Me: Spring has officially sprung in Ohio. -.-
Batts: Isn't that a good thing?
Me: No. Because, unlike the uneducated people of your time, we're forced to spend 6 ½ hours locked up in a concrete jail called school, while it's completely nice out.
Batts: I WENT TO SCHOOL YOU IDIOT!
Me: THEN WHY DID YOU JOIN THE WAR AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE YOU CRAZY JACK ARSE!
Batts: BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT WOMAN!
Me: WAH WAH WAH! THAT'S NOT MY FAULT, IS IT!
Kaoru: JUST STOP FIGHTING AND GET ON WITH THE STORY YOU GUYS!
Me: -.- Hmph. Fine, don't own nothin.
Spatial- ...I'm not kidding. It was in my power. YAY THE POWER OF THE PEN! And it's simple. He wants to kill you cause you know me...le duh. Remember, I tease cuz I care. Pertaining to Sano and You...can you say...IN-LAWS! (runs away from your wrath)
inuwolf04- Cussing dad, kinda normal for me...I mean, it's not a great shock to me when he does...he just doesn't do it often. HAHA!
Reignashii- (sarcastically) Ohhhhh! So that's why! Okay then...HAHA LOL. As to the trouble of the kids, there's a nice little chart of who's who's kids in the first chappie you can always refer to.
anim3angel- Me and Angel: (curled up on the loveseat staring at the violently jiggling UPS box) Me: (takes the broom handle she removed from the broom and pokes the box with it, accidentally knocking it over) Shit too much counterweight. Angie, open it for me. Angel: Wha? Wha? Me? Well, it is only a simple spell...s-so I can't hurt anyone, right? Me: Yeah. Angel: (snaps her fingers and ends up blowing up the box instead of opening it) O.O Oh my. (Quickly transports Ruin and Blade to "the pink room") Me: "The pink room" is my bedroom. Don't gimme shit about it either! We built this house when I was in second grade and my parents were stupid enough to let me choose my room color. I've tried covering it up with Anime pics...but the pink is still there. So...now Ruin has to stare at a pink room...and anime bishies such as Kurama (God), Hiei (Goder!), and Sesshomaru (not even god could be that so damned handsome!). Naoko: Actually, I have a few theories on how Ruin will react to this... Me: Oh god, here we go. Let's just order a pizza. YO! SPIKE! ONE PEPPERONI FOR ME AND ONE VEGETARIAN FOR ANGIE! Naoko: First off, he will be really- Me: (begins loudly banging her head on the computer desk) Naoko: (stops) -.- I'll just shut up. (Walks away) Me: THANK GOD! Ahems, anywho, I'm sure the moping about was due to PMS...seeing as- (looks around and covers Ryushi's ears and whispers) I'm on my "time" right now. (Uncovers Ryushi's ears) So...yeah. Oh! And at the bottom of this chappie is a handy dandy guide for Ryushi and Aion. It's called Hormone Hostage. It's a guide for men when their girlfriends are on PMS. It's really funny! Angel: Hello everyone! Me: ...You're just now getting to that! Come to think of it, you've been quiet lately. Angel: I can't help but to be worried about Aion-koi. I hope he doesn't get cursed by the Kadar Kibas. Me: The Kadwhodiuhwhat? Angel: Anno, frankly, I am not too sure myself. Me: ...Should we send Ruin back now? Angel: I think that that would be for the best. Spike: WAIT! (puts a box in my hands) Me: Wha? Spike: It's a triple-layered double-chocolate cake with fudge icing. Give it to Soari. Me: O.O What? SPIKE YOU KNOW I'M- (hands the box to Angel and covers Ryushi's ears again and whispers) on my period (uncovers Ryushi's ears) SO WHY THE CRUNK DIDN'T YOU MAKE ME ONE? Spike: SHE NEEDS IT MORE THAN YOU! Me: YOU DON'T EVEN MAKE THOSE FOR ME! Angel: (boxes Ruin up and puts the cake in another box and ships him off, while Spike and I are fighting) Well, looks like I'll have to go to Alpha Delta Niner. (Inhales) NIKKI-CHAN! ANNA'S ON THE PHONE AND SHE HAS