The Physician's was packed with customers. It was mid afternoon, and the room was full of elves stocking up on the latest ointments and medicines. Lady Lorienna was running at full speed, and had drafted in the assistances of most of her apprentices.
"Ah, Revel," she said, breathless from rushing around, as I passed through carrying several boxes of dried rosemary. "You're to go over to the dwarves' residence, please. Your presence is required."
"M-my presence? How do you know?"
"A little bird told me."
I almost laughed, remembering the jokes my mother used to make whenever it was my birthday; 'a little bird told me it's someone's birthday today', but then remembered that the elvish physician was unlikely to be using a human proverb. And, sure enough, as I glanced to Lady Lorienna's shoulder, I saw a small blue bird twittering away with its message that I was not skilled enough to understand.
"Won't you be coming?" I asked, as I placed the boxes on a shelf.
"How can I?" snapped Lady Lorienna. "I haven't got time to deal with dwarves anymore. I've got a business to run here! Take one of the other girls with you if you must."
I looked hopefully towards Anneli, who was behind the counter with her sleeves rolled up to her shoulders, kneading a sticky looking dough in a bucket.
"Not Anneli," said Lady Lorienna, reading my thoughts. "She's far too busy with that mixture. Take Tahadrial or Roseanna or somebody."
And who should appear from the workshop at that moment? Tahadrial of course.
"I'll come with you, Revel," she said, with false sweetness. "I don't mind."
"Oh, you really don't have to-
"Nonsense! It will be much more fun for you if there's two of us!"
Smiling serenely, Tahadrial slipped her arm through mine, and I allowed myself to be steered out of the shop by her, a sort of stunned expression frozen on my face.
As soon as we were a few yards away from the physician's, the elf dropped my arm as though burnt.
"Don't think I'm doing this to be nice to you," she said, tossing her long shiny hair.
"Don't worry, I wouldn't think such a ridiculous thing!"
"I'm only coming because I don't see why you should be the only one to get special treatment. It's not even as though you're very good at your job!"
"Yeah? So then why did Lady Lorienna choose me to come with her again this morning?"
"Probably because she feels sorry for you!"
We glared at each other.
I stomped off down the stone path, refusing to speak or even look at the elf, and we continued this fuming silence the whole way through Rivendell. As we approached the dwarves' residence, I thought it necessary to break the silence, and set some things straight.
"This is my job, alright?" I said, into the silence. "You're not to go messing it up for me, do you hear?"
Tahadrial rolled her large eyes. "Like that's going to happen," she said. "It's more likely to be the other way around. You're the one that usually messes things up."
"That's not true!"
"How about when we had to spend all day cleaning up the workshop when you exploded that bubopod flower everywhere?"
"Well I-
"Or when you treated that elf for measles, when he was really suffering from a heat rash?"
"But that was-
"Or when you embarrassed us all in front of Lord Elrond by dropping that precious urn?"
We would probably had argued in this manner for the rest of the day, had we not been interrupted by a harassed looking Fili, who came hurrying up to us at that moment.
"Hello," he said, breathlessly.
"Hi," I said.
"Look, I'm sorry to bring you all the way down here," the dwarf said. "But could you please go and check on my brother? I've been worried all day..."
I was beginning to agree with Lady Lorienna that Fili would do better to forget about Kili and stop worrying, or he was going to do himself some damage. But I did not say this. The dwarf had been kind to me, and I was determined to be kind in return.
"Of course I'll-
"Oh I'll go, Revel," interrupted Tahadrial. I stared at her in surprise. She was looking at Fili with interest, and had drawn herself up to her full, impressive, elven height. "Why don't you go and give a dwarf a foot rub or something?" I opened my mouth in surprise. "I'm Tahadrial," she continued to Fili, who was gazing up at the elf. "I shall gladly see to your brother, if you would take me to him. I'm a very skilled physician, you know. It's the elven touch, you know. And I'm very experienced. Not like poor Revel, here. She's more of a...Well, a dishwasher really! Not a proper physician's apprentice."
Tahadrial continued this irritating monologue all the way down the balcony, while Fili, unable to get a word in edgeways, continued to gaze up at her in awe.
