So, it's been awhile huh? I don't want to give up on this fic because I'm having a good time with these characters and their secrets from each other. Looking at the ideas I have for this fic I should have titled it Sercrets instead of Apologies. Meh... So this chapter is a little short, but I guess it's better than nothing right? I wanted to write more, but I thought this was a good place to end this part.
I'm REALLY sorry about the crappy updating that I've been doing *cough*none*cough*. I'm trying not to give up on this fic, even though I'm upset at the current status of the show I once loved and adored. But just bear with me a bit. I can't promise frequent updates, but I can promise you that I WILL finish this fic! Thanks again for sticking with me. And to ease everyone's mind, it WILL end in happily for all my couples, even though right now it seems like there's no returning from the dark side. With that said, things are going to get pretty bad before they get any worse. Haley HAS been keeping Nathan's son from him!
Chapter Three: Life Happened
Haley heard a knock at her door. She contemplated whether or not she should open the door because she wasn't expecting anyone and really wasn't up for visitors. She definitely wasn't prepared to see Brooke Davis through the peephole.
It had been two days since Haley returned to Tree Hill and this had been the first time she had seen anyone other than Lucas and Nathan.
"Hey Haley," Brooke greeted when Haley opened the door.
"Brooke," Haley said in surprise. "Um… what are you – what are you doing here?"
"I thought maybe we should talk."
Haley stood in the doorway dumbfounded. She made no move to let Brooke in, but a moment later what Brooke said registered in her brain and she stepped aside to let her in. "Sorry," Haley apologized as she led Brooke into the living room.
"So," Haley began.
Brooke laughed nervously. "This is really awkward."
"Yeah, it is," Haley said, laughing alone with her.
"It shouldn't be right?" Brooke asked. "We used to hang out. We were pretty good friends."
Haley shrugged her shoulders. "Things change." Looking at Brooke, noticing that her friend wasn't the same person from high school, she couldn't help but realize how true those words rang. Brooke used to be this bubbly girl who was so full of life and energy. She was the epitome of a cheerleader, but the woman in her living room wasn't Brooke. No, the woman in her living room was a calmer version, almost sad version of her old friend. Her eyes gave her away.
"I just want to say I'm sorry… for everything. Things could have been different, you know?"
Haley sighed. Things could have been different, but then where would they all be? She couldn't deny that having their close group of friends would have been great, but what would have become of her and Anthony? She loved her husband, she still did, but would there have been a Haley and Anthony if she told Nathan from the beginning about Junior? "It could have. But I can't regret the past 16 years. I got 16 years of blissful marriage to a guy I loved, and that's more than most people. I guess you have to take the good with the bad."
"You really loved him huh?" Brooke asked wistfully.
"I did. I do still love him. It started out as friends, but it grew into something so beautiful."
"Then I'm glad for you," Brooke said sincerely.
"Thank you," Haley said. "And I get why you were so angry at first, with me and Anthony. We both understood."
Brooke shook her head. "I don't think you guys did. Do you want to know one of the best kept secrets of our group?"
'Junior is Nathan's son?' Haley imagined saying, but instead nodded her head, urging Brooke to go on.
"Nathan and I have known each other since birth. Long before there was a Brooke and Peyton, or a Nathan and Anthony, and probably even before a Lucas and Haley, there was a Brooke and Nathan."
"Really?" Haley asked shocked. "You and Nathan?"
Brooke nodded. "I guess it came with having parents that attend the same country club. At one point, I think when we were about 13, we had an arranged marriage."
Haley tried to imagine what it would have been like if Brooke and Nathan ended up together, but every time she tried, she would always imagine one killing the other. "But… ever since elementary, you guys have been at each other's throats!"
Brooke chuckled at the memories of all the times her and Nathan have butted heads over everything and anything. "How's your relationship with your brothers and sisters?"
"Well when we're not fighting we're either sleeping - " Realization dawned on Haley and she smiled at Brooke. "You were like brother and sister."
"Yeah. We grew up together. And when you hurt him… I just, I've never seen him so broken. It almost killed him Haley."
Tears sprang to Haley's eyes. She never meant to hurt Nathan. "And you knew what it felt like," Haley finished.
Brooke nodded her head with tears in her eyes. "It rips your soul out Haley. Not because the person you love hurt you, but because your best friend does."
"Oh Brooke," Haley said sympathetically. Was this the reason Brooke was so sad? Because she never truly let go of the hurt Peyton and Lucas caused her in high school?
Brooke shook her head smiling through her tears. She didn't want the sympathy. It happened, it sucked, but they've all moved on… sorta. "We should just leave the past where it is, and just look to the future."
