One last Christmas - continued...
... Was anyone here yet?...
No.
Sleep...
Anyone here now?
...Nope.
Back to sleep...
Is anybody here... now?
No...
Okay- sleep...
There has to be someone now.
Seriously? Darn it!
Well, off to sleep again.
That was pretty much what Christmas Eve was like for him. He'd told himself not to wake up properly until Emma came and woke him- which was annoying, because visitor hours only started at ten, and he was reaally impatient and immature when it came to Christmas. It wasn't hard to keep dropping off into sleep- the near constant flow of painkillers and all kinds of drugs made it easy to doze off again- but it didn't seem to be making time pass any quicker...
How about now!...
No...
Where were they?!
He sighed mentally.. Back to sleep again...
...
"...Jack..."
Hey, that was Emma... Wait- was this it?! Was this finally it?! A broad, childish grin lit up his face before his eyes had even opened. Christmas! Yes!
He opened his eyes, only to be assaulted with an explosion of sparkles, colour, people and noise.
"Merry Christmas!" About half a dozen voices called out- half a dozen?! He was expecting two! (Well, maybe four if Stoick and Valka showed up, but this was way more than he thought there'd be). What in the name of Toothless was going-... On?
He looked round... No way... North?... Tooth?... Everyone was-! He didn't know if could laugh with the machine breathing for him, but he gave it a good go- eyes shining as he grinned broadly at everyone.
They were all here! They'd all come! How-? He noticed Hiccup's bashful smile, as he stood, smiling, at one side... He'd invited them?... He'd brought together all his friends... to spend his last Christmas with him- and not only that, they came! They'd willingly given up their own Christmas plans to come to this now definitely cramped hospital room... All to wish him merry Christmas... He was touched. Everyone (almost everyone) was dressed in festive wear that matched the decor-wait, decor? They'd even-?
He looked round the room- strings of lights and shiny paper were strung across the walls, a beautifully decorated trees stood proudly in the corner, and a wreath hung on the back of the door... All this was for him?... He was honestly lost for words- unable to do anything but gawp and grin... Until Emma charged into him.
She gently dove her head into his side reached across the bed to give him a half hug. Now his Christmas was complete. The best gift he could ever ask for- his beautiful little sister.
She was like some kind of miracle medicine: within ten seconds of her first visit, he'd managed to lean up and wrap an arm around her- neither of which he was supposed to be able to do, but somehow could because she was there.
He ran a hand through her hair, his beaming smile not leaving him for a second.
"Hey Em!" He grinned, returning the hug as best he could. He grinned over her shoulder at the people behind her. "And look who came all the way from the North Pole." He smirked, looking at North's Santa suit he'd no doubt borrowed from his time in the grotto. "Santa and his two elves." He said. Tooth and Sandy hadn't gone as overboard as North had, but they were still in knitted Christmas jumpers, with festive headbands on their heads. He wasn't surprised North was in the Santa suit- he looked forwards to this part of his job all year, and he really was the perfect Santa doppelgänger, (with his big, white beard, and jolly nature- the red coat just completed the look). But there was one person he hadn't yet addressed from the toy making superstore. The only person in the room who wasn't in festive wear (and even on death's door, he'd still managed to wear festive gear for the holiday season).
"Who invited the grinch?" He teased, smirking at his rival.
The grey haired Australian was in unusually unchristmassy clothes- he always insisting Easter was much better (for some reason)- but it looked someone had forced a pair of reindeer antlers onto their Scrooge, at least. All Jack could think of was how much the antlers looked like ears- he could even get away with saying he looked like an angry bunny! He struggled not to laugh at the thought- the Australian had been given the nickname Bunny since before he even worked at the place. A little kid had announced to almost the whole shop that the hand detailer (or painter to normal people) looked like his stuffed rabbit, and he'd been stuck with the name ever since.