Damn Tahadrial! Curse her and her elvish allure. My one and only time to shine had been taken away from me. Fili had asked me to come down here to look after his brother. I had felt useful and important for the first time in my life, and now Tahadrial had come in and spoiled it all. She had taken Fili in under her stupid elven charm, and I would never be called on again. He had sided with her. I hated this. Being shunted aside by elves all the time; always overshadowed and ostracised, just because I wasn't like them.
I kicked out at railing suddenly, practically growling in anger.
"You don't sound too happy," I glanced round and saw somebody of dwarfish stature stood in the doorway behind me. I turned back to look out and over the valley. I had had enough of dwarves.
"I'm not," I said, dully.
"Do you...do you want to talk about it?" he asked, timidly.
"No," I said, flatly. And then-"But do you ever feel like you don't fit in? Like you're surrounded by others, but you're all alone because they're not like you? Like a...a cow in a field of ponies, or a human in a land of elves, or a-
"Or a hobbit in a Company of dwarves?"
I turned back around and looked closer at the small person. Of course it wasn't a dwarf! Two large hairy feet stuck out from under his trousers, and two pointy ears flickered out from behind his curly hair. I had read about hobbits before, but never actually see one! I couldn't help but exclaim in excitement.
"Oh wow you're a hobbit!" I said.
"Well noted," said the hobbit, dryly. "An excellent observation, if I may say so. And, while I'm in the habit of saying things, might I say that you are not an elf. You're not stupidly tall and you don't have pointy ears."
I grinned almost shyly. It was very unusual for elvish traits to be spoken of in such a way that bordered on negative. It was refreshing.
"No," I agreed. "I'm not an elf. I'm a human. So nothing special here."
"Well that's where you're wrong," said the hobbit, waggling his finger at me and joining me in a surveillance of the valley. "Some of the greatest legends come from Man himself. Locrain, son of Locrore and his fight with the three headed bear? Errm, Thilbus and the mosquito swarm? He saved an entire village, and he only had one arm."
"Really?"
The hobbit nodded. "Yep. Though, as my dear old mother used to say 'revel in your imperfections.' And he certainly did!"
I gasped.
"What?" asked the hobbit. "What's the matter?"
"Oh, it's nothing," I said, quickly. "It's just that, well. That's my name. Revel."
"Well then!" said the hobbit, clapping his hands together. "That seems like a good sign to me!"
I smiled. "Thank you," I said. "You've made me realise; I was being ridiculous. Before, I mean. But it's just hard when you know you don't fit in."
"Tell me about it!" said the hobbit. He lowered his voice, "Imagine being surrounded by dwarves all the time."
I grinned. "I can see how their company could grow tiring," I agreed.
"I'm Bilbo, by the way," the hobbit said, extending a hand. "Bilbo Baggins."
I took his hand. "Revel," I said. "I'm the Lady Lorienna's apprentice. Or, one of them, at least."
"Oh, you're the physician's girl?" Bilbo seemed to be putting bits of information together in his head. "Yes, of course! Gandalf was telling me about Lady Lorienna's work. It seems that Thorin gave you a hard time, eh?"
I shrugged. "It's not as if I don't deserve it," I said. "But he does seem to dislike the elves greatly. Him and Lady Lorienna don't get along at all well."
Bilbo considered this. "No," he said, slowly agreeing. "No, he doesn't seem to care for elves much, does he? Oh well, I do! Elves fascinate me."
"Yes, well," I said, suddenly feeling quite miserable. "They're fascinating creatures," I said, dully.
"Oh, I didn't mean-
"Ah, still here, Revel?" Tahadrial was advancing towards us. Fili was nowhere to be seen. "I thought you might have taken your little self off back to the House, seeing as you're not needed here."
I felt some of the anger that had evaporated during my talk with the hobbit returning full force.
"Excuse me-
"Thank you so much for your help," interrupted Bilbo suddenly. "You've been so useful! I can't thank you enough."
He grinned wildly at me, clapping me on the arm. I blinked, stunned.
"What's all this?" said Tahadrial. "What have you been up to this time, Revel?"
"Oh she's been very kind helping me with a...a medical conundrum of mine."
"Oh? Well. That's...that's very good," Tahadrial looked rather taken aback. "Anyway, we best be off, if we're all done here."
"Right, yes," I said. "Did you let Fili in to see Kili, then?"
"Of course not Revel!" she said, condescendingly, rolling her eyes at Bilbo. "The infection is highly contagious to dwarves. Let Fili in the same room as his brother and you might as well inject him with illness!"
