Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash
Chapter 2 Badass Incarnate
The beat-up 1972 Oldsmobile shaded an ugly, faded yellow puffs several clouds of pitch black smoke out the exhaust pipe as it pulls into the packed parking lot of the glistening S-Mart. The Olds moves slowly around the crowds of customers before pulling into an empty parking space. The engine cuts off with a dying whir and the driver's side door swings open, just narrowly stopping short of the car parked next to it. Out of the Oldsmobile steps a man who looks extremely out of place in his bright blue and yellow uniform. The man grimaces as he places the pin end of a name tag onto his chest with one hand. He grabs a large guitar case out of the passenger seat of his car before slamming the door shut and beginning to trek towards the S-Mart. The man's right hand is missing, a bandaged stump where it should be. Printed in large black letters on his name tag are the words "ASH WILLIAMS".
"Why do so many people wait until the week before Christmas to go shopping? Don't they realize that only suckers do that? Christ, I thought deadites were the worst things to come out during dark times."
Ash grins as he thinks to himself.
"House ware department huh? At least I'll get some exercise jogging all over the place to serve some rich asshole. Doesn't matter much anyway, I'm not here to make nice with jerk customers. I have to go to every little hellhole town like this for one reason only: I must destroy the Necronomicon before it falls into the wrong hands… again. It's only my destiny after all. Apparently there was some jacked up psycho named Voorwhos or Veehors or something that slaughtered a whole mess of people at a nearby camp. He supposedly had powerful supernatural abilities that drove the town mad with fear. That's about the only lead I have… so far."
Ash Williams makes his way through the two large, blue automatic doors that give access to the S-Mart. The store is still filled with noisy and irritated customers, surging into one mass of annoying skin. Ash grumbles at the sight of all the customers before he searches through the front of the store, eventually finding the service desk. Ash cockily announces his arrival to the older aged women who in turn quickly types into the computer in front of her. A few moments later she points over towards a young, pimply faced teen wearing a yellow star on his shirt right next to his name tag that bears the initials MGR on them. Ash groans to himself for a moment before he hands his large guitar case to the older lady to put behind the service desk, causing her to almost fall over from the weight. Ash doesn't notice as he saunters towards the manager that is younger than him.
"Hey kid, the name's Ash, I just got here, supposed to start today, y'know what I mean?" Ash muses at the barely past puberty adolescent.
The kid looks up from the check list he holds in his frail hands.
"Aw yes, Mr. Williams. Welcome aboard! My name is Hodder and I will be your manager for your stay here at our splendid S-Mart here in Forest Green! The first thing I want to go over is…"
"Hey kid, spare me the pep talk alright. I've worked in an S-Mart for longer then you've been able to walk," Ash exclaims with a shade of anger.
"Oh… okay then, if you want to be a Nasty Nancy that's your choice mister. Regardless, let me take you to the break room and introduce you to the other 'grunts'," Hodder says sternly.
Hodder leads Ash towards the break room, merrily waving and greeting customers as he passes them, most not even acknowledging the pimply faced manager. Hodder pushes the break room door open and steps inside, Ash follows right behind. Immediately, Jarvis jumps to his feet and salutes the manager.
"REPORTING FOR BREAK DUTY GEENRAL HODDER…. DAMN… SIR!" Jarvis yells, mocking the teenage manager.
"At ease ace," Raoul remarks as he leaps to his feet and mockingly air punches Jarvis' gut, making Jarvis flinch and curse.
"Alright, alright, calm down you misfits. This is Ashley Williams, the new 'recruit' into our S-Mart Army!" Hodder says excitedly. The other employees just sigh. "Ash, the foul mouthed hip-hopper over there is Jarvis. The Indian wise-ass is Raoul. The actually nice male member sitting down is Dave and our very own Employee of the Month right over there is Caroline."
Each of the four kids waves, nods, or ignores Ash as Hodder introduces them.
"Ashley, these four will initiate you to our very own S-Mart and lead you in what will hopefully be a productive career here in Forest Green. Remember, have fun and always think about the customer! And Jarvis, would you please remove the vulgar stickers you have placed on the front doors, they're distracting our customers!" Hodder lightly yells at Jarvis, who just grumbles and flips off the manager as he scratches his dreadlocks.
Hodder back the way he came, opens the break room door, and quickly exits. Ash gazes at each of the four kids, analyzing each of them individually.
"So… old man, you gonna tell us why you're still working at a shitty place like S-Mart when you could be my father, or are we just gonna have to stew in yo' awkward ass silence?" Jarvis grunts at Ash.
"Yeah, what's up with working here when you should be back in the home?" Raoul chuckles.
Ash scoffs at the two jokesters as he walks over to them, standing a few inches away from both Raoul and Jarvis, looking down at them.
"Listen up you punks, I'm only here right now for some loose chump change. I'm in your little hick town for something bigger then you two pipsqueaks could possibly comprehend," Ash states with vigor.
"Really? Like what? What are you here in Crystal Lake for Ashley, I mean Ash," Caroline inquires dreamily to Ash, who turns and looks down to her before he begins talking.