"Ha ha." He drawled. "Don't make me snap that Bane mask on your face." He warned with a slight smirk. Jack chuckled- he'd gotten a new ventilator mask which left his mouth free so he could speak without sounding like Darth Vader, but still reminded him of Batman's arch nemesis. Although, he almost missed the Vader mask- he'd enjoyed inventing new Star Wars episodes with Princess Emma Leia and Hiccup Skywalker (starring Toothless as Yoda).
"But I need this to breathe." He said, putting on his best Bane voice- not one of his best ones, but it made them laugh at least. North laughing the loudest (big guy, big laugh, they always said- often replacing 'laugh' with pretty much anything).
"Time for presents!" North announced, obviously unable to wait any longer. He slung a big toy sack off his shoulder (he always did go overboard with the whole Santa act) and dropped it on the bed- only to have Emma push it off.
"Mine first! Mine first!" She begged, shoving a parcel right under Jack's nose.
The look on North's face as his presents got pushed aside was priceless, but he managed to laugh it off. Jack turned his attention to Emma's gift- it looked like she'd done the wrapping herself, he noticed, she was getting pretty good.
She watched him intently, as he (deliberately) slowly peeled back some of the wrapping paper.
"I'm surprised I even got anything." He joked. "I thought I was top of the naughty list." He remembered, thinking of the two giant, magnetic boards in the shop that looked like scrolls- Bunny had written Jack's name right at the top where nobody could reach (he just took it as a compliment).
Bunny snickered like he was hiding something at the comment, but didn't say anything. Jack didn't pursue it- he'd find out what that snicker was about sooner or later- and carried on pulling back one, tiny strip of paper inch by inch...
"Faster!" Emma demanded, jumping up and down with contained excitement. He chuckled and tore the whole thing off, revealing a whole collection of handmade gifts she'd made at school over the past few weeks.
There was a painting of three different sized and coloured blobs (her, Jack and Hiccup's heads) set in a frame with an explosion of glitter surrounding it; a string of colourful, Christmassy beads on a long piece of string; a polystyrene cup decorated like a penguin; a paper plate Angel; and self made and decorated Christmas card in that neat, little handwriting she was so proud of.
All of it was as beautiful and priceless as diamonds to him- he loved every last little gift. Like the big brother he was, he made a massive show over each, individual object- cooing and marvelling over them- cracking a joke, or making funny comments whenever he could- making her beam with joy. She'd laugh at her daft brother's silliness- jokingly slammed her head into him whenever he'd say or do something stupid, but he knew she loved it.
Then, when all the little crafts were adequately viewed and taking up every last inch of space on his bedside table, North finally got to throw his bag of goodies onto the bed.
Only then did Emma notice some of them were different.
"Why's some of them pink?" She asked.
"Well, Christmas is for all the good little girls and boys, isn't it?" North grinned at her, eyes twinkling in that Father Christmassy way that only he could do. Emma's eyes lit up, going round as baubles as she realised what he meant.
"This one's for me?!" She exclaimed. "And this one- and this one." North continuing, gesturing just two more of bright, pink wrapped boxes.
"The pink ones are all yours." Tooth told her, smiling (Tooth had got her nickname from an incident involving a kid's loose tooth getting knocked out- she'd handled so well they'd nicknamed her the Tooth Fairy, or just Tooth most of the time). "There's some from each of us." She explained, gesturing her fellow toy workers as she grinned giddily at Emma.
The little girl looked at the pile- which was almost fifty percent pink- and dove straight for the nearest box, before she suddenly remembered her manners. She tackled each of the toy store workers with a hug- almost dragging Bunny to the floor, as she jumped on him a little too enthusiastically. It was a good job they were in a hospital, Jack thought- they almost needed a nurse.
"Calm down, Emma." He told her, halfheartedly. "I don't think he'll fit in the bed with me." He joked. Emma's eyes suddenly widened as she looked pleadingly at him.
"Could I get on? Please, please, please, please!" She begged, drawing out that last please as long as she could. With that puppy face, how he say no? He tapped the side of his bed.
"There's room for a little person." He invited, and not long after she'd carefully shifted his legs aside was kneeling on his bed (she'd towered above him at first, until they tilted the bed upright.
