Chapter 3: Prepare for a wound

Today and for the first time since I started working at AMG, I can't wait to get to the office. I'm still dreading to see Zack's name on the schedule but now I'll have something to distract me. It's hard to believe but out of a thousand demos, there was one worthy band. I can already see them being labeled as 'wannabes' or 'failed copy' of Paramore just because the singer's a girl but they have potential and it'd be a waste not to use it. Keith must have thought the same or he wouldn't have let me contact them.

"Hey, you're here early." Nano's voice greets me when I step out if the elevator. I want to enlighten that he's one to talk but I'm not going to. He has to be here earlier on Mondays to fix up the schedule of the week.

"I've left a couple of things hanging on Friday and want them done by the end of the morning." I'm not lying to him. I did leave early and in a rush on Friday in order to avoid all contacts with the guys. Things with Alex were as good as they could be but Jack was a completely different story. He hasn't uttered a word to me since our little argument in the lounge room, three weeks ago.

"Zack's in town and he's coming here tomorrow." Nano blurts the words out so fast that I'm struggling to find their meaning but once I do, my heart skips a couple of beats and I suddenly find it hard to breath. It takes me a few seconds to recover completely and only then do I notice Nano's soft gaze. It's like he's waiting for me to break down any minute now but I'm not going to. I'll be fine. Everything's going to be alright. Eventually.

"It had to happen, right?" I force a smile to lighten the mood but I can say that he's not buying it. I've spent the last month making up all kind of scenarios in my head, from the best to the worst. I should be ready to face him but I'm not even close to be.

"You don't have to be here if you don't feel it." Nano reminds me with that condescending tone I hate so much. It just reminds me that everything is messed up at the moment and this is all my fault. I'm dealing with the consequences now, it should be enough of a punishment.

"I'll be fine." I lie a little. I won't be fine. I'll be worried sick and I'll probably want to bail again but I won't make the same mistake twice. I won't run away anymore. I'm not the girl I was three years ago. I don't take the easy way out anymore.

"If you need a friend, I won't be far.

I didn't think a morning could pass by so quickly. I guess that's the beauty of having an office. If you don't see everyone that comes in and out of the elevator, you don't feel like time is dragging on. I wish I could keep it but its owner's gonna come back at some point. A quick glance at the clock lets me know that it's time for my meeting with the band. They better be here already. Keith hates it when someone shows up just a minute late. I step out of my temporary office to see three boys and a girl sitting on the uncomfortable seats. They all stand up at the same time and nervously stare at me as I approach them. I've never been in their spot per say but I know exactly how they feel. I know how it feels when you realize that your life is about to change.

As he slowly drifted back to consciousness, Zack moved to hold Kahlan in his arms but only found emptiness. He opened an eye to look at the clock on her bedside table and groaned at the early hour of the morning. They had no reason to be up. Both of their schools had been closed because of the snowstorm and they didn't have to meet up with the guys till the afternoon. He draped the covers around his body and made his way to their balcony. Kahlan loved to watch the sunrise. The pretty colors brought hopes for the day to come, she said. As expected, he found her standing there to stare at the landscape.

"The bed is cold without you." Zack whispered into her ears, wrapping his arms around her waist and bringing the covers around her thin body in the process. He noticed that her skin was icy cold and wondered how long she had been there for.

"I didn't want to wake you up." Kahlan replied distantly, eyes focused on the sky above them. She wanted to stare at him instead but he could read right through her when he looked into her eyes and she couldn't have that today. She didn't want another almost perfect day to be clouded by her worries.

"You haven't slept much lately." Zack noticed after a couple of minutes of silence, fingertips delicately brushing over her skin. He had woken up to an empty bed quite a few times over the last couple of weeks and it started to worry him a little. Kahlan had never been much of a late sleeper but she liked to hang out in bed all morning when they had nothing else to do.

"I don't want things to change, ever." Kahlan murmured with the faint hope that Zack wouldn't hear it but she knew he did by the way his hands looked for hers under the covers and how he laced his fingers with hers. He always did that when he wanted to comfort her and she didn't mind it to the least. She loved how they fitted together, almost perfectly.

"Nothing's going to change." Zack promised and softly kissed her neck. It was a lie and they both knew it. A lot of things were going to be different after graduation. Hopeless had made a point to send them on tour more often and have them work with the best producers around. Everything related to All Time Low was going to be bigger now and outcomes would come along. It was inevitable.

"You're going to be away a lot more."

"We'll need our manager with us."

"I'll have classes to attend here." She reminded him with a sigh. College education was her parents' condition to let her move in with Zack on their senior year of high school. It was a small prize to pay for his face to be the first and last thing to catch her gaze every day. She just wished it didn't mean being apart for weeks or even months after graduation and till the end of her studies.

"We'll be okay, Kahlan. No matter how long I'll be gone for, I'll always come back to you. I love you and nothing's going to change that." Zack assured with a smile and tightened his grip on her. Kahlan still managed to turn around to face him. She locked her hands behind his head and leant up to kiss him softly. The weak voice in her head kept on repeating that change was inevitable but she decided to ignore it for a little bit longer and just make the best out of their time together before… before everything.

"Let's go back to bed."

These flashbacks are getting me worried now. Not only are they more and more frequent with every passing day but I also find it harder and harder to focus back on present time. My reality check appears under the form of a small paper ball thrown directly in my face and I have to shake my head a little to remember where I am and what I'm doing here. All four members of Crossing Coldwater are staring at me with a funny expression but I can't really blame them. I've been zoning out on them more often than never and we've only met a few times. They remind me of the past a bit too much for my liking.

