Elphaba stood facing the fire, but turned her head on her shoulders to look long and unblinkingly at Galinda, who had not yet hopped down from the chair. The Munchkinlander was in her nightgown, a drab sack without benefit of lace edging or piping. The green face above the wheat-grey fabric seemed almost to glow, and the glorious long straight black hair fell right over where breasts should be if she would ever reveal any evidence that she possessed them. Elphaba looked like something between an animal and an Animal, like something more than life but not quite Life. There was an expectancy but no intuition, was that it? -like a child who has never remembered having a dream being told to have sweet dreams. You'd almost call it unrefined, but not in a social sense-more in a sense of nature not having done its full job with Elphaba, not quite having managed to make her enough like herself.

-Maguire, Gregory. Wicked: The Life and times of the Wicked Witch of the West : A Novel. New York, NY: Harper, 2007. page 100. Print.


"I hear she doesn't wash," Shenshen's voice was hushed and she ducked her head to conceal her voice. "Galinda you must tell us, is there any truth to this? After all, you are her roommate you would know!"

"Now really," Galinda said. "This isn't proper subject. How should I know!"

"Surely you must have noticed something." In fact, Galinda had never given it a thought. Whether her green roommate showered on the regular had not occurred to her to be any of her business, nor was she interested in the slightest in finding out.

"I have not," she said after giving pause long enough for them to think that she had given the matter further inquiry. "The autumn is quite beautiful here don't you think?"

"Oh don't go changing the subject!" Pfannee tugged at her sleeve, "Do find out won't you? You are the only one who can!"

"Of everything here at this school, you have me chasing gossip!" She glanced at the other two girls whose faces wore expressions of bated anticipation. "Oh alright! I suppose you'll have me rummaging through her things? Spying on her like some sort of criminal? Really, the idea of this is preposterous! Of course she washes. What student at Shiz has not been brought up to bath regularly!"

"So you'll do it?" Shenshen goaded.

"Yes, yes, I will. Really this is so strange. Surely my nose does not belong in this sort of business." Galinda fluffed her skirts. If one was to rise in society, she supposed, one must get their hands dirty from time to time. "Oughtn't we be getting to class now that this rubbish has been settled?" She rose hastily, Shenshen and Pfannee nodded in agreement and followed suite.

"What an experience this is turning out to be," Galinda thought as they departed toward the lecture hall. "Certainly not what I expected from University. I know it is certainly about who you know and not what, but it seems that I am to be noticed only for with whom I share a room!"


Galinda returned to her room that evening to find Elphaba curled into her usual position on her bed with her nose in a book titled, Great Speeches of the Ozma Regency. She'd had some time during class to figure out just how she was going to inquire about Elphaba's bathing habits without sounding intrusive.

"I've had quite the long day," she said half to herself and half to Elphaba. But receiving no response she continued on, gathering up her shower supplies. "Have you been to the bath this evening? Did you notice a crowd? I hate a crowd." Galinda addressed her directly this time.

"Why are you asking me this?" Elphaba did not move but instead peered with her dark eyes over the book at Galinda.

"Um, n-no reason. I was just making conversation." Galinda turned to leave. Perhaps that had not been the best approach. It was true that she did not often speak to her roommate, and now to bring up such an intimate matter as bathing! How rude! She would have to come up with a different plan.

When Galinda returned she had, indeed, come up with a new plan. Rather drastic in her opinion, but it would get the job done most discreetly. "I am not feeling well this evening," she said, slipping into her night clothes. "I don't mean to be rude, and you needn't stop what you're doing, but would you mind turning your lamp down. Sleep may be my only respite"

Elphaba grumbled, "Anything for the Princess of the Arduennas."

"Prince-there is no Princess of the-oh, I see. Miss. Elphaba!"

Elphaba's thin lips curled into a crooked smile as she obliged Galinda's request. In the dim lamp light the shadow of her boney figure looked like a gargoyle in mid strike, ready to trounce Galinda at her next call. Not to be intimidated Galinda gathered her dignity and smiled sweetly at the girl, "Many thanks, I apologize for the inconvenience." She had almost added a bit about Elphaba's inheritance as the Thropp Eminence to get her back but had decided it would just end up being more of an insult to herself, as indeed, Elphaba was born with much more of a title than she.