Emma unwrapped toy after exciting, new toy. Squealing, marvelling, rattling, guessing, squeezing, unwrapping, gasping, grinning- and generally having a great time. Every time she opened a parcel, she turning to show it to her brother- asking what he got, as they unwrapped their gifts together. The Guardian's employees were all content to watch, and enjoy the magic of Christmas through the two siblings. They just loved watching kids enjoy themselves- that was why they did what they did.
Hiccup also sat and mostly watched the two, but (like the Guardian's employees), he did make occasional contributions to their conversations, and the random comments getting thrown across the room with every new, unwrapped item. But Hiccup was more quiet than usual for a different reason- and it was sat right under his chair. He was waiting to give Jack his present- it wasn't what he asked for (that would come later), but he knew it was going to be a big deal to him; so much so, he was going to wait until the others had gone out for Christmas dinner, and him and Jack were alone to give it to him.
Emma's presents were mostly typical stuff you'd give to little ten year old girl, but Jack's- given his condition- were sometimes a little more personal than he would've normally got for Christmas.
He got the sugar free mints and sugarplums from Tooth; and a sack of coal, 'for the naughtiest kid on the list' (that had been what the snicker was all about earlier), as well as an ornately painted chocolate Santa and reindeer from Bunny. But Sandy... he'd made something a little more meaningful.
The smallest worker couldn't speak, but he was a master craftsman- making some of the most beautiful and awe inspiring items and designs in the store. One of his more famous works were the Sandglobes (which had given him his nickname)- a collection of golden snow globes that showered little golden animals in glittering sand coloured dust.
But, the one Sandy had given him was a special edition- and he'd had left the globe in the same original packaging as every other Sandglobe... but with this model, there was one, small difference. There was a note inside, laying on top of the protective wrapping for the glass ornament. It fit the box exactly, and it was probably left inside every one of the ribbon tied boxes... But that was what took his breath away.
On that thin sheet of paper stretching across the top was five words... 'In memory of Jack Frost'...
The design was of a young boy- a teenager, but with a youthful feel about him. He was reaching up towards a giant snowflake, like he was catching a falling star. The boy. In the perfect image of him. Captured forever, in the heart of a snow globe...
But he understood the deeper message Sandy was saying to him... He was letting him know that he would be remembered. His name was now immortal- living on in this Sandglobe, and the many others just like it being sent across the world at this very moment... That was his legacy. He wasn't just a small boy, who lived a small life, and died with little impact- he was going to be remembered.
He would not be forgotten.
Just those five words on that small slip of paper had taken his breath away... They'd melted his heart in a way that it had never been melted before... It was one of the greatest things he could've asked for- his memory living on in a gift that would bring joy to children across the world.
But it wasn't the last present to give him a lump in his throat- no... it was just the first.
The next was an ice blue Russian doll North had made him. He said they had an identical one just like it back at the workshop... so whenever they saw it, they would remember him... All of him. Every layer, through every hollow doll.
The top one was just a normal, everyday, painted doll. It just looked like an average boy- nothing special about it. But beneath that first layer, there was more. The second doll was an obvious troublemaker- it had a devilish smirk lighting up the mischievous glint in his bright, blue eyes. The next one was smiling softly- painted hands resting on the shoulders of little brunette girl. The caring, brotherly side of him. Definitely a big part of him. Then came frowning doll, with an ice blue teardrop on its cheek... As much as he hated to admit it, his grief was also a part of him- and it wasn't going away any time soon (he doubted it ever would). Deep down, even now, he still missed his parents- and harboured more than a little bitterness about his pitifully short life. Then, just before the core- hidden right in the deepest, darkest part of him, where no one would ever find it until the last moment- that dark surprise. The doll was pale, a pitch black blotch spreading across its side and chest, like a part of the wooden doll was rotten, and slowly eroding away... No need to guess what this one was- it was the reason he was in this bed right now- but, the last doll, right at the centre... it made previous cruel reminder null.
