Hey, guys! I'm back. Because of DemiGoddess, I realized how many things I need to clarify.
DemiGoddess, thanks for the tips! They were really helpful. I'm all open to constructive criticism! Thanks for taking the time to write that really long review...:)
Okay, so lemme clarify...
Max lives in a future society under one dictator and a council that is basically the puppets of the dictator. He controls everything, and they listen. It makes sure that he has less work, but he still gets the things he want done. The gladiator arena is a tradition of the Romans that continues throughout time, and it still goes on. Yes, they have great technology bla-bla-bla. So...in the future. Oh, yeah, also, the rule...well I thought of it to make sure there would be Fax. So, right now, I'm saying the rule about making the daughter marry the killer was created just to humiliate the family of the gladiator even more. It's a symbol of submission and defeat by giving up the eldest daughter, the future 'heir' of the family. And, this society is more patriarchal than the real modern society here now. In the story, men in this society consider women to be a lesser species to men. And since men are so great and stuff, all males must participate once at the age of eighteen, and you must be 'qualified'. If you are qualifed, you are forced into the games. The rule makers of the gladiator games assume most women are weak and they just go along with marrying whichever nasty guy killed their dads. And, mostly, it's true. That's why Max is different. She's...revolutionary. (But Max has always been revolutionary:)) She's something different to the society she lives in. Furthermore...just read the story. A background story is a great idea, but I've planned on making that later. It will make sense later.
Now, back to the story! This is replacement of chapter three...basically chapter three.
"I'm so sorry, Max," Mom says, standing in front of Ella and Ari. My mother is my birth mother, and Ella and Ari are both my real siblings. The bonds between us are unbreakable. I look away. "It's all right, Mom."
She sits down on the couch in our living room. Their living room. Soon, it won't be mine.
"Your dad never meant for something like this to happen. I know you two were never really close, but it's true." She says. I wince, thinking of the times when I was younger and he was drunk. Wealth was never good for anyone. My father...had never been a very great man. He had cheated on my mother, and I had kept it a secret from my mom. I didn't want to hurt her, and I didn't want our family to break apart. I hated my dad for that reason. Of course, I love my mom much more than I ever loved my dad. For cheating on her and just being the worst father, he had caused me to hate him.
I remembered when I used to care. I was a small child, and I had baked him a messed up cake for his birthday. Ari and Ella hadn't been around at that time.
*Flashback*
"Daddy, guess what day it is!"
He turned, drunk as ever, stumbling around with my mother at his side, holding his arm to support him.
"I don't have time for you people, I must go back to the arena!" He cried in a hoarse voice.
"Please, Jeb, don't," Mom begged, holding onto him. He whirled on her, slapping her in the face. "Ithsss my job. I needa go. Leth go!"
My mom fell to the floor, whimpering. I was shocked, and I had dropped the cake I had made him. "But, Daddy, it's your birthday...all Dad's spend time with their family on their birthday..."
He left without a word, leaving my mother on the ground, crying.
After Ari and Ella were born, Dad's behavior improved, but I never forgave him. My siblings adored him, but I despised him. He was always distant, knowing how much I knew about who he truly was inside.
We live in the wealthier part of town with sprawling mansions, beautiful lawns, and rich people with pampered poodles. We had come from the middle class part of the capital, the city where the most famous arena for the gladiator fights are in. We had risen from the worst class to the very highest.
Because of my dad. It disappoints me in some ways how much we relied on dad killing others. Now that dad is dead, we have nothing.
"Don't worry about me, Mom. What about you? Where will you go?" I ask, concerned. I look at my siblings, who play around and giggle and fight. They can't survive by themselves with just Mom. Mom has always been frail and too kind, and that kind of person always gets chewed up and stepped on in our society and spit back out. She can't survive. She can't keep up with Ella and Ari. She was too dependent on Dad.
"I-I will live at your grandmother's until I can really support myself. I still have the money your dad left behind. I'm saving that," Mom said quietly.
I nod. "For now, do that. I'm planning on fighting my way out of marrying Nicholas so I can help support you guys. You need all the help you can get, Mom," I say. For a second, she seems like she's going to object. Then, she says, "Max, you don't have to. I just want you to be happy."
I raise an eyebrow, amused. "Mother, do you really think I can be happy with the guy who killed my father? Just seeing his face makes me want to throw up in disgust. I despise him. I hate him so much. I may not have liked my dad, but my blood is still his. The blood of one of my family has been spilled in the arena, and you're telling me to live with the one who has done this and be happy. How ridiculous is that, Mother?" I ask, arms crossed. She cringes. "Max...I'm so sorry."
Something in me snaps. "Mom, you've got to be strong for the kids. Stop being so weak, okay? You're not going to be able to survive for a week by yourself with that attitude. You need to be tough, Mom. There's a reason why I'm worried about what will happen if I leave you. Take care of them, okay?"
The door rings, and I grab my suitcases of clothes. "I love you, okay?" Mom nods, choking on her tears.
"Hey, Ella. Ari." I lean down and hug them. They cling to me. "You will visit, right?" Ari asks, his big eyes looking up at me with cherubic innocence. I melt inside and bite back a sob. "You betcha, buddy. I'll visit you every week."
"Every day?" Ella counters, smiling at me. I sigh. "Maybe."
The doorbell rings, and he appears. I glare at him, but he barely glances at me. "I love you, guys. I'll come soon."
