Now ch. 3. PLEASE R&R. I need more reviews. I also need more chapters, but that's okay.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: (READ THIS) Sorry if this doesn't make sense, writing little parts at various time of the month (yeah I know it's taken sooooo long) and it might not make sense (did I already say that?) but that is alright.
Guess what? I HAVE DISCOVERED THE PARENTHESES. (can ya tell) and all I can say is……….. TEEE HEEE!!!!
No, I have not had 2 much sugar, I'm just SPECIAL!!!!!!!!! *Flings arms in air and then suddenly falls off a cliff (but not for long, but not for long)*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Disclaimer: the peoples aren't mine, except Amber, and the setting isn't mine and the world isn't mine. BUT IT SHALL SOON BE!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA*laughter of a maniac (me)*
~*~*~*= change of scene or something like that
(…)= author's note ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Amber slowly turned her head around to look at the door, and gasped at the horrendous looking thing that had just entered the hall.
#^`Long moment of silence as everyone turns their heads around and look`^#
The creature opened its mouth and said…. "Old Tom Bombadil was a merry fellow. Bright blue was his jacket; his boots were yellow."
Aragorn, who was just standing there after his toast had been interrupted, dropped his cup. The crystal cup fell to the floor and broke into a million sparkling piece, splashing wine all over the floor. The wine immediately got up and ran away to the depths of Moria.
After gawking stupidly at the shattered wine glass, for about five minute, to see if it too would get up and run off, the guests slowly regained their wits. Aragorn rose to greet Bombadil and Goldberry, who had arrived just after Bombadil. And after a round of toasts to the Fellowship and the royalty, the feasting began.
Gandalf had resumed his hovering position, covered in icing and crystallized flowers, and was attempting to get food without losing his dignity, which is hard to do as you are floating four feet above everyone else and unable to reach the food.
The elves and dwarves were currently having a great time yelling insults at each other and throwing things at each other. It was on the verge of becoming a food fight and Gimli and Legolas were looking at each other worriedly while playing footsy under the table.
Amber anxiously looked for something that could distract the two groups from starting a fight, but it was too late, several elves and dwarves had already started bashing each other on the head with metal platters and the rest were throwing large chunks of food. The hobbits, extremely outraged at this waste of food, scrambled around trying to save whatever pieces of food they could get their hands on.
Looking around for the king, who was the only one who could stop this madness, Amber noticed that Aragorn and Arwen's chairs were empty. (*cough*cough*)
Soon, despite their loud protests, Gimli and Legolas were dragged into the fight too and quickly became covered with food scraps. Pretending to stab Legolas with a knife, Gimli muttered in a stage whisper, "We will settle this somewhere else." They moved to the side of the room and started getting it on behind a sofa.
Noticing this inappropriate behavior, the two groups stopped their fighting and walked over to the sofa and glared at it. After a while, a disheveled Legolas and Gimli, who is always disheveled, appeared. Elrond, the Lord of Rivendell and bustiness, and who had bread crumbs in his knotted hair (Can you not guess my opinion of Elrond?) coughed for attention and was granted instant silence as everyone thought he was about to make one of his amazing speeches (Yeah, right).
He stood in front Legolas and stated, "Legolas, this sort of behavior in unacceptable for an elf of your status, as it is for any elf at all. And in punishment for even thinking, if yet not doing, of such a horrid deed, we, the elves, denounce you forever. You are no longer a part of the elves of Middle Earth; all of you titles will be taken away. No door at Lothlorien, Rivendell, or even Mirkwood is, and ever shall be open to you. As of now, you are an outcast, unwanted. Do you understand?" Elrond finished his speech, looking as grand and busty as ever. Legolas, frightened by the angry elf lord, stammered a short 'yes'.
While everyone else was standing there amazed at the fabulous speech, Elrond whispered to Legolas, "But if you ever get lonely, just remember, I am always there and willing."
Gloin (whose name sounds a lot like groin) stood there and glared at Elrond, knowing he would have to outdo him. Gloin puffed his chest up to try and look taller, and opened his mouth and coughed up a hairball (HAIRY DWARVES!!). Trying again, he said, "Gimli, you have done a terrible thing. But since we are much more merciful than *some* persons, we will not condemn you or throw you out. However, you must know that you are now looked down upon for such misbehavior." At this point, all the dwarves glowered at Gimli to show their disapproval. "That is all I have to say."
Though he had not the eloquent speech of Elrond, the glowering look on the dwarves' glowering faces was enough to make everyone at the feast feel guilty and ashamed. Gimli turned a vivid shade of red and hung his head in shame. For, as you might know, the glowering of the dwarves is so powerful as to make even the guiltiest feel ten times as guilty. Every dwarf present at the feast turned and glared at Gimli so that he cowered, shaking with ashamedness on the floor. Oh, the dwarves glowered ever so hard (can you not tell by now they were glowering really hard?) they even made themselves feel ashamed. So they stopped.