The doll stood in silvery blue casual clothes... with a pair of beautiful, pure white wings sprouting from its back. An angel.
Whenever they saw this, back at the factory, they would remember him. The boy who, at first glance, seemed like nothing special, but, once you got to know him, was a devilish trickster- but was kind and caring in his deeper nature. They'd remember the tragedy, and sadness, that he kept hidden under wraps- and the ticking time bomb hiding within... But, most of all, they'd remember him for what they really saw. A boy, with the heart of angel.
That was the real gift here- it was similar to Sandy's, but much more powerful. They would not forget him. He'd forever be remembered by them.. As him. All that he was, the good and the bad. He wouldn't just pass on from their minds and their memories- they'd remember him... He'd live on in their hearts.
Then, just when he thought he'd reached the end of his presents, and they could melt his heart no further, they brought out the biggest, most heartfelt gift yet. A big, thick sketchbook- hand made and decorated- with the words 'Jack Frost' embossed on the front.
He'd been dazzled and touched by the cover alone, but when it just kept coming- page after page of memories, each one lovingly put together with hours of work and devotion put into it... He was glad Emma was turning the pages for him- because it was seriously overwhelming him. They'd actually done it- they'd well and truly rendered him speechless. His heart was a puddle- he'd just melted thoroughly. He could sense the effort and feeling they'd put into each individual page- the whole book seemed to radiate with a warm aura. He didn't know how much more he could take- it was all just too much, but it just kept going.
Page, after page, after page, after page, filled photos, bits of writing, glitter, pressed flowers, buttons, string- anything that looked pretty, or meant something to him, decorating every page from edge to edge. It was so heavy, he couldn't even lift it himself. Emma squeezed in next to him, and started pointing to each of the pictures, telling him each and every story behind each page- just like this was another piece of school work she was proudly showing to him. She told him who did each page, as they'd all chipped in with some of it- it was a collective gift, from all of them. Hiccup had done a few charcoal drawings- most showing just the three of them, but sometimes including a life size Toothless with them (said dragon even had a whole page dedicated to himself).
Hiccup'd even included a peculiar looking sea shell he insisted was the dragon's scale. On the next page there was a vivid reproduction of one of Jack and Bunny's argument, complete with speech bubbles. After that there was a huge collage of pictures that him, Emma and Hiccup had took, messing about on the younger teen's phone. The next page was everybody's nicknames- each surrounded by personalised doodles. The next was full of silvery glitter, with a plastic mirror in the middle- the words 'Jack Frost' framing it, as he looked at his own reflection. Then there was a very impressive painting Piccaso would've been impressed with- showing the five Guardian's employees (Bunny's handiwork). Then there was a-...
It went on and on- each page just as magical as the last- and he honestly just couldn't believe the amount and time and effort they'd spent making it for him. It was the best gift he could've asked for (until he changed his mind again)- well... except for that one thing he'd asked Hiccup for- he hoped the teen had held strong to his promise. Regardless, this book was incredible- the perfect collection of all his life and his friends, all lovingly bound together and decorated by hand. He'd be lying if said his eyes hadn't acquired a glassy sheen by the end of it. It was just beautiful. He reached an arm round Emma, and gave her as tight a hug as he could manage.
"It's amazing." He told them all. "I love it." He smiled- such genuine heartfelt emotion behind his words, that he noticed his eyes weren't the only ones that were starting to shine.
"Thank you." He told them- and he'd never meant any words more in his whole life. He hoped they knew how grateful he was... for everything. Those guys... they meant a lot to him- every last one of them... He just wished he could get the chance to spend more time with them...
Even now, he could feel himself slowly weakening... but he was determined to keep going- he was not dying on Christmas. He was holding on until the new day... but all the while they were talking, he was slowly slipping away... Without Christmas to give him a reason to keep fighting on, he had no doubt he would've passed away a long time ago... But for now he was still here...
