Heya,
I'm so sorry about the wait for this instalment but things have been really busy but I managed to get this done for you with a little help from a great friend of mine.
I will definitely be writing some more with this friend of mine as she is super fun to write with and really good at spotting my mistakes- a big thanks Emmy xxx
I really hope you guys enjoy this little instalment. It's been great fun to write and has some of our beloved Swan Queen to be found near the end.
Once more, I love each review and some of the ideas I've been given are great. Keep 'em comin'xxx
I DO NOT OWN OUAT OR ANY OF THE CHARECTERS. If I did I would defo be nicer to poor Gina!
Enjoy my lovelies x
madhattiexxx
CHAPTER 3- AM I READY TO LOVE YOU?
A soft whimpering awoke Emma from her dreams. The blonde looked groggily at her clock to find that it was only half past two- in the morning!
A tired and confused saviour dragged herself out of bed; was something wrong with one of her parents? When the blonde peered through the crack in the door she saw two, very much asleep, parents lying in a soundless embrace.
Emma was confused about where the noise was coming from before she remembered that Regina had allowed Henry to stay the night in the charming apartment. The blonde rushed, maintaining her soft footsteps, over to her son's room.
The blonde knocked lightly on the door, so as not to wake up her parents. After hearing a sniffle, which Emma counted as permission to enter, she tiptoed quietly to stand beside her kid who was shaking terribly, curled up in his bed sheets.
The saviour placed a single, comforting arm around her child whilst flicking on the switch to his new lampshade. The boy's trembling began to subside and his heart rate steadied.
"Hey, kiddo- What's wrong? It's just a dream sweetie, it's not real."
This is where having Regina around would have been helpful - she had no experience in comforting children. There was only ever one child she had comforted in her first actual home before she was carted of to the next. The only thing that she could remember was singing to her adoptive sister and Henry was much too old for that.
"But Mom, it's not a dream! It's just like the story, everything is REAL and I'm part of it. My mum is the saviour and the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. I always thought that we would be okay but now I know that not every hero gets to win."
Emma immediately knew what Henry was talking about, he had been dreaming about Neal- his father.
The same thoughts haunted Emma each night, but seeing her kid like this made her feel so guilty for just assuming he would be fine. She had always known he was a strong kid but how could she think that he would just get over something like this when Emma was still struggling herself. Henry had been the one to keep Emma sane; he always the one letting her know that everything would be okay. She then knew that she had to be there for Henry now, to tell him that everything would be okay- even if she didn't quite believe it yet. If she couldn't get Henry - the Truest Believer - to realise that things can turn out okay, then how could anybody else have hope.
"It'll be okay kid I still miss him to. We will get through this."
Tears of pain and angst threatened to escape Emma's eyes- but Regina, or no Regina, Emma knew that Henry needed her right now- he needed a mother who would understand. And that's what Emma was planning on being.
Seeing how upset Henry - her child - was, brought out Emma's mothering instincts and she pulled him towards her in a comforting hug.
"No matter what happen, we both know that good always wins, even when you think you've lost - Neal will always be with us. He isn't dead to me- not quite yet."
The blonde refusing to let go of her now weeping son, lay down next to him in his double bed and hummed 'Heigh-Ho' to her son till he fell asleep, her favourite song as child.
When Emma was sure that the small child was sleeping, she finally allowed silent tears spill down her cheeks. her sobs muffled in the brown locks of the tired boy's hair.
The next morning Emma woke up feeling tired and grumpy. She looked around her before realising that she wasn't in her own room, however she was certain that she was in her own house.
Was this just a dream?
No-she began to recall memories of the last night.
"Henry, wake up. It's okay- it's just me"
She reaches out an arm to shake her son but is astounded to find that her arm is grasping at empty space. Henry was never one to get up this early.
Maybe his other mother had started to rub off on him. The blonde woman walked down the stairs to make herself and Henry some bacon with pancakes to find that Henry wasn't here either.
Emma thought about trying to get hold of the boy; she whipped out her phone ready to dial the number before realising that Regina wouldn't let him have one.
I knew that we should have bought him his own phone, thought Emma as she punched in Regina's cell number.
"Hey Regina, it's me. I was just calling to check if you had Henry with you- he disappeared after our conversation last night….
