pain is worth all the power I am gaining."

"Are you in pain, Orochimaru-sama?"

Orochimaru gave short sigh and glanced irritated at his medic. "Kabuto, don't interrupt. I am trying to make a point. Figure of speech is obviously not one of your talents."

Kabuto had to suppress a smile. He was in fact very good at understanding figure of speech, and from all the people in the Sound, he was definitely a pro at understanding Orochimaru's figure of speech.

"My apologies."

He was sure Orochimaru would've gone on and on about obtaining his new vessel, if he hadn't started coughing again. More violent this time.

Kabuto firmly stood up and looked at his master.

"Please come back inside with me, Orochimaru-sama." Initially, Kabuto wanted to offer his hand, but quickly decided not to. He probably would've gotten a slap in the face.

When the fit was over, Orochimaru removed his hand from his mouth, only to see blood on it. Kabuto saw the shock in his serpentine eyes. His master frantically reached for his face again, and when he looked at his hands, only more of the warm liquid was on them.

"Don't worry, you're just having a nosebleed," Kabuto said reassuringly, knowing that his master would freak out at the thought of giving up blood, while the three years were officially not over yet.

Orochimaru didn't even have to touch his nose to confirm, the drops that were now falling on his yukata were enough.

Kabuto was glad that his master stood up. They started walking towards the underground complex again, him and Orochimaru, who was holding a hand at his face to stop the blood from dripping. Quite a heavy nosebleed it appeared.

"Try to look down a bit, Orochimaru-sama. Otherwise the blood will get in your mouth."

It was at times like these, when his master was taken aback by the situation, that Kabuto's words would be considered as true, no matter what. Orochimaru kept his head down, dark hair falling over the sides of his face.

They were almost at the entrance.

"Kabuto."

The medic looked at his master instantly.

"My yukata is ruined."