"Yeah?" Haley asked. Her only wish was that Anthony was still alive to be apart of that future.
"With Anthony gone, it just makes you realize some things aren't worth holding on to. Like anger," Brooke explained.
Haley pulled Brooke into her arms and held on tight. "I've missed you Tigger," she whispered into her ear.
"I've missed you too Tu - Haley," Brooke said correcting herself. "And if you need anything, I'll be here for you."
"Thank you," Haley replied. She gave Brooke one last squeeze before she let her go. "So, you and Lucas have been together for a long time."
"Yup. Eight years now."
"Married eight years huh? How are you liking it?"
"Um… no, we've been dating for eight years. We're not um… married," Brooke said uncomfortably.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed since… you guys were um… dating at the end of high school," Haley replied equally uncomfortably.
"High school relationships don't last long Haley. You should know that."
"But you guys are still together," Haley countered.
"We're not the same people from high school. Not anymore," Brooke said. As soon as the words were out of her mouth she remembered the moment everything started to change.
*Flashback*
"I have to tell you something," Peyton said to Brooke. It was just before winter break of their sophomore year and Brooke and Peyton were roommates.
Brooke had just come back from a date with Lucas and was on cloud nine. They talked about the future, more importantly, their future together. "What's up P. Sawyer?" Brooke asked, happily skipping to Peyton's bed and taking a seat beside her.
Peyton grabbed Brooke's hands in her won and said, "You're my best friend Brooke. You know that right?"
"Yeah," Brooke replied slowly. "You're my best friend too."
"And I'm so glad that we got over the… thing… from high school and are finally in a good place. I want to be honest with you."
"Okaaay," Brooke said, wondering what had Peyton so spooked.
"I'm still in love with Lucas," Peyton whispered.
Brooke let go of Peyton's hands and started pacing. "I don't think I heard you right. I thought I heard you say you were in love with my boyfriend. But I must have heard you wrong, right? Because my best friend would never be in love with my boyfriend."
"I'm sorry Brooke," Peyton said sincerely.
"You're sorry?" Brooke parroted. "God Peyton! I thought you were done being a backstabbing two faced bitch!"
"I'm no backstabbing you, I swear! I'm not going after Lucas," Peyton promised.
"No?" Brooke asked not believing her. "Then why did you tell me you're still in love with him?"
"I just wanted to be a good friend and be honest with you!"
Brooke glared at Peyton. "You're not a good friend Peyton. A good friend wouldn't go after her best friend's boyfriend… TWICE!"
"I'm not going after him Brooke. I promise!" By now Peyton was fully crying and all Brooke wanted to do was slap her. But she wouldn't. She just had to get out of there.
"Right. Like you didn't go after him the last time." Brooke walked out of the room and slammed the door behind her. She didn't know where to go so she ran to her car.
When she got to her car she broke down. She cried because once again her best friend hurt her. It wasn't even about Lucas anymore. It was about her friendship not meaning as much to Peyton as it did to her.
Brooke slammed her palms on the steering wheel in frustration. She had to go see Nathan so she started her car and made her way to Duke.
By the time she got there it was 10 at night. She called Nathan from outside his building and a second later he appeared in his shorts and t-shirt to let her in. He noticed the tear tracks on her face but didn't say anything.
When they got to his room he sat her on his bed, grabbed his desk char and sat in front of her. "What's wrong Brooke," Nathan asked concerned.
"I had a date with Lucas. We talked about the future. He said that he pictured us married with three kids. We were living in Tree Hill," Brooke said stoically. "I pictured it too."
"Then what's wrong?" Nathan asked using the pads of his thumbs to wipe away the tears that had fallen from her eyes.
"I went home after that and Peyton told me she's still in love with Lucas," Brooke explained. "Why is she doing this Nathan? Again? Why now?"
Nathan sighed sympathetically. "I don't know Brooke. I really don't know. But what I do know is how much Lucas is in love with you. He loves you Brooke. So much. Not Peyton."
"Really?" Brooke asked.
"I promise," Nathan said reassuringly. "Lucas loves you. Peyton being in love with Lucas doesn't change his feelings for you."
'Except it changes everything', Brooke thought. She gave Nathan a hug to thank him for the pep talk. He always knew what to say to make her feel better. "Thanks Nate."
"Anytime. It's getting pretty late and I don't want you driving at night. You can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep in Josh's," he said referring to his absent roommate.
*End Flashback*
"Brooke?" Haley said shaking Brooke out of her memory. "You alright? You kinda spaced out there for a minute."
Brooke flashed Haley a small smile. "Just remembering college."
"How was UNC?" Haley asked.