"Bye Jack!" The young brunette called- her coat, gloves, hat and scarf all pulled on tight, ready to brave the elements. Only Hiccup remained sat by Jack's bed as the others got up to leave. They were going off to get some Christmas dinner at North's, (rather than putting up with the hospital canteen's equivalent), but Hiccup had insisted upon staying. The two boys both watched, as they left, exchanging out goodbyes with Hiccup and their bed bound friend...
Then when they were gone, and the door was closed, Jack asked.
"... So why did you really want to stay?" He knew Hiccup too well- he knew full well he wasn't just staying to keep him company, there had to be another reason behind it.
In response, the younger teen reached under the wooden chair he'd been sat on all morning, to pull out a sleek, black laptop bag Jack hadn't even known was there. Wordlessly, he got out the device and placed it on his own knees. As he waited for it to boot up, he explained.
"...I was going through the back room." He began.
Jack immediately went tense... The back room... The one part of their small apartment he never had the courage to enter... He just couldn't bring himself to confront it- it was just too terrifying, too painful. "I was just sorting through stuff... And I found these." He told him, cryptically, moving the laptop onto Jack's lap.
The white haired's heart was in his throat. This was from the back room... The thought terrified him like nothing else. If he had any control over his own breath, he was pretty sure he'd be hyperventilating. "I thought you might wanna see them." Hiccup finished, sitting back down and waiting for him to move.
Oh god, oh god... it's from the back room... Did he want to watch this? No- no! He just couldn't deal with it- no. He couldn't. He was absolutely terrified, his heart thumping loudly. He couldn't- just couldn't... Why did he want to so badly?! He was so mixed up with emotions, he didn't know what he was feeling- his head felt like it was running in circles, going insane in a world that seemed to have flipped on its head. It was too much- it was too terrifying- he couldn't handle this! He wasn't ready!...
And yet, still... his hand moved to the bottom of the keyboard... to click play.
"Okay, I pressed the thing- is it on?" The voice came out from the speaker.
Jack froze. It was a good job the machine was there, because he suddenly found himself unable to breathe. The screen was still pitch black, but he didn't care about that- just the audio was enough... Just the voice- the voice that for so long he'd only ever heard repeated in his head... It was... It was him... Oh god... It was his dad.
"Hold on why's the screen still black." He heard him mumbling to himself. "The red light's on, so why isn't it-?..." The voice trailed off. Muffled noises indicating the camera was being fumbled with, as he tried to figure out how to work it.
Then a second voice broke in- a woman's voice, sounding like it was being shouted from across a house.
"Have you taken the lid bit off the front?"
Jack's heart did a painful backflip... That was his mum...
More fumbling noises then the clattering of plastic crackled from the speakers- then suddenly a man's face appeared on the video.
His breath hitched in his throat- only through the mask was he taking in air. He almost shattered, as he saw his father's face again. Tears filled his eyes, as he fought not to cry from the sheer longing tearing him apart... He looked exactly like he remembered him, an older version of himself: rough, brown hair, wild and unkempt; his chestnut eyes narrowed in confusion as he tried to figure the camera out.
The camera flipped back round to show a room- one he recognised so well... It was home. The old home- the real home... The one he loved so much... He was overwhelmed- so many childhood memories from just that one room.
"Aha!" The man's voice exclaimed victoriously. "Got it!" His now offscreen voice yelled, panning the camera around the room so Jack got the full punch of bittersweet memories, right in the gut. He suddenly felt sick... Homesick... He missed that home- he missed the room, and he missed his dad. Then suddenly, the panning came across a woman... Mom... He missed her too- he missed her so much.
"You and your toys." She smiled, shaking her head. "You're going to be playing with that thing all day, aren't you." She said, smiling at the man behind the camera in the way Emma so often did to her big brother.
"Ahh, and here we have the most beautiful thing in the house." He commentated to the camera- and somehow Jack could hear the grin in his voice. He zoomed the camera in on the bundle in her arms. "Little baby, Jack- isn't he adorable." His dad joked. Jack couldn't tell whether he'd just laughed or sobbed- that was just so much like his dad, always teasing everyone. It was what had prompted himself to retort, and given him a sly tongue over the years- every clever comment that came out of his mouth, was all because of his dad.