And so, this is how Galinda swallowed her pride and retired for the evening. Upset with herself to be in this situation, to have been insulted by her grotesquely colored roommate, to have lied about her condition in lieu of a different plan and most certainly to have to go through with what she was to go through with the following day. If anything was beneath her, surely it was this.


"Miss. Galinda, you must get up, you've slept quite long enough this morning. Are you ill?" Ama Clutch prodded at Galinda.

"Oh Ama, I am very ill. I do not think it would be wise of me to be out and about today."

"Well, let me get the thermometer if you will not let me see your face, and I will set up an appointment in the doctor's ward for this morning." Ama Clutch stood with a purpose and made to fulfill her mission.

Galinda, in a slight state of panic, pinched her cheeks as hard as she could, flung the covers off of her and sprinted after Ama Clutch. "Not necessary Ama!" She said while running by, "This may be the end of it now!" With a cough and a little retch she thrust herself down the hallway and into the ladies bathroom.

After a convincing display of noises, Galinda emerged, rosy faced and damp. She had pinched her cheeks an absurd amount and splashed water on her face only padding it half way dry. Ama Clutch was waiting in the common area of her dormitory. "Ama, if you please, no doctor will be necessary, I require only sleep now. I would very much like to stay undisturbed for the rest of the day. I don't think I will be able to stomach a meal until tomorrow."

"Very well Miss. Galinda. Shall I find another place for Miss. Elphaba to stay for the night?"

"No, no, that will not be necessary. She never makes much fuss anyway, I don't feel it would disturb me.

"Lurline be with you, my child. A speedy recovery."

"Thank you Ama." Galinda bowed herself out and retired to her room feeling her plan had worked almost too well.

Once inside she shut the door tight and looked around. She was feeling devious with her continued success at lying and thought herself professionally clever. Elphaba didn't seem to own many things, but surely she must own a bar of soap, thought Galinda. She began rifling through drawers, opening doors and peering underneath anything she found but her search turned up nothing. The only supplies she found that showed any sign that Elphaba practiced self care was an old frayed hair brush and a bottle of oil.

"No soap! No sponge!" Galinda sat back in astonishment. "Perhaps I've missed something, but no! I've looked everywhere I'm sure of it!" She picked up the bottle of oil and gave it a sniff, lightly scented like sweet sesame, she wouldn't rule it out but it still wasn't soap. "What a peculiar creature I've come to room with! I suppose I'll have to wait and see what she does when she gets in this evening..."

Playing sick turned out to be a plaguingly dull. For a time, Galinda amused herself by taking an inventory of her gowns and accessories, coming up with different combinations and noting the sort of occasion she would fancy wearing them. She paced for a time back and forth, pondering possible alternatives to bathing. She contemplated sewing garnishes onto some of Elphaba's rags so they would not seem so shabby. Her efforts, she decided, would not be appreciated properly so she opted against it.

As the day wore on Galinda began to feel rather like a prisoner of war. This piece of gossip had taken up her entire day! The sun was beginning to set and the light took on a warm radiant glow. She sat on her bed for a while and stared listlessly out the window, watching the ceaseless forms of activity through the rippled glass. There was a group of boys on the common rehearsing a performance. One was waving his hands wildly while the other reached out as if calling to his friend. A group of girls sat under a tree in the distance, watching and giggling into their hands hoping secretly that the boys would notice them. On the pathways students bustled by, some to evening lectures, others returning to their dormitories with armfuls of books and homework. In the distance the dinner bell rang, its echoes jumping from building to building reminding Galinda that she was ravenously hungry. But there would be no dinner for her tonight, by choice, Galinda would go hungry, so that she may observe what ever bedtime rituals Elphaba conducted.

Just then, as she was observing a girl and a boy saying their sweet goodbyes, a dark shape rushed past them, Galinda almost didn't pay it any mind accept for the flash of green skin uncovered as the hair swept along in the breeze. Elphaba, walking with purpose back to her room. Swept in a state of surprise Galinda dashed back to her bed and covered herself completely in her blankets, drawing them up over her head so as to make believe she had been there all day. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to even her breathing.