All of us hug before I leave with him. He tries to help me with a suit case, but I slap his hand away. He sighs as we head to his car. I jam my stuff into the trunk of his fancy, expensive-looking black car. "Look, I get why you hate me. I'm really sorry, but it had to be done. Your dad's...ah, a corruption in the system. He's too brilliant."
"You were smarter. You killed him," I reply coolly, looking straight ahead. "I've had a lot more experience," he replies darkly. I shoot him an odd look.
"Yeah? With what? Murdering?"
He takes a deep breath, his hands flexing on the car wheel. "I'm sorry. I can't explain it now. This is really important, though. It may be screwing up your life right now, but this is for the greater good for the future of society."
What the hell was he talking about? How would marrying him help society?
I merely nod, going along. I'm going to have to wait for Fang to slip up and tell me what he's up to.
I need a plan.
"Yeah? Well I'm definitely not on your side. What was with the kiss and the salute?" I ask. I pause. "Convince me to stay with you. Don't give me that other crap. I plan on winning in the arena, you know. And you're not really doing a good job of making sure I stay your wife."
His lips quirk into a smile. "Don't worry. I will." I glare at him, arms crossed as I look at the house. It's a huge mansion and beautiful, much bigger than my family's.
"Come on, then," he says, opening the door. I give him a look. "You really expect me to go in there with you?"
He sighs. "Servants! Bring her stuff inside. I'll take care of her."
The servants shuffle forward and grab my things, muttering, 'Yes, master'.
Nicholas grabs a fencing sword sitting on a bench, and he says, "We'll fence. Whoever gets five touches first wins. Normal rules. I assume you can fence, yes? Most girls are required to learn it...just for better balance. If I win, you come into the house with me and do what I say. If you win, I bring you back to your family and you can live with them. I'll file a divorce. You won't have to be my wife," he proposes. I'm shocked and filled with glee. He's underestimating me. I'm a lot better than most girls at fencing. It's worth a shot at trying to get back. I have to try.
"Yes. Where's your fencing gear?" I snarl, smirking. He tosses me fencing uniform and a blade while strapping on his. I quickly pull the clothing on me and strapping the helmet on. We go on the yard, facing each other. "Ready? On my mark," he says.
"On mine!" I cry. He sighs. "Fine. On yours."
"Ready...fence!"
Determined to defeat him, I watch his every step, analyzing each move. He relies more on his right leg. I can tell that he probably broke his left ankle, and it has never fully healed. He watches me, too. I can tell this might be a close one.
I just have to make sure I beat him before he can beat me.
Stepping nimbly, I decide to make the first move, adrenalin pumping through me. I feint at his right side before attacking his face with my blade in one clean lunge. He parries, hitting my blade back. I immediately move back into the basic position, waiting. "On guard!" All of my fencing lessons flood in, helping me remember everything.
Nicholas quickly steps around, whirling on his right foot and attacking me in a flash. I barely dodge, then take advantage of his vulnerable position. I hit his left side, but he has already sensed my move and parried.
I step back, slightly frustrated. He made such a careless move, yet I was unable to hit him! Nick smirks under the mask, and I try not to show my annoyance. One of my faults is letting my emotions take the best of me, and right now, I can not let that happen with my family in the balance. I know my mom won't be able to support the kids, and my grandmother will kick her out sooner or later. They have never had the best relationship, what with my grandmother and her snappy personality and sharp tongue. Huh. Now that I think about it, I probably got my personality from her.
"Are you not paying attention, Max? That's new for you," he taunts, attacking me firmly. I parry, combining a combination of moves that cause him to retreat back.
"What? How would you know?" I ask.
He smiles. "I saw the last time you fenced with your instructor Marian and the two other students. Who was it that you beat? Maya or Cornelia?"
I glare at him. "Both of them."
"Ah. Well. I only watched you and Maya fight. Maya is almost as good as you, but she doesn't have as good technique or your quickness and strength. You're also more balanced and experienced. Have you been in many fencing tournaments?"
"Yes. Fencing isn't just a game of physical strength. It's a measure of the mind. That's how I'm going to beat you, no matter how much stronger you are," I tell him. He dips his head as we continue to fence. "It is."
The next forty minutes go in silence, none of us willing to yield. Both of us have five touches. We're both sweaty and tired in the hot suit, but neither of us wants to show any weakness. We resist the tiredness and continue to fight. Our attacks become clumsy and not planned.
"Okay, I get it. Can we just take a break and fence tomorrow?" he asks, panting. Triumphant, I say, "Wimp."
He rolls his eyes. "Whatever. Now, can we?"
I grin. "If you beat me in a game of chess, then I'll go inside. Okay?"
He sighs. "Max. Please, go inside."
I rub my eyes tiredly. Even I had enough sense to go inside. I turn to him. "Yeah. But this isn't over."
I pause on the way inside, then I turn to face him, directly in front of him. "Oh, yeah. I owe you something, Nick."
I knee him really hard in the balls and slap him across the face. He stumbles backwards, groaning. "That...was...unexpected..."
I grin, walking away. "What can I say? I'm Maximum Ride, of course I'm a surprise."
He continues to groan on the ground. "Max...call me Fang."
I nod, still walking. "Whatever, Fang."
so...that was long
really long.
you didn't understand some parts? They'll be clarified later in the story.
Review and follow and favorite! bye!
