A/N: I had a few requests for Edward's first-ever letter to Bella, so here it is :)

Thanks to Beta Dinx!

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters you recognize. The outtakes are rated M, not suitable for younger readers due to foul language, and for later chapters that may contain more than that...


Letters to Isabella

July 13, 2006

Dear Isabella,

I'm not entirely sure that this is a good idea, writing to you …

But what else can I do?

I've been here a little over a week. I still don't know why.

It's been eye-opening, to say the least. The things they make a man do when they first get here... well, I'll spare you the details. I've hardly left my cell. I go to the dining hall for the requisite three meals a day, and outside to smoke once or twice. That's it. I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to do here. They don't exactly make instruction manuals for this sort of thing, do they? What would it be called? "Incarceration for Dummies"?

I know you're wondering why I'm writing to you. That is, if you've even bothered to open this. I wouldn't blame you if you chuck it.

I have so much time to think in here, it's insane. A man should not be subjected to such infinite time, to allow his mind to wander on its own free will...

Needless to say, I'm desperate. I need the distraction, and writing affords me that. This letter is like a journal, I guess you could say. Shit … I probably won't even send this. If I do, you can throw it away. That's fine. At least I'll have found a way to pass the time.

At some point, I'm going to go crazy. I don't see how that can be avoided. They have programs here. I can learn a new skill, like cabinetry, or tutor inmates who can't read. I could give that a shot. But right now, I feel too discombobulated. Like I'm not me. I feel like I'm just hanging on, watching myself as an outsider.

Fuck.

I'm sorry, Isabella. I shouldn't be writing to you.

Forgive me.

Respectfully,

Edward