Sokka's mouth burned and tears were piercing his eyes. Damn it . He forgot about how everything in the Fire Nation was so ridiculously spicy. The roast duck was flavoured with a crust of select hot peppers, the sea-weed was pickled with hot-root, even the noodles were flavoured with something. He stopped being able to discern flavours about six bites ago. Sokka took a sip from his cup to soothe the stinging pain and started hiccuping immediately.
"Are you OK? I can get you something milder ," Zuko asked in a tone that made it clear that everything was ordered extra-spicy, possibly in retaliation for the sea-prune dinners the Fire Lord suffered through at the South Pole once Sokka (mis)informed him that in the water-tribe culture it was considered a huge offense to refuse any food offered.
"I'm fine," Sokka managed to squeak out between two hiccups. No water-tribe warrior will back down from some chili peppers.
"Try the pig-chicken curry. It's delicious," Zuko smirked pushing another dish in front of him. Sokka scooped out a spoonful with a resigned face, secretly plotting his revenge for next time. If Zuko thought he had seen everything, he was very wrong. There was plenty of revolting dishes left in the South Pole cuisine. Shark-whale balls stuffed with moss-paste. Turtle-seal haggis. Jellied toad-eel. Blubber-fish eye soup.
"Do you think it's possible that firebending would disappear with the dragons like Ham Gao said?" Zuko turned back to Iroh who started the dinner in a good mood but appeared increasingly grim as they told him everything about the stolen eggs.
Uncle placed his chopsticks on his bowl and scratched his beard thoughtfully. "Balance is a delicate thing, Zuko. The disappearance of a fire moth can destroy even the mighty tiger-dillos." What did that even mean?
"Was this an answer?" Sokka whispered elbowing Zuko.
Zuko's reply was a shrug and an eye-roll to indicate that Iroh's maddening ability to come up with a nonsensical proverb in every situation was nothing new to him. It probably wasn't. Sokka always assumed that Iroh was the innocent victim of angry-jerk Zuko's angry-jerk temper during their long years at sea. Now he was reconsidering. Perhaps, the prince's temper wasn't entirely unprovoked.
"What I'm saying is that it's difficult to see all the consequences," Iroh clarified patiently.
"We must try then to stop it." Suki added with determination.
"Stop what? Sorry, I'm late," Azula stood in the doorway, in formal red military uniform, her hair tied in a traditional top-knot; a stark contrast to Zuko's and Iroh's casual outfits and untied hair..
"Nice of you to join us. You look great, Azula," Iroh complimented her niece politely.
"I can see Ba Sing Se is treating you well, Uncle. I don't remember you being quite so...rotund…" Her voice was dripping with sarcasm as she sat down.
"Earth Kingdom food is truly exquisite, Niece," replied Iroh mildly, rubbing his round belly with a contented expression. "Certainly, better than prison grub." Ouch.
"I am well aware, Uncle." Azula's smile didn't falter. She seemed to enjoy the verbal barbs. If this is what a normal dinner looked like in the Fire Nation Royal family, it was no wonder they were all so messed up. Azula looked around the room like she was owning the place. She almost had. Even after everything, she was still one heartbeat away from owning the place, which was a rather unsettling thought.
Azula picked up a piece of the extra-spicy duck with her chopsticks, dipped it into some fiery red hot sauce and popped the whole thing into her mouth. She didn't even flinch. "So what doom are we stopping?" she smiled lightly.
"The possible end of all firebending," Zuko replied in an overly dramatic tone as if he was announcing the end of the world.
"Would it be the worst thing though? If firebending disappeared?" Sokka wondered aloud, voicing a thought that had been swirling in his head. What if they looked at this all wrong? What if it wasn't a problem to solve, but an opportunity to grab?
All three members of the Fire Nation royal family present looked at him like he was suggesting summary execution of all turtle-ducks (actually, Sokka was not totally sure if Azula would be firmly against turtle-duck apocalypse). It was disconcerting to see them agreeing over something.
"How can you say that?" Zuko had that tell-tale twitch of his lips that in Sokka's experience preceded a tantrum.
Sokka raised his hands. "Look, all I'm saying is that if the Fire Nation didn't have firebending in the last 100 years, the world would be a better place."
Zuko and Iroh at least had the decency to look somewhat guilty, and Suki nodded in agreement. Sokka was on the path to victory. The Fire Princess just scoffed loudly.
"So you think there would be no destruction in a world without benders? That is rich coming from the guy who invented half of the weapons used during the failed invasion attempt…" Azula stressed the word "failed ".
Sokka turned red; the failed invasion remained a sore spot for him. After all it was a genius plan he devised all by himself. "That is not the point," Sokka shook his head. "How do you know I invented them?"
"I have my sources," Azula winked. "Do tell what is the point then?" she asked with a smile that managed to be menacing and intimidating at the same time.
"I'm just saying, being a non-bender is not the end of the world. Suki and I are fine without bending," Sokka pointed out.
