I am tormented. Torn between a desire to make Bella mine and to save her from certain death. Either way I no longer have the strength to stay away from her. Earlier, I heard her name in the mind of one of her friends. They planned a trip to Port Angeles to shop for prom dresses. I imagined them walking along the dark streets, unaware of the dangers which lurk around every corner, of the dark thoughts in the minds of those who dwell there. I have to make sure she's OK, so I follow. As I drive I think of Mabel. Even after I saved her that night, she refused to be accompanied after dark, too proud, too stubborn to preserve her life. He came for her. The man I saved her from that first night, he came back for her, only this time he was ten times as powerful, ten times as dangerous. It never occurred to me that night that I drained him and tossed him aside that I had made him vampire. I was too eager to get to Mabel, too curious to find out why she reminded me so much of Isabella. I should have watched the light leave his eyes, waited until I felt his heart still. I got what I wanted in the end, but not before he took Mabel from me.

As I round the corner of the nearest street, I see her. She heads into the old bookshop on the corner. I keep my face in the shadows. I don't want her to see me. She won't understand why I followed her, why I'm so afraid for her. When she appears back on the street, the moonlight makes her hair shine like silver and it illuminates her pale face. I wait for her to disappear into the next street before I start the engine. I know she's meeting her friends at a nearby restaurant, I heard it in their thoughts. I know the place and I'm just about to go there when I hear him, his thoughts pouring from his mind. Then I realise there's more than one. A group of men all thinking the same dark thoughts, all picturing the same dark haired girl with the pale face. I grit my teeth and I slam my foot on to the accelerator. I speed along the narrow streets until I find them. One of them has his hands on her, he'll be the first to die. She looks stunned when I spring from the car. I tell her to get in and she scrambles into the passenger seat without hesitation. I advance on the group. They try to look intimidating at first, puffing out their chests. They obviously believe they have the advantage because I'm alone. How wrong they are. I snarl under my breath and they take a step back. I want to tear them all limb from limb, but I think of Mabel's attacker. Can I trust that they would all die? That they won't come back? I turn on my heel and get back in the car, willing myself to drive away.

"Distract me so I don't turn around."

Bella looks shocked by my distress, she tells me to put my seatbelt on. I laugh at this and it's almost manic. I need to calm down. I ease my foot off the accelerator. She's safe, for now. I hear the growl of her stomach and I remember that she was on her way to dinner. I had planned on taking her home to her Father. She might want to report the incident, but that might raise questions about why I happened to be nearby. I look at her. Her face is composed and she shows no signs of wanting to go home, so I take the next left to the restaurant.

Her friends are already leaving as we reach the front door. I offer to make sure Bella has dinner and then drive her home after. They look uncertain and I hear their thoughts – worry, curiosity, envy. I smile and they seem to relax a little as they say their goodbyes.

Inside, I try to drown out the thoughts of everyone around us, but in the crowded restaurant, their minds are deafening. The waitress finds us a table in the corner. As Bella sits down, I scan her face for any sign of trepidation. She's a little anxious, uncertain, but she isn't afraid of me. As we talk I let slip about my mind reading ability. She doesn't seem surprised. Just like Mabel, she's curious, it doesn't matter to her that I'm different. Deep down she knows what I am because she has known me before. I want this evening to last forever so we can stay in this moment, this calm before the storm. When I take her home later that night, my heart is heavy.

It doesn't take long for the penny to drop. The next day at school, Bella walks straight past me out of the school grounds. She barely looks at me, but the flash of her eyes tells me I should follow. I wonder what her reaction will be. Last night on the way home from Port Angeles, our hands brushed and she had gasped when she felt the chill of my skin. Just like Mabel, she said nothing.

Bella heads towards the forest and she stops in the shade of the trees.

"You're impossibly fast and strong. You skin is pale white and ice cold…"

I listen as she lists my unusual traits. As she lists all of the things that make me different from her. All of the reasons why we can't be together. I wonder what Isabella would have made of me if she met me after I was turned. Would we have still fallen in love? I wouldn't have met her on the river that day, that's for sure. Not with the sun illuminating my shimmering skin, the skin of a killer. Because that's what I am. I have inadvertently caused the death of every reincarnation of Isabella and Bella will be no different. My still heart feels like it's breaking all over again. I watched as Isabella died, powerless to save her and now she haunts me. Her soul drifting from body to body, each suffering a similar fate.

"I know what you are."

I look at Bella as the word hovers on her lips. Maybe Bella will make the decision for me, maybe she will be strong enough to stay away from me now that she knows what I am. Mabel never said the word. She realised what I was much quicker than Bella and yet we never talked about it, at least not like this.

"Say it. Out loud."

She hesitates for a moment, like she's contemplating whether or not to say it, because once it's out there, she can't take it back. Everything will change.

"Vampire."

"Are you afraid?"

"No."

I believe her. Even though I can't hear her thoughts, she has that same stubborn look as Mabel and Isabella. Defiant in the face of danger. I have to warn her off. The wind fans her hair around her face and her scent catches in my throat. It's intoxicating. I can't think clearly, I want to hold her, taste her blood and run from her all at once. I feel out of control, she has to stay away from me. She has to know the danger she is in, but she has to make the decision herself. I don't trust myself to do the right thing.

"Ask yourself the most basic question. What do we eat."

It's a bluff. I would never hurt her like that, but I want her to be afraid of me so that she leaves me, so that she escapes the inevitable. I take her arm and lead her up into the mountain. The clouds part and I feel the warmth of the sun as it casts its rays across my face. Bella's mouth falls open in surprise.

"It's like diamonds."

"It's the skin of a killer, Bella."

She is still not afraid and I wonder if I'm purposely showing her the more romantic notion of being a vampire. I could have shown her how I hunt and slaughter the animals in the forest, but instead I am showing her the shimmer of my vampiric skin. I remember the first time Mabel saw me in the sunlight. She described my skin as being like the sparkle of the sun on the river. The river made me think of Isabella. When we stole some time alone together, we would sit on the river bank and watch the sun set. I loved to watch the sunlight illuminate her face. She would take my hand in hers and whisper that she loved me. Now she's standing before me once again, reincarnated and I imagine her whispering those words to me again. Something inside of me breaks. I have nothing left, no way to stop her from getting too close. I want her. She leans back against the rocky wall of the mountain and I lean towards her.

"So the lion fell in love with the lamb."

"What a stupid lamb."

"What a sick masochistic lion."