I narrowed my eyes. "I know it's contagious," I said. "But Fili has spent plenty of time with Kili, and he's not sick yet, is he? It's hardly going to matter if he sits with him for a few minutes."
"That," said Tahadrial. "Is the difference between a proper physician's apprentice, and you."
"Fine," I said, having had just about enough of the elf's remarks that day. "Fine! You're right. You're absolutely right."
With that, I turned on my heel, and stormed away along the balcony, without a backward glance. Not even a grateful smile to my new hobbit friend.
Of course, Tahadrial, with her long, lithe, elven legs, soon caught up to me as I trudged along the stone path.
"I wouldn't leave in such a hurry if I were you, Revel," she said in a sing-song voice. "Lady Lorienna wouldn't like the state you've left that poor dwarf in."
"What do you mean?" I said, harshly, rounding on her. "What have you done?"
"I haven't done anything," said Tahadrial innocently. "After all, I wasn't the one that was supposed to be checking on him, was I? That was your job."
There was something horrible about the way Tahadrial was looking at me, and I knew then that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
I had never run so fast in my life, as fast as I sprinted back down the stone path towards the cluster of golden houses.
"Get out of the way!" I shouted at a small group of child elves, who were gathered at the gates, obviously trying to catch a glimpse of the famous dwarf Company.
At the end of the balcony, I burst into Kili's room, and there was a strange stillness about the room that confirmed my suspicions that something was very, very wrong.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no," I moaned, hurrying over to the bed. The young, dark haired dwarf was flat on his back, eyes closed, mouth slightly apart, sweat glistening on his forehead. "Oh no," I moaned again as I tried to rouse him. "Kili...Kili...hello? Can you hear me? Kili, please!"
I rushed to the door, calling out. "Help! Help, oh please, help me!"
"What's the matter?" to my immense relief, Bilbo Baggins, the hobbit, suddenly appeared at the door. "What's happened? Everyone's having dinner in their-
"It's Kili," I said, desperately. "That foul elf, Tahadrial. She...Oh she's done something to Kili, and it's all my fault!"
"Calm down," said Bilbo. "Try to think clearly. Is he...is he...breathing?"
"Yes, yes," I said, breathing rapidly. "But he seems weak. And he's burning up terribly! Oh no, oh no, oh no..."
"Come on," said Bilbo, briskly. "Think, Revel. Think! You're a physician's apprentice. You must be able to do something."
I went back over to Kili, desperately trying to see what I could possibly do. As I leant down over him, something caught my eye on the table beside his bed. A fire was burning, as always, in the grate, and the firelight was caught flickering on something glass on the table. I snatched up the bottle. It was essence of nettle.
"It's essence of nettle!" I cried. "She's given him nettle poisoning!"
"Well then! What do we do now?" asked Bilbo, looking about the room as though expecting to find the answer on the ceiling.
"I don't know!" I cried, hysterically. "I don't know what to do! He needs elvish medicine. He needs an elf."
"No he doesn't," said Bilbo. "You know what to do, I know you do. Deep dig inside yourself. Revel in your imperfections, remember!"
I gazed into Bilbo's eyes; he was willing me to do something heroic, I knew he was, but I just couldn't think straight, and I was becoming increasingly aware of Kili's stilling body beside me.
Think, think, think. Nettle poisoning. Lady Lorienna had never really taught us anything about nettle poisoning before. Nettles had only ever been used to counteract the effects of-
"Rumex," I murmured. "Rumex, that's it! I need rumex leaves to counteract the nettles! It's a simple balancing equation, ha!" I laughed, elated. So much so, that I could have kissed Bilbo Baggins the little hobbit right there and then. But I didn't. Instead I sprinted out of the room, where rumex leaves were growing by the dozen in little bunches around the balcony. Grabbing a fistful, I crushed them in my hand, releasing their juices all over my fingers.
"Here," I breathed as I leant over the poor sick dwarf. "Here, just suck these, just a little...
I forced some of the rumex juices in to Kili's mouth, and let out a huge sigh of relief as the dwarf gave a great, shuddering breath, and stirred.
"Fee..." he croaked. "Fee..." What'
"What...what's he saying?" I asked Bilbo. The hobbit shrugged, still looking slightly stunned by the dramatic turn of events.
"Fee...lee...Fee...Fili..." Kili was speaking again, only this time, I knew what he was asking after.