"I can't go into details right now lady, but where I come from, I'm a hero. I've gone places you only see in movies. I've defeated things that would cause your skin to crawl right off your body. I'm here to find something that could doom the entire universe…" Ash proclaims in a steady voice.
Caroline's eyes go wide as she instantly becomes amazed by the loud mouthed braggart. Jarvis and Raoul look at each other, shake their heads, and stifle a laugh. Dave quickly skims back and forth between Ash and Caroline, not liking what he's seeing.
"Oh come on Ash, that sounds like a giant, steaming load to me," Dave declares as he rises from the couch. He moves in front of Caroline and looks him right in the eye.
"Kid, listen up and listen up well, there's things that can find there way here that you don't want any piece of. There is only one man on this earth that can fight them and win. And kid, that one man is me," Ash says gravely.
Dave gazes sideways at Jarvis and Raoul with a smirk for a few seconds before looking back at Ash.
"Whatever you say old man. Guys, let's get back to work before Ashley has to break out his walker for a fight," Dave ridicules Ash.
Jarvis, Raoul, and Dave head towards the break room door and exit, leaving Caroline alone with Ash. The door slams shut with a thump. Ash charges towards the door with an angry stride and smashes his remaining fist off the door, clanging it in a loud noise. From outside the door comes a trio of chuckles.
"Ignore them Ash, they're just jealous. You're really fascinating!" Caroline exclaims in girlish joy.
Ash's left eyebrow creases upward in an arc as he turns around to face Caroline.
"Yeah…?"
"Heck yeah! All that stuff you said about being a hero, it makes me want to get out of this place so much! I'm sick of being stuck in this town where nothing interesting happens. So tell me Ash, what happened to you? And why are you here? And what happened to your hand?"
"It's a long story. But the short of it is that I rented this cabin from this old professor and when me and my friends strolled up there for a little vacation, all hell broke loose. Hidden on a tape recorder that we found was a reciting from an ancient book of evil called the Necronomicon that released an wickedness into the woods around the cabin. The evil spirits killed my friends, took my girlfriend, possessed my hand, forced me to chop it off, tormented me and sent me back in time to the days of King Henry the Red."
"Is… is that true Ash?"
"Oh, it's all true baby. It's my past and it's my destiny. My cursed destiny to track down that book of pure evil, retrieve it, and destroy it once and for all. The Necronomicon must not fall into the wrong hands… again.. or it could be used to transform our world into one of chaos and all hell."
"That's amazing Ash! But I have to ask, what are you doing looking for the Necro… Necronomicon in Crystal Lake?"
"I've been tracking the book for such a long time, traveling to little towns like this all over the good old US. During my latest research I found news articles about a hockey masked psycho killer that can come back from the dead named Jason Voorhees…"
Caroline shrieks loudly, cutting Ash off.
"What's wrong Caroline? Do you know about this Voorhees?"
Caroline starts lightly sobbing as Ash leans down next to her, places an arm around her smoothly, and comforts her in the macho way that only he can do.
"Caroline, I must know more about this guy. If he's in possession of the Necronomicon he must be killed and I must destroy the book before it's used for the wrong purposes."
"He… he… he's a monster Ash. The town has tried to forget about Jason Voorhees so many times but he keeps coming back and he keeps killing. The story supposedly goes that he drowned in Crystal Lake, the camp counselors ignored him, and he came back from the dead to get revenge on everybody. He's killed so many people Ash… He's even terrorized my cousin Lori!"
Ash holds Caroline in his arms as he ponders about this deadite Jason Voorhees in his head. Ash pulls Caroline away from him and looks her in the eyes.
"You must help me Caroline, you must tell me where this bag of death is. You could help me complete my destiny."
"Well, the old Voorhees house hasn't been wrecked down yet. It's not going to be torn down until the new year. I don't know if he's still there or where the hell he is, Jason hasn't been heard from in a long time, since he plunged back into the lake."
"Then it's settled, I have to go down to the old Voorhees house, kick some ass, take some names, and destroy that damn…"
Suddenly the door to the break room veers open, causing both Caroline and Ash to jump up in surprise. Jarvis, Raoul, and Dave all fall forward onto the floor of the break room, laughing their heads off in glee. Ash immediately seethes anger as he stands up and hides Caroline. Dave is the first one to get to his feet and face Ash.
"OH MAN, this is freaking great! An old, withered man who works at an S-Mart is a time-traveling evil prosecutor of the Gods! HAHAHA! And he's going to go fight Jason Voorhees! He isn't even alive anymore man! BWAHAHAHA!" Dave laughs continually.
"AWW SHIT MAN, HE GOT HIS HAND EXORCISED BRO!" Jarvis hollers with amusement.
"DUDE, DUDE, I wonder if Badass Incarnate over here could maybe somehow stab Jason in the heart with his walker!" Raoul boasts as he chortles.
Ash Williams looks angrily at the three S-Mart employees, laughing their heads off. Ash just steps around the laughing young group and heads towards the break room exit door as they continue to mock and deride Ash. Caroline tries following after Ash, but Dave grabs her by the waist and holds her close to him. Caroline looks towards the break room door, viewing one last instant of the Badass Incarnate before the break room door slams shut, shutting off the view of Ash's departure.