It was a little strange perhaps seeing himself as a tiny, pudgy baby, but he didn't really care too much about that- he was just silently pleading with the camera to show him his parents again.
The camera lurched slightly as a blur of a hand pushed it back in rubuke. The man chuckled through his berating push, before refocusing the camera mother and baby again.
"You're nice too, honey." He corrected. Jack mouthed the following words even as they were spoken. "Third most beautiful thing in this house." Jack's mouth trembled, but he still didn't know if he wanted to cry or smile. His dad was always saying that (she became the fourth most beautiful when Emma came along). He'd always claim that his little boy was the most beautiful thing in the house, soon followed by himself, leaving his mother third (Emma had been second, knocking their dad down to third).
She rolled her eyes at the cameraman- something her grown son would come to do a lot of in future years. That was always her response to it- rolling her eyes, just like that- just like she just did...
He couldn't get enough of the video- he was drinking in the sight of his parents, holding on to their every sound they made... even, if it was just on a screen... He loved every moment- every hearbreaking, crushing, agonised moment... He loved them so much, it hurt... He just couldn't hold back the heartache- the endless crushing longing that was clawing at his heart. It broke a little more with every second that passed, as he sat watching them through that unbreakable window to the past- wishing, more than anything, that he could climb through and be with them again...
But, at the same time... he felt something new.
Something so small it was like the smallest drop of sun in the storm clouds of grief clouding his heart... and somehow... the hurt seemed to lessen, the tiniest little bit.
His father's teasings, and mother's playful scoldings ran on... and he started to feel just a fraction calmer... The video played on, documenting the heavy footed, headstrong baby's explorations in the jungle of furniture. Time passed and the baby grew into a boisterously loud toddler, recording his daily adventures, as he played with his father or mother. Then came the obnoxious eight year old with a devil's smirk, and unfiltered mouth full of cheeky comments.
He remembered his parents telling him he'd been a bit of a problem child- until, that was, the appearance of that one special bundle changed his life.
He watched his first time meeting his little sister through the camera's eye- even as he replayed the moment in his own mind. He remembered, in that moment, he'd promised himself... to always be the best big brother he could- and always make sure she was happy, with a smile on her face.
He remembered reaching out to the strange, little lump under the blanket... and feeling that magic as the tiniest fingers he'd ever seen wrapped around one of his own. She'd gargled happily and shook her small fists, and in that moment he knew... He would do everything in his power to keep that goofy, little smile on her face...
Even as little troublesome kid, he'd loved his little sister... and she'd literally made him into who he was today. He'd probably still be an arrogant nightmare of a child if not for that beautiful, little bundle changing his life.
The scenes moved on and he watched the second, little baby growing up just like he had himself: from her silent naps in the cradle, to her very first little steps- steps that he'd been there to guide her through. Her thick, clingy fingers holding on tight to his hands as he followed, supporting her every tottering, little step.
He watched as the little baby clapped her hands in delight as he put on a vivid puppet show for her with a pair of old socks.. Time moved on, and he saw two of them playing with brightly coloured toddler's toys together- evolving into simple snakes and ladders board games- then to the two of them running about in the garden together. The camera was hastily thrust into their mother recording, as their father rushing in to join the fun.
With every scene that passed, it seemed something small seemed to settle within him... He was sat, motionless, watching but unable to reach his parents through that tormenting glowing window, and yet... it stopped hurting so much.
As the scenes passed before his eyes, he began to feel like... it was okay, that they were gone... like he was finally making peace with their deaths, and letting them go... Pretty ironic, seeing as his own death was so close.
Eventually he moved his finger, and paused the screen. The video had been nearing its end anyway, and he wanted to freeze it on this moment.