"Fili!" I said, realisation dawning. "Yes, of course. Fili. Bilbo, could you...?"
"Yes! Yes, right," said the hobbit. "I'll just... I'll just go and get him."
"Oh, don't mention this to any of the others just yet?" I said. "I don't want any alarm."
"Of course not."
When the hobbit was gone, I tried to make sure that Kili was comfortable.
"How are you feeling?" I asked. "I'm sorry, it seems you had a terrible...turn, for the worse, that is. But I think you'll be on the mend now."
Kili gave a weak smile. "I haven't felt well for weeks," he admitted. "It's been tough...of course..."
Oh how I longed to ask questions of his journey! How I longed to hear of the thrilling battles he must have watched, the exciting landscapes he must have seen. But I knew it would not be neither kind nor helpful to the dwarf to push him to re-live his adventures.
"Revel, come quick!" Bilbo's urgent voice brought me running out on to the balcony.
"What's the matter?" I asked, but I was already pushing my way past into the adjacent bedroom to Kili's, and was not altogether shocked to discover Fili, lying flat out on his back, on top of his bedclothes.
It was immediately apparent to me, that this was not as serious as the scene I had walked in on in Kili's room. For one thing, Fili did not look at all unwell, and, for another thing, he was snoring loudly.
I walked swiftly over to him, and shook his shoulder roughly. He wriggled under my touch, but did not stir.
"I think he's probably been drugged with a sleeping draft," I concluded. "Tahadrial, of course, would not have wanted any witnesses to her crime. And Fili was with her when she was going over to check on Kili. She must have drugged him before going in and administering the poison." I was speaking more to myself than to anybody else, but Bilbo nodded along encouragingly.
"What should we do about Fili?" he asked, gesturing to the sleeping dwarf.
I hesitated. "Fetch me a glass of water, please," I asked, after a moment. "Cold water."
Bilbo busied himself over at the stone basin at the back of the room, filling up a glass tumbler and bringing it over to me. I took a sip to test it and then, after an infinitesimal hesitation, I threw it over the sleeping figure of Fili.
The dwarf shot upright, spluttering and suddenly very much awake.
"What in Durin's name...?" he cried, incredulously, looking from me to Bilbo, wiping water from his eyes.
"I'm sorry!" I cried. "I'm sorry but..." I dithered. I didn't want to worry Fili any more by telling him about Tahadrial's activities, and I really didn't like the idea of the story going around the group of dwarves. "But you fainted!" I said, suddenly. "Yes, that's right. You fainted and...and we've just been, uh, reviving you."
I looked to Bilbo, who nodded enthusiastically to confirm this tale of events.
"Oh," said Fili, after a while. "That's strange...I don't remember-
"Don't worry," I interrupted. "Slight amnesia is very common after a blow to the head. And you hit your head. As you hit the floor. You know. When you fainted."
"Right," Fili continued to look puzzled. "Well, thanks," he said.
"No problem," I said, brightly. "Now, I really ought to be off. Lady Lorienna will be wondering where I've got to. Bilbo...?" I gestured to the hobbit to accompany me out of Fili's room. I very much wanted a word with him.
"What happened to your...your elf, friend?" asked Fili, when I was halfway out the door. "She said that she felt unwell, and that you would go to look in on Kili after all. I hope she's alright."
I couldn't bring myself to look at Fili as I answered. "She's fine," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "She's fine...and so is Kili. I think he's recovering well."
At the golden gates, I turned to Bilbo. "I must take you in to my confidence," I said to the hobbit. "And ask you to keep what has happened this afternoon to yourself. I don't wish to cause unnecessary alarm."
Bilbo nodded. "Of course," he said. "I understand...Though, I hope you're going to report this to your boss. The physician. That elf nearly killed somebody!"
"Nettle poisoning wouldn't kill," I muttered. "And it wouldn't make any difference if I told Lady Lorienna or not; she would never believe me against Tahadrial."
"Well I'd speak up for you! As a witness and all that."
"No," I said, quickly. "It's really not worth it. Really."
Bilbo looked doubtful. "Alright," he said, slowly. "Alright."
I smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you," I said. "You know, I've never met a hobbit before, but I certainly am very glad to have met you."
"And I you!" said Bilbo jovially. "And Revel, for what it's worth, I think you'll make a fine physician one day."