It was not long before Elphaba arrived at their room. Galinda heard her roughly tug the lock and forcefully open the door as if in some sort of hurry. Just as quickly as she strode into the room, she stopped dead. Galinda, pretending her hardest to be in a deep sleep, hoped Elphaba could not hear her heart has it hammered against her chest. She wasn't usually one for praying but now she said a silent prayer to Lurline that Elphaba not have an inhuman sense for proper girls with ulterior motives.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Elphaba resumed movement and went about piling books onto her desk and ruffling papers. Beneath her prison of blankets, Galinda heaved a silent sigh of relief.

It was some time later that Galinda felt it was save for her to emerge from her feathered cave. Elphaba, after some liberal rustling around, had left to retrieve dinner for herself and Galinda had propped herself up and lit her lamp to write a letter to her parents. The reprieve from her roommate was comforting, for although she had been alone all day, once Elphaba had returned she had been plagued by a huge weight of guilt, (or was it fear?) sitting like a rhinoceros, or a Rhinoceros, on her chest.

Part way through her letter, Elphaba returned. She carried with her a small satchel of muffins and fruit which she placed on her bed. Galinda did not look up for she thought paying anymore than the usual amount of attention to her green goblin of a roomie would make her seem suspicious. This proved a dire mistake, moments later something hit the wall next to her head with a force and exploded, showering crumbs all over herself and her bedsheets. Galinda barely had time to look up to see an empty ink bottle fly past her face and burst to pieces.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice!? You vile thing!" A book slammed with a thunderous crack in a similar spot as the other objects.

"Miss. E-"

"Shut up! Do you never stop tormenting me!? You bold faced liar! I have half a mind to turn you into Ama Clutch, or Madame Morrible! Tell me why I shouldn't!" Elphaba advanced towards her and Galinda found herself scrambling to back herself away as far as she could.

"Wh-what ever are you talking about?" Her eyes flicked around the room looking for some route of escape.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Elphaba pointed a boney finger towards her and then thrust it, spear like, back towards her belongings. "You went through my things! Looking for what, I cannot figure out! What could you, glorious, luscious, posh little you want with my things!" She threw her arms up in disgust.

"Well you see..."

"Oh yes, do tell me. I'm dying to know!" Elphaba pulled up the chair from her desk and perched herself on it, looking birdlike, a vulture waiting for it's victim to finally die.

"The girls and I were having tea the other day before class and...well..." Galinda wished she could have melted into the wall as she pressed against it.

Elphaba waved her on with her hand, meaning for her to continue.

"Well, the matter of bathing was brought up. I had never thought about it you see..."

"You bath daily. How can you say you've never thought about it? Everyone bathes. Stop lying to me."

"But you don't!" She blurted out before she could catch herself. Quickly she covered her mouth with her hand and a feeling of terror crept over her as Elphaba's face contorted, cat like, into rage.

"Is that what you were after, you rat? You all thought it would be good sport to spy on me!? Get out."

"No I didn't want to, I told them it was nonsense-"

"Yet here you are! Ill indeed. Ill in the head! I said, get out!"

"But-"

"I am fighting the urge to slap you, so get out before my judgement returns. Go! Get out! Get out!" Elphaba flung the door open and glared at Galinda unmoving.

Timidly, as if being in proximity to such anger would sting her like acid, Galinda slipped out. The door slammed behind her with such force her hair bristled in the breeze of it.


It was hours later that she finally plucked up the nerve to limp back to her room. She had spent quite a long time in the common area staring out the window curled in a thread bare armchair. Her eyes were puffy and her complexion horribly blotchy. She wasn't entirely sure if she was crying because of the shock of it all, because she had been caught in a horrendous web of lies, or more likely because she was self absorbed and took pity on herself.

Elphaba did not look at her has she entered. She was folded like a bundle of sticks on her bed staring down the pages of another book. Galinda dared not make eye contact or even acknowledge her presence. As quietly as possible, as if the silence were a binding contract, she began removing the shards and crumbs from her bed. It continued on for sometime in this manner until finally Elphaba spoke.

"If you must know..." she did not look up from her book, "I am allergic."

Feeling as though this conversation was a fragile piece of china, which had been recently shattered and glued back together again, Galinda hesitated before squeaking out a reply. "Allergic to bathing?"

"You really are as dim witted as you seem. No, you prat. Water. It is profoundly painful to me." Her monotonous tone made what she was saying even more unbelievable than it already was.