AREN ON THE OTHER LINE! Me: WHAT? (shoves Spike away) WHERE! Aw, shit man! Angie, you lied to me! Angel: I did what I must. Me: So I guess the Ruin/Nikki match-up meter is ticking? Angel: Yes! Me: Heh, lemme explain. Anna was at her track meet (anna's my friend) and she met this guy, named Matt, from the other team and they talked and he asked her out...so now that they're going out, he introduced his friend to her and his name's Aren. And when Anna was telling him about us, Ariel, Me, Sarra, and A.J., Aren was particularly "interested" in me...if you get what I mean...so meter's tickin guys. Chop Chop. Oh! Sliphie! Sliph: Don't call me that. Me: DO IT! DO IT! Sliph: (growls) Fine. (Changes into a dragon) Me: Hey Ryushi! Look! One circus act that never made it! (opens Sliph's mouth and sticks her head inside and then pulls her head out and closes his mouth and does it again) Sliph: -.- Me: HAHAHAHA! GET IT! IT'S LIKE WHEN THAT LION TAMER DUDE OPENS UP THE LION'S MOUTH AND STICKS HIS HEAD IN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Sliph: -.- (lets out a small growl and walks away) Angel: (giggles a bit) Yes, thank-you very much for showing me your dragon form Ryushi-sama! (bows) It was very kind. I hope I didn't offend you by reminding you of your promise! Me: (turns all chibi and looks at Ryushi with those big chibi eyes) Ryu? Can I play with your hair? (eyes get bigger and cuter) PWEASE! (pops back to normal) Anywho. You know Ruin, they say that when you like someone, you pick on them alot...so you must like me A LOT! LOLZ! Well. I gotta go! Ciao y'all! And remember, meter's running! I never thought this'd ever happen...Ari and gang vs. Anna in getting me hooked up. LOL. Well, bye! And Ri? Enjoy the chocolate cake cause Spike doesn't make it for just anyone! Angel: Yes...I'm sorry I've been so quiet during this review...I'm just so worried about Aion-koi. Please tell him I said hello. Ja everyone! (blows you all a kiss) Oh! Yes! Nikki-kun wanted to know what everyone thought of Angelina...I mean personality wise.
Back at the Cabin...
Angel was running her sweet little head off, trying to find Aion. Finally, she comes across Spatial, who was walking in with a basket of laundry.
"SPATIAL-SAN!" Spatial stops dead in her tracks and turns around.
"Yes?"
"Oh, thank goodness. Have you seen Aion-kun?"
"...Who?" Angel sighs.
"Aion, my husband. Tall, reddish brown hair. Grey eyes, tattoos on his neck and back. That Aion?"
"Oh...OH! Yeah, he said somethin about going down to the beach."
"THANK-YOU!" Angel begins to go outside.
"Oh! Angel!" She stops and turns back around.
"Yes?"
"Congratulations on the husband and kids."
"Thank-you! XD" She turns around and runs down the trail to the lake, accidentally running into her daughter. They both blink at eachother to register what was going on.
"Angelina, where is your father?"
"Oh, yeah, well, heh, heh, it's a funny story."
"Angelina May..." Angel begins to growl.
"WHY THE HELL IS THIS CRAZED PSYCHOPATH AFTER MY FAMILY IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Aion and Nikki come bursting onto the trail, in one heck of an argument.
"I DON'T KNOW! BUT DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON ME!"
"IF YOU WEREN'T HERE THEN THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!"
"DON'T YOU EVEN BEGIN TO BLAME THIS ON ME AION ARASHI!"
"HELL! I'LL BLAME IT ON YOU IF I-ANGEL! THERE YOU ARE!"
"AION!" Angel jumps on him and gives him a hug, "I've heard!"
"You what?"
"About Enishi, I've heard. Don't worry."
"What the-how!"
"Spatial's daughter Namine," Angel tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, "it turns out that she is a psychic and she told me. Don't worry. Everything will be fine. We have Nikki-chan!"
"WHAT!" both Aion and Nikki yell in unison.
