Prompt 3: Family/Kids

This sort of ended up being more of iron man one-shots with pepperony at the end... sorry!

But it still all kinda connects? Please read and enjoy anyway ;)

Pepper was making Tony go spend the morning with babies. Specifically, babies that the Avengers had saved before the whole Winter Soldier debacle, who attended preschools throughout New York City. People kept trying to hand him screaming babies wearing smelly diapers. You'd think people would get the message by now. He doesn't like being handed things.

He'd tried to get out of it, but for some reason, Pepper had been adamant this time. "You're good with kids," she'd said. "It's good to have some non-violent publicity," she'd said. And she'd gone on, talking about babies. Tony had zoned out by that point.

Happy marched up to Tony, not looking his usual happy self. In other words, his face was set with a frown slightly grumpier than usual. Tony sighed into his coffee. Couldn't people leave him alone for one single coffee break between press releases? Was that too much to ask?

It used to be Steve dealt with raising public support for the Avengers. Tony once got a kick out of signing him up with the Department of Education for an entire day of making motivational videos.

They still show them in the high schools. Of course, then Cap had to go and piss off the entire UN and U.S. government, leaving Tony to clean up the mess.

In short, Tony wasn't in the best of moods.

Tony took another look at Happy. He looked determined. That meant Tony was going to have to do something responsible. Again.

Tony glared at his Head of Security, "What?"

Happy glared right back, "Why did you have to go adopting kids for a hobby? Couldn't you have gotten into electric cars or something?"

Tony looked at him like he'd grown two heads or something, "Come again? Did you see the press coverage this morning? I hate kids! Their grabby and smelly and screamy…"

Happy shook his head, "No I'm talking about spiderboy."

Tony raised his eyebrows, "Peter? What's he got into this time?"

Happy rolled his eyes, "He's in Tennessee for some reason. He's in trouble."

Tony groaned, "Tennessee? Why is he-"

Happy interrupted him, "No idea. But he's chasing some bank robbers and disconnected his tracker… and we both remember what happened last time he went off on his own."

Tony heaved himself up with a sigh, getting ready to take the suit off to the middle of nowhere to track down a certain kid superhero with a love for trouble.

Happy shook his head, half chuckling to himself, "Tony and kids… who would've thought?"

Tony yelled back over his shoulder, "I don't like kids!"

When Tony arrived, he could clearly see Happy was right: Peter was in trouble.

Peter had three bank robbers webbed up in the bank, but one had gotten away and run into the crowd that had gathered outside.

Ironman pursued the last bank robber, but stopped when the man yelled out, waving a gun wildly, "You'd best back off Iron Man or you'll have civilian deaths on your hands!"

And with that the criminal grabbed the closest person to him, a young girl wearing a hello kitty watch.

Before anything else could happen, another voice rang out from the crowd, "Let go of my sister!"

Then the bank robber, to everyones surprise, started to be attacked with potatoes thrown at high speed. They came from the crowd. Specifically they came from a potato gun in the hands of a young blond boy. With a particularly well aimed shot, a potato knocked the gun right out of the bank robber's hand.

Spiderman showed up just then, tackled the bank robber, and webbed him up nicely. The crowd backed away from the boy with the potato gun. Tony turned his head to see, out of all the people in Tennessee: Harley

The owner of the potato gun then yelled out, "Woah it's Spiderman! You're so cool!"

Then he turned to Tony before he had a chance to say anything, "Wait Tony you know Spiderman? See I knew we had a connection but I didn't know you just hang out with kids all the time. Doesn't your girlfriend ever ask you to hang out with, like, actual adults?"

Harley then turned back to Peter, "So knowing Tony, he gave you cool stuff. He gave me this potato gun and lots of cool engineering gear. What he get you?"

Peter looked at Harley, then at Tony, then back at Harley, "Um… well he actually made my suit…"

Harley grinned, "Nice. I don't know why but Tony just has this connection with kids."

Tony finally got a word in edgewise, "I don't like kids!"

Harley's little sister walked up at that point. She gazed up at Tony with wide eyes, "Woah! It's Iron Man! He's the coolest superhero!"

Tony crouched down to look at her… silent.

Then he muttered, "Okay… maybe I just like her."

That night, Tony made his complaints known to whoever was around to hear them. That ended up being his long-suffering girlfriend, unfortunately for Pepper.

"I don't like kids!" Tony announced, not waiting for a response to the out-of-the-blue comment.

"They're needy, and whiny, and annoying, and have attitude problems…"

"Tony," Pepper interrupted.

"…and they never listen to a word I say," Tony went on.

"Tony!" Pepper almost screamed at him.

Tony stopped, turning. He looked her over.

"What is it?" he asked, "You look serious. Are you feeling okay? Do you need to take some time off from the company? I've been telling you not to push yourself so hard-"

"Tony!" Pepper yelled.

Tony stopped again, looking startled, "What?"

Pepper sighed, "I'm fine. Actually, I'm better than fine. Actually…"

She paused.

Tony looked at her, eyebrows raised, waiting.

Pepper looked nervously at him, "Um. I'm pregnant."

Tony stared at her expressionless. Then he blinked.

"Sorry, could you repeat that? I thought you said you were pregnant."

Pepper closed her eyes for a second, and breathed, "That's what I said."

She opened her eyes again, looking into his eyes, "I'm pregnant."

Slowly, Tony's jaw and eyes opened wider… and wider.

"You're…"

Then he grinned. Then he laughed. Then he kissed his girlfriend.

When they stopped for breath. He twirled her around.

Tony looked at Pepper, eyes as happy and bright as a child's at Christmas. This was truly the best thing that had ever happened to him.

"We're having a KID!"