Sorry for the late update, it's been a busy couple of weeks. I just watched the season finale, and will soon be posting the chapter related to it. This one is for "know when to fold'em". Enjoy!
They walked out of the elevator side by side. They must've made up, Donna thought. Mixed feelings rise in her, as she feels proud of her accomplishment in fixing yet again Harvey's relationship with Scottie, but can't ignore an opposite feeling in her stomach. She decides to focus on the first feeling, and smiles sadly as she sees Harvey smiling to Scottie, their nose almost brushing. Focus on work Donna, focus on work, a voice in her head was screaming. She was relieved Harvey hadn't asked her why she did what she did the night before, when she made him call Scottie. Relieved because she couldn't tell him the real reason, because it revealed a bit too much about her regrets, was she blames him for: not trying enough, not putting necessary effort.
He's glad Scottie forgave him and decided to let it go. He was tired of fighting with Scottie, and thought that he maybe should make the effort. After Donna's intervention the night before, he realized that against all doubt he had, she might really only see him as her boss, her lifelong friend and nothing more. Or she wouldn't be intent on making him and Scottie work. Whatever they had before, the unspoken feelings in her eyes the night they slept together seem to be gone; Donna was over it, it was time he was too. So he sighs in relief, trying to ignore the ironic fact that without Donna, he and Scottie wouldn't have given it a shot.
She sees her walk into Harvey's office, as she nods to her on her way in. "I have an idea how you could make it up to me tonight" Scottie said, flirting. Donna closes her eyes for a second, as she hears those words through the intercom. She thinks that it might be time to turn it off, but then realizes how wrong that would look. That line has been open for twelve years now. As soon as she heard Harvey's response, she could see where the conversation was going. He was obviously upset because of the possibility of Mike leaving Pearson Specter and being exposed, and he was unleashing it on her. She realizes how unfair it was towards Scottie, her not knowing about Mike. She wouldn't be able to understand his distraught, nor try to help him. She saw her leaving Harvey's office, heartbroken.
Donna walks into his office, making him once more channel his anger into the right position. She's taken by surprise when he asks her whether she was trying to fix or ruin his relationship with Scottie. She wonders just now if he saw through her acts, if he was able to locate that shadow of doubt she had about them. She sees something in his eyes, she's not sure how to describe it, but it soon fades away, making her answer in her usual Donna calm.
"It's good that you want to tell her, but you can't Harvey".
As she says these words, she realizes that maybe he was into it more than she thought. He was considering revealing one of his deepest secrets to her. It hurts her then, realizing how he was opening up to her, trusting her. For the first time since she has known him, he was trusting a woman with a deep secret; a woman who's not her. And she's not sure what hurts more, feeling like she's losing him, or realizing how hurt he might be when things are over with Scottie. Without thinking, she tells him why she thinks he shouldn't tell Scottie. She wonders if her reason, though valid, was driven by jealousy or simple overprotection on her behalf. Yet again, she finds herself lost in a sea of mixed feelings and thoughts, going through every wave and flow with terrifying familiarity, still not reaching ground. This experience she's been going through lately is terrifying to her; Donna is no sailor when it comes to feelings and matters of the heart.
When Harvey asks her about the intention of her actions in what concerns his relationship with Scottie, he knows that he's probably being unfair. But he still waits anxiously for her answer; hoping for her to say something to wake his doubts after she had sent them through deep sleep the night before. He thinks he caught a moment of hesitation in her eyes, but she soon answers him in her usual wise attitude. He tells Donna that he's thinking about telling Scottie. He's not sure why he does it. Part of him knows that by telling her the truth, he might not only lose her, but also jeopardize himself. Another part of him wonders about the possibility of her accepting it, appreciating his openness, and strengthening their relationship. But he knows Donna is right, at least he believes she is, and recognizes the danger of telling Scottie about Mike.
Mike walks towards Harvey's office, still wired by the twist in his decision. As he approaches his office, he can see Harvey and Donna talking, actually arguing. He supposes it's about him, but also acknowledge that it might be about Scottie. Donna and Harvey have an absolutely confusing awesome relationship, when he thinks about it. He knocks lightly on the door, asking for Donna to give him a minute with Harvey.
Mike knocks on the door, abruptly interrupting their discussion, much to Donna's relief. He asks to talk to Harvey alone, and Donna looks at Harvey, as they exchange a look that says: "it's okay". It's always been like that between them, the ability to communicate without words.
In a manner of speaking I just want to say, that I could never forget the way, you told me everything by saying nothing
Reviews are appreciated!
-G