"Brilliant idea, why don't we all go around waving fans and boomerangs?" Azula retorted.
"Maybe you need a refresher in fans," Suki jumped to her feet angrily. "It's never a good idea to underestimate a Kyoshi warrior."
Iroh buried his face in his hands. The peaceful duck-dinner was spiralling out of control at an alarming rate.
"It's not the same, if you are a bender," Zuko shook his head. "It's like losing a limb or an eye once you had one."
" You would know, Brother…" Azula smirked the signature smirk of an annoying younger sister who knows how to hit the sore points. That smirk seemed to be a universal constant of an older-brother experience, spanning through time and space.
Anger flashed in Zuko's eyes and he was about to jump up, but Iroh put a hand on his arms to calm him. Iroh was the incontestable expert in calming Zuko and the effect was immediate; the agitated Fire Lord sank back on his cushion, with barely a smoke through his nostrils.
"While these philosophical discussions are rather interesting, I suggest we talk about plans. How do we get back the eggs?" Iroh tried to bring back the conversation on track.
"What eggs?"
Sokka slapped his forehead in exasperation. Right. Azula missed the entire explanation so they would have to start all over again. Which meant longer dinner, and more spicy duck in hot sauce and whatever other torture Zuko devised for him.
Zuko rubbed his eyes. The draft proposal in front of him was about the setting up of a national haiku competition, with a week-long festival featuring theatre, fire-dance performances and tea-tasting. It was placed innocuously at the bottom of the routine "to be signed" pile. The only reason Zuko scanned it was because there appeared to be a doodle in the corner depicting either a weird tea-pot or a very excited owl-hamster at the height of mating season, which was definitely not a standard feature of royal decrees.
Sokka - and prime suspect of the doodle - burst into the study without knocking followed by Uncle Iroh. "We can't take her, Zuko."
"Was this you?" Zuko waved the draft bill into Sokka's face.
"The tea-tasting was Iroh's idea," Sokka grinned pointing at Iroh, who tried to feign innocence. "We took bets whether you'd catch it."
"Is this a joke to you? What if I signed it?" Zuko felt his blood boil with anger. He was slaving away every night over Fire Lord-business, while his so-called friend and his treacherous uncle were ganging up on him.
"I don't know. Would a week of fun and poetry threaten the Fire Nation national security? Disaster by fun!" Sokka said sarcastically raising both hands. It was a sore point. The South Pole had numerous festivals and everything (first day of snow, five snowy days in a row, the first celestial lights, the 25th day of the celestial lights, the first shark-whale catch of the season, the last shark-whale catch of the season) was a reason to celebrate, while the Fire Nation in hundred years of war seemed to have lost the ability to relax and enjoy life.
Zuko sighed. Maybe it was his fault. Uncle had constantly nagged him about the importance of boosting people's morale with music, dance and the arts. But he never allowed himself to relax - not during his exile, not now. The dark, father-shaped shadow that hissed nasty things about him being lazy and worthless never really left his mind.
He looked at Iroh - reminding himself that maddening proverbs and endless tea-jokes aside he was worth listening to - and tossed the draft law into the "to be decided later" pile.
"What were you saying?"
"I said we shouldn't take Azula with us," Sokka repeated. "It's reckless."
Zuko sighed. "She's our only lead. She knows the code."
"You could order her to tell you. You're the Fire-Lord after all."
"You clearly don't know my sister." Zuko retorted. Being the Fire Lord was way overrated. His ministers barely listened to him. What would be the chance of getting testy younger sisters to listen. "Anyways, it's not like you can order your sister to do anything." If there was something common in Azula and Katara, it was that neither girl took direction from their older brothers. It was part of a half-baked theory about the universal suffering of older brothers Sokka liked to explain over plum wine.
"Zuko, this is crazy. Azula is a risk. She'll stab you in the back the first chance she gets."
Zuko shook his head. "Not on this."
"How can you be so sure?" Sokka's face remained sceptical.
"Our interests align. This is bigger than me or her or the entire Fire Nation."
There was knock on the door. They all went quiet, wondering if Azula was lurking outside listening to their arguments.
"Fire Lord." A familiar giant entered carrying scrolls.
"Chit Sang. What are you doing here?" Sokka exclaimed. "Have you joined the palace guards?"
"I'm the chief editor of royal decrees," Chit Sang said with an expression that made it clear that chief editors were far beyond simple guards in status.
"I just find it surprising that someone your size would choose a profession so…" Whatever Sokka was going to say, he thought better of it looking at Chit Sang's impressive bicepses that were as thick as komodo-rhino legs.
"So ...what? General Iroh convinced me over a cup of tea that a man should follow his passions. And well, good grammar is my passion."
"And it is a fine vocation indeed," Iroh smiled encouragingly.
"Fire Lord. I'm afraid you need to sign again the new fire-safety code." The chief editor motioned at the scrolls in his hands.