The moment in which he'd managed to dig out the old camera, after years of it sitting in a box, and use it for the first time. He'd sneakily fooled everyone into thinking he was taking a picture of them, all the while recording every second. He wished he had taken it as a photo, the moment really was beautiful. All of his family, together and happy- Emma and his parents, smiling without a care at the camera. His wonderful mom, his young at heart father... And his beautiful little sister...
He ran his arm across his eyes as he felt a shaky smile split his face.
"You had to make me cry, didn't you." He teased, lightly, trying to clear the moisture that just kept reappearing in his eyes...
And yet... even though the video was over, he found that he wasn't bitterly longing for an impossible portal into the past- distraught that it had to end-... No, he felt something... different. He felt a strange sense of completion...
He remembered all that had happened in the last few hours: North, Bunny, Tooth and Sandy, giving out gifts, sharing chocolates with Emma, throwing teasing comments back and forth with Hiccup, marvelling the snowglobe, and working his way to the centre of the Russian doll, throwing wrapping paper at Bunny and pulling Christmas crackers with Tooth- the scrapbook with its endless pages of memories and love... and now, the video...
He smiled. For once, genuinely and without any weight on his mind- the shadows in his mind, of the past, chasing away... And he thought to himself... He really couldn't have asked for a better life...
It was dark now... The room was silent from within, the angelic voices of a choir singing carols drifting in, from speakers hidden in the corridor, through the crack in the door.
The room had been silent for a long time, but now someone finally stirred, feeling the buzz of their phone in their pocket. They yawned largely as they shook off the embrace of sleep, and drew out the device to see the new message that had been received. The lit screen cast a rectangle of light across his face, revealing his relieved smile.
He slid the phone away again, then he placed a hand onto the arm of the bed occupant, careful not to wake the little girl sound asleep on his lap.
"Jack." He muttered quietly. Jack's eyes prised open slowly with next to no hesitation.
...Hiccup, he thought. He wasn't in the least bit surprised- they'd planned this night just under a week ago now...
This was going to be it... He was hanging on until the passing of midnight, when the new day arrived... and then he was going to stop fighting. As requested, Hiccup had woke him when all the others were asleep.
There was some last things he wanted to say... and he wanted someone to be there, with him, when he slipped away... and he wanted no one else but Hiccup.
Emma, he didn't want to upset with the experience- everyone else, he didn't feel close enough to- but Hiccup... he was practically his brother...and after everything he'd done over the past few weeks, he wanted to say thank you to him one last time.
"...Hic." He muttered, barely more than a breathy whisper. He didn't want to wake anyone- they'd all been given special permission to stay the night, since he was at the end of his predicted week to live week. Besides, the people here weren't one to turn down a dying kid's wish... So they were all here: North and all the other workers at Guardian's, Emma... and Hiccup. He'd let Emma crawl into his bed with him, the way she would if she'd had a nightmare (back when things weren't shadowed by the knowledge of his impending death).
The adults had all fallen asleep in their chairs- he'd asked them to stay the night, and after the Christmas rush in the factory, they were all too tired too keep themselves awake. But that was okay. He didn't want them awake, he just wanted them there... If anything, it was better this way.
The room was so poorly lit from the outside corridor, the light from the various machinery hooked up to Jack and keeping him alive were the brightest things in the room. Hiccup could see his friend's face in the light of the glowing screen showing his vital statistics- the small hills running across the screen revealing just how weak he was. Jack could barely make out Hiccup's face in the poor lighting, but he thought he could see him smiling.
"Mum and dad just texted me." Hiccup told him. Jack looked at him in confusion. Huh? What was this all about? He wondered, lazily. "They finally got the paperwork sorted. We've officially adopted Emma." He informed.
Jack felt a calm relief spread through him... That was the exactly what he wanted to hear... Emma was safe...
Only now he had nothing left to tie him down to life anymore... He could pass on happily, now he knew Emma would be looked after when he was gone. He just had a few more things he had to say... then he could finally stop fighting to stay awake... and be at peace.