"OH! SO IF YOUR KIDS DIE, IT'S MY FAULT!"
"ANGEL! I seriously don't think..."
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK PEOPLE! YOU'RE THE ADULTS HERE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SETTING A FUCKING EXAMPLE FOR ME YOU SHIT HEADS!" Everyone stares at Angelina.
"And you kiss your mother with that mouth." Aion lets out a 'tsk, tsk, tsk' noise and shakes his head.
"Yeah, and you kiss her WITH some tongue...doncha dad?"
"Angelina May Arashi..."
"Yessums Aion Arashi?"
"(sigh) I swear I don't know what I'm going to do with you. You're just-just-in a category of your own. You know that?"
"I know! XD" Angelina strikes a victory pose. Everyone looks at her and sweat drops and begins to walk away.
"HEY! YOU GUYS!" she whines/yells, "WAIT UP! COME ON! THIS IS SO NOT FUNNY!" She takes off after them and glomps her father once she catches up.
Later on...
"Okay y'all, listen up!" Everyone ignores Nikki and keeps on doing what they were doing, "YO!" she yells, her voice echoing off the cabin walls, "I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO ME!" Everyone stops what they were doing and stares at her.
"Ahem, as you know, some crazed psychopath is after us all...so we must take precautions."
"You mean like, no going out to give guys B.J.'s after dark?" Angelina asks.
"ANGELINA!" Aion yells.
"What!" Angelina glares at him and goes back to painting her toenails.
"You know, Angelina's right, even though she has the morals of an Alley Cat." a nail polish brush, loaded with pink nail polish, hits Alex on the cheek. He glares at his sister and wipes the nail polish off, "We really shouldn't be going out after dark."
"Easier said than done, but a good suggestion. Actually I was more thinking along the lines of learning how to fight to defend ourselves." Nikki crosses her arms and leans up against the wall, "Is there anyone here that does not know how to fight with a weapon?" Everyone looks around, but all remained silent. "Wow, you people are making my job easy. Okay! I just need to know who fights with what and we'll be all set!" Nikki takes out a notepad and a pencil.
"Why?"
"Because, my ever so curious Spatial, Mafia records."
"And since when did you become in charge of those?"
"Since my dad was caught in crossfire and killed, leaving me Mafia leader, dumbass.
"Oh gods Nikki, I'm sorry!"
"Eh, doesn't matter. He wouldn't want us to cry over it. Now, let us start with Angelina."
A whole bunch of blah, blah, blahs we all don't care about anyway, later...
"GOODNIGHT Y'ALL!"
"FOR THE FIFTH TIME IRENA! GOODNIGHT!" everyone in the cabin yells.
"I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU PEOPLE KEEP ME UP ALL NIGHT AGAIN, HEADS WILL BE FLYING!"
"Jeez Nikki I..."
"SHUT IT JASE!"
"Fine, fine." A light floods the cabin bunk room. Nikki sits up and lets out an aggravated scream.
"GOD! I SWEAR I WILL KILL WHOEVER IS DOING THAT!" she takes out a gun from underneath her nightgown and storms outside.
"Nikki-no wait!" everyone winds up following her. When they get outside, they see her in the middle of a fight with Nick, the oh so happy technician from the last fanfic, who looks about 23 years old now. Nick was wearing all brown and khaki.
"WHY ARE YOU HERE SO LATE AT THE FLIPPIN NIGHT!" Nikki yells.
"BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET OFF WORK UNTIL LATE WOMAN!" Nick yells back.
"OH GIRL! DON'T YOU EVEN GIMME THAT! By the way, how is Kira? XD"
"XD Oh she's doin great! The kids are fine too!"
"Really, got a picture?"
"Heck yeah!" Nick pulls out a wallet from her back pocket and the both coo at the sight of a single picture and go all giggly at the next one.
O.o (Everyone)
"That...could get weirder."Angelina says. A girl who looks just like Nick pops out from the wood. Everyone stares at her for a few seconds and then back at Nikki and Nick.
"Hey guys, it just got weirder."
"WHAT THE CRUNK! HOW IS SOARI HERE WHEN SOARI IS HERE!"