"Really?" Zuko sighed with a pained expression. He usually had to sign 20 copies of every decree so they could be dispatched at the same time to all the provinces.
"The scribes misspelled "flammable" as "inflammable"." Seeing the scepticism on Zuko's face, Chit Sang added with a scowl. "Twice."
"Wait a minute. I'm pretty sure that "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing," Sokka interjected tapping his head.
"I don't think we'll take the word of a water-tribe man regarding expressions related to fire," Chit Sang argued.
"That's not how grammar works," Sokka exclaimed.
"I have to defend my honour, I'll challenge you to a Spelling kai ," Chit Sang stepped closer to Sokka menacingly.
"Stop it." Zuko yelled pinching his nose in frustration. The mention of anything kai gave him an instant headache. "I'll sign them."
Chit Sang placed the scrolls on the table, and left with a bow, slamming the door shut behind him.
"Where were we?" Zuko asked Sokka who was still muttering about ignorant Fire Nation editors who need to go back to school.
"I just think she'll betray you." His friend did not mince words.
Zuko looked at Iroh silently asking for back-up. Iroh smiled apologetically. "There's a possibility, Nephew. This whole thing could be a trap."
"I know. But I feel like she should get a chance to prove herself. Uncle, once you told me that evil and good fighting inside me was my legacy. Doesn't that mean it is also her legacy?" The question had been bothering Zuko for a long time. Ozai's blood and Roku's blood was in both of them. Balance and destruction wasn't only his heritage, but also Azula's.
"'You can lead an ostrich-horse to the river but you can't make him drink." Iroh said. It was unclear whether chance was supposed to be the river, but he was pretty sure Azula was supposed to be the ostrich-horse of the metaphor. Luckily, Azula didn't hear being compared to a common Earth Kingdom farm-animal.
"Yes. And if you sit by the river long enough, you will see the body of your enemy float by." Sokka shot back. Apparently, the South Pole had its own annoying lore of proverbs.
"But even a fisher-crane can get carried away by the river," Iroh continued, clearly enjoying the proverb battle and losing track of the actual conversation.
Zuko felt like his head was about to explode. "Stop," he yelled making all the candles in the room flare up, threatening Chit Seng's very flammable (or if Sokka was right, also inflammable) scrolls with immolation.
"If she was your sister, wouldn't you want to give her a chance?" Zuko pulled out his ultimate trump card. The universal suffering of older brothers card.
Sokka sighed in defeat.
Weapons. Check. Maps. Check. Half-read romance scroll for boring hours. Check. Extra pack of fire-flakes. Check. Compass. Check. As far as Sokka was concerned, Team Egg was ready for departure.
Suki and Azula were already in the ex-war-now-peace balloon, keeping as far away from each other as the dimensions of the airborne vehicle allowed. Zuko was giving last instructions to Interim Fire Lord Iroh.
"You are not allowed to redecorate the Palace, Uncle," Zuko closed the little finger on his hand to count off all the important things.
"Don't worry, Nephew. Everything will be exactly where you left it," grinned Iroh which made Zuko frown with suspicion. There was a trick to these things. One had to be specific.
"Or fill it up with junk." He closed his ring finger. "Or spend the treasury money on monkey statues." The middle finger joined them. "Or start music nights and pai sho tournaments." Zuko was starting to run out of fingers. "And you cannot establish new holidays and festivals." He closed his thumb.
"Not even a Tea-holiday?" Iroh chuckled.
"Uncle!" groaned Zuko.
"Don't worry. Everything will be fine. Minister Ryu and I will put our assets together..." Iroh wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at the strict old lady, who seemed to blush.
"Gross, Uncle," Zuko watched them with horror.
"I meant our heads, of course," The retired-general (turned fugitive turned tea-shop-owner turned inmate turned secret-society-grand-flower) turned interim-fire-lord patted Minister Ryu's rosy cheeks.
"I will pretend I have never seen that," Sokka noted drily. He knew old people enjoyed certain things one habitually associates with younger people, after all he had seen Pakku and Gran-Gran giggling like lovestruck teenagers, but knowing something intellectually and seeing it up-close was quite different.
Luckily, Iroh stopped flirting as it was his turn to fret. "Don't forget to wear your hats up in the balloon. You ears might get cold in the hard winds."
"We'll be fine, Uncle," Zuko sighed as he climbed into the basket.
"Dragonroot tea can protect you from a weary stomach." Iroh handed over a package, which Zuko took without a protest. It was useless to argue with Iroh about tea.
"And if you are in Idiyo province, don't forget to taste their legendary eagle-fish soup. It's truly extraordinary," Iroh waved.
"We are not going on a culinary excursion," Zuko reminded his Uncle about the gravity of their mission.
"The destination is the same whether we stop to marvel the fire-lilies on the way. But for the journey, it makes all the difference," Iroh raised his finger. Four pairs of eyes rolled at once in his direction.
"Cut the ropes," the exasperated Fire Lord ordered. Sokka was all too happy to comply. Team Egg was on its way.