...I know I'm so sorry Gina; he got really upset and maybe didn't quite get what I meant...
...Nothing I was just trying to comfort him he was…
...Neal- he was upset about his father dying…
...I know Gina- so do you have him with you or not…
...NO- that's why I called you, right let me know if he turns up I'm going looking for him." She hung up and leant her head against the wall, sighing deeply. The stress was finally catching up to Emma and she knew in her head that Henry need her to be calm and collected by the time she got to home.
Knowing exactly where she would find her son, Emma grabbed her keys of the counter rushing off towards the woods.
Luckily for Emma, she never changed out of her jeans and tee-shirt last night, so she was decent. As the blonde drove down the twisty roads, all that she could think of was whether Henry was okay alone in the forest. She was scared for him, he was only young and had been through a lot in his life. Emma had no clue why Henry would run of into the woods by himself but her maternal instincts made her certain that she would find him here.
As the looming trees drew closer, the small yellow beetle that the saviour drove started to slow for the car was heavy under the light wooden planks of the Toll Bridge. Glistening stars began to fade as dawn passed and the morning drew closer. At this moment Mary Margaret's name flashed onto the screen of her cell phone; Emma clicked the answer button knowing how worried she obviously was at that minute.
"Mum, hey…
Yes I'm fine…
No, he's not with me but I know where he is and I'm on my way to get him…
Sorry- I know I should have let you know but I was just in a bit of a hurry…
Yes, I'll call you as soon as i get to him- Bye!"
Emma hugged the phone tight to her chest letting salty tears fall freely; Emma almost forgot where she was and what she was doing until she heard a shrill scream.
"NOOO- Don't hit me!"
Emma veered to the side in panic after seeing the pale child in clear view from her headlights. She hastily unbuckled her seat belt trying to steady her breath. The saviour sprinted like an athlete toward the child lying curled up scared on the dusty path. All of a sudden Emma knew exactly where she was and felt a soft tug at her heart, noticing how hard it was to breathe when you were standing in the same place that your loved one died.
"Henry- are you okay? you had me worried sick about you, what the hell were you thinking?"
Emma hadn't meant to sound quite so harsh but she was just so emotional- she was terrified, angry and just so hurt all at once. Emma could hardly believe that she was still standing there strong enough to face her son. After seeing the kids face- so covered in fear and pain, she let her anger subside and tried for a gentle smile.
The blonde hugged her child never wanting to let go, she knew that she would have to let Regina and her parents know that they were both okay and safe, but she just wasn't ready to let the comfort and safety of the boy end.
"I'm so sorry Mom. I just wanted to talk to him one more time, I just wanted to let him know that it was safe for him to come out of hiding and talk to me."
Emma was confused, she sat up and looked her son in the eye- he truly thought that his father was still alive. How could he think that hadn't she made it clear? He thought Neal was dead last night- what changed?
Then it dawned upon Emma and she knew that this was entirely her fault. she had led her son to believe that his dead father was still alive and in hiding from Zelena.
She pressed a soft kiss on the cheek of the boy, informing him that she had a few calls to make but would be back to talk in a second.
Henry walked silently to the car and found his seat with a look of defeat and fatigue washing over him. Emma was way out of her league here; she was in way too deep and had no idea how to save herself. the blonde walked wearily another two minutes into the woods to ensure that the boy was out of earshot before calling her mother to let her know that they were okay. When she asked her mother about how to handle Henry, all she would tell her was that when she was standing there she would know exactly what to do.
Emma found this hard to believe as she was standing there, right in front of him, just two minutes ago and she had no idea how to handle a situation like this. Emma didn't understand what Henry was thinking and how he would react to anything. When she was upset all she would show was anger and the boy sure as hell wasn't showing the same front that her teenage-self did.
Emma dialled Regina's number knowing that she would be scared sick; the woman loved nothing more than she loved that child and god knows what would happen to her if anything had happened to Henry.
"Regina, it's me. I'm with Henry, we're both safe. We are in the woods just of Toll Bridge."
"Oh thank god you're both okay. What an earth took you so long Miss Swan? I was worried out of my mind."
Emma began to massage her temples unsure of how to ask the former queen for parenting advice. However, knowing that her kid's happiness was at stake, Emma would do anything.
"Look, I'm with him and he's fine- well sort of."