"Kahlan Carter, you haven't changed a bit!" A voice I know well exclaim from behind me. I waste no time to turn around and here he stand; the one and only Robert Rian Dawson. I didn't think I'd ever see him around. He has never been one to care about all the management stuff. He just went with whatever the others had decided most of the time. He's a "going with the flow" kind of guy. Or he used to be but a lot have changed in three years.

"Rian Dawson, you don't look the same at all!" I laugh as I take in his appearance. He has never been bad looking but he definitely looks better now than he did three years ago. It's amazing what a haircut can do to someone. It changes a lot.

"Amazing what a few pounds can do to you, eh?" He jokes, flashing his one million dollars smile. That's one thing that hasn't change about him. He could swoon whomever he wants with that grin of him but he's as faithful to Kara as a nun to God. Well, he was at least. I have to stop thinking everything's still the same. Everything's different now; that's a fact.

"Ri, we have to rush." Jack mutters without a glance at me and I feel the coldness brush me like wind in wintertime. I thought he'd stop giving me the cold shoulder after a while but it looks highly unlikely now. He has a way to turn my smiles into frowns with just a few words and I don't like it to the least. It'll have to stop sooner or later; one way or another.

"Go ahead, I'll follow." Rian tells him and nods discreetly. I wonder if it means something in their language. If it does, Jack got the hint because he waste no time to walk away. It may just be that he doesn't want to see dear old me any longer. I don't know and I honestly don't want to know either.

"He's not my biggest fan, eh?"

"We have to fill in papers to get a visa. It makes him cranky." Rian lies a little bit better than he did back in high school but he's still rubbish at it. Jack pretty much hates me now and there's not much I can do to change his opinion. I shouldn't have expected less from him. I always knew about his tendency to hold a grudge.

"I have to go but I'll see you around?" Rian says after a few seconds of silence. It's a good way to snap me out of my thoughts. I try to think of something to say but nothing comes out. He just smiles once more and jogs in direction of Jack who stopped to wait for him a few feet away from me. Yes, he hates me for real.

"Where did I see these dudes before?" Kaya ponders out loud, a light frown on her face as she concentrates to figure it out. It can't be that big of a mystery. With their album being released in just a few days, they are pretty much everywhere these days. They don't do much TV but they're always on the road.

"They tour a lot."

"We're Canadians, we don't do American tour." Gunar enlightens a fair point but that doesn't make it less possible. The guys did a few dates in Canada with Warped. Not that I can imagine any of them going on Warped but I don't know them all that much yet. They could be full of surprises.

"Oh, I know. It was on MTV."

I watch the door of the elevator close on Crossing Coldwater's band members with a feeling of contentment rushing through my veins. I can't believe Keith actually agreed to let me manage them on my own. He didn't even ask Nano to supervise me like I thought he would. It feels so go to realize that he actually trust me enough to give me a shot. I'm not going to fuck him up. I'm not going to let him down. To hell my cold former friends, I'm not going anywhere anymore. Except to the coffee machine. I haven't slept much last night and I need something to keep me awake. I don't know anything better than coffee to aim that purpose. It helped me through many sleepy days back in my College years.

"I thought you could do with caffeine." Jack says quickly, handing me a cup of freshly made coffee. I could swear I'm seeing a smile on his face. I must have fallen asleep during the meeting and this is all a dream. I don't know why I would be dreaming about Jack being nice to me but there's no other explanation.

"You look tired." He adds before I got a chance to thank him for the coffee. When I think about it, I don't think I should drink it. He could have poisoned it to get rid of me forever. It's something he could have done. Who am I kidding? He couldn't even kill an annoying fly, let alone his former best friend.

"You still get stressed out when your band is on the line, eh?" Jack tries to make conversation. There's something wrong about it. I don't know why but it doesn't feel right. It would have been almost natural if he hasn't been giving me the cold shoulder for the last month or so. Now, it's just weird.

"I'm sorry but what is it with you? No longer than an hour ago, you couldn't wait to get away from me and now, you're talking to me like it's casualty. I just… I don't understand."

"I figured we could at least try to be civil to each other, considering you're working here and I tend to come over pretty often." Jack replies with a simple shrug. I can't quite believe it. I don't think he came to that conclusion on his own, not after a month of seeing me pretty much every day. Something tells me that Rian isn't a stranger to that twist in the situation.

"Uh, so you're going to work with the dudes from earlier?" He stutters a little, pushing his hands deep into his pockets and looking at his feet. He used to do that a lot when he was nervous or embarrassed. He has no reason to be embarrassed right now and the whole 'be civil to each other' situation could be rather nerve wrecking. Actually, it's strange enough for me to turn mute.

"Is the chick their singer?" He asks a lot of question today. I start to think we're playing twenty questions but I should reply to him for the game to be fair. Hell, I should be allowed to ask twenty questions myself for it to be fair. I just have to stop nodding like a dummy and actually voice my answer.

"You know that you're going to break your teeth on them, right?" He laughs a little, finally looking up at me. It's not like I didn't expect suck remarks but I didn't think Jack would be the one to make them. They started as a bunch of horny kids dreaming to be the next New Found Glory or Blink 182. No one gave them more than a few months in the showbiz and yet here they are, one of the biggest rock bands of the moment. He should know better than to judge a cover.

"Only time will tell." I reply with a smile that I hope honest enough. I may be a bit bothered by his assumptions but I don't want to give him the wrong impression. We're just starting to make progress and I don't want to mess it up.

"You're lucky she's a hottie." Jack mutters with a weak smile. It's seriously getting on my nerve now. He hasn't listened to them and he assumes they're going to sound just like any chick band. He's not being fair to them. I expected better from him. I wish there was a way to prove him wrong. Oh wait, there is a way.

"Why won't you come with me to see them play tonight?"

"I'm going out with friends tonight."