"Star, you realize that made no sense whatsoever."
"Jack off Ruin."
Me: We interrupt this part of the fanfic for a special news bulletin. (Picks up a piece of paper and a picture of a guy with black hair and red eyes, smoking weed with the Telletubbies comes up in the corner of the screen, like on the news) Ruin Kuroimizu, as pictured here, has been caught red handed smoking pot with the Telletubbies. Nothing has been said about this except, and I quote, "Dipstick is dipshit and Po, is a big ho."
Ruin: (comes out infront of the news desk) NIKKI! YOU BITCH! I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! (begins chasing me around the news desk)
Me: WOO! (Runs around the news desk) WOO! (Runs around the news desk) WOO! (Runs around the news desk) WOO!(runs infront of the weather map) Crap, I'm cornered.
Ruin: (bares his fangs) Yes you are. (Charges at me)
Me: WOO! (Runs out of the way)
Ruin: (runs right into the weather map, falling on his back, causing the fake clouds on it to fall on him. Then the weather map falls on him. Then the camera falls on him. Then the whole pile blows up sending Ruin flying into the air and then he lands a couple seconds later. What remains of the weather map falls on him and then the melted camera falls on the weather map. Then, the beam holding the spotlights falls on the camera/weather map/Ruin and it bursts into flame. The emergency fire sprinklers turn on and spray water all over the pile. Then another camera falls onto the pile. Finally, the authoress's dog comes and lifts a leg against the pile.)
Me: (lmaoing) OMG! NOW THAT IS OVERKILL! HAHAHAHAHAHA! (falls on the floor laughing) Now back to the story. OMG! I can't even breathe! LOL!
Everyone stares at the TV where the news broadcast has just been released.
"Okay, now that is the most fucked up shit I have ever seen." Satari (black hair, w/ blue highlights that looks like its on fire when she has it in a ponytail) says all wide-eyed."Ruin?"
"WHAT!"
"But how does it make you feel?"
"OH MY GOD STAR! I SWEAR IF YOU ASK ME THAT ONE MORE TIME I'LL..." A slight growl was heard from a HUGE (I mean big ass) dragon from behind Satari. Angelina lets out a giant scream and jumps behind her dad.
"YOU WANNA PICK A FIGHT WITH ME RYU-RUNT!"
"Ryushi, sick em boy." The dragon growls contentedly and swats Ruin right onto Nick, and them right onto a tree.
"EW! GET OFF ME YOU PERV! OW! OKAY, NOW YOU JUST TOUCHED MY BOOB! YOU PERVERT!"
"I WOULD BE A PERVERT IF THERE WAS ANYTHING TO GROPE!"
"OH YOU DIDN'T!"
"I THINK I DID!" both of them get into a dust cloud fight.
"FYI BASTARD! I AM A 38 B!"
"FYI BITCH! I DON'T REALLY CARE!"
"WHAT THE HELL!" the dust cloud fight stops, with Ruin on top of Nick, both panting heavily.
"WHY DID YOU STOP YOU EGOTISTICAL BASTARD!" Nick yells at the guy above her.
"I DON'T KNOW! ALL I WANNA KNOW IS DO YOU WANNA KISS ME AS MUCH AS I WANNA KISS YOU!"
"I'M SURPRISED SOMEONE AS EVIL AS YOU HAD TO ASK!" Nick grabs the back of Ruin's head and slams his mouth against hers. After a couple of minutes, both separate, only panting harder.
"I HATE YOU!" Ruin screams at Nick.
"I HATE YOU TOO!" They both go back to kissing.
"Imagine what they'd do if they loved eachother." Soari (looks the same as Nick) asks Satari. They both shake their heads and sigh, following everyone back into the cabin, who was just like 'whatever' and falling asleep.
Me: One last closing statement: (an e-mail sent to me and mom)
Hormone Hostage
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the
month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very
life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common
as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff...
..And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Pass this on to your girlfriends who might need a good laugh!
Or to men who need a warning!
And remember: Money talks...chocolate sings.
Another giggle...
My husband, unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy diamonds.
Here... have some chocolate!
Me: LOL. R and R please