"What do you mean sort of? What happened? Please Miss Swan I need to know."
"He, ummm. Last night, I walked into his room late, to find him upset about Neal so we talked and I fear he didn't quite understand what I meant."
"How so?"
"He thinks that Neal's alive and in hiding from Zelena."
Emma didn't bother to hide the wobble in her voice as she spoke the last words. The blonde so wished that what Henry was saying was true but knew better. She watched him die in her arms.
"Miss Swan, are you crying?"
"I can't do this Regina. I can't tell him again- the first time was hard enough. I'm the one who gave him this hope I can't take it back again. I'm not cut out for this- how on earth do you do this every day?"
Emma was sobbing now, letting words fall free from her mouth as she begged for comfort and for help.
"Emma, I… I don't know what to say. Henry needs to know the truth and it needs to be from somebody he loves. Can you not drive him back and get Mary Margaret to talk to him?"
"I can't let our son see me like this- he'll want me to talk about this and I'm not ready. Can you come down here? Please Regina."
Emma was now lying curled up in a ball against the nearest tree.
Why couldn't she handle things like Regina?
Why couldn't she be the one to stay in control for her son?
The saviour's lungs tightened, she was cold, upset and tired. She was in no state to take care of a grieving child- she feared she never would be.
"Please"
A last silent beg escaped the blonde's lips before her phone died; she cursed loudly screaming and crying until her throat was raw and sore. Even then the saviour lay there out of energy hating herself and sobbing every tear she could conjure.
"Shhhh, it's okay. I'm here now- I've got you."
The blonde collapsed gratefully into the brunette's open arms. Had she passed out? All she knew was that she was in the forest with Regina Mills crying harder than she had ever before.
Emma opened her mouth to talk but was hyperventilating so much that she couldn't get the words out to form a sentence.
"Hey, hey. It's all going to be okay now. I'm here now- I've got you."
Regina pulled her in so close to her chest that Emma could smell her expensive perfume with traces of her sweet sweat. Emma could feel each teach teardrop that rolled down from her face running down the mayor's ample bosoms. The silk shirt covering the woman, stuck to her neck; she didn't care, she just kept hugging the weeping saviour.
The blonde moved her head so she could look into the eyes of her friend.
"Why?"
The single word- though tearful, was inquisitive and full of honesty.
The blonde needed to know why the mayor was doing this for her. The brunette owed her nothing yet gave her everything- this was the true Regina that she had fallen in love with. She had seen this Regina little but was hopeful she would see more as there was no one else she wanted to comfort her more right now.
"Can you stand?"
The saviour nodded weakly, wondering why the brunette dodged her question.
"Okay good. Lean on me- I'll walk you to my car."
Emma said not a word but stood up leaning heavily on the older woman, trying to stifle her sniffles so that she didn't irritate the mayor.
"It's okay Emma. You're allowed to be upset- you're obviously grieving and you can cry as much as you need to. Emma, if you ever need to talk- I'm here. You don't need to do this to yourself; it can be okay for you to open up to somebody."
Regina's words were so kind, a fresh batch of tears began to well in her eyes as she was guided toward the Mercedes.
When Emma was sat in the car she found it increasingly hard not to fall asleep. Regina rubbed the muddy jean concealing her leg as if to let her know that it was okay for her to fall asleep.
"Where's Henry"
Emma's fatigue made the words sound muffled and slurred but she knew her mind wouldn't rest until she knew her son was safe.
"He's fine Emma. I took him home in your car after explaining a few things to him. He understands everything he needs to and is at home talking with Snow. I came back to find you straight after and then after a few hours you came to."
The blonde immediately felt guilty for making her wait for hours- she really did like this genuine and kind Regina. The real Regina.
"Thanks- for everything. I just… I don't think that I can take all their questions right now."
Emma truly couldn't deal with Henry's questions, her mother's worried comments and David's pitiful glances.
"I didn't think that you'd quite be up to it, so I told them that you'd stay at my house for a few days. I mean only if you want to?"
Emma nodded in silent gratitude.
"Right then, get some rest. I'll wake you when we arrive."
Emma attempted a half-hearted smile before she felt her body unwind to the low rumble of the car tires. The saviour felt each eyelid shut and she drifted off into a deep sleep.
