When I laid back down in my own bed, I didn't even bother to close my eyes to try and sleep. I knew it wouldn't come easily and I didn't feel like forcing it. So I just laid there and stared at the cold, white ceiling panels that reminded me so much of myself. It was plain, square, and just ordinary. It could never be used for anything other than what it was. If it was said to be used to stop world hunger, they'd laugh and toss it to the side. So it just sits there used for one purpose…..to make the ceiling look acceptable, so it would fit in with all the other white tiles that surrounded it. One of millions…..
That's what was expected of me. To be one of millions of people who worked hard in school to be exactly like everyone else. I could never be anything more than a plain, white ceiling tile, no matter how much I wanted…..or needed….to be different.
I could never be the Michael Angelo masterpiece that was Kurt Hummel. Every tile was different…..each, one in a million.
I needed to stop thinking about Hummel….he was the reason I couldn't get myself together, the whole reason I didn't know who I was anymore. I struggled to keep my mind blank until I saw the first sliver of sunlight from outside my window hit my face. I checked my alarm clock; 5:25. It was at least another half-hour before I was supposed to wake up, but I decided to go ahead, get ready, and head into school early. I quickly threw on a light blue polo and a pair of jeans, grabbing my letterman jacket from football on the way out.
I didn't wake up my parents to tell them where I was going. They usually knew where I'd be, at the field or getting breakfast with Azimio. But this time I went somewhere different. I went to the football locker room…..
Yea,….the same locker room where everything began. When I found out I was so…so confused. I felt a hint of anger rising in my throat. I yanked out the locker and stared at myself in the small mirror that glinted from the back of the compartment. Every locker had a mirror in it in McKinley. Why? I don't know. I think sometimes it's meant to be a cruel joke…
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, but only for a second before I slammed my fist into it, shattering my reflection into tiny unfamiliar pieces. I couldn't stand to see myself like this….so weak and almost broken. Yet, I refused to help myself; it would only get worse. But if I didn't get help it would get worse still. It was a lose/lose situation either way…
As I pulled my fist back, the tinkling of the broken glass hitting the bottom of my locker made me laugh. I began picking the bloody slivers from my hand and continued laughing til I cried. Streams of tears streaked across my face until I felt almost empty inside. Letting out all this frustration was almost God given, I composed my self while looking at the damage I'd caused in my locker.
Breaking a mirror was seven years of bad luck. What the hell would it matter to me? My whole life right now was a run of bad luck…..how worse could it get?
For the majority of the day I prayed I wouldn't have to see Kurt….Wait a minute….why did I say Kurt? It's Hummel to me, not Kurt! He never called me David so why would I call him by his proper first name…?
I prayed I wouldn't see Hummel during the day. I still wasn't ready for contact of any kind; to tell you the truth I wasn't ready to see him…ever. Every moment that passed was a moment of potential conflict with him.
Turn a corner? No Hummel….
Turn another corner? No Hummel….
Long hallway? No Hummel…..
I was pretty certain that I wouldn't have to see him at all that day, until the second to last bell of the day dismissed us to our last period. I got hung up in my last class explaining to my teacher why my biology project had not been completed yet. So I decided to take the back way through the school that lead to the outdoors commons area. I picked up my books from my locker, slipped on my letterman jacket to shield myself from the harsh Lima cold, and headed down the hallway towards the outdoor staircase.
Azimio waved at me from down the hall, a blue slushie in his hand; his target either being Finn Hudson or his loud mouthed girlfriend. I watched him turn a corner and disappear into the depths of the school. I sighed heavily, continuing down the hall towards outside. The cold air hit me with a stinging intensity, I could almost feel the color drain from my face from the frigid wind.
I turned the landings, winding down the stairs to my destination but I was stopped almost dead in my tracks at the second to last landing. I saw Kurt point me out to a short, dark-haired guy in a red and black school uniform.
"That's him…" I heard Kurt whisper quietly from behind that new kid.
"Don't worry, I've got your back….Excuse me," he chimed approaching me, blocking and stopping me from getting away. I saw Hummel look on nervously as he did so, clutching tightly to that brown leather messenger bag he always carried around.
What was this guy trying to do? And what did he have to do with Kurt? I'd never even seen this guy before…..but I didn't want to stick around to find out.
"Hey lady boys….this your boyfriend Kurt?" I mused, looking at Kurt.
"Me and Kurt would like to talk to you about something," said the dark-haired kid, eyeing me intently. A panic arising in the back of my mind quickly made me decide it was time to bail.
"I gotta get to class," I scoffed thrusting Kurt back against the wall as I pushed past the two roughly. I momentarily felt his heart beat against my hand as I shoved. It was beating like mine…..pounding in fear.
I descended few stairs to the landing below, the other two boys slowly following. "Kurt told me what you did….." he quickly stated. I froze up inside, a feeling of dread washing over me…
Kurt had told someone…
I played it off like I didn't know what he was talking about but in reality I was screaming insanely, flipping out, in my head.
"Oh yea? Well what's that?" I questioned snidely, puffing out my chest acting as if I had nothing to hide. Like I wasn't hiding half myself to the world…..
"You kissed me….," Kurt breathed shallowly, looking me in the eye.
I whipped my head around, seeing if anyone had heard or even noticed the words he'd said. This cannot be happening I yelled in my mind. Kurt opened his mouth and squealed about the whole thing to this guy. I couldn't let them see how this was affecting me. Just be cool Karofsky, just do like you have been doing…..acting like it never happened. Get yourself together man, your falling apart at the seams because of it.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I muttered, shifting my eyes everywhere; keeping them from meeting the stares of Kurt. I suddenly felt sweat start to bead on the back of my neck…..I was such a liar.
Hey it's Adiment, hope you enjoy this one…..its a little lengthy and boring I'm sorry to say but it puts basically all of Dave's cards on the table….confusion is driving him up the wall at this point lol
Plz plz plz plz review….they show me you care lol There will be more to come don't worry loyal readers