"How can you be allergic to water? How do you survive?" Galinda said, turning to face Elphaba.

"It depends on what it is, though it always causes me some level of pain." She had still not put her book down, though it was doubtful that she was still reading.

"So, how do you stay clean?"

"Really, I will not be interviewed, seeing as none of this is your business to begin with," Elphaba said. "I use the oil you had your paws all over today."

"Does it hurt?" Galinda was becoming more curious.

Elphaba stared at Galinda for a moment before replying, "Yes."

"But, I don't see how you can get clean that way."

"I'm done talking about this. Have a good night." Her nose turned back to the book and she said no more for the rest of the evening.


"Oh Galinda! Where have you been!" Pfannee greeted her brightly the next morning at breakfast. "Or better yet, what have you found out?"

"Oh yes! Tell us! Do!" Milla inched in closer so they heads were all very close together.

"May I prepare my biscuits first?" Galinda said, reaching for the jam.

"You avoid this topic like a plague! Why ever do you do that?" Shenshen said. "If I had been blessed with an interesting roommate I can assure you that you would all know every awful quirk and detail!" The other girls nodded in agreement.

"Because it is all we ever seem to talk about!" She put her knife down forcefully. "Why must we talk about my roommate?"

"Well, because our roommates aren't green!" Shenshen hissed out this last word in a hushed tone to emphasize its importance to any eves-droppers.

Galinda pursed her lips and looked at the other girls. It was clear she was not going to win this argument and was possibly going to be afflicted by this sort of badgering for the rest of her stay at Shiz if she was to keep this circle of friends. A sacrifice, she told herself, that was going to be well worth it in the end.

"So please, tell us. People say things you know, and imagine if we could provide them with the facts!"

Facts indeed, Galinda thought, if one of them had a roommate whom everyone and their brother seemed to talk about she would certainly not want provide them with the facts for their own education! No. It would bring them status. After all wasn't that the power in the art of gossip? And at whose expense? Why, her own, and, of course Elphaba's. She needed to plot her move carefully. It would bring attention on herself, but perhaps not the attention she sought. She must handle this gracefully and she must not lie.

"Well, I was able to find out something," she said. The three friends drew closer to Galinda. She took a bite of her biscuit dismissively. "It was as I said. She bathes and regularly! Don't you think she would smell something awful if she didn't? Honestly." Shenshen, Pfannee, and Milla sat back in their chairs, their faces not masking their disappointment.

"Why ever is she green then?" Milla said. "I had heard that it was because her skin is turning sour."

"I had heard that she is plagued with the worst case of aquaphobia ever recorded," Pfannee added. "You've seen the way she wraps herself like a monk when it rains! I had heard that she is green because of the moss and mildew that has begun to fester on her unclean skin."

"I'm quite sure of my answer," Galinda said, shrugging. "Now, I have heard that Madame Morrible's tik tok thing was made by Winkie slaves in a factory somewhere in Winkie Country. Where do you suppose tik tok things come from anyhow? They seem to be everywhere but they must start somewhere!"

"I never liked tik tok things, the way they click and jerk."

"Slaves? Do you really think so?"

"Our Wizard? Keeping slaves? Even if they are Winkies."

With their attention shifted and their minds swirling with thoughts of tik toks and slave drivers and tik tok slave drivers, the matter concerning Elphaba had ended. Perhaps not squashed for good, but Galinda had done good in defusing it and dodging a bullet, perhaps two bullets.

From elsewhere in the dining room, Elphaba drained the last of her coffee, gathered her books and took her leave. She made for Galinda's table, still in the heat of conversation about the controversy of tik toks, and as she strode she brushed Galinda's chair in passing. Galinda, aware, did not look up, but as Elphaba passed she caught the faint whiff of sweet sesame.


A/N: I had not read much Wicked Fanfic when I began writing this and I didn't realize (maybe stupidly) that there are a billion and 1 stories titled As Long As You're Mine. I'm thinking about changing the title to something more identifying but I'm not sure that would mess up anyone who was already reading this, making it harder to find. Hmm.

Either way. This is the first of the chapters where the story really gets going! Let me know if I did a good enough job keeping the Gregory Maguire feeling in the writing style.