Midgard truly was a spectacular realm. Nowhere near as advanced as Asgard, but there was a certain charm to it that had caught Loki's attention long before the Tesseract came into play. The mortals were running around every which-way, trying to cram in an eternity's worth of living into their meager lifespans, seemingly spurred on by the never-ending 'tik-tik-tik' of their biological clocks.
It was fascinating to watch.
Which was why he was currently ambling throughout the city of Stuttgart, watching as the mortals rushed by, fueled by their need to do something worth remembering before their time was up. Well, that was only part of it. There were a lot of coffee shops in this particular part of town, one of which he frequented more often than the rest.
Starbucks.
The coffee wasn't his favourite, but in truth, that wasn't the reason he visited. It was the people. The customers and staff alike with their wonderful coffee-lingo was the most beautiful language he'd ever heard. And he was content to just sit and listen.
Günter always knew the stranger wasn't there for the coffee. He never ordered anything. He always sat in the corner closest to the counter—quiet, never with anyone, always staring at his book. Which he wasn't even really reading. His eyes were never focused on the page, nor were they moving, and a few times, Günter had even noticed the book was upside-down.
Once or twice, Günter had thought about striking up a conversation with the guy, maybe introducing himself, getting the stranger's name and (if the cards were in his favour) maybe getting the his number. Because in all honesty, he was not bad-looking. Actually, he was pretty hot.
And one fated day, he thought the cards had indeed fallen in his favour. Günter had just finished clearing out the morning rush, and his final customer had been a particularly difficult one. Or, at least, her order had been. The lady herself seemed nice enough, and was probably just picking up drinks for the people at her office.
'One grande quad nonfat one-pump no-whip mocha; one tall half-caff soy latte at 120 degrees; two venti iced skinny hazelnut macchiatos with sugar-free syrup, extra shot, one light ice, one no whip; one venti iced half-caff ristretto, 4-pump, sugar free cinnamon dolce soy skinny latte and one tall nonfat latte with two-percent foam.'
It was right after the lady apologetically placed her order that Günter had noticed Green-Eyes staring in his direction. That was a bit out of the ordinary, since Green-Eyes never looked up from the book he most certainly wasn't reading, and Günter felt his breath catch in his chest. Damn, that guy was gorgeous.
Once all the drinks had been made and the lady had hurried out the door, Günter plucked up his courage and walked over to the table where the gorgeous stranger always sat. "What are you reading?" he asked.
"Hm?" The guy clearly had no idea what he was reading. They both knew it, and Günter wasn't exactly surprised when Green-Eyes changed the topic. "I wonder if she was going to drink all those herself," he said, and Günter almost melted. Even his voice was gorgeous.
"Nah, I think she's just making coffee runs for her boss," he replied. "I get a lot of those."
Green-Eyes smiled slightly. "I don't know what half of the words she said even signified," he said with a small laugh.
"Oh, it's not that hard, really," Günter said enthusiastically. "Mind if I sit here?"
"By all means."
"Well, it's really just about remembering the terminology," he explained. "Upside-down means you put the ingredients in backwards, skinny means low-fat… once you get past those kinds of things, the rest really speaks for itself." He was spurred on by the stranger's undivided attention, plus a hungry look in his eyes that made Günter squirm happily. "You know, no-whip, half-caff, light ice, sugar-free, soy… Oh, but I guess you really just have to experience it. Like wet or dry refers to the amount of milk versus foam, and quad is four shots of espresso."
Green-Eyes' cheeks looked a bit pink. "That's… hot," he said.
Günter couldn't believe his luck. Of all the hot guys he should try his hand with, he had to get the one who was turned on by coffee-talk. Score! Now to seal the deal. "Here, you have to try one!" he said, hopping to his feet.
"One what?" Green-Eyes asked, still in a state of coffee arousal.
"A quad! It'll really perk you up. Normally just one shot does it for me, but everyone seems to think the more espresso the better! Here." He had finished the drink in record time and was certain that if his manager had been there to see that particular feat, a promotion would be right around the corner for him. "Well? Aren't you gonna try it?"
If Günter could travel back in time to any moment in his life, he would have sprinted in the door and slapped the espresso cup out of his past self's hands. But unfortunately, he couldn't, and he could only look on in awe as Green-Eyes drank down the entire cup of espresso in one long gulp.
He should have noticed something was wrong. He should have seen the psychotic gleam in the man's eyes. And he should have seen the muscle in his face twitching ever-so-slightly. But he didn't. And really, there was no way poor Günter could possibly have known what he was about to unleash on the world.
"That's it!" the stranger exclaimed suddenly, jumping to his feet. Günter flinched at the sudden outburst, and stared at the man nervously.
"What's it?" he asked.
"A distraction and an eyeball."
Günter shook his head, not sure he'd heard clearly. "Wait, what?!"
"You have given me just the inspiration I needed!" he gushed. "Here I was, spending precious time planning the perfect distraction that still permits me to avoid capture, when capture could instead be beneficial!"
"Hey, could ya pipe down over there?" a customer shouted angrily.
A knife flew out from seemingly nowhere and lodged itself in the customer's throat. Günter let out a horrified shriek and leapt away from the table. "You killed him!" he exclaimed. "Oh my god, you fucking killed him! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"What do you mean, what's wrong with me?" came the irritated reply. "He was ruining my moment. Now he will be silent."
"Oh god, oh GOD!" Günter ran back towards the counter, and the phone.
Green-Eyes hadn't paid him the slightest bit of attention, and was still talking to himself. Something about Chitauri and iridium and eyeballs, and then there were more knives in more throats.
"What the hell was that for?!" Günter shouted, pointing at the two corpses in the doorway. "They didn't do anything!"
"I don't like that bell you have hanging from the door."
"Then take it down!" Günter snapped. "Stop killing people!"
"Oh, but this is so much fun! I think I've found my distraction now."
Günter didn't want to think about what Green-Eyes meant by that. He didn't want to know. He just wanted the police to hurry the hell up and get this knife-wielding, over-caffeinated maniac out of his goddamn store!