The people in the room returned to their previous activities, after a long pause, and soon everyone was done with their dinner, or what was left of it, and moved to the dance floor. Bombadil went around and started making up poems for everyone, as an attempt to cheer everyone up. Somehow, it had the opposite effect.
Walking up cheerfully to Gandalf, he recited, singing and attempting the chicken dance, "Oh, a wizened wizard, who be ever so old, yet the bravest of all ever so bold! Hi ho, hiddly do! His magical powers are so very strong, and his lice ridden beard so very long! Do derry, I love Goldberry! He wears a cloth that is glaring white, he is good and evil he'll smite! Ta ra, fiddly da! He carries a knotted staff, and laughed a ragged laugh! Gee maw, smikledee haw! Wandering the land with…."
By now, Gandalf started to turn red in the face and looked ready to beat Bombadil to a pulp with his staff. And so he did.
Recovering very quickly from his beating from an angry wizard with a stick, Bombadil got up and looked for another victim for his poems.
Noticing this finally, Aragorn, the peace-loving king (who only led a few dozen battles), came and tried to stop Bombadil from getting himself killed, because many at the feast looked ready to do more than beat the crap out of him. "Bombadil," he started.
"Ah, Lord Aragorn, would thou like to have a poem made? I think I am on a roll. I could make you a very special one," he said in a singsong voice.
"Um, no thank you," Aragorn shifted uncomfortably at the hurt look on Bombadil's face, "actually, I was thinking that you should probably do something other than poems."
"Oh, but I don't know anything other than…Wait! I know! I can sing a song!"
"Uh, I guess that'd be better," Aragorn muttered, wondering what he had got himself into as he walked away to find Arwen.
Beaming like a five year old who had just found a jellybean underneath the couch (don't ask, I have no clue either), Bombadil walked onto the stage, shoving the band off. He cleared his throat loudly and announced, "By the request of the king," Everyone turned and glared at Aragorn. "I am going to sing a song."
"Sadly enough, I do not know many songs, but this, my friends, is one of my favorites and I wish to share it with you."
He took a deep breath and started,
"I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.
I work all night and I work all day…"
Then he progressed to sing the whole lumberjack song, much to the horror, or delight, or everyone.
After thinking about it for a long time, Gimli suddenly realized that the song was not that hard to sing, so he decided to give it a try.
Humming softly he sang, "I'm a hairy dwarf, and I'm kinda gay.
I mine all night and sleep with Legolas all day. Hey, this is really easy!"
So Gimli got up on stage, after many attempts at shoving Bombadil off, and sang his own version of the song. Which, of course, made everyone else want to sing a song also.
Meanwhile, Aragorn, Eomer, Faramir, and many others who did not wish to sing songs about cross dressing, for fear of revealing their deepest secrets, went and drank wine. And beer. And rum. And then some more alcohol. So they got kind of drunk.
Eowyn, walking over to get a drink and save herself from singing mindless songs, looked at Aragorn (I mean, don't we all want to look at dark, tall, handsome kings) and noticed that he had a sword. A very large, sharp, shiny sword with a long legacy and a special name. And that sword, my friends, was Anduril, legendary 'sword that was broken and reforged'. Known to all as one of Middle-Earth's greatest, and most famous, weapons. And Eowyn knew, she just knew, that she had to have that sword. I mean, who wouldn't want a famous, shiny sword with its own special legendary name?
So Eowyn slowly sidled over to Aragorn, who was sitting on the sofa and getting drunk. Batting her eyelashes, she sat down in Aragorn's lap and smiled enticingly at him. In a low whisper, she muttered, "Aragorn, oh, you are just too sexy. In fact, you are too sexy for your sword," she murmured, eyeing Anduril. Aragorn, who was now very drunk and (as always) had sex on his mind, thought she was talking about his other sword (*cough*cough* Hello? Think about it!) and grinned drunkenly. Arwen, who was also fairly drunk and also thought she was talking about Aragorn's other sword, defensively said, "No he's not, I happen to—Hey! What do you know about his sword!?!" Arwen glared angrily at Eowyn, who was still eyeing Anduril. Aragorn, feeling happy because he thought that he was loved by two girls, just sat back and grinned.
Suddenly, with the grace and agility of a warrior maiden, Eowyn reached down, grabbed Aragorn's legendary sword, and ran off into the crowd that was still singing variations of the lumberjack song. And still, Aragorn just sat back, and grinned.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: k, that's ch. 3. how do ya like it? If u liked it, please click on the gray button and review. If you didn't like it, please click on the little gray button and review. If you hated it and think that I should burn in the depths of hell (oh, sounds like fun), please click on the little gray button below and review.