"What.. time?" He whispered, holding on the the last of his strength to get through his final words. Hiccup checking the digital clock on the side table- it was almost completely obscured by Emma's little handmade presents, but he could still make it out. He hesitated... A part of him thought that if he lied he might be able to make him stay a little longer... But he knew that was selfish.
"...Ten past one." He told him, fighting to keep a tremble out his voice...
This was it. He was going... But he didn't want him to leave. No matter that there was nothing he could've done- no matter that it would be cruel to keep him alive any longer- no matter that he'd promised to do this- he didn't want him to die! He'd known this moment was coming, but that didn't seem to make it any easier.
Jack's glazed eyes were looking at him '..you know what to do..' they seemed to be saying. Hiccup took a deep breath and gathered the remains of his courage... He reached out and took took the finger clip off Jack's finger- quickly transferring it onto his own, pretending he didn't notice the shake of his hands.
This was how Jack wanted it. Whilst the machine was silent now, when his pulse faded it would start waking up the entire ward- and the room with it... He just wanted to die quietly- not with everyone panicking, the machine bleeping like a siren and doctors rushing in to save a life that had just wanted to leave, with Emma watching helplessly as they tried to revive him... This was how he wanted it... Quiet... Peaceful... With his friends surrounding him, and Emma sleeping blissfully on his lap.
Hiccup took deep, quiet breathes in an attempt to calm himself... One last thing... He reached up and put his hand on Jack's mask... But then he suddenly found himself paralysed...
Jack was so weak now, he couldn't breathe for himself if he tried- once that mask was gone, he'd just fade away... He'd die... This machine was keeping Jack alive, but he just wanted it to be over... He was ready to pass on.. and he'd asked Hiccup to do this one last favour for him... But he just couldn't do it. He'd asked him to, but he just wasn't brave enough. He didn't want to do this. He couldn't-... He felt tears start to form is his eyes...
He looked at Jack, shakily, searching for the strength or reassurance to actually do it... But Jack was in a another world- lost in land of the past.
He lay there silently as all the good times passed through his mind... His life flashing before his eyes... It really was his time... And yet... He felt strangely relaxed about it... This was his death, but all he could feel was a calm and peaceful acceptance...
He remembered the moment where he'd stood in the same place as Hiccup- beside a hospital bed, wishing his parents didn't have to leave... And they told him one last thing..
"Look after Emma, for me." He whispered, lifting up his fingers to reach for one last comfort.
Hiccup gathered his will, strengthened his resolve... and took it. He nodding firmly. I will, he promised. I'll make sure she's happy- and she's safe- just like you did. For you- I'll protect her for you- in your memory... He just didn't have the courage to say it out loud...
He looked at Jack... He looked so tired... Like he needed to good, long sleep, Hiccup thought... So that was what he'd do... He'd help him sleep... Happy and at peace... Jack was so tired of fighting to stay alive... So he'd help him... He'd help him go... After all... It was just a long, peaceful sleep, he thought.
He slid the mask off his head... and for the first time in a long time... Hiccup gazed upon his face without the mask... Just the way he was meant to be... Like he had been before all this... and he watched as his mouth opened to speak his final words...
"...Thank you..." He whispered, the words barely more than the faintest noise... But he heard them.
...Thank you...
He treasured those last words, and held them tight to his heart, in the same way he was holding on to motionless hand.
The soft choir music from outside rose gently into another song.
"Silent night... Holy night... All is calm... All is bright.." Hiccup almost wanted to get someone to turn it off, but he refused to leave Jack's side... He could feel him slipping away... His face slowly relaxing, letting go of its worldly worries... as he faded from this world to the next...
"Sleep in heavenly peace..."
Hiccup watched, suddenly taking comfort in the song- yes, that's all he was doing... He was just sleeping... and he would stay with him... Until the end... He looked much calmer than he ever did in life... so peaceful... almost angelic...
The pulse in his fingers slowly drifted away...
...and his eyes slowly slid shut...
"...Sleep in heavenly peace..."
Merry Christmas I'm the lonely life