"I went to UNC for two years. I transferred to a fashion school in New York junior year," Brooke explained and was instantly transported back to the day she found out about an amazing offer for an internship.
*Flashback*
It'd been months since Peyton confessed that she was still in love with Lucas. They talked things over, with many tears, apologies from both ends, and loads of ice cream. Peyton promised that she wouldn't let her feelings for Lucas get between Brooke and Lucas's relationship. Brooke didn't admit it out loud, but she was skeptical of Peyton's promise and decided to keep her guard up. Peyton asked Brooke not to say anything to Lucas and Brooke agreed.
Brooke and Lucas's relationship was going perfectly, but Brooke insecurities kept resurfacing. The thought of Peyton and Lucas together kept nagging at her. What if Lucas knew that Peyton was in love with him? Would he leave her for Peyton? She'd never find the answer because Peyton was adamant about Lucas never knowing, which was fine with Brooke.
Peyton was another issue. She thought she hid it well, but Brooke saw right through Peyton's façade. Brooke saw the longing looks Peyton would often give when she saw Brooke and Lucas together. She saw the lingering stares in Lucas's direction. Again, more questions arose in Brooke's mind. What if Lucas and Peyton were meant to be together, but they never got their chance? The first time Peyton and Lucas tried to have a relationship they were doomed from the start. No matter what they felt about each other at the time, they honestly couldn't pursue a relationship when practically all their friends alienated them because of their being together. What if there would always be something brewing between Lucas and Peyton that they never got to explore?
As if some sign of fate, Brooke received some exciting, and life changing, news when she went to see the career counselor at school.
"There's an opening next year at FIDM NY. Vogue has offered you one of five internships for next year in New York as well!" Mrs. Dunn, the counselor, explained excitedly.
"Vogue Magazine?" Brooke practically shouted. "How? What? Anyone would kill for that internship! How did I get it?"
"I submitted some of your sketches to them and they loved it!" Mrs. Dunn explained.
"But… but they get like millions of applications, with sketches. And I heard they only really consider people with an in at the magazine."
"I'll be honest with you Brooke," Mrs. Dunn said. "They do get a lot of applicants and they only look at submissions from someone on the inside. I have a good friend who works at the magazine. I told her about you and gave her your application with the sketches."
Brooke's excitement deflated. "Thank you Mrs. Dunn. But I don't think I can take the offer," Brooke said regretfully. She wanted this… really wanted this, but she wanted to earn it for herself.
"Brooke. I know it seems like I got this internship for you, but it was all you Brooke. You're a talented girl. Thousands of girls across the country apply for the internship, and hundreds of those were recommended from someone on the inside. Those hundreds are the only ones who have a real chance. I only got you the chance for consideration. You're talent got you the internship," Mrs. Dunn explained. "Think it over before you give me an answer."
Brooke left the counselor's office more confused than she had ever been in her life. This was a chance of a lifetime and she would kick herself if she didn't take it. But taking this meant leaving North Carolina, Lucas, and practically her whole life.
*End Flashback*
"So how was New York?" Haley asked.
"Huh?" Brooke asked in a daze.
"New York," Haley repeated. "How was it?"
Brooke smiled sadly. "It was everything I wanted it to be and more." She looked at her watch and realized she was late. "I gotta go Haley. I have a phone conference with offices in New York and L.A. about the new line. But um… tomorrow, we're um… all having dinner at the café. It's sort of a Friday night ritual. You should come, and bring… um…"
"Junior," Haley finished.
"Right. No one told me his name. But you guys should come," Brooke said.
"Sure, we'd love to." Haley walked Brooke to the door and hugged her goodbye. "Thanks for stopping by."
"Anytime you need me, I'm here for you. Just give me a call."
"Thanks Tigger." Haley swore she saw a quick flash of the old Brooke in her eyes at the mention of Tigger, but as soon it came, it was gone. Before Brooke could leave, Haley stopped her. "What happened to you?"
"What do you mean?" Brooke asked.
"What happened to Tigger?"
That was a loaded question. What happened was Brooke took the internship in New York and moved once she took her last final in sophomore year. What happened was she broke up with the one guy she'd ever really loved. What happened was a week after she moved, and after she broke up with Lucas, he and Peyton got together. What happened was she met and dated a great guy in New York. What happened was she got engaged, and was genuinely happy.
Brooke sighed deeply. "Life happened," she said cryptically. "And it sucked."
Let me know what you all think, even if it's to curse me out for not updating in over a year - ALMOST TWO YEARS? I AM horrible!
And Brooke... oh there's a LOT more about why Brooke is... well, not Brooke anymore. That'll come later.
